AN – And we are on to chapter 3 and Bella is in for a rude awakening. I would guess that Carlisle should be able to handle whatever reaction she has to what he has to tell her. Before we get to the story, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has stuck with me through this and all of my musings. You guys are why this is still going. Oh well, sit back and enjoy as you follow Bella as her journey continues.
Chapter 3 –
"Carlisle, what was it?"
Bella looked at him and then blushed at the depth of the emotion showing on his face. Ducking her head, she realized again that she was sitting in his lap. Something she never did with her own father or anyone else for that matter. She had only ever sat in Edward's lap and that was only when she badgered him into letting her get that close. Starting to feel uncomfortable, she pushed against his chest and slid off his lap. Moving across the room to look out her window, she sighed. "Tell me, please."
Carlisle stood and stared at her back, not sure how she was going to react. "I felt complete when I saw you that night and Jasper had to hold me back to keep me from going to you. He had reminded me that you didn't want anything to do with us so we were just there to keep you safe, not to join in your life."
Still looking out the window, she saw his reflection in the glass. "That doesn't explain why you're here if it's not a coincidence."
Putting his hands in his pockets he hunched his shoulders, preparing for her anger. "After that night, I kept track of you and your studies. I was intrigued when I learned that you were studying to become a doctor and I wanted to offer my help, but I knew you didn't want it. I went back to travelling and working as I was called in to help in different areas, but I kept up with Jasper so he could let me know how you were doing. I found out about this convention and Jasper was unable to follow you as he was afraid that you would catch him, that and Peter told him now was not the time for you two to reconnect. So I offered to come in his stead as I had a legitimate reason to be here and I volunteered to speak at the convention."
"So you two have essentially been stalking me for years and you have now decided that instead of staying in the background, you needed to talk to me?" Her emotions were at war inside her. She felt happy knowing that they still cared enough about her to keep her safe, but then there was the anger that she always felt when Edward tried to control her life. She had done just fine over the past seven years of making her own decisions and she wasn't about to let anyone else take that control away from her ever again. "Did you two not think how I would react when I found out?"
"Honestly, both of us were planning on staying out of your way, just being there in case you needed us. I never planned on actually talking to you unless you came up to me." Carlisle moved to stand beside her at the window. "But when I saw you yesterday, I have to say I kind of lost my will power to stay away from you. I guess you can say that I was taking more risks than necessary as when I found out that they had over booked the floor for the convention, I was the one that upgraded your room to this suite. All of the speakers are on this floor and I knew I could keep an eye on you better from here and I would be closer if you needed me."
Bella gasped. "So you…you paid for my room? I…oh wow…I don't know how to react to that."
"I wanted you to be comfortable and close by. I can't seem to stay away from you any longer and I don't really want to fight the pull I feel anymore." Carlisle turned to look at her. "Isabella?"
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "What?"
"Look at me please?"
Bella turned to face him, arms crossed as if to protect herself. "What?"
He searched her face, looking for something. With a sigh, he pushed through what he wanted to tell her. "I never understood or paid much attention to the strong feelings that I have for you, Isabella. I thought that it stemmed from accepting you as a daughter, a mate for Edward." He paused as she grimaced. Reaching up, he gently caressed her cheek as he continued. "I hate that it took this long for me to come to my senses. I am drawn to you and I don't want to fight the pull anymore."
"I still don't understand, Carlisle. Are you saying you want me to let you back into my life? You and Jasper?" The feel of his hand on her cheek felt too good and she found herself leaning into the touch. She had missed this simple contact from another person. Looking up at him, she felt a spark run across her skin as she saw the look in his eyes. "Tell me what you want."
"You want the simple short answer?"
She nodded, not able to break eye contact with him.
"You."
She gasped. She couldn't have heard him correctly. It had been seven years since she had seen any of the Cullens and had spent all that time believing that they all wanted nothing to do with her. Yet here stood Carlisle, the patriarch of the family, telling her that he wanted her. But in what way? She couldn't hide the fact that his closeness and his simple touches were stirring something deep within her, something she hadn't felt in so long. Confusion clouded her mind; she barely managed to squeak out a response. "Me?"
Carlisle brought his other hand up to cup her face. Leaning down just enough to bring them nose to nose, he nodded. "Yes, you."
"Me?" Bella squeaked again. "Really?"
Carlisle nodded, not wanting to interrupt her thinking.
"No. I don't…you can't…that's…oh hell." She finished in a huff.
Carlisle chuckled. "I'm not sure how I should take that response."
"You can't…" She took a deep breath, trying to focus herself. "Sorry. I don't understand what you mean."
"I should be the one apologizing, Isabella. I didn't think before I came over here and I shouldn't be telling you this. I know you didn't want us in your lives anymore and I respect your decision. I will leave you alone." He lightly kissed her forehead and darted out of the room.
Bella blinked, not completely sure what just happened. Looking around her room, she noticed that it felt completely empty now that Carlisle was gone. Turning to look back out of the window, she thought about everything that had happened since she called out to him.
Carlisle had acted so shy and nervous and yet he looked more comfortable than she remembered from when she was still with Edward. He was always looking after his 'children' and it seemed, now that she was thinking about it, that he never really was able to relax as he was either working or dealing with someone's issue. Which at that time was usually something that had to do with her. He had always made time for her though, no matter what he was doing. Always greeted her with a smile.
She was still reeling from the news that Jasper and Carlisle had been keeping tabs on her while she had been in Houston. If she was being honest with herself, she felt cared for. That was the only reason that they would be looking out for her, unless they felt obligated to, but they hadn't wanted her after Edward left so that thought just left her confused again. Then Carlisle comes over here and pulls her into his lap, holding her like she used to beg Edward to.
"Why can't things just be simple?" She asked the room. Looking out the window, she remembered seeing his reflection in it earlier. He had looked so unsure of himself and yet he had been more handsome than she ever remembered him being. She shook her head, trying to stop those thoughts from going any further. He was Carlisle, not just someone to lust after. Yet, as she remembered how comfortable he looked in his jeans and button down, the top three buttons left undone, she couldn't help wondering what he would look like with his shirt off and his perfect blonde hair mussed.
"Ugh." Bella leaned her head against the window. "What's wrong with me?"
She closed her eyes and went back over the conversation, trying to distract herself from the naughty thoughts she was having.
She was shocked to hear that the family had split up so completely after they left. She needed to speak with Jasper and let him know that she never blamed him for what he did and apologize for causing the rift between him and the rest of his family. And Esme? How could someone so easily leave the person they claimed to be mated to? She knew now that Edward and she weren't meant to be, but even that knowledge didn't make it any easier to handle him leaving her. After hearing what Carlisle said, she fully believed that Edward left her to protect her and not for the reasons he gave that day in the woods
Bella could understand why Alice left to go be with Edward and Esme made sense as well, but Carlisle should have been there too. Edward was his first companion and Carlisle should not have been left out of his life. She was giving herself a headache going over all of this information. Deciding that fresh air would be a smart idea before she went down for dinner, she freshened up in the bathroom before leaving her room. Stepping out into the hallway, she couldn't help thinking about Carlisle as she stared at his door. With a sigh, she turned to leave.
"I'm going for a walk." She said as she headed to the lift. She knew he would hear her if he was in his room and she didn't want him to worry if he went looking for her and found she wasn't there. As the lift doors opened, she turned to look down the hallway and saw him standing there, watching her. He looked so broken in that moment that it took everything in her not to go to him and give him the comfort he seemed so in need of. With a sigh, she stepped into the lift and pushed the button for the first floor.
She sighed as she stepped out on the first floor. Walking towards the front of the lobby, she almost expected to have someone impede her progress and tell her it was not safe out there. Another part of her had hoped that he would have wanted to join her for the walk. She didn't understand the feelings that seeing Carlisle made her feel. She wanted to be close to him and to put a smile on his face. If she was being brutally honest, she was seeing him as a man and not a father figure. This scared her as she wasn't sure she could survive another round with a vampire.
"Isabella?"
Bella fought down a smile as she stopped at the lobby door. Turning, she watched as Carlisle walked briskly to stop at her side. "Yes?"
Carlisle reached forward for the door and held it open for her. "Mind if I tag along for your walk?"
Shaking her head with a sigh, she stepped through the open door. "It's a free country, Carlisle."
He fell in step next to her as she walked. He kept his hands in his pockets as he kept pace beside her, not asking where they were headed, just enjoyed the companionable silence.
Bella couldn't handle the silence anymore. She needed answers and hoped that they would help her deal with the urge she was fighting to link her arm through his as they walked.
"Why are you really here?"
Carlisle sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Spotting a park off to the side, he led her over to a bench and waited for her to sit before taking a seat himself. "I am not sure I can answer that."
"Why not?" She huffed. "You always have the answer, Carlisle."
"This time I'm afraid I am just as confused as you sound. I know my showing up in your life again was not what you were expecting based on what you have already said." He turned to look at her. "I am sorry for the part I played in your pain back in Forks and I wish I could take it away from you. If I had known what he was doing, I wouldn't have allowed our family to leave you behind. It's not what family does. I wouldn't have left you."
"Thank you, but that still doesn't answer the question of why you are here. Why is it that the family split and you seek me out with Jasper? Why am I so important to you two?" She leaned back and looked up at the clouds in the sky. "I don't understand why you are here now."
Carlisle looked at her, seeing the hurt on her face and fighting the urge to pull her into his arms. "Isabella, I don't know how to answer your questions. I also can't tell you why it is that Jasper keeps an eye on you. I know part of it is to make amends for what happened on your birthday, but I think there is more to it for him. Me? My reasoning is a bit more difficult. I started out the same way as Jasper when I found out he was keeping an eye on you. I was drawn to you and I thought it was just to make sure you were alright."
She looked at him. "And now?"
"Now I can't seem to stay away. I have left Houston a few times since I saw you the first time down there, but I quickly completed whatever had taken me away so that I could get back to Houston, to get back to you." He looked into her eyes, trying to gauge her reactions. "I know that you are fine without us in your life and I would understand if you told me right now to leave you alone. After everything that has happened to you since you learned of our existence, both Jasper and I would completely understand."
Bella turned to look at Carlisle. She could see the compassion that she always associated with him, but she could also see something else. "So you are here for me and you want me. Want me how?"
If he could have, he would have blushed. "Ah, well, yes I am here for you. As I said in your room, I want you. It's not something I expected or planned on happening. I am really not sure how to explain this to you."
"Does it have anything to do with why you seem so sad?"
"What?" He was shocked that she had picked up on that.
"Ever since you came to talk to me, it was like I could feel your sadness, but you also seemed to be nervous. I never expected you to be nervous about anything." Bella shook her head. "The you I see here is not the same as the image of you I remember from back in Forks. I'm probably not making any sense."
"You are, I am just shocked. Normally it's just Jasper that I have to hear stuff like that from. You are more perceptive than I gave you credit for." He smiled at her. "Was there anything else that you felt?"
Bella cocked her head to the side, not sure how to answer that question. Ducking her head, she hid behind a curtain of hair. "Yes. I could feel how happy you were when you were holding me, but I could also feel your anger and grief over the cause of my pain. I thought I was the only one that felt so many things at once."
Carlisle looked at her, amazed that she had been able to pick up on his feelings like that. He wasn't kidding when he told her only Jasper was ever able to read him like that. Even Esme, whom he thought to be his mate couldn't do what Bella just did. "Isabella?"
"What?" She asked without looking up.
"Since I'm not Jasper or you apparently, can you tell me what you are feeling?"
"Oh." Did she want to tell him? It would only be fair since she knew how he was feeling. "Umm, well, I think the biggest thing I have felt is shock and I am still a bit shocked that you are here still. I'm not sure how I feel about what happened with the family after everyone left Forks, but I am glad that you and Jasper have each other. I would be sad if you two were left alone and it was all because of me."
"Isabella, piccola, that is nothing you need to worry about. Looking back I honestly believe that the family was destined to split apart with or without you in our lives. Do not feel bad for something that you had no control over." He lifted his hand but let it drop back down to his lap. "Is that all you are feeling?"
Bella peeked at him through her hair. "You speak Italian?"
Carlisle quirked an eyebrow. "You knew that was Italian?"
"Yes, Charlie wanted me to learn a language and that one just called to me. So I have been taking those courses over the past five years, I even took some Latin as I thought that it might help with my desired career choice." She blushed as she was nowhere near comfortable with this conversation. She made a choice to finish this conversation and answer his question the only way she knew how, so she cheated. "Ego perdidi te volo admittere nisi. Cum dolet sinistram reprobaverunt me. Ut non derelinquat me." (I have missed you, more than I want to admit. It hurt when you left, when you rejected me. Please don't leave me again.)
Leaning against the back of the bench, he took in what she said. He knew that she hoped that he didn't speak Latin, but he had lived for a very long time and that made room for learning a lot of languages. Turning, he reached for her hand and smiled when she didn't pull away from his touch. "La mia bella donna, ti prometto che non ti lascerò finché non mi dici a." (My beautiful woman, I promise I will not leave you until you tell me to."
Her eyes darted to his and the shock was evident on her face. She wasn't sure that she had heard him correctly. Did he just say that he would stay until she told him to go away? Could he really mean that?
"Yes, mia bella donna, I meant every word of what I said." Carlisle chuckled as she realized that she had asked those questions out loud. "I have not been able to stop thinking about you since we left you in Forks. You have no idea how hard it has been for me to abide by your request for us to leave you alone. Every time that I watched over you with jasper, he had to keep me from going to you. I have never before felt so compelled to be around someone in my life. I'm done fighting it."
Bella could only stare at him in shock. He wasn't going anywhere and he was done fighting the pull? That sounded like…but no, that couldn't be what he meant. Could it? "I'm not sure how to respond to that, Carlisle."
"You don't need to say anything." Carlisle whispered as he reached up to place a hand on the back of her neck as he leaned in closer to her. He stopped right before his lips touched hers, his eyes searching hers for permission.
Bella looked into the dark golden eyes asking to be allowed to kiss her and her heart melted. Without a second thought, she closed the distance and lightly touched her lips to his. The feeling of his cold marble lips pressed against her soft warm lips sent chills down her spine. She felt his tongue dart out of his mouth and trace along her bottom lip, causing her to gasp in surprise.
Carlisle seized the opportunity, darting his tongue into her warm mouth, exploring as their tongues danced. She moaned into the kiss and turned more fully to him so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Taking the initiative, Carlisle pulled her into his lap as he pulled his lips from hers to kiss along her jaw. "Breathe, Isabella."
Trying to regain control over her breathing, she tilted her head to the side as he kissed his way to her ear, gently nipping at her earlobe. Gently pushing on his chest, she leaned back. "Carlisle?"
He tried to fight off the feeling of rejection as he searched her face. "Yes?"
"Don't ever leave me again."
To be continued….
AN – not much of a cliffie this time thought I would be nice. I hope everyone enjoyed the shared moment between Carlisle and Bella. As always, reviews do truly make the world go round for us writers. Oh and the muses like them too!
Also, there is the FB page for updates and discussions. Just search for Bella & Jasper – Love Under a Blood Moon and you should be able to find it easily. It will be the hub for all Twilight fanfic discussions as I have Darkness and Love Under a Blood Moon as well as one shots that are in the works. If you aren't reading the other two Twilight stories…I highly recommend them, lol, but I may be a bit biased.