My Mother's Lullaby

When Anakin awoke at two in the morning, it was because he had been physically shoved until he had fallen off of the bed and onto the floor. He groaned, giving groggy protests of confusion, only to hear distant cries of the babies in the background, and Obi-Wan muttering "It's your turn" sleepily before he rolled over and curled into Padmé. Anakin had given a sigh and slowly stood up, rubbing his eyes. "Are they hungry?" he asked, perhaps selfishly hoping the answer was yes so that he could crawl back into bed and his wife could attend to the children. That notion was crushed when Padmé muttered, "Use formula."

Anakin gave a little sigh but didn't argue, padding out to the kitchen first and putting together two bottles sleepily. Shirtless and barefoot, he made his way to the twins' room without tripping over anything. His ears were immediately assaulted with loud wailings when he entered the room, making him wince. "Shh, shh, Daddy's here." He leaned on the edge of the crib, running a hand tiredly through his hair as he tried to gauge which child was being the loudest. /Leia/. Luke looked like the majority of his crying was due to his annoyance at his sister crying than his own hunger. Little Leia wailed and flailed, her arms reaching up in the air, whether that was a reflex or she wanted to be held, Anakin didn't know.

Even still, he scooped his daughter up into his arms, immediately bouncing her slightly as he moved to sit in the rocking chair. "Okay Princess, okay, I know, you're hungry, huh?" He carefully held Leia in the proper position and began to feed her from one of the bottles. Her screams died instantly and Anakin nearly exhaled in relief, his gaze on his daughter.

Luke, however, did not like that Leia was getting fed and getting Dad attention and he wasn't. When Luke's whining began to turn into wails as well, Anakin groaned and knocked the back of his head on the wood of the rocking chair. "Luke, I promise I'm going to feed you just as soon as Leia is done. Patience, my son," he spoke, as if the other could actually understand. Luke did not take comfort in his father's words, apparently, and began wailing louder. Stubborn child.

Anakin rocked slowly in the chair, trying to think of what he could do to calm Luke before he got a headache. Obi-Wan would often speak in soft, gentle tones that would keep the twins rapt with attention and calm as anything. He doubted his voice would be able to do the same, his accent was harsher, his tone too dry, but he decided to give it a try anyhow. "You're gonna be a powerful Jedi someday, Luke. A heart as pure as your mother's, a soul as kind as your father's." Anakin wasn't actually being conceited here, he was indeed referring to Obi-Wan. Out of curiosity they had gotten blood tests for the twins, and miraculously, Leia had been Anakin's and Luke had been Obi-Wan's. "You are perfect, my son. I love you so very much. ..Even when you're being difficult." He added as Luke screamed on, seemingly uncaring about listening to Anakin.

Anakin sighed and gazed down at Leia, who had almost finished with the bottle and was looking up at Anakin in a very sleepy manner. Those eyes... "You, missy, have your mother's eyes." He told her. "And don't think that means you'll get anything you ask, if you just look at me like that." Anakin tried to warn, but before he had even finished speaking he chuckled. "Nah, you're right. Both of you are going to be /so/ spoiled."

When Leia had finished her bottle and Anakin had burped her and placed her back down, Luke hadn't quieted once. However, the moment Anakin picked him up, Luke was content and snuggled into Anakin's hold. Anakin smiled, enjoying the silence- Until Leia began wailing. Anakin had found out that both of them loved to be held after they'd eaten until they fell asleep. Leia was not at all happy Anakin had disobeyed the rules.

"I'm sorry, Leia, I can't hold you right now. Padmé probably could, but I'm not that talented with juggling children." Despite Anakin's apology, Leia refused to quiet. As Anakin resumed his position with Luke now, the boy calmly feeding from the bottle as his sister screamed her head off, Anakin tried to think of a new tactic to try.

Singing maybe? Both Padmé and Obi-Wan would sing softly to the twins at times, but when Anakin did it, it didn't tend to have the same effect. Perhaps his voice was too loud? Still, it didn't hurt to try again. He began to sing simple lullabies, ones that he had heard Padmé use. Luke looked up at him with observant eyes, but Leia's screaming only quieted to a loud wail.

It was at times like these that Anakin felt quite inadequate. Luke and Leia seemed to behave so much more when in the arms of Padmé or Obi-Wan then when they were with him. He slowly stopped singing, simply watching Luke and feeling a weight on his heart as Leia cried. After a moment he leaned his head back agains the rocking chair, trying not to let doubts cloud his mind.

"I love you two so much," he mumbled to the ceiling, barely audible over Leia's wails. "I want to take care of you, but sometimes I just don't know what to do." He admitted quietly, going silent for a long while after that.

When Luke had finished his meal, Anakin got up only to pick Leia up so now both of his children were in his arms. Leia's wails reduced to cries, and Luke started to cry as well, t.

"Shh, shh, please, I'm here..."

That's all he really was doing. He was just /here/. Present but useless-"No, Anakin, don't think about yourself like that," said a voice in his head that sounded strangely like his mother's. Ah, his poor dear mother. He missed her now more than ever. She would've adored Luke and Leia, she would've given them the same smile she always reserved just for him.

After some time he sat back down in the rocking chair, attempting to soothe his children into sleep with the soft motion, even as they squirmed and cried continuously. "Please, babies, please...It's okay." He mumbled. He was highly considering sending a Sleep Suggestion to them each or to at least send a wave of calm to them via Force, but he almost felt as if he had something to prove to himself, that he could get them to sleep not as a Jedi, but as their Father. His normally over confident self was nowhere to be seen as he simply began to think about how /quickly/ Luke and Leia would sleep if they were in Padmé's or Obi-Wan's arms.

He closed his eyes, and heard that same voice in his head. "Stop tormenting yourself." Right. Focus on the children. Get them to sleep. How had his mother gotten him to sleep? If Anakin kept his eyes closed he could almost feel the way she used to run her fingers through his hair. And what's more, he could recall an old tune that she used to sing to him. It was almost eerie, and sort of sad when she sang it, and Anakin had asked often about it. His mother had always just given a little smile and told him it was the song of a heavy heart embracing its sorrow. She had said little more about it, but he remembered that each night she sang it he had been pressed to her chest and had never felt more secure.

He could almost hear her singing it now, and without realizing it his own lips began moving and the mournful tune he had never sung before in his life came out as if it had been practiced for an eternity. The harsh language of the Hutts sounded gentle, sad, and beautiful on his tongue, and he instantly felt a wave of calm fall over himself, but where it came from he couldn't tell. He just knew that this was exactly what he felt when his mother had sung this to him. Hurting and yet calm and more secure than he'd ever felt in his life.

As he began to realize what he was singing and the shock that he actually knew the words, he glanced down at Luke and Leia, finding that they had miraculously settled, gazing up at him with curious yet sleepy eyes. As he continued to sing, Luke gave a little yawn which made Anakin smile, and Leia leaned more towards him as much as she could.

When he had run out of lyrics, he softly hummed the tune over and over until, at long last, the twins were asleep in his arms. He felt comfort all over his being, and curiously, reached gently out with the Force to see what Luke and Leia were feeling. He was elated to find that the sense of security he so vividly recalled from his childhood was shining brightly in both babies.

With the familiar pang of love so strong it hurt, he gently kissed their foreheads and placed them down in their crib. He watched them lovingly a moment longer, before feeling a swell of gratitude rush over him. As he walked towards the door, to rejoin Padmé and Obi-Wan in bed, he cast his eyes skyward for a mere moment and mumbled, "Thanks, Mom. For giving me your lullaby."