Stretching the Boundaries
Chapter Three
"'I'm sorry, Scorpius," Lily said. "I shouldn't have gotten so mad at 's just that I had my heart set on Madam Puddifoot's. It was my thirteenth birthday after all, you know.' How's that?"
"Needs a little work," Lorna said. "You want him to take you back, and I'm not sure that's going to cut it."
"You're right. I'll keep practicing," Lily said, pulling out her mirror and repeating what she had said, trying to get the inflections to tune in such a way that Scorpius would have to agree to continue seeing her.
Later, Lily was on her way to talk to Scorpius when Sharon, the self-proclaimed leader in the second-year Hufflepuff sleeping quarters, stopped her.
"Lily, I just heard the most dashing news!" Sharon said. "You're boyfriend is in love with someone who is not you."
"I don't want to hear it," Lily said, covering her ears.
Sharon pulled out her wand and cast a spell which caused Lily's hands to come away from her ears about an inch and no matter how hard Lily tried, she could not bring her hands closer.
"The news is that—"
Lily stared humming but Sharon did a spell to cause her to become muste.
"As I was saying, Scorpius Malfoy is in love with Hermione Weasley."
Lily mouthed some words that Sharon couldn't hear.
"Oh, that's right. You're muted," Sharon said.
Sharon waved her wand and Lily burst out with, "You're lying!"
'Am I?' said Sharon, smiling. "We'll see." And she walked away.
Lily didn't want to believe it, but as she made her way toward the Slytherin Tower, she found herself thinking that she should check into this, even if it she didn't want it to be true…
She went instead to the seventh floor to wait outside of the Gryffindor Tower. Lily tried to guess the password, but the Fat Lady would not let her in without the correct one. ("Wigibrish," a new jinx that had become popular which caused people hit with it to speak only gibberish for a day, "gurdyroot," and "Ganymede" had yielded no results).
The first person to emerge from the common room was Dominique Weasley, one of Lily's cousins.
"Hey, can you fetch Rose for me?" Lily asked. "I need to speak to her."
"I am not going to get Rose Weasley because I do not talk to such a cruel person," Dominique said. "Find someone else to be your lackey."
Lily was thinking that there was some place she would like to put her foot, and it wouldn't be pleasant for Dominique. But she let her cousin pass by without voicing this thought.
The next one to come out of the portrait hole was Hugo, Rose's little brother.
He spotted Lily and said, "What are you doing here?"
"You mean, why did I come all the up to Gryffindor Tower from Hufflepuff Basement?"
Hugo nodded.
"Maybe I wanted some exercise?"
"Really, what'd you come up here for?"
"To meet someone."
"Who?"
"Erm...Molly."
Hugo gave her a wry smile. "Got a prank you need planned?"
"Not...exactly," Lily said.
"I'll leave you to it, then." He went on.
Of course Lily could not have told Hugo that she needed to see his sister to confirm a rumor that might be false about her boyfriend.
It was common knowledge that Hugo had liked a girl much older than him: Victoire, Dominique's sister. And though not everyone knew about his journal that was supposed to be a guide to liking older women, Lily did, and she began to ponder if the "prank" she'd use might not be too far from the term after all…
The next person to appear did not come out of the portrait hole but was coming toward it.
Her eldest brother was whistling a merry tune when she called to him.
"Oh hey, Lily. Good to see you."
"Can you do something for me?"
"Sure, as long as it does involve fire-drills or Fizzing Whizbees. I have swallowed four of those already in the past week."
"I hope you're joking."
"Wish I was. Madam Pomfrey says she hasn't seen so many visits from a student since our father was in school."
"If you say so. Anyway, can you go in there and see if Rose is available? I need to talk to her."
"You came up the wrong tower, sis," James said, shaking his head. "Rose is in Ravenclaw, not Gryffindor."
"Oh, right," Lily said, trying to hide her embarrassment.
She started to go and her brother was climbing in the portrait hole, when she whirled around. "Wait, James."
He came out again.
"Can you fetch Molly?"
"Finally, you name a Gryffindor who is actually a Gryffindor. I'll go get her."
Molly presently appeared, climbing through the portrait hole. "You wanted to see me?"
"I need you for a kind of…pranking requisite."
"And what, pray tell, is a 'pranking requisite'?"
"I just mean that I'd like you to fetch that book of Hugo's."
"You're not talking about the book, are you?"
"The one where he advises what not to do when liking an older woman,"
"Yes, that's the book," Molly said, frowning. "If he catches it missing, he will not be happy."
"Has that ever stopped you from pulling a prank before?"
"No, but Lily…this isn't exactly a prank."
"It may not be, but I need it done."
"May I ask why?"
"No, you may not," Lily said.
"Very well," said Molly. "You are one of my favorite cousins. I trust that you know what you are doing. But don't make Hugo upset, okay? He's a good lad, even if he does have a thing for Victoire."
"I won't," Lily said, by that meaning that she was sure that Hugo wouldn't find out about it.
Molly pulled out the Marauder's Map and tapped it with the words needed to activate it.
"What do you need that for?"
"Checking to see if Hugo's in his room."
"I just saw him walk past, leaving the common room. He couldn't be there."
"Maybe not, but his roommates could be."
She studied the spot on the map where the boys' room was carefully. "Drat! Derek Saunders just walked in there…"
Molly looked at Lily. "There's only one thing we can do. Derek has a huge crush on you and I know that if you show up, he'll be drawn out."
"Me? No, I can't do that sort of thing…"
"Do you want Hugo's journal or not?"
"Of course I want it, but—"
"Then let's go!" Molly exclaimed, pulling Lily along to the portrait whole. Mollly gave the password ("Belfry") and they went in. People gawked at Lily—a Hufflepuff visiting Gryffindor House! But they knew how the Potter-Weasley extended family liked to hang out in places they shouldn't be, so no one halted their progress.
They made it up the staircase leading to the boys' dormitories and stopped outside the room which said, "Second years." Then Molly debriefed Lily about what she had to do.
"Barge in there and tell Derek that you're in love with him. Push him on the bed and lead him out. Then figure out a way to get rid of him."
"That's an easy plan for you to come up with. You don't have to do any of it."
Molly smiled. "I am dong the most dangerous thing of all, stealing Hugo's journal."
Lily sighed and entered the boy's dormitories. "Hola, Derek," she said.
"Lily! In a House that isn't yours and the boys' dormitories, no less."
"Where's you expect to find me, the Forbidden Forest?"
Lily pushed Derek onto the bed. He looked up at her with wonder. "Wow,, you are amazing."
"I know," Lily said. She pulled him up and led him by the hand out of the room. In a small, secluded corner beyond the dark stairs, they began kissing.
Lily began to get frightened. For a thirteen-year-old, Derek made out like someone with a lot of experience.
It seemed like he would never let her go. And then something knocked into him from behind, and he fell smack to the ground.
"One of Uncle George's products," Molly said, presenting it for Lily's admiration. "It's a boxing telescope."
Lily thought it very weird. Telescopes weren't supposed to punch someone in the eye.
Molly handed over the journal, which Lily saw had the words, "Hugo's Guide For Liking Older Women" on the front cover.
"Perfect."
"Anything else?"
"I also think we need Albus' cloak," Lily said.
"I'm on it," Molly said, leaving Lily in the niche with nothng but Hugo's journal to keep her company.
Curious, Lily opened the journal and began reading:
Hugo's Guide For Liking Older Women
Dedicated to Victoire Weasley.
Rule Number One: Never smile or laugh at something she says. She'll know you like her, which is exactly what you desire. You do not want her to know this, for she will be quickly turned off, even if there is a chance she might like you.
Rule Number Two: Never kiss a girl around your age in front of her, because it will not make her jealous.
Rule Number Three: Never ask her to dance if you are both at such a function. She will not accept.
Rule Number Four: Never try to kiss her unless invited to do so, and unless you are in dreamland, you will never be invited to do so.
Rule Number Five: Do NOT buy her a canary for her birthday. (Have tried this with disastrous results.)
Rule Number Six: Don't give her flowers even if her mother's country of origin is known for decorating fleur-de-lis on everything.
Rule Number Seven: A compliment will not be appreciated by your lady love. She will think you too young to make such comments. Or for them to matter to her.
Rule Number Eight: You must not pick a fight with her boyfriend in public. (Have also tried this with disastrous results. It does not make her like you., and probably increases her hatred of you.)
Rule Number Nine: Do not let her find a notebook where you have written her name all over the pages.
Rule Number Ten: Do not let her know that you have a picture of her under your pillow and kiss it every night.
Rule Number Eleven: Do not try to innocently pat her knee as you pass each other in the hall.
Rule Number Twelve: Don't blow her a kiss at a party and pretend you thought she was someone else.
Rule Number Thirteen: Don't hire a House Elf to dress us in wings and try to "enchant" her with a song. (You will regret it.)
Rule Number Fourteen: Don't offer to tutor her in anything since you obviously have not taken the coursework she is and she will think you're a fool for doing so.
Rule Number Fifteen: Do not offer to scratch her back. She will look at you like you're crazy.
Rule Number Sixteen: Do not ask your grandmother to make her a sweater with her name on it and offer it to her.
Rule Number Seventeen: Do not ask your grandmother to make her a sweather without her name on it and offer it to her.
Rule Number Eighteen: Stop trying to win her affections. It won't happen.
Rule Number Nineteen: She thinks you are the most insignificant blob on the planet. If you try to change that, you will regret it.
Rule Number Twenty: Do not bake her cookies or brownies or anything even if you have won a National Culinary Award.
Rule Number Twenty-One: If you disobey any of these rules, she will be lost to you forever.
Molly arrived just as Lily finished reading rule number twenty-one. There was one more rule that she had left to read.
"Here's the cloak," Molly said.
"Should I put it on now?"
"No. Someone will notice that you didn't leave, as they saw you earlier."
Molly pulled Lily along while Lily felt exposed. They finally left the Gryffindor common room, to Lily's relief.
Lily then parted ways with Molly and went to Ravenclaw Tower where she waited half an hour when she couldn't answer the riddle that the door-knocker in the shape on an eagle had asked her.
Finally someone appeared and answered the riddle, "
Lily went inside and saw the circular room. This was strange. She had already been in Gryffindor Tower tonight and now she was in Ravenclaw Tower. And she might be heading to Slytherin Dungeon later, and of course Hufflepuff Basement included her sleeping quarters, so she'd be there eventually…
It was an hour before anyone noticed Lily sitting on the divan there. Finally a girl approached her. "I'm Head Girl and I'm pretty sure you aren't a Ravenclaw."
"I'm not. I'm here to see my cousin, Rose Weasley."
"We prefer family visits take place outside the House of residency when they are not between members of the same House."
"It's kind of urgent."
"Well, I suppose this once…I'll go fetch Rose."
In a moment, Rose was there.
"What do you want, coz?" Rose asked, a bit dazed.
"Did Scorpius talk to you about your mother?"
"As a matter of fact, he did, but not in a crude way such as you are putting it."
"Hey, no need to get testy at me. I'm not the reason Lorcan chose—"
"Lorcan likes me best!" Rose exclaimed, her eyes brimming with heat. "He's just with her because she's a control-freak. Or do I have to show you the scars that her whip left on my back?"
"Fine. I got trouble with my own boyfriend to take care of."
"Go take care of it, then! And leave your poor, cousin Rose alone!"
Lily rushed from Rose, who was frightening when she got in this state.
Once she got out of Ravenclaw Tower and caught her breath, she headed for the Slytherin Dungeon. There she used the password Scorpius had given the week before. She spoke to the wall and it parted to let her in.
Putting on the Invisibility Cloak that Molly had taken from Albus' room for her, she slipped past the Slytherins in their common room and went past the area that made one feel like the lake would plummet down on top of them if it managed to break through the glass in the ceiling there.
She slipped the door of Scorpius' open, startling the two boys who were there, neither of whom was Scorpius.
"Is't ghost?" asked one of the boys.
"Usually we can see the ghosts around here," said the other boy.
They were both clearly frightened.
Lily took a tentative step and tripped over a stuffed dog that made a barking noise. It scared the living daylights out of the two boys, who had not noticed Lily's toes poking out from under the cloak in the dark. They ran from the room.
Then she tossed the book on to Scorpius' bed, where he'd find it. She hoped it would dissuade him from pursuing Lily's aunt.
She reached for it one more time to read the rule number twenty-two that she had missed earlier:
Rule Number Twenty-two: If you break all of these rules, she will hate your guts for the rest of both of your lives.
Scorpius wouldn't be full enough to break all of the rules, but he certainly would break some of them to try to win Lily's aunt. The very idea disgusted her. She dropped the journal on the bed and hurried from the room, bumping into her relative Patrick Dursley along the way.
"What, whose there?" Patrick asked. She did not respond.
He seemed to think it had been a hallucination and Lily got out of the Slytherin Dungeon safely.