TITLE: "I Can't Believe They Voted Me Out" (3/4)
RATING: AA
CHARACTERS: Toby and the gang
SUMMARY: Each person's view in order that they were voted out of the "fantasy survivor game."
POV: Each character.
DISCLAIMER: The characters used from the West Wing do not belong to me; they are the property of Aaron Sorkin.
TIMEFRAME: Continues from "Where's Gilligan?"
***LEO***
It was obvious that I wasn't about to be alone so while I showered I told everyone to get comfy until I returned. It was great seeing everyone again. I am so glad to be back in a civilized world.
I stood in the shower until the hot water ran warm. I then shaved and dressed and reunited myself with the group.
"It's about time," the President exclaimed when I came out.
"Man I sure needed that."
"Feels good doesn't it?" Oliver asked me as he handed me a bottled water.
"Oh yeah. You tend to appreciated these things once you no longer have the use of them."
"I'm with you Leo. I will never take for granted a toilet ever," Abbey said smiling. "That had to be the worst two days of my life."
"I am just so glad to get away from Josh and Toby. I swear they're worse than children."
Everyone laughed. "What did Dumb and Dumber do now?" Bartlet inquired.
"What didn't they do is more like it? They fought over everything."
"Yeah that sounds like them," Bartlet said laughing.
"So what should we do now?" Donna asked.
"Let's go out and party," Oliver suggested.
"I'm not up for that guys. But you go on ahead. I'll just catch something on this old television here."
"Nonsense Leo. If you're not going out then neither am I."
"Mr. President,"
Bartlet raised his hand. "I'm on vacation Leo. And while I am on vacation I am just Jed Bartlet. So please, no formalities here."
I nodded. "Very well then Jed."
"So, I'll raise the question again. What should we do?" Donna repeated once more.
"We can sit around and gossip about those still remaining on the island," CJ recommended.
And that was what we all agreed upon. Drinks were poured and food was ordered and we all gathered around on the double bed that occupied my room. I have never done anything quite like this and I was for once, excited about being a part of a group.
"I'll start," Donna said. "I'll do Josh."
"There's a surprise," Oliver mumbled. Donna couldn't reach Oliver so she asked Abbey to smack him. Abbey was more than happy to comply.
"That was worth waiting for," Abbey teased.
"Okay so what do you guys want to know?"
CJ spoke up. "I have an even better idea. How about we play a revised game of balderdash, only instead of words we can write something embarrassing about the guys?"
"How does that work exactly?" Oliver asked.
"What's baldersplash?" Bartlet inquired.
CJ chuckled. "First of all, it's BalderDASH not splash. And it's a bluffing game. Usually you take a word and everyone has to make up a meaning for it and then we all guess which answer is correct."
"How if we all make up the meaning?"
"Because Leo, the person that would be reading the word out would be the one writing out the correct answer and then mixes it up with the ones that you guys would have written."
"Ahh," I said still not understanding what she just said.
Oliver was confused. "I know how to play regular Balderdash but I don't quite understand what it is you want to change?"
"Okay listen. Each of us will take turns choosing something intimate that we might know about the guys. Then you will write down whom it is we're talking about. Each person will put in say 20 bucks. And the person with the most answers in the end wins the pot."
Everyone caught on to what CJ was talking about now. "But what if we don't know something intimate?"
"Then you won't be the one revealing anything Leo," Abbey said laughing. That made sense.
CJ leaned over and opened the drawer. There was a small pad of paper and a pen inside. How did she know that? She handed us a few sheets of paper each. "There's only one pen so we'll have to share. I'll go first and then you write down who it is you think I'm talking about once you get the pen."
"Okay," we all answered.
CJ cleared her throat. "Okay let me think. (pause) Oh I got one. This person was on a date with a girl. They went back to her place and started, you know fooling around."
"Oh this is good," Oliver said.
"Shut up Oliver," Abbey warned.
"Well, while they were doing it, her parents came home. In a hurry to get dressed and get out of there he accidentally threw on her underwear instead of his own. He didn't realize his mistake until he got home and changed."
Oh my goodness. I don't have a clue who it was but I know that he's a moron. Abbey was the first one to write and I was second to last to get the pen and write my answer. I wrote down Josh. We folded our papers and then handed them to CJ.
"The correct answer is Toby."
"Toby?" Jed said surprised. "I figured Josh."
"So did I," Abbey and I replied.
"I said Toby," Donna said. Oliver closed his eyes.
"I chose Sam," he said.
"Why Sam? Sam's a good boy," Jed asked.
"Yeah but he has a habit of forgetting his drawers. I figured it had to be him."
"I won," Donna cried out. "Woohoo for me. Does that mean I go next?"
"Yep," CJ made a mark on the pad of paper that Donna had scored the first and only point.
"Okay this one's good. One of the guys that is still on that island had a blind date with a man."
"You're shitting me?" CJ squealed.
"I'm sorry did you say a man?" I must have misunderstood what she said. There couldn't possibly be someone on my staff who would date a man.
"That's right Leo. A man."
"Good God," Bartlet sighed. We all took our turn writing down who our guess. Once we were finished Donna revealed that it was Charlie.
"Wow, three of you picked Josh." Donna handed us back our papers. "Oliver and Abbey were right."
Abbey gave Oliver a high five. "Wait a second, wait a God Damn second," Bartlet said holding up his hand. "Do you mean to tell me that Charlie is a switch hitter?"
"A what?" Abbey said almost choking on her drink.
"Isn't that what they call people who play on both sides of the team?"
"What TEAM Jed? This is Charlie we're talking about not baseball." Abbey shouted.
"I know that Abbey. I'm trying to ethical here."
"Calling them switch hitters Sir is far from ethical. I think what you're looking for is bi-sexual."
"Charlie is not bi-sexual guys," CJ interrupted. It was a prank his friends pulled on him. This was long before he joined this administration."
"Ahh," we all said.
"So who goes next? Oliver or me?" Abbey asked. Oliver allowed Abbey to take the turn.
"This person was dared to streak across campus and actually did it too for a mere five bucks."
These guys are insane. I wrote down Josh when it was my turn. I was wrong, as was Donna and Oliver. CJ and Bartlet were correct in their guess of Toby. What hasn't this guy done?"
"Was he atleast wearing his own underwear before he got buck naked?" Donna inquired. Abbey shrugged her shoulders.
"I'm more interested in knowing how CJ and Jed knew it was Toby?"
"Toby admitted that to us both one night while we were having a meeting," Bartlet replied.
"That must have been some meeting," Oliver stated.
"You have no idea Oliver. Nor the amount of therapy it took to remove that image from my mind. Thanks to my wife now I'm going to need another appointment."
"I'm going next," Oliver declared. "This certain gentleman sleeps with a teddy bear and has ever since the day his parents brought him home."
When we get back to Washington I am seriously going to have to sit Sam, Josh, Toby and Charlie down for a good talking too. My guess was Sam. I was wrong. It was Josh. Donna was the only one to have it right.
"That's not fair. That's like insider trading," CJ complained chuckling.
Donna tossed a pillow at CJ who ducked and the President was almost knocked over. Now that is entertainment for my 20 bucks.
Abbey pointed out that Donna had 2 points and that I was the only one without a point. How nice of her to make everyone aware of my lack of knowledge.
The game continued until in the end it was Oliver who was victorious with the final win 4-3 against Donna. I however did manage to get one right. They were bound to mention something that I knew.
CJ asked who was the one that had a sister who used him for experiments with makeup. I wagered on Toby and was the only one right. I'm not kidding when I say these guys need help.
Once everyone left I climbed into bed prepared for some restless sleep. Unfortunately I couldn't erase the image of Toby running across a campus naked. I wonder if Jed's therapist allows friends to join his sessions?
***SAM***
All I can say is Thank God! I have never been so happy about losing in my entire life. If I had to spend one more night with Toby and Josh I can guarantee that one of them wasn't going to make it off of the island.
All I want to do is have a nice hot shower and buy some underwear. I have been looking forward to this night since I first stepped foot into this nightmare of a game. A nice hotel room to myself complete with a bed and electricity. What more could a man want?
I signed in at the front desk and was waiting at the elevator when Abbey came around the corner. I turned around and pretended not to notice her. The chances of her not noticing me were slim since I was looking at her through the mirror that I turned around to.
"Sam!"
I slowly turned around and put my happy face on. "Abbey," I shrieked and gave her a hug.
"You got the boot I see."
"Yeah. It couldn't have happened at a better time."
"Yeah we heard about Toby and Josh. Leo filled us in."
"Ahh. How is everyone?"
"We're all great. Oh they'll be so happy to see you."
I wanted to cry. "I'll tell you what. I'll give you half hour or so to freshen up and then we can all meet up in the lobby here."
One part of my brain was shouting no. Too bad the part that actually runs my spineless ass replied, "That would be great." Fake smile Sam, fake a smile.
The elevator came and I stepped inside after Abbey. She talked all the way up as we rode to the eighth floor. "What room are you in?"
I glanced down at the card. "Uh, 807."
"That is next to Donna. She's in 806."
Flashed another fake smile. Just swell. "Great. I'll have to stop by and say hello."
"Jed and I are in 805. CJ's in 803 I believe."
I hope she doesn't plan to tell me where everyone is. "Leo's beside CJ I know that and Oliver is in 813." Yep she was.
We got off the elevator and Abbey stopped outside her room. "You're just two doors down sweetie."
I waved my hand. "Thanks Abbey. You're the best." I slipped the card across the lock but it didn't take. I looked over at Abbey who appeared to be waiting for me to enter my room. Come on, work you stupid piece of plastic.
"Sam, is everything alright?"
"Yep. I'm fine Abbey." I tried the lock for a third time and it clicked open. Whew, that was a close one. "I'm in. Stupid cards."
Abbey winked at me. "We'll see you in a bit. I'm going to go and round the gang up."
"I can't wait," I lied to the First Lady. I waved goodbye and entered my room closing and locking the door behind me. I adore the First Lady and I like the people whom I work with. But I had been hoping to finally have some time to myself. So much for hopes.
Twenty seven minutes after my encounter with Abbey and I was on my way to the lobby as promised. I didn't run into anyone in the hallway and when I stepped off the elevator and rounded the corner I spotted them all sitting on the surrounding sofa's.
"Sam," CJ ran up and hugged me.
"CJ, it's good to see you guys." I waved to them.
"Nice to see you again Mr. Seaborn," Bartlet rose from where he was seated and shook my hand. "I understand it's pretty rough there."
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
"Try us," Donna prompted eagerly.
"Sure," I agreed. "But I'd like to get a drink first if you don't mind?"
"That's a good idea," Oliver waved the bartender over. I sat down and we made small talk until our drinks arrived.
I ran my hands through my hair that was still wet. "Mr. President your idea was a noble one. Unfortunately the people that were left behind were not as such."
I had the floor and I didn't know where to start. "They argued over everything. It was like one big power struggle."
"With Toby and Josh I could only imagine," Leo stated.
"Why didn't you and Charlie vote against one of them then?" Oliver asked.
"Charlie won the immunity so obviously I couldn't vote him out. Toby said he wouldn't vote against me but I practically begged him too. I knew that Charlie and Josh were gunning for me and so, here I am."
"Why on earth would you want to be kicked off Sam?"
"Honestly Oliver I had had enough. It was like World War III in there and I just wanted to get the hell out." I chuckled as I thought back to the many fights my sister and I had when we were younger. "And my parents thought they had it rough with my sister and I."
"How about you guys? What have you been up to?" I glanced at each one as they looked at one another. Did I have something on my face?
"Not much," CJ answered motioning to the bartender again.
"Yeah we have just been hanging out," Donna agreed.
"I won a hundred bucks last night. That was fun."
"Really Oliver? What you can gamble here?" I looked around for any indications but there wasn't much from the lobby's point of view.
"Not exactly," Leo said. "CJ made up a game and we all played it last night after I arrived."
"What game?" I was curious to know. I liked most of the games that CJ had taught me in the past.
"Balderdash but only a tad bit different," Oliver answered.
"Ahh," I knew exactly what they had played. "What bad things were said about me?"
They tried to look offended and then they looked confused. "You know something?" Abbey began. "I don't recall anyone saying a word about you."
"You're right Abbey. Sam wasn't mentioned once," Bartlet verified.
"I mean you were picked as the culprit, but in the end nothing." Abbey made a humph sound. "That's a shocker."
"I'm not surprised really. I mean it isn't like I have done many stupid things in my life."
"What about that time you were caught making out with your pillow?" Donna so kindly reminded me.
"Go on," CJ urged. "I hadn't heard about that one."
I awkwardly looked at my watch and gave it a slight shake. "You know what? I should be getting to bed. It's late and I want to get an early start."
"For what?" Bartlet questioned.
"Yeah, it's not like you have plans made already," Leo piped in.
"Well I was going to search out the island and maybe do some shopping." I knew already that I wasn't going to get out of here.
"I suggest we go upstairs and play again."
"In a minute Oliver. I'd like to hear about this pillow first. Donna?"
Donna looked at me apologetically. "Sorry Sam. CJ wants to know and you know how I hate to disappoint." I rolled my eyes at her and heaved a heavy sigh.
"It was while he was in sixth grade. Sam was invited to a party and he knew ahead of time that they were going to be playing spin the bottle. Being the perfectionist that he is, he wanted to be prepared incase it landed on him and he had to kiss a girl."
"Who caught him?" Leo asked waiting in anticipation for this deep dark secret.
"His girlfriend at the time," Donna answered laughing.
"Sam? Why were you making out with a pillow instead of your girlfriend?" Oliver asked me.
"Because," I answered.
"Samuel. Because isn't an answer. Now come on, fess up. We're all friends here."
Go away Abbey I wanted to shout. I didn't reply. "Sam?" Bartlet said my name as if he was concerned.
"Yes Mr. President?" I pretended to not know why he was calling my name out.
"Why were you humping a pillow?"
CJ and Oliver started laughing. Embarrassed I replied, "I wasn't humping it Sir."
"Making out with it Sam isn't much of a difference," he spoke again. CJ had tears welling up in her eyes.
"Why waste a perfectly good chick?" Oliver asked.
"Because!" I practically shouted. I lowered my voice. "Because-because I had sort of a drool problem." There it was out. Here comes the humiliation. It took a few seconds for the answer to sink in. CJ nearly fell off the sofa and Oliver looked as if he was convulsing.
"That's not funny you guys," Leo came to my defense using his stern voice. Then he started laughing as he said, "It's pathetic."
"What kind of pillow was she (beat) I mean it?"
Everyone started laughing even harder at what Oliver had said. "I hope it wasn't foam. I hear they don't return your calls," Abbey said through her laughter.
CJ kicked her foot out as she rolled over onto her side. "I bet it was a down feather, they're less pickier than the firm ones," Leo spat out.
Yuck ,Yuck, Yuck. As if I hadn't heard all these before. Donna had to go and open her big mouth. That's it. Without too much consideration I blurted out. "Did Donna ever tell you about the time she got caught making out with a cardboard cut out of the New Kids on the Block?" Suddenly laughing at me wasn't so much fun anymore.
Donna turned three shades of red and she was soon shaking her head and mouthing the word stop. I continued on. "Oh yeah, and she was caught by none other than a New Kid himself. Only I can't remember which one. Donna?"
All eyes were upon Donna who looked as though she wanted to crawl under a rock. While they began hounding her I quietly slipped away and headed back to my hotel room for some peace and quiet finally.
Maybe that other part of the island wasn't so bad after all. However, had the situation been reversed and it was someone else in my shoes I would be laughing at them too. I just hated that it was me.
Come to think of it, Mary Ellen never did let me kiss her again and I never did go to that party. I was to afraid after she told everyone about me. What I would give to run into that big blabbermouth now. I'd give her a kiss that would knock her stupid pig tails right off!