If A Song Could Get Me You Chapter 3: All For Love, a diagnosis murder fanfic

If A Song Could Get Me You

Disclaimer:

As always, I own nothing.

Rating:

K+

Genre:

Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Pairing:

Steve/Jesse

Lyrics Used:

Lady Antebellum "All For Love"

Author's Note:
Now, since little InaBITCH, couldn't be bothered to leave a signed review for me to reprimand her individually for her childish immature temper tantrum. So, even though I've had this chapter ready to post for a while, now, I decided to post-pone posting it as little InaB's punishment. Ya know, some people have these annoying little things I like to call"A LIFE". Ya know those things where you have to drag your ass outta bed in the morning and got to work...Do your job...Earn a paycheck...Pay your bills...Put food on the table...Yeah, those things. It's so annoying how you have to do that every day...So, forgive me if I've been too busy feeding my family and keeping a roof over our heads and haven't been able to cater to your every whim.

All For Love

'Cause what about the times that you said to me | That I was everything that you'd ever need | How can you just up and walk away | And, look me in the eye and say

You did it all for love | You did it all for love | You did it all for love | You did it all for love

I did it all for love | I did it all for love | I did it all for love | I did it all for love

Love, something you know nothing of | 'Cause if you did, there'd still be an 'us' | I did it all for love

"All right, Mark!" Jesse Travis called out, stepping into the living room of the beach house owned by his friend and mentor-who also happened to be the father of his, now, ex-Mark Sloan. "What'd you wanna..." His voice trailed off as soon as said ex walked through the door before him. "Steve?" He asked, his voice hitching as his heart did the same. He hadn't expected to see him, here. Though, judging by the look on the homicide detective's face, it appeared he hadn't expected to see the younger doctor there, either.

"Jess..." Steve spoke, spooked by seeing his younger ex-lover there. He had been lead to believe that his father had wished to speak with him. "What-um...I mean...What's up? What are you doing here? Not that you're not welcome-you're always welcome, here. I just, um..." Steve sputtered, nervously. Seeing Jesse there, so unexpectedly, was really throwing Steve for a loop.

"Your dad said he wanted to talk to me about something..." Jesse replied, running a hand through his hair, nervously, while silently wondering if he'd been set up.

"Yeah, he told me the same thing..." Steve replied. I should have known. He thought to himself. He knew how prone his father was to meddling in other people's lives. Why should he think he would be any different? If anything, being Mark Sloan's son just made him an easier target.

"You don't think..." Jesse began, timidly, worried that he might embarrass himself if he finished the thought.

"Well, it would certainly seem that way..." Steve admitted, knowing where Jesse was going with this. "I would say we've been set up."

"I guess Amanda was serious when she told me to talk to you..." Jesse mused before his eyes widened with the realization that he'd just said that out loud.

"'Talk to me'?" Steve asked, curiously. "Talk to me about what, Jess?" He asked, curiously.

Jesse sighed heavily as he mentally toyed with the idea of telling Steve why he'd been so hesitant to tell Mark and Amanda-and, the rest of their friends-about their relationship. He's already left me...Really, what harm could it do? What's the worst that could happen? And, I mean, it's not like he doesn't deserve to know...He thought to himself. Finally, drawing a deep breath for courage, Jesse spoke. "She...she came by my apartment the night after we broke up..." One look in the older detective's eyes and Jesse knew that the split had been just as hard on Steve as it had been on him as Steve looked away for a moment before returning his attention to Jesse. "I just...I couldn't take it, anymore. You had already left me and...Well, I couldn't really see what Amanda could do to me that would be any worse than losing you, so...I just...I gave in and I told her. I told her everything." Jesse admitted, hanging his guiltily.

"You told her everything about what, Jess?" To the young doctor's surprise, there was no malice, no ill-will, no resentment in the detective's voice. Just genuine curiosity.

"I told her..." Jesse began, searching for the right words to convey everything he wanted to tell his former lover. "Well, I told her that we'd broken up-that you had left me because...Well, because I was too afraid to tell anyone about our relationship." Pausing for a moment to gather the rest of his courage, Jesse sheepishly admitted in a voice so small and timid, Steve had to strain to hear it. "I told her why I was so afraid...That's...That's why she wanted me to talk to you..."

Steve couldn't believe what he was hearing. Part of him was jealous that Amanda had found out what Jesse was keeping from him before he did. But, another part of him took one look at the expression on his former lover's face and knew that-whatever he had told their friend-it must have been incredibly hard for Jesse to admit to. That part of him ached for the pain written in the young intern's beautiful blue eyes and drove him to step closer to Jesse. Resting a gentle hand on his younger ex-lover's shoulder, Steve spoke gently as he tried to coax Jesse to open up to him. "Jess..." The combination of the hand on his shoulder and the warm, gentle, tone in Steve's voice commanded Jesse's attention as he slowly looked up at his older ex-lover. "What were you so afraid of?"

"I..." Jesse began only to have his voice trail off as his throat constricted. "It's just...I've read these...these news reports about...About what happens to gay cops in the field..." Unable to go on any further, Jesse turned away from Steve and directed his gaze to the floor. He knew Amanda was right-she was always right. And, he knew Steve would know he was being crazy...or stupid...Or both. Both was highly probable.

Suddenly, everything seemed painfully obvious to Steve. Hoh...I'm a jerk...He thought to himself. "Aw, Jess..." He breathed as the full weight of situation finally became too much for him to bear. Closing the small remaining gap between himself and Jesse, Steve quickly gathered the younger man in his arms-the familiar feeling crumbling all of his defenses. "Jess, I'm so sorry..." Steve couldn't have stopped the watery tremble in his voice if he'd tried. The truth was he suddenly felt about an inch tall when he realized that Jesse had only tried to hide their relationship in order to protect him on the job.

Feeling the familiar warmth and safety of Steve's arms around him, Jesse felt the last of his walls crash to the ground in the form of tears streaming freely down his cheeks. "No..." He argued, weakly. "No, Steve, I...I'm sorry..." He choked out, between sobs. "I'm so sorry, Steve. I just...I just love you so much..." Jesse clenched his fists in the front of Steve's shirt, terrified that the man would disappear if he let go. "The thought of something happening to you...It scares the hell outta me, Steve..."

"Shhh..." Steve cooed, gently, desperate to soothe the younger man's fears. "It's okay...It's okay, Jess...I completely understand..." He replied, burying his face in the crook of the young doctor's neck to hide the tears streaming down his own face. "And, I love you, too...Even after everything that's happened...I still love you, Jess. That never changed. And, it never will..." He confessed, hoping that there could still be a chance for them.

Steve's confession stunned Jesse. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. "You...You love me...You still love me?" He breathed, keeping his voice down in case this was all just something his imagination had conjured up. But, Steve didn't miss the hopeful tone in the young intern's voice.

Pulling just far enough away from Jesse to look straight into baby blue eyes he'd missed so much during their time apart as he cradled that sweet, beautiful, innocent face in his hands. "Jesse, I have always loved you. And, I always will."

The firm sincerity in the detective's voice gave Jesse the first solid bit of hope since the moment Steve walked out of his apartment and out of his life. "Do you think...Could you ever...Forgive me?" He asked, hating how vulnerable he felt, right now.

"Jess..." Steve breathed, the slightest traces of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You haven't done anything wrong." He replied, trying to soothe the younger man's fears. "I should have been more patient with you. I should have known you had your reasons."

"I'm so sorry, Steve..." Jesse apologized, yet again. "I should have just told you. I was just so scared that...That one night, I'd be waiting for you to come home from a stake-out only to have some stranger show up, instead, telling me that you'd been killed all because your back-up didn't come..."

"Jess..." Steve waited for Jesse to give him his full attention. Once he finally had it, Steve spoke again. "That's never gonna happen. The cops that I work with, they've all known I was gay from day one. They don't care. It's not an issue."

Nodding slightly, Jesse replied "Yeah, I know...Amanda told me what an idiot I am..."

Lightly grasping Jesse's chin between his thumb and forefinger, Steve gently directed Jesse's gaze directly at him as he spoke. "Jess...You're not an idiot. You were just doing what you thought you had to do to protect someone you love..." He reasoned, hoping to help the young intern in his arms to see reason.

"Yeah, but, in my attempts to protect the man that I love, I ended up hurting him and driving him away, instead..." Jesse countered, defeatedly.

"I'm here, now, aren't I?" Steve countered. When Jesse merely nodded his agreement, Steve simply added "And, I have absolutely no intentions of going anywhere."

Understanding the hidden meaning behind the words, Jesse couldn't help the small smile playing across his face. "You really mean that?" He asked, hopefully.

"I do." Steve breathed before closing the gap between them to capture the young doctor's lips with his own. The kiss started out gentle and tentative before slowly turning more heated and passionate. Finally, once the need for oxygen became too much to ignore, the two men pulled away to rest their foreheads against one another. Staring straight into his younger lover's eyes, Steve spoke "I love you, Jesse."

Smiling his first true smile since their break-up, Jesse replied "I love you, too, Steve. Promise me you'll never let me go?" He hated sounding so vulnerable and insecure. But, he just couldn't help it. He'd already lost Steve once. He wasn't so sure he could survive it, again.

"Jesse Travis..." Steve began, solemnly. "I swear on my life that I will never leave you, ever again. You are my life. If there's one thing I've learned in the time that we were apart, it's that I need you, Jesse. I need so much, it physically hurt to be away from you. It hurt even worse when I would see you out in public...To be so close to you without being able to touch you...To hold you in my arms...I don't think I'd ever could live through that, again. It damn near killed me, this time. I am never letting you get away, ever again." As he sealed his vow with another, more tender, kiss, Steve finally felt like everything would be okay. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew things wouldn't always be easy for the two of them. There would always be obstacles in the way. But, with the man that he loved by his side, Steve Sloan knew there was no challenge he couldn't face. Together, the two of them would always figure it out.

Author's Note:

Oh my lanta...I used to be able to write such good happy endings. What ever happened to me? Oh well. I hope y'all liked this chapter and the story as a whole. Again, don't hate me for taking so long to post this chapter. I've actually had it ready for a while, now. But, as little miss InaB couldn't be bothered to leave a signed review, I couldn't reprimand her individually. Therefore, everyone had to pay the price for her transgression. So, I apologize to anyone who had to sit through my little rant.