Chapter 3
Around noon they stopped for lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall diner where Jacob raised only a few eyebrows for the amount of food he devoured (two cheeseburger combos and half of Bella's chicken sandwich). Back on the road, Bella stopped eyeing road signs every few miles in an attempt to figure out where they were going and laughed to herself every time Jacob hovered secretively over what appeared to be mapquest directions. After every exit or turn, he would routinely fish the crumpled paper out of a pocket in his jeans (always holding it at an angle so that Bella couldn't see), give a furtive glance in Bella's direction before looking down at the paper, then quickly stuff it haphazardly back in his pocket.
After one of these episodes, Bella decided on an approach that was one part curiosity, one part genuine concern. "Hey Jake, you've been driving for a long time. You want me to take over for a little while?"
"Nice try, Bells, but I'm not handing over the directions and ruining the surprise. We've only got another hour or so, so I think I can manage," Jacob revealed. "Tell you what, you keep me entertained, and I'll be fine."
"You sure? I mean, I've never gotten the chance to drive on a roadtrip before. It seems like it should be part of the whole experience, you know?" Bella tried again.
"Sure, sure. I'll even let you drive the whole way back if you want, though it might take an extra day if you do. Maybe we should add another ten years to your age for driving like a grandma. You think?" Bella punched him playfully on the shoulder, causing him to swerve a little.
"If you cause us to wreck now, you'll never get to drive OR find out where I'm taking us."
A thought came to Bella. "Hey, speaking of things I've never done, have you ever played 'Never have I ever?'" The game was a little silly; she and her friends had played it at a handful of sleepovers in middle school. It always involved top secret confessions about crushes they had and movies they watched without permission.
"No, how does it work?"
"Well, you take turns naming things you've never done before. Each time you start out saying 'Never have I ever…' then you fill in the blank with something you've never done. When I was 12, we would put up five fingers. If someone names something you HAVE done, you have to put down one finger. So if someone were to say 'Never have I ever ridden a motorcycle,' we'd both be left with four fingers raised. Of course that's the 12 year old version. I hear it's used as a drinking game sometimes, too."
"Sounds like something my sisters would have played, but I'm game. I'll start. Never have I ever played never have I ever. You can put your finger down now, right?" He grinned.
"That one doesn't count. No direct hits like that. Try again."
"Okay, let's see…never have I ever eaten sushi." Jacob looked somewhat pleased with his sudden creativity.
"Me neither. Never have I ever worn a bikini," she countered.
"Really? Like, never?" He looked surprised.
"Nope. Never. All the extra straps look annoying. Plus I always burn, so it just made more sense to cover more up. I guess that was a stupid one, though. I'm too used to playing this game with girls; it's not like you would have put down a finger for that one! Not unless you've got something to tell me…"
"Well my sisters used to force me to play dress up with them when I was little, but I don't think there was ever a bikini involved."
"Got any pictures to prove it?" Bella asked with a smile.
"No. They suffered a tragic accident and were never seen again," Jacob said proudly. "Every once in a while, when my sisters are home visiting, they'll dig around in old photo albums trying to find them, but they've never been successful."
"You know, just because there are no surviving pictures doesn't mean it never happened. The mental image of you in heels and a tiara is enough for me," Bella laughed a genuine laugh at the thought of a tiny Jacob in drag.
"Change of subject, please. Never have I ever been rollerskating."
"Really? I thought everyone had tried it. I've only been once, but, well, you've seen my balance. It wasn't pretty. You're not missing much." Bella said. "Never have I ever ridden a roller coaster."
Jacob was suspiciously silent for a moment. "Yeah, me neither. Would you, though? After the motorcycles and your desire to go cliff diving, it sounds right up your alley."
"I wouldn't have a year ago, but now? Definitely," Bella said truthfully. She was becoming addicted to reckless behavior and decided a roller coaster might bring Edward back for a few painful seconds. She welcomed it, then decided that she should really stop this nonsense. The Edward she saw in her crazed hallucinations was not Edward at all, and the real Edward would never love her again. But she would still love danger, she decided. Simply because she could. Because even if Edward wasn't there to warn her, that was still something. She had lost everything she thought she wanted, but in it, she had won a few freedoms she never realized she had given up, like being able to ride motorcycles and rollercoasters without a lecture on safety hazards and her fragility. She would revel in the few positive things that Edward's absence had brought, including recklessness, and, come to think of it, Jacob. In that moment, her reckless actions ceased to be a desperate attempt to reach Edward and became something else: a tool for revenge.
Jacob broke the silence. "Well then, maybe you'll enjoy today after all," he said with a grin.
"Is that our top secret destination, then? An amusement park?" Bella asked. Jacob couldn't read her response, so he resigned himself to simply asking how she felt.
"Yeah. Is that okay with you?" He looked guarded. Bella could tell he really wanted her to say yes. And she could, because it was the truth.
"Yes! Thank you for doing this for me, really." She added with a grin, "Never have I ever had a best friend as awesome as you."
He took the compliment as a double-edged sword. Half knighted him, and half pierced his heart. "Yeah, me neither, Bells. I'm glad you're happy; you deserve a day of happy."
"I think we both do," she amended.
Ahead, a building with a tacky hot-pink awning came into view. Its fluorescent sign boasted 'Xtreme Xotic Xcellence.'
"Hey, Bells. Never have I ever been into a shop like THAT!"
"Let's add that to my list of 'Never will I ever,' okay?" Bella chided.
"Point taken. I was just joking, anyway. I mean, not joking about never going to one of those places, but joking about wanting to go there. Not that I'm afraid to go in there or wouldn't go in there, I mean….ah heck. I wasn't trying to say we should go, that's all." He turned a little red and regretted ever bringing it up. What, had he expected Bella to say 'Hey, let's check it out?' And even if she had, would he have had the guts to go inside? Probably not.
"You know, I think we're losing. All of those questions, and only one of us has put down one finger. I think we need to get out more," observed Bella.
"That's what today is for. Getting out, doing new things. We can check roadtrip off the list, and soon we can check off rollercoasters, too."
"I've also never been kidnapped until today. There's another," Bella joked, then realized just how much she had been laughing in the last few hours. She had laughed more today than she could remember laughing since, well, ever. Even Edward didn't make her laugh this much; he was always more serious, stoic even. It was nice to let loose and laugh.
Jacob had realized how much Bella was laughing and smiling, too. Just seeing her so happy made him feel ecstatic. Bella was actually having fun, and he was the reason. Maybe she could start to let go of that bloodsucker after all. He knew it would take time, but he hoped he could speed up the process, hoped she might fall for him somewhere along the way. He knew that journey would take longer, though, if he were lucky enough at all. The way she occasionally stared off with that distant look, or the way she still couldn't mention any of the Cullen's by name told him she was still grieving. Still, he hadn't seen her fold her arms across her stomach, and that was a small victory. She was loosening up, slowly letting go whether she knew it or not.