It had been an entire week since Dobie began taking the fake pills, and Zelda felt as if her head would explode. The girls still flocked around him, laughing at jokes that were nowhere close to being humorous, while Dobie was becoming more insufferable each day. He had brushed off Maynard, citing that he needed to find someone else to entertain him since he was much too busy now. Kate was furious with him for his constant criticism of Chatsworth.
"Look, he's my cousin; I can say whatever I want about him, but you cannot! And right now, Dobie Gillis, you have crossed the line!" she had yelled in the hallway of school, not caring who heard her.
But now Zelda was growing fed up over Dobie's newfound ego and his insufferable attempts at humor while drooling over the attention. As she started her walk to school, she spotted Maynard, walking alone and looking miserable. "Hiya, Maynard. You feeling betrayed, too?"
"I just don't get it. Like what's so special in those special pills? If Dobie wanted more confidence, he like sure got some and more. Now, he's just as low-down and stuck-up like Chatsworth Osborne, Jr."
Zelda shook her head. "I don't know what went wrong. Kate and I made sure we…," she trailed off, not wanting to say the rest.
"Like you and Kate did what?"
Zelda contemplated for a moment before sighing. "Alright, Maynard. But you can't tell Dobie anything I'm about to tell you, okay? Promise?"
"Cross my heart and like hope to—please don't like make me say the last part."
"You don't have to say the last part, Maynard," she told him.
"Good, cause I like forgot the last part," he sighed with relief. "So spill it, small girl."
"Kate and I found the pills, so we switched them out with breath mints. He never took a single pill. But if he's only been taking mints, then how come he's no longer the Dobie we love and hold dear?"
"So that explains why his breath is all frosty-like. Good work."
Zelda shook her head again. "Not good enough. Since he is convinced that he is taking the actual medicine, maybe he is also convinced that it's working. Maynard, we gotta find a way to get him to stop taking them; mints or no mints. Otherwise, we may lose Dobie for good."
Kate was on her way out of Osborne Manor when she noticed that Chatsworth's little blue sports car was still parked in the drive. "I wonder what's keeping him?" she asked aloud, turning back to go inside. As soon as she saw Trembly, their butler, she stopped him. "Trembly, have you seen Chats this morning?"
"No, Miss Kate, I'm afraid I have not. Would you like me to fetch him for you?"
"No, that's alright. I'll…fetch him, myself," she grinned before dashing upstairs towards his room.
"Chatsworth, we're going to be dreadfully late," she called as she gently rapped on his door.
"Mmmm…" was the only reply. Was Chatsworth growling at her?
"Cousin of mine, come on now; it's time for school," she sang, opening his door.
Suddenly, she let out a gasp when she saw Chatsworth, still in his pajamas, doubled over in bed, clutching his stomach. "Ohhhhh," he moaned.
"Chatsworth, what's the matter? Are you ill?" she asked, quickly running over and putting her hand on his forehead. "No fever," she mumbled.
"Dreadfully ill, I'm afraid. I have the worst stomachache since I raided one of our four refrigerators last year and accidentally ate months old caviar. Oh, Katie-Cuz, you'll just have to go to school without me-ohh."
"Let me take care of you, Chats. I'll stay home and bring you whatever you need," she offered, trying not to let worry consume her. She had never seen Chatsworth act this way.
"Thank you, Katie-Cuz, but really; you go and just leave me here. I'll be fine," he grunted, lying back down and beginning to moan again. "If I desire for anything, I can ring for Mumsy or Trembly."
"Chats, you're not faking a stomachache because of Dobie, are you? You really shouldn't let him get to you like that—"
Chatsworth sat up quickly, but instantly grabbed his stomach. "Now surely you jest! There is absolutely no way I am letting Gillis baby get the upper hand. I swore my revenge and I meant every last word. Now, please, Katie baby; just leave me be."
Kate looked at him one last time and noticed he was pale and sweating. "Okay, but I'll come by and check on you at lunch," she told him before leaving and closing the door. Chatsworth acted sick, and even looked sick, but was he really that ill? If I come home and find him dancing the mambo or playing polo, I'll throttle that skinny Osborne neck of his!