Until, until what? There is no until. Yeah right…..

It was exactly one week since the incident, she hadn't let him leave the house without someone with him, and if he was out of her sight for more than 10 minutes she got worried and went to find him. It was just like when she was his sober companion, always worried about him, always wanting to know if he was alright. She didn't want this feeling, he had practically broken her heart but she couldn't help it, she loved him and she cared.

It was getting easier to admit, that she loved him, to herself, she even told Emily who promised to keep it a secret, but she wasn't ready to tell him. Well sometimes you just gotta spit it out, like ripping off a bandage. Too bad it was harder than that.

Sherlock had become sober enough to think about what happened that night, he doesn't remember past a stupid needle in his arm. Alfredo must have found him and taken him home, maybe he found his own way home, god hope not. He decided to check the security cameras, there he was with Joan, wait what did he just say, GOD WHAT DID HE JUST DO! He kissed her; Sherlock Holmes had actually kissed Joan Watson. He was so happy until she pulled away, she said she wanted to, good GREAT, but it wasn't him! Part of him had just died, she didn't believe him, he over her and he had told her but those stupid ass drugs made her think he didn't.

Hold on, does this mean she loves me, no no it can't be, why would she love a stupid drug addict who is always putting her in danger? Oh who cares why, she loves me, and she loves me. I have to tell her about how I feel, about how I never meant to hurt her or scare her or even touch the drugs. I must find her, wait I hear her footsteps, go let this go well.

"Sherlock?" she sounded like a little girl looking for her mum.

"Joan, Joan I'm down here. We need to talk" he didn't want to wait for her, he nearly ran her over on the stairs. He picked her up, hugged her spinning on the stairs, needless to say she was very happy when he did this.

"Sherlock put me down, we need to talk" she was giggling now and smiling, Sherlock thought about how beautiful she was when he saw her smile. He put her down, and was smiling himself.

"What was that about?" she was still smiling.

"I'm just really, really happy to be with you again" she blushed, he was holding her close to him, arms wrapped around her, until he grabbed his hand and pulled him upstairs. They sat down on the sofa and Sherlock knew what this was going to be about. The redness of her checks was gone and she looked very serious, his smile faded as well.

"You know what happened last week, don't you" she sounded almost broken talking about it.

"I... um... watched the houses security cameras" he pointed to the few places around the room, where he had hidden them. She looked away over her shoulder.

"Right, I have to say I'm disappointed in you" he felt his heart drop.

"But" but, BUT WHAT JOAN. "It seems that it's not entirely your fault" she was chocked, barley able to get the words out. Sherlock couldn't believe it; she blamed herself for what happened.

"I'm so sorry, Sherlock" tears welled up in her Sherlock couldn't believe it; she blamed herself for what happened.

"I'm so sorry, Sherlock" tears welled up in her eyes, she didn't want him to see, she was meant to be his strong partner, she wasn't allowed to cry. Sherlock put his hand on her shoulder trying to get her to look at him; he wasn't exactly thinking at this point, he just didn't want her to cry.

"No, no Watson, don't just don't, please Watson it's not your fault" he was holding her hands now, kneeling in front of her. "Don't cry, don't blame yourself, it's not your fault." She looked at him, eyes open clinging onto his every word.

"Sherlock, I should have noticed something was wrong with you, but I didn't, I'm a terrible partner" she looked down trying to withhold tears.

" no you're not, you're an amazing partner, and a great friend" she didn't believe him "ok so maybe you can be bossy and controlling and maybe you're not always there, but who can be everywhere at once, right?" he shouldn't have said that. She slapped him, hard enough to make him stagger back and let go of her.

"You're an ass" ok she was angry, understandable, Sherlock had tripped over and banged his head, holding his hand to try and cover the blood. She saw straight through it and rushed next to him to help.

"I'm sorry Sherlock, I didn't mean to… I was just angry, sorry Sherlock, I'm so sorry" she sounded like she was crying again, tending to his wound like she would when she was a doctor, being careful not to hurt him more. Half an hour later, he had a bandage on the back of his head and they were just sitting there on the sofa, awkward silence filled the air, and Sherlock just had to break it.

"I know what happened that night, the way we just sat there, looking at each other and I t almost looked perfect" she looked up at him.

"But I had to ruin it, I'm sorry"

She let out a small chuckle, "we apologise to each other way too much, I forgive you" she looked back down at her hands, trying to get out a question she so despretly wanted to ask. He turned to face her, with one knee on the sofa.

"Let it out Joan" he used her first name "what is it?" she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and, let it out.

"Ever since what happened, I couldn't get that one second kiss out my head" she looked up at him. "And what you said, I have to know Sherlock, do you love me?" he just smiled, he knew what answer she wanted, and for once he could give it. He leaned in; she didn't notice with her eyes closed, only when she had opened them, he was an inch from her face. So scared of how she may react, he pushed her down against the sofa, holding her back and restricting movement, faces still so close. She didn't try to break free.

"My dear Watson, ever since I laid eyes on you" he leaned down and kissed her ever so gently, it was like they were the only ones in the world. When he finally pulled away, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I love you, too" she said. They laid there, just smiling at each other for what seemed like forever, the Joan lifted her head to his ear and whispered "what are you waiting for"