3. Free
Kaiba slammed the door behind him, furious. Who the hell did Wheeler think he was? He—
"Well, that was quite the row."
He stopped short. Across the room stood Sara, watching him with an expression that hovered between analytical and amused. He clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms. "Were you listening to us?"
She put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "Don't be daft! You were outside. How could I be listening? But I could hardly miss the fact that you practically chucked him off the sodding terrace. You were standing in front of a rather large window, in case you hadn't noticed."
Kaiba took a breath, trying to get his racing heart back under control. She'd only seen them through the window; she hadn't actually heard what they'd been arguing about. "Yeah, well, Wheeler's an idiot. Every day I don't toss him off a balcony is a testament to my patience."
"Oh, right, patience of a saint, you have." She cocked her head. "I think I've finally worked out what your problem with him is."
"I just told you what my problem with him is: he's an idiot."
"No, your problem with him is that he's not an idiot, and you need him to be."
Kaiba crossed his arms. "You wanna explain that in a way that actually makes sense?"
She grinned, shaking her head. "You spend all this time and energy making sure you are an absolute success, that you're the best at everything you do—your business, dueling…. The fact that there is a duelist better than you eats away at you, but it's also a challenge that drives you. You will be the best someday. But Joey, he threatens your worldview. He's not wealthy, not a businessman, not particularly brilliant or successful by any measure you use. He doesn't even have the decency to be bothered by the fact that he can't beat his own best friend at Duel Monsters."
"Right. He's a loser. If this is your big epiphany, I could've saved you some time."
"No, that's not it at all, don't you see? It's his refusal to be a 'loser' that gets under your skin. It's the fact that he has the gall to live his life with none of the things that are so important to you, and still find it fulfilling. He has a passion and an exuberance that simply do not conform to your concept of what a 'loser' should be. If he behaved the way a failure ought, you could just write him off, but he doesn't, and it challenges everything you believe about yourself. Because if Joey Wheeler isn't a failure, if he can be—dare I say it?—successful without having obtained a single thing you've decided is necessary to be a success, then what does it say about you and everything you've built your life on?"
Now it was Kaiba's turn to roll his eyes. "Do I have 'please inflict me with your pop psychology' written on my forehead today?"
"No, but turnabout is fair play."
He crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow at her. "Excuse me?"
"You told me that I attack you when I'm feeling uncomfortable with myself."
"That wasn't pop psychology, it was an observation. And it begs the question, why are you feeling uncomfortable with yourself now?"
She let out a huff of air. "I'm not attacking you, Seto. Quite the opposite, actually. I just…." She exhaled again, looking frustrated as she searched for what to say. "I'm not saying this to you because I don't think you're successful. Anyone with half a brain can see that you are a wildly successful man. But you need to know that it's not for the reasons you think. The wealth, the Duel Monsters titles, being the youngest, the brightest, the very best at everything you undertake, all of that is just trappings. As laudable as those accomplishments are, they aren't what matters. They aren't what make you a…." She faltered, then looked down, as if embarrassed.
"What?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him despite himself.
She looked up at him again, brushing a wayward stand of hair away from her eyes. "You're a good man, Seto. For some reason you seem to think that's a weakness, so you pretend you're not, but it isn't. It's a strength. And the greatest proof that you're a good man? Your greatest success? It's Mokuba."
This brought him up short. "Mokuba?"
"Everything you've done—the money, the takeover from your fa—I mean, your stepfather—it was all for Mokuba. And look at him! He is a happy, fairly well-adjusted young man, and this despite all the madness and the monsters and all of it! You did that, Seto. And Joey Wheeler can never threaten that, do you understand? The fact that he can be happy and love his life doesn't speak one way or another to the value of your life, because you don't need all the trappings any more than he does. All you need—all you've ever needed—is Mokuba."
Wheeler's comparison of his own relationship with his sister came to Kaiba's mind, and he pushed it away in annoyance. I am not like him. But that wasn't really what Sara was getting at, and he didn't know what to say to her. Normally, he would brush off any attempt to attribute something he'd done to a motive other than strategic value, but he couldn't brush this off. She wasn't wrong, not exactly, even if the stuff about his issues with Wheeler were completely off base. Mokuba was indeed the center of his life, though perhaps not to the extent she implied. She seemed to need to believe this was all that really mattered to him, that the other things were a means to that particular end, nothing more. And in the very deepest recesses of his heart, he wanted her to think well of him.
Everyone knows you care about this girl.
He clenched his fists again. Damn Joey Wheeler and his idiotic theories!
When he didn't say anything, Sara looked down again, sheepish once more. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's none of my business. You've made it clear that we… that whatever we had… was not a relationship as such. I shouldn't pretend to know you better than I do."
He frowned. "I've made it clear? You're the one who ran away."
Her head jerked up. "You didn't exactly stop me."
"No, I didn't."
She slumped her shoulders, defeated. "You had no reason to, I suppose."
"You said you couldn't be a part of 'this insanity.' I can relate to that."
"Fat lot of good that did me." She shook her head with a rueful chuckle. "The phrase 'out of the frying pan and into the fire' springs to mind. I don't know what to make of everything I saw yesterday. Of what I did, getting that dragon of yours to defend… oh, bugger. I don't even want to think who that was she defended. It's too much to take in."
He let out a breath. "Sara, I'm sorry you got dragged into this. I really am."
She arched an eyebrow at him. "Did I hear that correctly? An apology, from Seto Kaiba?"
"That wasn't an apology. It's not my fault you got involved. But I'm sorry nevertheless."
"I see." She was giving him one of those half-smirks that he found both annoying and extremely appealing. It faded after a moment, and there was a long pause before she took in a deep breath, as if fortifying herself. "Yugi asked me to transfer to Berkeley and study with him. Thinks I should learn more about… all of it, I suppose. And having both lost our mentors…."
His eyes widened. Berkeley… just across the bay. "Will you?"
"I… no. I don't think I'm ready for that. A part of me wants to just chuck the whole thing and go back to Chinese studies or… I don't know. Wait tables in a pub. Anything but this. I based my entire career on something I don't understand and on a mentor who turned out to be a complete lunatic. I think… I need time to regroup, to work out what I really want to do next. I've decided to go back to England, at least for the semester. With some time and space, maybe I'll work out how much of this I want to understand."
He swallowed his disappointment. "Then you still want no part of any of it?"
She replied without hesitation. "Bloody right, I don't. I just wish I could be free from the whole mess."
That answer hurt more than he cared to admit. His eyes downcast, he nodded in acceptance.
"Don't you?"
He looked up again, then snorted. "Every day of my life for as long as I've known Yugi Mutou."
"And yet, here we are." She sighed. "Seto, if you hate this so much, why do you get involved? Why did you come here, to Egypt? Why did you… do whatever it is you lot did back there."
"I don't 'get involved' any more than you did. I get dragged in because someone goes after me, and I won't stand by while someone attacks my company or my brother or—" He stopped short, unwilling to finish.
"Or?" She looked…anxious? Hopeful? What was she expecting from him? She toyed with the strand of faux pearls at her throat, her blue eyes, white hair, and pail skin looking unnaturally bright in contrast to her black funeral dress. It was disconcerting how the somber attire somehow made her simultaneously look even more like Kisara, and nothing like her at all.
What am I doing? Who is she to me? He grunted in irritation. "Or nothing. He went after my company. He almost killed Mokuba. What more reason do I need?"
"Right, then." There was a slight frost to her voice that wasn't there before. "I should be going. I really need to get back to Cairo tomorrow."
"Sara—" He stopped, not sure what he wanted to say to her. He just knew he didn't want her to go. "Exactly how much space do you need?"
She looked puzzled. "Excuse me?"
"You said you're going to England to get time and space, but how much time and space? If I were to have business in London in the near future, could I see you?"
Her eyebrows went up in surprise. "I thought we agreed this whole thing was insane." She gave him a troubled look. "Is it even me you want to see? Or is it her?"
He shifted his jaw, turning the question back on her. "And if you said yes, would it be to me or to him?"
She closed her eyes. "I don't really know."
"Neither do I."
"Which is exactly why this is madness." She opened her eyes. "Where does that leave us, Seto, if we can't even answer that?"
"I don't know." He met her eye, however, determined not to let it go at that. "But it seems to me we can only find the answer if we address the question."
She considered this a moment, then smirked at him. "Maybe you're more Humphrey Bogart than I thought."
"What?" He blinked in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean?"
She laughed, her face lighting up in a way that made it hard for him to remember exactly why any of it was such a problem. "It means I would like it if you came to see me in England, Seto. I would like that very much."
Joey sat huddled on the lounge chair Kaiba had vacated, wishing he were wearing something warmer than just his suit jacket. The temperature had dipped quickly once the sun had gone down, and the jacket afforded little protection against the brisk night air. He would've killed for some hot chocolate or one of those patio heaters right about now. Or better yet, to just be able to go inside. But he was trapped. After Kaiba had stormed off, Joey had followed after, intending to go inside and continue his search for Mai. But when he got to the door, he saw Kaiba and Sara engaged in a somewhat tense conversation in the sitting room. Not wanting to interrupt them, he'd looked for another way back inside, but everything else was locked, so he'd retreated to the lounge chair to wait Kaiba and Sara out.
"There you are!"
Joey looked up to see Mai standing in the doorway.
"Here I am? You're the one who disappeared. I've been looking all over for you!"
"Yeah, I can see you're looking really hard." She smirked. "What are you doing out here? It's kinda nippy, don't you think?"
He swung his legs over the side of the lounge chair and stood up, giving her a salacious grin. "Guess you'll just have to come over here and warm me up."
She rolled her eyes, but walked up to him and slipped her arms around his waist under his jacket as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She felt warm as she pressed against him, and he breathed in the scent of her favorite exotic perfume, its familiarity inviting. But everything else about her tonight was foreign. Her black funeral dress had a much higher neckline than anything he'd ever seen her in, and the skirt went well past her knees. Her hair, which she normally wore loose and tousled, was swept up and clipped into a tight knot at the back of her head. She did have on the tall, black, spiked-heel boots she'd recently bought on Rodeo Drive, but without the miniskirt to set them off, they did nothing to counteract the severity of the rest of her outfit. Not that she didn't look gorgeous—he was pretty sure she'd look gorgeous in a burlap sack—but it was just not Mai.
She leaned in and kissed him, then pulled back, her nose wrinkled. "You're like ice! What are you doing out here, anyway?"
He gave a rueful shake of his head. "I got stuck out here. I came out looking for you, but found Kaiba instead. He was moping over Sara because he's a big jerk who can't admit he likes her, so I told him to stop being an idiot and just go after her. He threw a hissy fit and stalked off, but when I went to go inside to look for you, there he was with Sara. I didn't want to interrupt them, so I just stayed out here."
"Well, they're not there now, so—" She stopped and arched an eyebrow at him. "Wait. Did you just say you did something nice for Kaiba? Who are you, and what have you done with Joey?"
"I know. It makes me feel all dirty inside." He grimaced and gave a dramatic shudder.
"So what brought on this sudden attack of maturity?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. I just couldn't stand watching him screw himself over. I mean, he's a big, fathead jerk and all that, but he's our big, fathead jerk, you know? Besides, it's always a pleasure telling him he's being stupid."
"Okay, there's the Joey I know."
He grinned at her. "So how about you? Where you been since dinner?"
"I had to make a phone call."
"To who? Everyone we know is here."
She gave him a strange look. "Valon, actually. I figured since he was the one who gave us the name 'Monarch,' the least I could do was tell him we got the guy."
"And?" He could hear in her voice there was more to it than that.
"And he won the tournament in Tahiti. Oh, and I got to wake him up again. There's a twelve-hour time difference between Egypt and Tahiti."
He took her chin in his hand. "Mai."
She lowered her eyes, looking somewhere in the vicinity of his collarbone. "I guess I was feeling a little guilty. I… was kinda hard on him in London, even after I figured he probably didn't have anything to do with the nightmares or what happened to Yugi."
"He was the one who dragged you into the whole Orichalcos mess," Joey pointed out, his arm encircling her once more.
"No, I only have myself to blame for that." She looked up at him. "Valon, he was a victim of Dartz's manipulations, same as I was."
"Okay, but why the guilt trip now? You weren't feeling this way when we saw him in Tahiti."
"I dunno. Probably because… well, I had the dream again last night. Not the Orichalcos duel. The hourglass one."
Joey tried to swallow, but it was difficult because his heart had suddenly relocated to the middle of his throat. "Say what? I thought after that nightmare duel… and then we beat Ramesses…. Why didn't you wake me, or—?"
"Don't get your shorts in a knot, Wheeler." She gave him a look of supreme annoyance, but then her face softened into a smile. "This time, it was a good thing."
He frowned. "How do you figure?"
"Because when you guys all came out to the beach below me? This time, when I called for you, you heard me."
He raised his eyebrows. "We did?"
"Mm hm. And you all came to help me. You, Serenity, Yugi, Téa, Duke, Tristan…. You all promised to free me, whatever it took."
"And did we?" he asked, pulling her a little closer.
She shook her head. "You didn't have to. Because as soon as I knew you were there, that I wasn't alone, I realized that it wasn't Marik who made the hourglass prison. It was me. And as soon as I knew that I was responsible for my own prison, I was free."
He sighed, a warm feeling of relief washing over him. "Wow. That sounds kinda huge. So what happened after that?"
She smiled up at him with a look that made him feel like he might melt into a pool at her feet. Slowly, she started swaying back and forth, guiding him into something like a slow waltz. "You and I danced to no music on a cliff above the ocean."
He made a face, wrinkling his nose in a mock grimace. "That's just way too sappy. Who would ever do something so lame?"
"No one I know." She tightened her arms around him and kissed him again, a long, slow kiss that made it hard for him to breathe even after she pulled back. "I love you, Joey Wheeler."
His eyes widened. "Did you just say that out loud?"
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"Wow. I like the way that sounded. Say it again."
"Don't push your luck, lamebrain."
"I dunno, I'm feeling pretty lucky." He reached up and toyed with the clip holding up her hair. "Not that you aren't incredibly hot, but this new look isn't part of the whole new attitude, is it?"
She made another face. "Oh, please. I feel like a pilgrim in this getup. I just wanted to make sure I did the whole Japanese wake thing right."
"You did. It's perfect, but it's not you." He tugged at the clip, pulling it out so that her hair tumbled down, loose over her shoulders. He nodded. "Much better. You look—"
"Free?"
He smiled. "Yeah. You look free."