WHO ARE YOU CHAPTER 2 FIRST IMPRESSIONS

"Damn!" Cameron exclaimed as the Marines first, escorted him to his stateroom and later, to the lounge where he met up with his ECO, , Lieutenant Valera Ellis, of the Colonial Fleet. "Gotta say one thing about these people—they know how to travel!"

"Tell me about it!" Valera laughed, "I don't think that even one of those new Rising Star liners I've heard of are nicer than this!"

"Looks are all well and good." Cameron remarked in a snide tone, "But it won't last thirty seconds against a Cylon raider."

"Yeah, you'd think this 'Contessa' would be smart enough to go in a ship that can really fight. Looks like she's going for a pleasure cruise instead of a reconnaissance mission."

"Oh...don't worry..." A sensuous voice called out, "This girl can fight if she has to...and so can my ship."

Turning about rapidly, the young Gemonese raptor pilot looked on, mouth agape as their host, Contessa Alessandra Orsini, wearing a black evening gown with diamond necklace and tiara, greeted them.

"Welcome aboard!" She proclaimed proudly as she guided the two Colonials into a spacious room appointed with a luxurious white and gold loveseat, chairs, and a glass topped mahogany wood coffee table with a floral centerpiece and what looked to Speedball like a humidor. On one side of the room stood a fully stocked bar and on the other, a small piano. On the wall were also a variety of portraits and posters, some of an erotic nature, others of nature scenes from a variety of exotic worlds, except for three holophotos: one of a distinguished couple with Alessandra in the middle, another of a roguish looking man with auburn hair, a handsome face, blue eyes, and a thin mustache. The last photograph was of Alessandra with a young attractive man wearing a blue uniform coat with two gold stripes on the sleeve and white slacks.

At once noticing her guests' curiosity, the contessa smiled, "The first photo is my mother and father with me. The second one is my 'Uncle Devon'—he's the one who got me in the spy game. The last photo..." she paused for a moment, closing her eyes as if trying to hold back tears before finally continuing with a sigh, "...is Eric. He...was...a special friend. He was killed when his cruiser ran into a raider fleet. The cruiser turned the raiders back—but he was killed when the gunnery section he commanded was hit. He made sure every being in his section..." she declared proudly, "...made it out safely. There wasn't enough time for him to get out before the screens failed and the only way he could close the bulkhead door was from his end...he was awarded the Imperial Star posthumously."

After several moments of silence, Cameron ventured cautiously, "I'm sorry...guess you have problems too."

"Yeah..." Alessandra replied glumly as she made her way to the bar. "I'm for a drink...how about you two? Sit down..." the lovely blonde spy urged as she gestured at the loveseat. "Settling in ok?"

Nodding his head as he sipped his drink, Cameron responded. "It's a bit overwhelming—this ship...our quarters..."

"I understand." Alessandra sympathized as she offered cigarettes and cigars to her guests, who promptly refused with shakes of their heads. Taking out her cigarette holder, the contessa placed a cigarette in it and lit it into life. "Uncle Devon chose the Elysia for me as a present after I graduated Intelligence School. Almost the same model as his ship—but with a few more added features." She smirked as she called out, "Bridgette? Can you put on some jazz for us? I'm thinking Johnny Griffin would be nice right about now."

"Sure thing, Sandi..." A sultry female voice responded.

As the sounds of All the Things You Are filled the lounge, Cameron inquired as he looked about the lounge, "Who's Bridgette?"

"Drink your drinks." Alessandra smiled, "So...what do you think of the Empire from what little you've seen so far?"

"Well...other than your continued insistence that we're lost colonies of yours instead of the truth..." Cameron began, but was quickly cut off by Valera.

"That you're actually our long lost brothers and sisters..."

"You mean that Thirteenth Tribe nonsense?" Alessandra chuckled. "Look, I don't want to bore you with the entire history of humanity from Olduvai Gorge to the stars, but suffice it to say that there's plenty of archaeological and historical evidence to support me. You're welcome to analyze the Elysia's historical databases—Uncle Devon made sure it's quite complete—he's something of an amateur historian, as am I. But, I think I can help you out with any questions you might have. So...what do you want to know?"

"I guess first..." Cameron opened the discussion, "How long has the Empire been around?"

"A fair question." Alessandra smiled, thankful that the Colonial pilot had asked that question as she knew that a history lesson and their drinks would further relax the two humans. "We've actually been a star-faring people for about a thousand years—give or take a few years. The Empire itself has been around for about four hundred years."

"So...when did your civilization get started?" Cameron further inquired.

"Well..." Alessandra replied, warming to the topic, "I guess you could say it began with the Collapse."

"Collapse?" Valera interjected.

"Yeah." Alessandra nodded her head as she took a drag from her cigarette and slowly exhaled. "Around 2020, Old Calendar Reckoning, all the major powers on Earth: the United States, China, the European Union, Japan, Russia, India, all collapsed at roughly the same time due to a combination of socioeconomic, cultural, and political factors. When the major powers collapsed, they took everyone else with them into a Dark Age. That pretty much marked the end of Western Civilization—as well as any other civilization calling itself something during that period."

"How did it begin?" Cameron inquired.

"Depends on which history book you read." Alessandra chuckled. "Some say it was when the United States collapsed due to its internal problems. Others put the blame on the European Union, still others on China and others on India and Pakistan after they had their little nuclear party, or Russia or Iran or Israel. Truth is, we're not completely sure. Records from that era are fragmentary at best—the collapse was that complete."

"Damn." Valera gasped. "So...how much was lost."

"Let's see..." Alessandra took a sip from her glass before continuing. "The population pre-Collapse was approaching seven billion. A hundred years later, we estimate human population to have fallen to around two and a half billion."

"Nearly two thirds..." Cameron gasped.

"Yeah." Alessandra grimly affirmed as she took another drag from her cigarette. "Add to that the destruction or disappearance of many works of art and literature: the Sistine Chapel, the Dome of the Rock Mosque, the Taj Mahal, Saint Sophia's, the Louvre and most of its works of art, the Smithsonian and the loss of its treasures, and I can go on. Much of what you see here..." She gestured at the paintings and sculptures in her lounge, "Are reproductions of reproductions of reproductions. The originals have long since vanished." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "Anyway, the next three hundred years or so after the Dark Age we call the Rebuilding. Basically, we tried to learn from our mistakes—didn't always succeed though as we'd discover more than once during the Rebuilding and again during the Twilight when the Confederation fell and was replaced by the Empire. One of the big things we learned that stuck with us though was to not put all our eggs in one basket. We realized that all it would take would be one asteroid or another Collapse or a super volcano going boom and humanity could become extinct on Terra. As a result, we began colonizing first Luna and then the planets in our Solar System. Roughly in the middle of the Rebuilding, we discovered both fusion power and how to program AI's. Shortly after that, the Solar Confederation Senate passed the Articles of Sentience granting full rights to AI's after Corona III won her civil rights suit in the Confederation Supreme Court."

Pausing to catch her breath, Alessandra flashed a grin, "And that's enough history for today. If you're interested in reading more, you're free to check."

"Wait..." Valera interrupted. "You mean to say that an AI sued in court for its civil rights and won?!"

"Yes." Alessandra replied, "She did. And that set an important precedent that has governed organic-AI relations to this day. We' didn't take the same path you did. AI's have been a part of our culture for centuries..." ignoring both Colonials' snort of disbelief, the blonde spy continued, "...and during that entire period, we have not had a single AI revolt. Not during the period of the Rebuilding, the Dispersal, the Confederation, or the Empire. Oh...there's been the odd mad or criminal AI...but you get those in any sentient population."

"Yeah..." Cameron replied with a snort, "...you people give them equal rights and everything." Shaking his head, he declared, "You have no idea what sort of mess you're letting yourself in for."

Alessandra then admonished, "You might want to stop and think for a moment—that by treating our AIs with respect that maybe we're on to something?" Seeing the skeptical looks the two Colonials were giving her, Alessandra frowned, "Well...you better get used to it. Treating AIs with respect, that is. Let me freshen up your drinks." Alessandra offered as she refilled her guests' glasses. "Because you're going to want to be relaxed when you hear the next bit of news I'm going to lay on you. Let me introduce you to Bridgette. Bridgette? You can come in now!"

The holographic image of a beautiful young woman with short dark hair and wearing an evening gown with the left shoulder bare appeared. "Hello." The mischievous AI flashed a wicked grin at the two Colonials sitting sullen on the couch. "I'm Bridgette...well...really just a holographic representation. Actually..." the image shrugged, "I'm pretty much the main computer of the ship."

"You're an AI." Cameron growled.

"Yep." Bridgette replied, maintaining her smile. "I was brought online about...oh...twenty years ago."

Shaking her head, Valera snorted, "So...you're the contessa's toy computer..."

"I'm not Sandi's anything—I'm not her slave, I'm not her toy, I'm not her computer. I'm not anything except her friend!" Bridgette snapped back. "I'm with Sandi because I want to be. I've known her for ten years—ever since she was found."

"Found?" Valera interrupted. "What do you mean—found?"

"That's the second thing we need to talk about..." Alessandra replied, taking over for her currently irate AI partner. "You see... I was found in an escape pod roughly in the same area of space you jumped in from about ten years ago..."

"Wait a minute..." Cameron interrupted, his heart racing with anticipation, "Are you saying that you think you might be a Colonial?"

"Could be..." Valera chimed in. "Your ship might have been destroyed in a misjump like what we went through only a lot worse, and you were ejected in a life pod."

"No." Alessandra answered back. "I think it's safe to say I'm not a Colonial. You see..." she said as she took a deep breath, her hand moving slowly nearer to the holstered needle gun as Bridgette quietly placed the lounge's interior defense systems on alert, "...I'm an AI as well...at least partially."

"Godsdamned Cylon trick!" Ripper shouted as she and her partner leaped from their seats, her fists balled, "Gotta be! We've been had, Speedball!"

Her hand moving swiftly as the two Colonials lunged towards her, the contessa drew her needle-gun, aiming it at them as Bridgette targeted the two officers with much more lethal plasma turrets that had slid into position on her silent orders. "I'd suggest you sit back down—now!" The Terran agent warned. "Besides this, there are at least two plasma turrets pointed at you."

Ignoring the contessa's warning, Ripper lunged forward, her face twisted with rage as she screamed, "You bastards killed my friends...my family...if it's the last thing I do..."

Calmly and coolly, Alessandra shook her head slightly at Bridgette as she fired her needle-gun, the projectile striking the young Colonial woman in her neck. Dodging the Colonial's clumsy punch, the contessa slipped off her chair as Valera slumped down unconscious to the deck. Her weapon now pointed at an angry Cameron, still in his seat, the Terran agent spoke to him in a calm, measured tone, "She'll recover in a few hours or so—the needle only put her to sleep—although she's going to wake up with one hell of a hangover. Now...please..." she ordered politely, "...drink your drink...and I'll tell you the Alessandra Orsini story—well—as much as I can tell you—a lot of it is classified—and then I'll help you put Sleeping Beauty here to bed. And then we have to get going on to Picon."

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Watching as his ECO slowly awakened, Cameron handed her a glass of water. "Here take this...sip it slowly..."

"What did that Cylon bitch hit me with?" Ripper growled as she tried to sit up on her bed only to lie back down again as her head pounded in pain.

"Take these. You were hit by a needle from that gun it fired." Speedball replied, referring to Alessandra now as an object rather than a person as he handed a couple of tablets to Valera along with the water glass. "Don't look at me like that..." the raptor pilot smiled, "...they're aspirin from our stock. The toaster offered me something from its pharmacy, but I turned it down. Told it we didn't need any more of its crap than necessary."

"Good." She groaned as she took the medicine, washing it down with more water. "Damn I feel like I've just woken up from a three day bender."

"It said that the drug it used had quite a kick—I guess it didn't lie."

"Tell me about it." Valera cursed, "So what are we gonna do about those two toasters?"

"Not now...not here." Cameron cautioned. "The toasters are probably listening in on us right now. We'll talk later—when it's more secure."

"Right." Ripper agreed as she lay back down on her bed. "So...what do we do now?"

"Right now..." Cameron decided, "Nothing. They're holding all the cards. All we can do is wait until they make their move and then go on from there."

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"It!" Alessandra quietly fumed, "Toasters!" The young contessa paced, her eyes now a steely glint as her aristocratic breeding asserted itself.

"Maybe we should just gas 'em, space 'em, and be done with it." Bridgette, equally offended at the two Colonials' slurs, observed with a frown, "I think I could get with that program."

"No." The intelligence officer shook her head. "No matter how appealing the idea sounds. They're still worth more alive than dead for now. But..." The blonde AI contessa declared, her patrician bearing once again asserting itself, "...they are going to learn manners."

"Oh..." Bridgette smirked, "What have you got in mind?"

"Just a little lesson on who's in charge around here." Alessandra replied and then requested, "Be a dear, Bridgette, and give me an hour and then tell our two 'guests' that I want to see them in the gym. We're going to have ourselves a little workout."

"Sure thing, Sandi." Bridgette smirked, "This ought to be fun."

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Entering the gym, the two Colonial officers found Alessandra standing in the middle of a mat covered floor wearing a simple white martial arts ghi. "You two want a shot at me...now's your chance." She declared in an even voice, her face an expressionless mask as she gestured towards an open door. "There's a locker room in there. You can get changed. When you're ready, come out and we'll get started."

Looking at the blonde woman in disbelief, Cameron snorted, "Right...you're probably enhanced. You'll kick both our asses."

"Maybe...maybe not." Alessandra replied. "You can come at me one at a time or both at once. Two to one—can't beat those odds. This is your chance. Don't you want to take a swing at the 'toaster'?"

Leaning in toward her pilot, Ripper whispered, "Why not? Speedball. Sure, the game's probably rigged, but we might luck out. Only thing I'm worried about is the other toaster."

Nodding his head, Cameron called out to the contessa, "What about the other one? If we 'accidentally' kill you—then what will it do?"

"Bridgette will take you to your home territory—drop you off—and then leave." Alessandra responded, her lips turning up into a cold smile as she saw the alarmed looks on the two Colonial officers' faces when she uttered the words, 'drop you off'. "Alive and in your raptor, of course. But..." she added, "Since we are just soulless machines, our word might not be worth anything. So what's it going to be..." she taunted, "No guts...no glory."

"Let's do it." Ripper growled, "I want to knock that smug look off her face."

"I hope you know what you're doing." Bridgette communicated to Alessandra through their link.

"I do too." The contessa communicated back. "We'll see soon. Remember..." the contessa further admonished, "...if they do get lucky, then let them go—alive."

"All right." The AI reluctantly agreed, "But if they do, they're going to have one damned uncomfortable trip home."

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Several minutes later, the pair of Colonials emerged now wearing white ghis similar to their host's. Bowing politely to her opponents, Alessandra smirked as she saw them both approaching her. "So that's how it's going to be, then." She challenged, "Fine by me. Maybe we'll get done in time for me to enjoy a before dinner cocktail."

"You won't be in any shape to get drunk after we get through with you—you frakking toaster." Ripper sneered as she approached from the right while her partner circled around in an effort to flank the Terran.

A slight smile crossing her lips, Alessandra stood calmly in her stance as Valera lunged first. Feeling more than seeing Cameron's attack from her blind side, the contessa smoothly sidestepped his attack as she delivered a kick into the back of Ripper's legs, knocking her to the mat with a thud. Recovering quickly, Cameron struck, landing a solid blow at Alessandra's lip, resulting in a small trickle of blood flowing down.

Stepping back, Alessandra wiped the blood from her lips, "Not bad." Seeing that Ripper was still struggling to find her footing, the contessa lashed out at the male who had just struck her, grappling him. Tumbling back on to the mat, Alessandra, taking advantage of the momentum of her fall, released her opponent, her throw sending him aloft as she rolled on the mat. Regaining her footing, she quickly reassumed her combat stance as her two stunned opponents staggered back to their feet. "Round One." She announced. "Ready for more or do you want to call it a day?"

"Bring it on." Ripper snarled as she rushed the blonde Cylon. Shaking his head at his partner's recklessness, Cameron took a much more cautious approach as he attempted to once again circle around the Terran agent. Immediately recognizing Speedball as the more dangerous threat, Alessandra took advantage of Valera's clumsy attack, grappling her in an Aikido hold and then throwing her in the direction of Cameron. Cameron, seeing his partner flying towards him, moved quickly to sidestep, giving a swiftly moving Alessandra the opening she needed. Launching herself at him feet first, she impacted him in his chest, sending him flying backwards to land against the padded wall as his partner once again hit the mat.

Turning her attention now to Ripper who had regained her footing, Alessandra struck once at the woman, landing a solid punch on her nose, breaking it. Watching in satisfaction as the woman, her nose broken and bloody, sunk defeated to the floor, Alessandra glanced at Cameron who was now staggering to his feet. "I think you've had enough." She declared as Speedball helped his partner back to her feet.

Facing the two Colonials and looking directly into their beaten eyes, the contessa stood, arms akimbo, legs slightly spaced apart as she enunciated in a clear, crisp, no nonsense tone that they had not heard from her before. For the first time, the two Colonials saw the Terran aristocrat in Alessandra come out in full dress. "I want one thing clearly understood. From now on, you will refer to me as 'Lieutenant', 'Contessa', 'Contessa Terranova', or 'Your Grace', and you will call Bridgette by her correct name. You will not use the words 'toaster' or 'it' or any other epithet you might come up with to refer to or call either Bridgette or myself in our presence—and, by the way, Bridgette's presence is practically this entire ship. You can pee or take a crap in private and there are a couple of other places you can probably find to scheme and plot against us safely if that's what gets you off—but if you know what's good for you, it won't go beyond the plotting phase. Show me you're capable of polite behavior, and I might let you call me Alessandra and maybe one day, even Sandi. But until then—get this and get it good—you will conduct yourselves on this ship as civilized beings or you will be confined to your quarters for the duration of this voyage. Do we understand each other?"

Taking both officers sullen nod of their heads as assent, Alessandra pointed to the exit, "Now come on and I'll take you to the infirmary and fix you up." Favoring Cameron with a slight smile, the contessa added, "By the way, Lieutenant, nice punch."

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"We're nearing the Picon system." Bridgette announced as Alessandra entered the Elysia's command deck.

"Where are our guests?" Alessandra questioned as she took her place in the pilot's chair.

"Where they usually are when they want to be alone—in their raptor in the shuttlebay," Bridgette smirked.

"Probably cooking up something bad for the two of us, no doubt." Alessandra speculated as Picon's primary shown brighter on her viewscreen.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to let them do that?" Bridgette inquired as her holographic image, this time dressed in a sailor's outfit, complete with short skirt with green trim and a white sailor's cap also with green trim, appeared next to her friend. "You know, it'd be no problem for me to pop in on them without them knowing about it."

"No. It gives them something to do." The contessa replied with a shrug of her shoulders, "And it also allows them to feel like they have at least some control over their situation. I figure we don't have to worry too much about them pulling something until they get close to making contact with their pals. That's when we're going to have to really watch out for the knife in the back. Also, humans do need to have some privacy—otherwise, those two would go even more insane than they are already."

"Tell me about it." Bridgette sighed. "I've had a running battle with that woman ever since she began diving into the historical databanks. She refuses to accept that humanity originated on Terra. She keeps on insisting that this supposedly mythical world of Kobol is the true home world."

"There is some connection with us though..." Alessandra frowned as she recounted, "A few days after we had our little 'discussion' in the gym, I happened by their quarters and noticed that a small shrine had been set up. So, when I went in to check, I noticed figurines and asked Cameron who they represented."

"So...who were they?"

"Hermes and Athena." The contessa replied with a frown. "Remember, at first, I thought that their Colonies must have originated from a neo-pagan group that bought or leased a colony ship during the Dispersal, but Cameron was adamant that their people had left this Kobol of theirs about two thousand years ago..."

"At least a thousand years before interstellar travel." Bridgette commented.

"Right." Alessandra affirmed. "So...either their dates are screwed up...or...something or someone took a bunch of humans off Earth in the distant past and seeded them here."

"Yet another mystery." Bridgette frowned as the Picon system grew even larger in the viewer. "Time for that later, though. We're nearly where we're supposed to be. Want I should tell our passengers to shag their asses up here?"

"Yeah." Alessandra sighed, "I figure they've had enough time to finish cobbling up whatever scheme they've been concocting by now. It's time they earned their keep."

So...we're together on this then. Cameron wrote to his companion on a notepad, passing the pad to her within what they believed were the secure confines of their raptor. "We wait until we get in touch with the Olympia or other Colonial forces and then we take this ship and those two toasters out."

Sounds good to me. Ripper wrote back. I owe that thing for breaking my nose. Taking a deep breath, Valera whispered softly, sounding a cautionary note, "How do we know those two haven't already figured out what we're doing?"

"We don't." Speedball sighed, whispering back. "But it's not like we have a whole lot of choices. And just think...with this ship and its technology, we can begin to pay the Cylons back for what they did to us."

Just as the raptor pilot finished his words, Bridgette's voice came through the intercom. "All right, you two. Get done with whatever it is you're doing and get your butts up to the command deck. We've just entered the Picon system now and it's time to go to work."

"You heard the toaster." Cameron grimaced as he got to his feet, offering his partner a helping hand up as a slight smile crossed his lips. "We're home."

Author's Notes: I'm sorry you got a bit of a future history exposition, but I wanted to set up the background for AIs in the Empire a bit and do some more divergence from Anderson's work. When Anderson began his Technic series, computer technology and notions of artificial intelligence were in many ways brand new. However, modern advances have rendered turned much of Anderson's speculation into either reality or have actually rendered it obsolete. If you're interested in books or movies from the Golden Age of Science Fiction that deal with the issue of Artificial Intelligence, I would recommend Isaac Asimov's works, also take a look at some of Heinlein's stuff as well as Harlan Ellison and Robert Silverberg. As far as movies go, you might want to check out Colossus: The Forbin Project, a classic. I hope everyone enjoys this part and I'll see you next week. Also, look for the next part of "That 70s Gate" soon too—A crossover between That 70s Show and Stargate SG1—yes, I went there! Have a good and safe week and I'll see you next week!