A/N: There's going to be one, maybe two, chapters more before I hit the brick wall in the creative process on this story that says I have to figure out which direction I need to go…then we'll go to that one update a week thing. I'm afraid this story has a mind of its own again. That happens a lot with me. I think we're going to zig one way and we end up zagging another. ~Calla
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Glancing at the attractive man hanging on Bertram's every word, Lisbon glanced at her Boss instead of huffing. Suddenly appearing two weeks ago as the Interim candidate filling Wainwright's vacant position, Lisbon hadn't believed her eyes. Sending up yet another silent prayer, she hoped this still wet-behind-the-ears schoolboy wasn't here very long and that he never inherited Luther's chair. Not permanently. From what she'd seen so far, she could barely tolerate the dirty blonde Lothario as her Intermediate Boss much less anything more. To be honest, Rodney MacTavish's bumblings made Wainwright seem like a real cop.
It was beyond comprehension how these desk jockeys kept getting promoted into a leadership position requiring the skills of a seasoned field agent which they obviously weren't. If she was honest, experienced leadership was something they hadn't had since Madeleine Hightower. As difficult as their old boss could be at times, if they couldn't have Minelli, she'd been the next best thing. If there was good one thing Lisbon could say for her, the woman had been fearless in the face of challenge and she never hesitated to back her mouth with action. Both were traits she respected.
Amazingly, in spite of everything that had happened since Virgil's retirement, her Unit had survived and thrived. Not without a few expected, and unexpected, dings; but, that was the nature of the CBI. They'd even managed to do their job well enough to maintain their impressive solve rate which hadn't been easy. The same record never topped in a decade of trying. However, keeping Jane on the straight and narrow when he preferred the weaving path of Red John tracking was a full time job in itself. Between her and Cho, they did a respectable job of playing herder to his errant sheep.
So, in her humble opinion, they could survive on their own a few more months until a worthy candidate was found. They'd done fine so far. Why try to slap a bandage on the open wound? It would only unravel down the road leaving a bigger mess than before as it always did. Sometimes, she just didn't get the bureaucrats or bureaucracy. She just didn't get it.
Turning her attention back to the conversation at hand, Lisbon caught Bertram's eye and knew he knew her mind had been wandering. That was a real "Oops!" moment under the circumstance. Clearly, it was time for some much needed damage control.
"Sir, I fully understand what I'm up against." Lisbon said as she quickly organized her thoughts preparing to eloquently defend herself.
Bertram's look clearly said, "Then why don't you tell me so we'll both know."
Taking a deep breath, Lisbon could already see it fast becoming a long day and it had only just begun.
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Waving at security, Lisbon entered the CBI parking lot and turned left. Pulling into a vacant space she rested her head on the steering wheel. It wasn't even ten o'clock. Her day was already a doozy and she had yet to see Jane. She doubted she'd do that any time soon. By this time, he was already sequestered in his Bat Cave mired deep into the darkness. He wouldn't come out except to make a cup of tea unless they caught a case and she forced the issue.
Honestly, she was seriously concerned for the man. What else was new?
Sliding off the seat, Lisbon grabbed her bag and headed for the door. Once she looked over the case, got an update from her team, and decided their next move, it should be pretty close to lunch time. She thought she might slip away to the firing range for a little stress relief. As she had to Requalify soon, the practice was justified. Not that she was worried. It was a well known fact Teresa Lisbon was one of the best shots at the CBI.
It was a long acknowledge fact as well that once that handgun was drawn she a was stone cold, Steady Eddie until the threat was neutralized.
It was one of the things garnering her so much respect among the law enforcement officers who'd worked with her over the years. The reality if Lisbon had your back, she had your back. That and the way she handled Jane. Not that anyone could handle the monster in the deceptively attractive packaging all of the time. But, Lisbon did it better than anyone. That was saying a lot and it was worth a healthy dose of respect.
"Good morning, Henry." Lisbon greeted the familiar Security Guard in passing before heading for the elevator.
Watching the doors slide shut, she felt both a sense of excitement and dread brewing in the pit of her stomach. She'd made the news yet again thanks to Jane. Smile curving her lips, Lisbon wondered how darn many times the man was going to walk into the midst of a bank robbery in one lifetime? Especially considering their paychecks were Direct Deposit? They hardly ever went to banks except for Crimes In Progress. But they had two days ago.
Jane had to deposit his winnings from an illicit poker game. Considering it was a fairly hefty amount, a good twenty grand, he had to be playing with some pretty high rollers. She wisely hadn't asked any questions and he hadn't given any answers. She honestly didn't want to know.
Anyways, they'd walked right in the middle of a bank robbery. Rather Jane had and she'd had to rescue him. Going against the rules, she hadn't waited for back up. Simply taken the perfect opportunity the idiots gave her to disarm both of them with a couple of well aimed shots. The rest was history.
Well, history and the evening news. Bertram had been pleased with that one. It looked good for the CBI even if she hadn't played it by the book. At least it was one thing he was pleased about. He hadn't been all that happy with her this morning. Even if he'd had to acknowledge by the end that she was exactly right…Especially since he'd had to do that.
Rounding the corner, Lisbon glanced over at the bullpen to see her team working earnestly. Deciding not to disturb them until she'd looked over the latest updates to the case files, she swung by the break room to make a cup of coffee instead. Carrying her coffee to her office, Lisbon removed the key from her pocket and unlocked the door.
She didn't know why she bothered. The main culprit she was trying to keep out had absolutely no difficulty getting in without a key. Her actions honestly didn't make sense. It was more a case of going through the motions after all of these years than anything else.
Stepping inside, Lisbon stared at the beribboned basket cradling what she immediately recognized as a very expensive bottle of Anejos Tequila flanked by two Tequila Glasses sitting on her desk. Blinking at the sight; the question, 'Who knew there was any such thing as Tequila glasses?" immediately flickered through her mind. The lightening fast answer, "Probably Jane." soon followed provided by the peanut gallery in her brain.
Lifting the bottle, Lisbon realized it was the smoother, costlier Anejo of Bosco's favorite brand. It was also much too similar to the one he'd pulled from his desk drawer along with two crystal brandy snifters clearly brought from home on a bleak winter's night long ago…Her last night before she'd assumed her new position as Senior Agent within the CBI in her own right…The promising promotion no longer quiet so promising anymore as she'd let Jane thoroughly trash it over the years…It was a night long ago when she'd learned some Tequila's weren't meant to be crudely tossed back in exuberant case closed celebration; but, sipped like a fine champagne while the complexity of their flavors were savored on the tongue.
It was also the night, as they sat sipping Tequila into the wee hours of the morning, when she'd been slapped upside the head with the reality Bosco's feeling for her ran far deeper than they should for a married man. And that her own, while nothing like the emotion she saw reflected in his eyes, weren't quite as innocent as she'd always believed.
She'd not understood what had suddenly changed. Why she was seeing things she never wanted to see and feeling things she never wanted to feel. Probably because it had been too long since she'd been in a relationship. Since she hadn't been feeling vulnerable and lonely in ways she didn't usually feel. It had taken a tipsy, forbidden almost kiss that never really happened to prove that dangerous point. Lisbon had decided, at that precise moment, her sudden career move couldn't have come at a better time.
She needed to put some distance between her and her "Boss" before she stepped into her future after mistakenly creating a past she never wanted to happen.
Thankfully, she hadn't looked back in the years since.
Not even when she and Bosco had suddenly found themselves working much too close together for her peace of mind. Or when he'd made it abundantly clear to anyone willing to see that his feelings had never changed. The he still loved his student in ways he shouldn't. If Lisbon doubted it, Jane had clarified the situation more than once refusing to let her ignore what was right in front of her face. If that weren't enough, the words she never wanted to hear had fallen from Sam's lips to her ears on the deathbed he should never have been in.
Shaking out of her reverie, Lisbon's emerald eyes suddenly filled with menace as a couple of realizations shot through her mind.
She'd been in strategy meetings with Bertram and her intermediate Boss all morning concerning a hypersensitive case they were working Number One. Her door had been locked the entire time Number Two. Number Three was just plain obvious: How had that basket gotten where it was given one and two? There was only one conclusion she could jump to and he had curly blonde hair. Her experience mind easily supplied the answers.
The same way those bakery boxes had gotten there.
As she'd had quite the heated something to say their Boy Wonder after the fact, Lisbon couldn't believe he was still up to his maddening antics.
Walking over to her door and throwing it open, she stuck her head out and yelled "Jane!" in that tone brooking no argument. Especially when she knew his lazy butt was reclining on his couch in the bull pen not locked away in his Man Cave upstairs. Or the "Bat Cave" as her team called it not meaning for one moment that Jane was a Super Hero. More like the man was a batty shadow crawler on a good day.
Rising to his feet, Jane ambled toward Lisbon's office wondering what he'd done now to warrant such a rude awakening from a perfectly good nap.
"You screeched, My Dear?" Jane asked with an impertinent quirk of his brow.
"Been picking my lock again?" Lisbon asked mirroring Jane's gesture with an impressive eyebrow lift of her own.
"I have not." Jane firmly denied. "If you don't believe me, asked Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Cho. They'll be happy to confirm my story."
"Yeah, I'll just bet they would." Lisbon said knowing her guys had "stuck up" for Jane more than once in the past and not putting it past them to do it again.
"I'm not lying, Lisbon." Jane said as he walked around her desk to peer into the large, hand woven basket. "That's a nice, smooth Tequila. Coupled with the Tequila Glasses, it set your admirer back a tidy sum.
However, your gifter made a mistake with those glasses. Anejos like that one are better appreciated in a snifter than a flute. More of the aromas and flavor elements are swirled apart in the larger glass instead of bound as they are in a flute. Trust me on this." Jane smirked at the obvious aggravation on Lisbon's face.
As if his letting a stranger into her office without her permission yet again wasn't enough; her resident freak had the audacity to critique her gift. Yeah, she frequently called Jane a "freak" in her mind…Usually when she was so done with him. She'd called him a freak to his face a time or two as well. She meant it affectionately and Jane knew it…more of an impolite term of endearment than anything else.
Definitely not in that way that had her verbally going for the jugular with anyone else.
"It's no big deal as you already have a couple of snifters in your kitchen cabinet. Besides, none of that changes the fact someone went to a lot of trouble to get this to you. It's from a shop on the other side of Sacramento favored by the city's more elite constituency." Jane rattled on.
"How would you know that?" Lisbon asked.
"Lisbon, I've hobnobbed with the shakers and movers in this town quite a bit over the past decade." Jane said loftily. "I'm privy to quite a bit you don't know I know."
"Right." Lisbon said. "Mashburn turned you on to the shop."
Lisbon resisted the urge to mark a sizzling pretend "1" in the air at the look in Jane's eyes. It was about time she'd gotten him again. It had been much too long and he was getting too arrogant to live with. He needed bringing down a notch or two.
"Maybe he did." Jane acknowledged. "Catch you later, Lisbon. I have some work to do."
Watching him head for the door, Lisbon wasn't sure why she felt so compelled to make the offer; but, she did.
"Hey, Jane?" He stopped midstep without turning around fingers touching the doorknob.
"Yeah, Lisbon?" He asked.
"My place around eight." She offered. "We can order Mexican and try that Tequila. You can show me how it's done.
"Sounds like a plan." Jane walked out the door towards the much hated stairs.
Shaking her head, Lisbon had no clue why she'd made the offer other than she was really concerned about him. Jane was starting to look rough around the edges in that manner she despised. The one that said he was spending too much time wallowing in his personal hell.
Lifting the basket off her desk to the floor in an out of the way corner, Lisbon pulled her chair out and took a seat. Opening the first of several files, she banished thoughts of Jane and turned her attention where it should be.
On her several cases at hand.
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Finishing the last bite of her Chiles Rellenos, Lisobon sat back in her chair watching Jane sipping Tequilla from one of the snifters looking right at home on her couch. Glancing at the take out boxes still half filled with everything from nachos to quesadillas to everything in between, she decided they'd made veritable pigs of themselves with plenty left over for several more meals. Her slightly rounded belly was visible proof if she needed any.
There was something about Jane and takeout when it was just the two of them. He seemed compelled to order a sampling of all of her favorites. No matter the cuisine they were having. Not that she was complaining. As long as it was on his dollar, she didn't really care. It was just that she always gorged and there was always a lot of food left over. Far more than there would have been had they each simply ordered what they really wanted.
Fortunately, they usually cooked on those rare occasions they shared a meal which eliminated her need to double or triple her workouts for a few days to keep the extra pounds at bay.
If she was honest, she'd admit she enjoyed having someone fussing over her even if it was in such a seemingly trivial way. However, coming from Jane, the extra effort was far from insignificant. He didn't do nice things for people he didn't care about.
Catching Lisbon's eye, Jane lifted his glass in silent salute before uttering the words she'd never expect to pass his lips.
"To Bosco." Jane said quietly into the calm. "He meant what he said that last night, you know. He loved you, Teresa. Not loved you like a friend love either. He was in love with you. He had been for years."
"I don't want to talk about it, Jane." Lisbon said quietly as she set her empty plate aside.
"Why not?" Jane asked. "A part of you held him in great affection, too. Granted, not in the same way; but, more of that rookie way Van Pelt used to worship you. The man was your mentor and everything you aspired to be. At least until he did the unthinkable. That was when you decided there were parts of him you never wanted to be. That doesn't mean you didn't still hero worship him from afar in that innocent little heart of yours."
"Shush, Jane." Lisbon growled forcefully not liking his choice of subject matter.
"Why?" Jane continued. "If I don't miss my guess, things almost came to a head at least once. Probably late one night after a harrowing case when you were both feeling raw and vulnerable. Maybe his wife was out of town and you were in between boyfriends as you always seem to be. You really must do something about that, Lisbon.
Married to the job is no way for a vibrant, attractive woman to be.
Back to what I was saying, you were probably sharing a case closed shot that foolishly turned into an unhealthy three or four. At least for you given your body weight, the speed with which you were knocking them back, and the fact you probably hadn't eaten all day. Old habits rarely change and you don't eat a lot on the cases that really get to you.
I'd say it wasn't long before you were feeling no pain and Bosco wasn't looking so bad. Personally, I can't imagine that. Then again, what do I know? I'm not female and that was a few years ago. Given that I think he always found you appealing, I'd say Sam was feeling the same.
I think he decided the time had come to make his move. I also think a smidge of that legendary "Saint Teresa" control slipped when Bosco finally got up the nerve to kiss you. You kissed him back. More than that, you thought about letting him do what he wanted to right there on his office couch." Jane blanched slightly at her murderous gaze. "But, you didn't. You were the agent under him and, more importantly, he was a married man. So, I'd say you beat a path out of there as fast as your tiny legs would go and all was discretely forgotten the next day.
Put down to too much stress and too many shots of Tequila.
While you may have eventually forgotten those little glimpses of something you didn't want to see, My Dear, Bosco never did."
Which was why she'd looked so genuinely startled when he'd told her Bosco was in love with her. She'd deliberately convinced herself it never happened. Even when a deeply buried part of her knew it had.
"I mean it, Jane." Lisbon tossed her balled up napkin at him hoping he would take the hint.
"That's not your fault, Teresa. You aren't an evil seductress or a home wrecker. You didn't make Bosco fall in love with you and I know for a fact you never encouraged him. Not in any overt way unless you count simply being Lisbon.
If it makes you feel any better, he never mistreated his wife and she never knew he was unfaithful in his heart. And he did love her. Never doubt that either.
He just loved you more." Jane finished softly.
"Stop it, Jane." Lisbon really did not want to be having this conversation.
As usual, Jane saw too much. While he might not be exactly right on the exact events, he was close enough. Sam had tried to kiss her once under similar circumstances.
She'd artfully dodged his move leaving both their dignities intact. As for knowing he was in love with her, she'd never allowed herself to see it. What she didn't acknowledge wasn't there. Not until Jane forced her to.
As for her loving him a little, she'd never been in love with Bosco. That wasn't acceptable behavior. Who knows what would have happened under different circumstances…Had Sam not been both her superior and married…With hindsight, she doubted very much. While she hadn't loved him like that, she had cared deeply for the man. Sam Bosco was, and would have always been, a very "special" friend.
"No, Teresa, I don't think I will." Jane continued. "I'm tired of seeing that look in your eyes every time Bosco's name is mentioned or the devastation on your face when you saw that bottle of Tequila today. While it's not the same kind, it is the same brand Sam bought. Whoever he is, your Secret Admirer knows you much too well. However, that isn't what we're talking about at the moment.
You need to let what's inside out, Teresa. It's okay to mourn an old friend. It's even okay to love him if that's what you want to do. There's no one here but me and you and I assure you I won't tell. I certainly won't think any less of you for finally giving in."
Wrapping her in his arms, Jane rubbed her back soothingly as Lisbon gave into the jagged tears she'd refused to shed in quite this way.
"For the record, you are not blame for Bosco's death. He made his choices and he paid for them. Enough said." Jane said quietly.
"I hate you, Jane." Lisbon said emphatically from where she was tucked so neatly against his chest struggling to ignore the voice in her head reminding her over and over again how right this felt.
It didn't matter how she felt. Jane was the one who mattered. As he obviously didn't feel the same so that little voice could shush already.
"No you don't, My Dear." Jane consoled her. "You hate being vulnerable in front of me. That's an entirely different matter."
"Fine." Lisbon pulled out of his arms unable to stand being so near him anymore. "What you said. I'll be back in a minute. I need to fix this."
She made a sweeping circle encompassing her tear wrecked face.
"I'll still be here." Jane reassured him as he crammed his hands in his pocket before ambling towards the French Doors leading to her patio to stare into the distance.
Waiting for Lisbon to return downstairs face restored, Jane pondered the past five months at the CBI. Nothing really changed year in and year out. Life was just more of the same. They were the Serious Crimes Unit and they handled serious crimes: murders, kidnappings, bombings, terrorism, and the blackmailing of people in high places. Mostly murders; but, he wasn't complaining…The search for Red John.
That's why he'd gotten involved with the Lisbon and the CBI in the first place.
What wasn't the same was he'd appeared on the scene almost five months ago nearly to the day disrupting everything. Jane didn't like that. He didn't like it at all. Whoever, or whatever, he was it was clear nothing was as it seemed. He was sure it.
For one thing, he was taking much too long in his pursuit if his intent was amorous. Then again, he might be playing up the mystique factor. Lisbon might be a no-nonsense cop; but, she was still a woman. He'd occasionally caught that look in her eyes when she'd had nothing better to do than fantasize about who Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome might possibly be.
For another, whoever he was, he knew Lisbon well enough to push all the right buttons. That made Jane uncomfortable. Where someone else (like Grace Van Pelt) would jump to the very logical conclusion her Secret Admirer was a co-worker, he wasn't so sure. And while the thought of someone who'd coveted Lisbon from afar suddenly deciding to crawl out of the wood work and make his move was romantic in some lights, in others it was downright creepy. At the moment his Creep-O-Meter was winning out starting with the first gift.
In the first place, who sent Teresa Lisbon's flower to break the ice? A pound or two of expensive gourmet coffee made more sense to anyone really knowing her. The woman hadn't received a bouquet three times in the years he'd known her and every one of them had been an apology. She just wasn't a flowers kind of girl. Not on the surface anyway and not that she couldn't be. He'd noted the way her eyes lit up when she'd realized that vase was for her.
What really bugged him wasn't so much that someone had sent Lisbon flowers; it was the flowers themselves. Well, maybe that wasn't strictly true; but, he wasn't going there. Off the rabbit trail and back to the thought at hand…Those roses should have been red…That's what a real Secret Admirer would have sent. Some random Joe wouldn't be into Floriography. He'd just send the object of his desires what every other man pursuing a woman sent: a dozen or two of the classic standby. That was simply the way things were done.
Not this guy. He'd sent a very specific message by the flowers and number of stems he'd chosen. He'd very precisely conveyed what he wanted to say: "You have a Secret Admirer." and nothing else. Not your run of the mill love sick geek.
Not at all.
Then there was the matter of those sweets. Every last one was chosen with care as they were all Lisbon's favorites assembled in one delicious place. Given that a certain lady cop's tastes had changed over their acquaintanceship, her Admirer had to have been observing her closely to compile such a complete offering that would appeal to her every mood.
Any way you sliced that one, it had stalker written all over it.
Finally, there was his last offering: the one sending Lisbon over the edge. Sam Bosco's favorite brand of Tequila wasn't common knowledge. Nor was their little ceremony the night before Lisbon stepped into her promotion. Someone, somewhere, had to have heard them reminiscing about it sometime when Lisbon was shooting the breeze in Bosco's office. Probably late some night when everyone had gone home soon after they'd started working closely together again. It sounded like a very Lisbon thing to do…Especially with an old friend the caliber of Sam.
Jane would double down that someone had had short dark hair embellished with totally age inappropriate hair ornaments.
All in all, this whole Secret Admirer situation had him on edge for reasons he couldn't quite put his finger on. On the one hand, he was going to feel like a fool when Dwyer from Forensics Accounting stepped forward to invite Lisbon out to dinner red rose in hand. On the other, if the supposition crawling around in the back of his head proved true, what was the ghoul up to?
Either way, he didn't like any of this.
He didn't like it at all.
But, he'd have to ponder all of that later as Lisbon was coming down the stairs.