I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
Roxanne felt awkward, but she had to do it. She rang the doorbell and smiled when Scott Longbottom answered the door.
"Oh, hi Roxanne," he said, looking rather flabbergasted.
"Hi," she said, trying to seem normal. "Do you mind if I come in?"
He hesitated. She didn't blame him; she would've said no. But then he said, "Yes."
"Thanks," she said, and followed him inside. She made the customary inquiries about how he'd been and how his family had been as they sat down. It hurt her that they were now sitting in armchairs instead of together on the couch, like they used to.
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up, and I know why
They talked for a while about their lives, now so far separated from each other. Roxanne could tell he was suspicious of her, and she figured she'd better make this quick. While half her mind was on the conversation, the other half was planning how best to bring up the reason she'd come in the first place.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die
Roxanne's thoughts drifted back to that night, as they so often did. Scott had asked her to forgive him, but she'd said no. He even brought her roses, her favorite flower. She normally would have been touched by this gesture, but her stupid, stubborn, eighteen-year-old self had refused to let him back in her life. If only she'd known how much she'd regret it.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
"Scott," she said, interrupting whatever he was saying. "The real reason I came is to say I'm sorry. And don't ask what for, because you know what I'm talking about."
She gave him a few moments to absorb the fact that Roxanne Weasley had just said the word "sorry" for probably the first time in her life before she went on.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
"I wish I could go back to that night in December. I thought being single would feel great, but actually, the whole time I've just been beating myself up because I didn't appreciate how wonderful it was to have you."
These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
"Life hasn't been the same without you, Scott. I can't do anything without thinking about you, and about the day I left. On your birthday, it felt so wrong that i wasn't with you."
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
"I'd spend my time remembering all those times we went to the beach, and when we'd go for walks and everything. And I'd remember the time I realized I loved you."
And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye
"I'd relive how it felt when everything suddenly became awkward and not right between us, or so I thought at the time. Really, though, you loved me just the same. I feel horrible for leaving you like that, when the bad feelings were all in my head."
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
"You and I were so perfect when we were together. Everyone would say so, do you remember? And I've never forgotten how wonderful you were to me the night I had that horrible row with Fred."
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
"So the reason I came is to say that if you'll forgive me, we can go back to how things were, except that I'll appreciate you for all the amazing things you do for me."
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
"I wish I could undo all the things that happened before. I acted horribly, and I understand if you don't want me back." Roxanne felt relieved to have gotten out all her feelings, but apprehensive about what he would say.
Scott looked quite taken aback for a moment, but then he smiled. "You don't even need to ask, Rox. You know me well enough to know that I've never stopped thinking about you, or missing you, or loving you. So let's just...start again, yeah?"
Roxanne's answer was to move over towards his chair and kiss him. Finally, after all these years, her life felt right again.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time, all the time
"Back to December" by Taylor Swift. Review!