Don't trust a BRO.

Before I fall asleep, I should probably call Zexion. He always wants me to check in at the end of the day and make sure I did not hurt anyone or blow anything up. I tell him I no longer need constant check-ups to make sure I am not hurting anyone. He tends to think otherwise. So I pick up my sexy little Samsung Intensity and dial Zexy-boy's number. He picks up on the second ring like he anticipated me calling. What a creep-ass punk.

"Hello, Axel," he greets me monotonously. What an exciting guy. I'll tell ya, I love him to death.

But I'll be lying.

"Hey Zex," I sigh deeply, wondering if it is humanly possible to sound as boring as he does on the phone. I mean, he is so dull; he makes watching paint dry sound like sex. Watching paint dry might be a little harder. On second thought, no. Nothing is harder than sex with me. (That is, if you know what I mean by hard.) I bet that Roxas kid would enjoy it.

I love when the sexiest little bastard in the world randomly decides to make-out with me. It makes life worthwhile. I wonder it would be like to-"Can I help you?" Zexion asks rudely, interrupting my little diversion. I'm probably tearing him away from some book he is reading or something nerdy like that.

I snort and stretch my arms out above my head. "Forget about the nightly booty calls you have me make, sexy?" I rub my forehead. It is inexplicably tensing up and pissing me off.

"You're a bastard, Axel," he says one hundred percent seriously. I doubt he isn't smiling on the other end of the line because he always smiles when he makes some snarky comment.

"Way to go, Captain Obvious. Now that we've got that covered, can I go?" I request impatiently, my foot tapping against the footboard of my bed. Huh. I just realized my head isn't even on the pillow. No wonder I feel so tall.

"Did you burn anything down today?"

"…No?"

"Then you can go."

I smile appreciatively as if he could see it. "Thanks, bro."

"…Yep." I think he never says you're welcome because then he would be obligated to do whatever it is he welcomes constantly. I bet he'll change his mind the first time he gets laid. Getting laid changes everything.

The human-size speakers pump out some bitch-ass song by Kevin Rudolf. Isa is all up on this brunette and I feel really bad for her; no one knows how bad he is when he's horny. It's fucking ridiculous. Dude's a rapist. Not many people know about it, but when he shows up at my place at four in the morning looking for a place to hide for the day after a forced fuck, you cannot help but know. It was pretty obvious after the cops showed up one night and tested me for drugs while Isa snuck out my window and climbed up to the roof of my building. It was crazy.

So Isa turns around and grins when he sees me. I think I can smell his breath from here. I look to my left and contort my face. No, it's not Isa's breath. Some half-naked chick with no underwear on is doing a handstand.

That is seriously nasty.

"Axey, baby; what brings you here?" Isa greets excitedly, throwing his arms up in the air, eyes twinkling perkily. His grin is open and welcoming. So is his boner.

"A call from you telling me you need a fucking ride because you're drunk off your ass." I crack my back and shove my hands in the pockets of baggy black jeans. "So when do you want to go?"

Isa smacks my arm and sticks his tongue out. "Come on, Ax. Chill out. I'm not going anywhere until you at least meet my sister. I groan and rub my eyes. Isa laughs. "Live a little."

I want to tell him, "I've killed people. I've lived enough," but something tells me that would ruin his high. I don't know and don't care how much blow he's done tonight. I really don't. After I got off the phone with Zexion, I got a call from Isa bitching about how drunk he was. There's no way he can drive. I can see why. Then I realize he just said he has a sister.

I raise an eyebrow and glare with the spare eye. "I've known you since grade-school and you never told me you have a sister?" I ask, folding my arms. "You're an asshole." I sneer.

"Axel. Dude. Chillax, okay? See, there she is." He stands on one foot- a dangerous maneuver for Isa when he's tanked –and peers over a pile of people. He points profusely. "Right there," he declares.

I try to look in that general direction, but I don't see anyone with naturally blue hair like Isa's. Actually, I think he is pointing to a blonde. A blonde? He has this hair the color of an ice cube and his sister is blonde? I bet she is some bitch… I bet they get it from their dad. Dad's always seem to be the bitchy ones. They're usually the total shit bags. I mean hey; look at mine.

"The blonde chick that looks like she has antennas?" I ask. "Dude her hair looks like a big yellow ant."

"And you look like a fucking porcupine, but you don't see me complaining, do you?" Isa mocks, shoving my shoulder. I roll my eyes. "Look, I'll bring her here, you're gonna meet her, and dude she is like your perfect kind of bitch. Trust me."

Even though the look in his eyes screams, don't trust me. Don't trust a ho. NEVER trust a ho. I love how even he is giving away his whorish tendencies simply by looking at me. Poor guy had so much potential to be a pimp, but he doesn't give. He takes. I would know. Interesting shit is walking in on your best friend and some guy. The strange thing is, Isa can give it. He's an effing molester, but if he's looking for just plain ol' sex, he takes it. He can't make up his mind at all. Anyway, basic gist is I can't trust him and he walks over to grab the sister that he never mentioned to his best friend.

He is such a douche bag.

Two minutes later- after the music has faded into a decent song that isn't by a wash-out (which I think it's the Chiodos version of Flagpole Sitta) and I witnessed two drunk chicks hitting on me (which I wasn't a huge fan of…) –Isa comes back with the ant-head girl on his arm. Her smile is devious—she is so hiding something. Her eyes agree with her. Did we not just go over this?

Don't trust a ho. NEVER trust a ho.

Because the ho won't trust me.

Just saying.

"Axeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, this is my sister," Isa introduces her. "Her name is Relane. Ain't she gorgeous?"

Yeah. About as gorgeous as your nasty-ass breath.

"Hey," I greet the girl blandly. Her eyes are a pure blue, but they have secrets. It is written all over her face and all under that too-short skirt and barely-there top. I wonder if chicks realize that some men do like women with class. I mean, I know this is not the place to look for class (especially if their Isa's sister) but please, God: throw me a fucking bone, would ya? I don't enjoy accompanying myself with hoes.

"So you're the Axel I've heard so much about?" Relane inquires slyly. I simply nod and shrug. Just keep it casual. "Isa told me all about you. The one time I went over to his mom's house a couple years ago, there were pictures of you two all over his room. It was so disgusting it was cute."

I glance at Isa. "You flaming fag," I say with disturbance, shaking my head.

Isa folds his arms. "No, that's you, Axel," he sneers.

I glare. "Come on. I light my hair on fire one freaking time…"

Relane laughs. "You two are so cute together." I gag at that comment. The blonde sister of my fag-ass friend beams. "As friends I mean. Isa doesn't look good with anyone as a girlfriend."

I smirk. This girl knows where it's at. I think I like her more than I like her brother and I just met her. "So you two look nothing alike. How does that work with you being sibs?" I point to Relane with my pinky and the blue-haired dip shit I call my best friend with my thumb. So it's like I'm holding an imaginary telephone. That's how cool I am.

Isa throws his arm over his sister's shoulder. "We share a douche of a dad."

"He sucks major ass," Relane agrees. "Our mom's actually know each other too, but they never like it when we hang out."

"Why not?" I ask. I suddenly wonder if my hair is matted. It's real hot in here. I unzip my dark sweatshirt.

Relane holds a finger to her little lips. "My mom heard this one telling me a story about this friend he used to have that burned down a house that had the family still living in it. She thought the evil would rub off on me, but…" She flicks her hand dismissively. "That ship sailed a long time ago."

I'm so bored. This is so boring. Why did Isa have to drag me here? I decide to try something new and see what happens. I look down at the floor, blink a few times, and just know the look in my eyes has changed from flat to feisty. I growl lowly. "Someone sounds naughty."

She takes the bait, blushes slightly, but loses it to a devilish smirk. "No. Just hot," she purrs.

Now this is getting interesting. "You wanna play with real fire?" I suggest, taking a couple steps closer to her and toying with strands of her hair. If she didn't have those weird ant-things she could be so much hotter. Why do girls purposely make themselves unattractive? Fucking antennas are going to endlessly piss me off. Maybe if she gets sweaty enough they'll cling to her face like bangs and I won't have to deal with it.

Maybe if I stop trying to entertain myself I won't think about fucking my best friend's sister! Aw man what the hell is wrong with me? Someone please get me out of here. Please. God, I know wherever you are you love me. So this is the last time I ask you for a bone until I really, really need one! This is one of those times! I don't want to go anywhere with this chick. I would rather blow myself up!

And on cue, as if some higher power was once again watching my sorry ass, I found a distraction that I could use an excuse to get away. Even though it is probably the most awkward, crazy, ridiculous reason for me to get away from this little whore (it runs in the family), I will take this and run with it. I glance over my shoulder and act ecstatic to see my… friend. I segue from the moment. "Hey, that's my buddy over there! I'll see ya later, Isa. It was nice meeting you Relane."

I flee her disappointed look. I flee her folded arms and aggravated, wrinkled forehead. I also try to ignore the fact her antennas seemed to stiffen up, like they are pissed off too. Like that isn't the creepiest thing ever. I run over to – mother of all fucking people – Cloud Strife and hesitated before placing a hand on his shoulder. He sharply turns around, mako-blue eyes startled.

"Axel, correct?" he says, brushing my hand from his shoulder, turning around to face me.

"Yes!" I nearly shriek in relief. I don't know why I'm so relieved to be around this guy I nearly killed, but I'm so happy to see him right now. "Cloud, Mr. Strife, hi; you have no idea how relieved I am to see you."

Cloud peaks a pale blonde brow. "You're… happy to see me? Didn't I just meet you yesterday?" he asks.

I nod vigorously. "Yeah, but… You seem like an interesting enough guy and…" I give up on my bullshit excuses and give him the most pleading, adorable puppy dog eyes I can. (But I probably look like I'm trying to seduce the poor guy.) "Okay, so my gay-ass blue haired friend Isa just introduced me to his sister and she is the craziest chick I have ever met and I really don't want to deal with her so I'm trying to escape. Do you mind?"

Cloud's horizontal mouth has slid into a smirk by now. His whirlpool eyes twinkle in what might be happiness. His fluffy, defiant blonde hair flops tiredly. I notice he has dark bags under his eyes, much like mine. Wonder when the last time he slept was. Probably four days ago.

And I killed this guy's family?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

His parents must've been gorgeous, though.

"I don't mind at all. Would you like to take refuge in a quieter room?" he offers, nodding toward the stairs, smiling with more than his mouth.

Guilt pisses in my eye socket with its nasty AIDS virus. It burns. It stings. I hate myself more than I did a couple minutes ago. I killed this fucking… this fucking great guy's family. If I wasn't the most fucked up little kid, I don't know who is. I deserve to burn in hell. God, do I hope I burn in hell! I hope I rot and scar and scald and beg for mercy and never receive it because that is what I deserve.

I still accomplish a forced smile and follow his lead to a nearby room, guilt shadowing me, nipping at my heels, biting seductively at my neck, and sensually tracing my spine. I hold in disturbed shivers of horror and allow the door to close behind me.

Yeah. Chapter three. This story has some serious potential! I'm liking where this is going! Hoo-effing-rah! Review! I like reviews!
They make me feel sex-ayyyyy!
Like I mentioned in Heartless today, I have a booked weekend and will hopefully update (probably update...) Monday! Be content! Be happy!
Because things are about to take a turn for some serious shit, man!