A/N:
After deciding against a secret love affair between a Sphinxara and a Catoblepas
(the idea's not half bad, I may expound on it later…^ ^ ), I realized that
to make this fic really angsty, we need to hear Julia speak as well. I'm no
big fan of Julia (no offense to those who are) but let's hear her side, shall
we? And oh yes, I made Caraway's first name to be "McDohl", a tribute to
my favorite Suiky 1 hero. However, I'd be the first to admit it doesn't
sound quite right…
Disclaimer: This is the last disclaimer for all the "other possible
chapters." This is only a single fic, after all, and don't you get tired of
saying the exact same thing for every chapter? *shrugs* I know I do. So,
for the last time (for this fic, at least), Squaresoft owns FF8. (And I lay
me down to cry.)
The Man I Used To Know
"The one who loves you will make you weep."
- Argentine Proverb
The world outside is a happy one, full of happy things and
happy people. Everywhere around Deling City you can hear singing, melodic
voices, and much, much raucous mirth. Today is my wedding day.
So why do I feel like crying? And why should I be writing to you,
of all people?
Memories of a long ago night assail me, of a Galbadian
soldier who could not quite keep his puppy-dog eyes off of me, and who could
always make me smile despite myself. You always made me feel like some big star,
and not another pianist just doing her job to earn her keep. That night I
finally knew who you were, and at that same night, you left me. Never to return
again.
And yet I waited. These years spent in pining for you like an
old woman, hoping that you would, like you promised, come back for me and hear
me sing. I even gave you my first song, which you inspired… all of what I
don't feel for McDohl embedded in it. Warmth. Regret. Love.
They say first impressions always last. Maybe you just gave
me such a perfect first impression that no other man I have ever met could come
close to you. I would not know, and I probably never will - not now, when I am
about to give up what we had as a much-loved memory in the back of my mind. Or
did we really have something? Or was it just fantasy on my part that you stayed
all those nights listening to me because you felt something special for me?
Because I certainly did. Felt something special for you, that is.
* sigh *
All the same, it is too late for now. In just a few minutes,
I am going to give my life over to General McDohl Caraway, one of the wealthiest
men in the whole of Galbadia, and I am going to trust him to make me happy. But
my love will always be with you, searching for you, just like my what eyes used
to do on those fleeting random nights.
This is the last letter I'm going to write as a free woman,
and now I realize why I had the sudden urge to put all this down. You never knew
I loved you, never knew that I had always had my eyes on you. This is the legacy
of a woman who has had her chance at wealth and fame but who still feels empty,
because sometime between her rise, she lost the man who could make her sing.
This is for you, Laguna Loire, so that somehow, someday, you
will learn that my last moments of being the girl you knew were spent on longing
for you. And that I will always be thankful for having known you, and for being
my biggest fan in more ways than one. Maybe I will still long for you
years from now, but you know as well as I do that I cannot wait forever…
The Singer You Inspired,
Julia Heartilly
F/N: Funny, I suddenly liked Julia a whole lot after I wrote this…!