I remember the first time we had dinner with each other on that marble dining table. At first, you don't accept me as your partner because we had different things that we perceive, that we believed it was right, and the other was wrong. You give me anything you have in this chateau, and yet you didn't recognize me as something that you would love forever, it hurts, but I did this for you. When most left their partners because of their bad behavior, I stayed. I stayed for you and kept trying to hide my wavering feelings for you. I told myself that one day, I would be yours and yours only. I remember the time when we had our first date, your emotions are getting better with me and you slowly accepting me as a partner - you'd even let me sleep with you in your sleepless nights. One night, when we can't relax and tried anything to make it easier, a butterfly came inside your room and stayed on the windowsill. Perching like a bird and it didn't move a muscle. We both took a chair and sat across it. It was majestic, and it radiates a vibrant color, just as you shine your beaming smile to everyone. I remember you smiled at me and let out a little giggle that gave warmth to this cold, bloodless soul - into a more open, soulful spirit of a person.
In front of this butterfly, there lies our blooming and growing future. Surrounded by happiness and joy, and the cheerfulness of your personality. The butterfly reflects us like a mirror, capturing every moment, every movement, every... memory that rests between two worlds. I remember one morning after you come home a bit tipsy and telling me to help you to dance to a classic rock song. You danced with such grace that I couldn't keep it up with you, nor with my mind. I was too mesmerized when I see your smiling face, although it's a bit drunk and showing symptoms of someone who almost passed out due to excessive alcohol intake on their body. I still love you and let you guide me through your drunken dance.
Due to... a miscalculated catastrophe, I killed you. Leaving me with all the thoughts of you in the coming days - starting tonight. What I've been dreaming on your bed every night is the most real nightmare that I could ever imagine. Every time I went back to my base, I think about you - a lot. I think of every possible way to make you happy, to let you know that in this husk of a dead woman who walks the earth aimlessly with a dagger, I honestly still waiting. When you smiled at me, teaching me how to cook, and just adoring the view of the lake on the backyard balcony. I think every possible way to make you happy, to make you mine and mine only. I never thought that my organization would do such a horrific crime to you, and I am the one who executes the order. I was brainwashed. I was programmed to kill, but yet you showed me your emotions, taught me how to let your feelings out - from this husk that cannot understand what feeling is and how to use it. I wasn't flirty enough for you, but now, I know that you hide something from me, something that so sincere that it melts a dying heart and heals an ill soul of a woman. The butterfly only showed my shadow, but nowhere near yours. The butterfly stood still like a statue - as if it was dead long ago.
Tears running down from my eyes to my heart, I stood and sat on our queen-sized bed, and think...
That I sincerely still waiting for...
Waiting for...
Ah... forget it. Who would care about my emotions?