I stood in the middle of my room, looking around. I got up quickly and took a letter I had written and hid it under a loose floorboard before moving the bed to cover it. I hoped that they would find it. There was nothing else I could do for her except stop running. I had been running for a week now and they had come closer and closer.
I knew that that was the day I would be caught. I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. Looking out the window I could see their car pulling up. I sighed a little and took out a cup and some tea.
When the kettle whistled I could hear their footsteps running up the stairs. I poured myself some tea, "Come in," I shouted when I knew that they were before my door, "I've been expecting you."
They did so and entered the kitchen, their guns drawn, "Hello, boys," I smiled a little as I took a sip.
"Ginerva, you're going to have to come with us," a tall, brown-haired man said.
"I know," I replied, taking another sip, "Can I finish this?" I asked, gesturing towards the tea.
"I'm afraid not," the man replied, smiling in a friendly manner.
"Well, Blaise, in that case, let me just get my coat." I got up, placed the cup down and prayed that I had had enough before I walked out of the kitchen and towards the door. Blaise and the others followed me closely, watching my every move.
"Don't do anything stupid," he said when he saw me look out the window, "Goyle, search the place."
I smiled sadly as I picked up my coat, "You won't find what you're looking for. Or should I say who you're looking for?"
"I'm sorry. Ginerva," the man said, sighing a little.
"It doesn't matter anymore," I replied, smiling a little, "I have done what I had to do."
Blaise simply smiled back at me when Goyle came back, "Nothing," he said, shrugging.
"I didn't think you'd find anything," Blaise agreed, "Are you ready?" he asked, turning to face me.
"Yes," I nodded. I had been ready for a long time. Blaise led me down the stairs and into the car. Once there he blindfolded me and the car drove off.
I didn't say anything, I didn't struggle. It was useless, I knew that much. I did nothing as they made me get out of the car and into a building. Finally, they tied me to a chair.
"Leave," Blaise said, and I heard steps walking away from us, "You know, Ginerva, don't think I don't know what it was that you were drinking."
"Tea?" I asked, smiling a little.
"Don't make me seem more stupid than I am. Now, I'm not going to say anything because, to be honest, I understand why you're doing what you're doing. I might have done the same." I could nearly hear him smile, "And I really am sorry."
"I know," I replied, sighing a little, "It doesn't matter. It's over."
Blaise stroked my hair, softly, "Good bye, Ginerva, I'll miss you. Even if I probably never knew you."
"No, you didn't know me," I replied, "But then, no one knew me."
I heard Blaise sigh quietly and for a second I was sure he was going to say something when I heard him walk away. At the door, he hesitated for a second – at least I assumed he had reached the door. A moment later, it fell shut behind himself and I heard the lock click twice.
For a moment I missed magic. If magic had never disappeared I wouldn't be in this mess now. I closed my eyes, imagining a different life. I'd probably be married to Harry by now, living happily ever after in a small house with children and a dog, surrounded by the whole family.
But it wasn't to be. I knew that no one would find me. I was going to meet Smith the following day, but he wouldn't start looking for me for a few days. And Hermione – she wouldn't get worried for a week or two. We only met once a month, after all, unless special circumstances made it necessary to meet more often.
I thought of Harry once again but then I shook my head, banishing him from my thoughts. Instead I thought of her, of Camellia. Named, in a way, after two women who had given their lives for Harry. My most precious daughter who might never forgive me. And Harry – what would he think?
Camellia. Maybe he would understand the silent tribute to his own mother – from one flower to another.
Suddenly, I felt a tear trickle down my face. Why, I wondered, was I crying now? I hadn't cried when I'd drunken that tea. I hadn't cried when I'd left Camellia. I hadn't cried when I'd first discovered the plan. I hadn't cried when I'd lost magic. I hadn't cried when I'd first slept with Malfoy. I hadn't cried in a long time. Not since mom had died.
I don't know how long I sat there, crying. After what seemed like hours, I stopped crying and collected myself. It wouldn't do to seem weak. I began to raise my hand to wipe away my tears when I remembered that they were tied together. I closed my eyes and wondered how much time I had left. I knew it couldn't be much longer.
Then, suddenly, I heard the lock click again and the door bang against a wall.
"Well, well, well," the man said as he entered the room, "What have we here? A crying Weasley?" I couldn't see anything as I was blindfolded but I knew who it was anyways. I had spent more than ten years getting to know them all closely and I knew no one better than him.
I had gained their trust, spent countless nights with each of them and thus I knew that it had to be Malfoy. Still, I said nothing.
"So, Weasley, I see that your true colors are finally showing. I knew we should never have trusted you."
"As I recall, it was you who introduced me. He's going to be really angry. I really wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now."
"Well, I can assure you, yours aren't very cozy either. As a matter of fact, you won't need shoes for much longer."
I smirked a little but said nothing as he came closer. I couldn't help but wonder whether or not this really was the end. It didn't matter, anyways, I had done what I had come to do. I had rescued her.
"We'll find her again, you know that, don't you?" It seemed that he had gotten to know me, too.
"That's where you're wrong," I replied, trying to put as much of my hate and distaste into my words as possible. I nearly smiled as I knew that no matter what happened to me, they would never get to her again. At least I hoped they wouldn't.
"It doesn't matter whether you believe me or not. You won't live to see it anyways."
"Are you trying to scare me, Draco?" I asked, smiling a little, "I know you too well for that to work."
He came even closer and took off my blindfold. I blinked a couple of times as the light hit my eyes. Looking around I saw that we were in a factory of some sort. I took a deep breath and spat at him.
He simply wiped away my spit, "I can't believe that I let you into my house, into my bed."
I smirked up at him. Neither could I, to be honest. When Malfoy had first shown interest in me, I had played along. I had needed someone who would introduce me to all the right people. And Malfoy had done exactly that. Sharing his bed a few nights a week seemed like a small price to pay for all the information I could pass on. Still, I couldn't help but feel filthy no matter how often I told myself it was for the greater good.
"You know, it could have been very different." He said, sighing a little and for a second I thought that maybe he really did care about me, but then his cold mask returned and he scoffed, "Who am I kidding, you would have betrayed us eventually."
"She's just ten, Draco," I said, looking up at him defiantly, "I couldn't watch anymore. She's my daughter, for Merlin's sake."
"I know," the man replied, "Which is why I turned a blind eye when you visited her. I should have stopped you earlier."
"Maybe," I nodded, "But then she'd never have survived. You know that as well as I do. And you need her."
It doesn't matter," he smirked a little, "As I said, we'll find her again."
"So, what now?" I asked, smiling at him, "Are you going to be the one to kill me?"
He didn't answer, he just looked down at me, "You know, Ginerva," he said, suddenly, "I should have known that it was all about Potter. It was always about Potter with you."
I had nothing to reply to that. Malfoy was right – it was always about Harry. I did everything I did for Harry and now he'd never know. Maybe I should be thankful because he'd never find out what I had done. What I had had to do.
"It doesn't matter," Malfoy said, "Now, I need to know what, exactly, you know about our plan."
"Everything," I replied, smirking a little, "I finally figured it out, Draco. It took me long enough to put the pieces together, didn't it?"
"I must admit that I thought you'd have figured it out earlier." He smirked a little, "Why do you think she was always so sick? So weak?"
I had no response and so I simply shrugged, hoping beyond hope that someone might find me.
"You never could stop us from taking what was rightfully ours. It was our inheritance and your precious Potter took it from us. She had no right to it."
"Of course she had a right to it," I replied, scoffing, "Why on earth would it not be her right?"
"She's a dirty halfblood," the man said, nearly spitting, "Daughter of a blood traitor and a Muggle,"
"A Muggle?" I said, nearly laughing, "Oh, Draco, for heaven's sakes, you must have figured it out by now. She's yours. I even named her after your mother." I smiled but left out the true reason why I had done so. Why I had named her after the woman who had saved Harry and had been killed by an angry Death Eater after her pardon by the ministry.
"Mine?" the man asked, taking a step backwards, "How?"
"Do I need to explain it to you?" I asked, pulling up an eyebrow, "It doesn't matter anyways. You won't ever see her again."
"We'll see," he smirked, "I'll have you know that now that I know she has my blood flowing through her veins it will be easy to find her."
"You think I didn't know that? You don't think that I thought of all of this before I did something? I'll have you know that I placed charms on her that will make it impossible to detect her using spells."
"You used a vial?"
"As much as it disgusted me," I replied, narrowing my eyes, "I had to. You won't find her." I smiled a little, "You won't find her. And even if you do – she's protected."
"And I assume you will not tell me what I want to know?" he asked, leaning forwards.
"No," I shook my head, "I will never tell you."
"Who did you tell?" he asked, suddenly, "Who did you tell about the plan?"
"Well," I smirked, "I don't think I'll tell you. I'll die either way."
"Ah, but the difference," he said, suddenly, pulling out a knife, "Lies in the how. How do you want to die, Ginerva?"
"On my terms," I replied, smiling at him.
"What did you do?" he asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Ginerva," he said, shaking my shoulder, "What did you do?"
I didn't reply, I just sighed sadly, "You know, Draco, you aren't a bad man. You're just misguided."
He scoffed, "You don't believe that."
"You're right," I smirked a little, "I don't. But you know, my absence will be detected."
"Right, who will notice your absence?"
"People you don't want involved." I smiled a little, "I wrote letters because I knew that you'd catch me."
"You were waiting for us," he said, looking at me, "So, who were these letters addressed to?"
"Different people," I looked up at him, "You know as well as I do that you will never find all of the letters."
"What, exactly, did you put in these letters?" he asked, coming closer.
"I'm not going to tell you," I replied, smiling a little.
"Then, I am afraid, we have a problem," he smirked at me as he pulled out a knife, "Because I really, really want to know."
"Yes," I nodded, "I know. For that reason I had tea before I was taken."
"You think tea is going to help you?" the man before me scoffed a little before he picked up his knife and held it to my face, "What a shame, you have such a pretty face."
I smiled a little, "I think you've seen too many movies."
He sneered, "So, will you tell me?"
I made to spit again but he simply covered my mouth. I bit down on his hand, hard, which caused him to backhand me.
"Well?" I asked, "What are you afraid of? Do it already."
He smiled a little as he made a long cut down the side of my face. Immediately, I began to bleed. I could feel the blood run down the side of my face.
I laughed softly.
"What is your problem?" the man asked, making a second, deeper, cut.
"I can't feel it, Draco. As I said, I had tea."
"Well, it's going to wear off soon enough," Draco said, putting his knife down.
"Yes," I agreed, "But by that time I'll be dead."
Malfoy looked at me, "And you were a Gryffindor," he said, "You would have done well in Slytherin."
"Maybe," I agreed, "Be that as it may, it doesn't matter anymore. Neither Gryffindor nor Slytherin exists anymore."
"Exactly," Malfoy said, looking at me, "How could he do it? I knew him, I knew Potter. He loved magic. That must have been the only thing we had in common. How could he destroy it?"
"Harry loved magic," I agreed, "But there is one thing he loved more – humanity. He would never have sacrificed all these muggles and halfbloods and muggleborns for magic."
"And you, Ginerva, what would you have done?"
"I would have sacrificed magic in a heartbeat," I replied, looking up at my captor, "At least, today I would."
There had been days when I hated Harry for destroying my life. My world. But I knew that it was the right thing to do, no matter how much I missed magic.
"So you never did believe in our cause?" he asked, pulling up an eyebrow.
"Of course I believed in the cause," I replied, "I want magic back. I want my old life back. But Draco, there are boundaries which I would never cross. And what you did – what you did to Camellia – it had crossed the line by more than a thousand miles."
"Sometimes people have to be sacrificed for the greater good. In order for the community to live, sometimes, individuals have to be sacrificed."
"So you'd sacrifice your own daughter? And others like her? Who are you to make that choice – who gets to live and who is sacrificed."
"I am a Malfoy," he replied looking down at me in his superior manner and I couldn't help but smile a little.
"And how the mighty have fallen," I said, smiling a little.
"I have not fallen," he said, suddenly angry, "You will see, one day the Malfoy family will have its nae restored in a world ruled by magic. Or rather," he smirked at me, "You won't see because traitors like you have no place in the new world.
"Oh brave new world," I said, sarcastically, "You should know that this never works out the way you plan it to. You will be stopped."
"And who will stop me? Muggles? They don't even know about me. Your precious Potter? I heard that he's dead."
I laughed softly, "Oh, Harry is no more dead than you or I."
"So you know where he is?"
"No," I shook my head, "Only one person knows where Harry is."
"And who, pray tell, is that?" Malfoy asked, leaning down towards me.
"Harry," I replied, smirking.
"It doesn't matter," Malfoy shrugged, "One of these days we'll catch him. We're very patient people, us Slytherins, Potter on the other hand…well, he can be rather hot headed, can't he? And when they find your corpse, woefully mutilated…"
"You won't draw him out," I replied, smiling a little, "Because he's another person who would have done well in Slytherin."
"Maybe. Maybe not. It's worth a try anyways. We'll find him. And then he'll get what's been coming to him."
I smiled a little, "You will never be able to find Harry. Not even Voldemort could find him for months and he had a special connection with him." I said, mostly to cover my worries. Malfoy had a point. Maybe it would work – losing someone else might very well be the one thing he'd need to draw him out of hiding.
Hermione had taken months to convince him that it was necessary to go into hiding at least until they had more information about what was going on.
The last time I had seen Hermione, she had said that the time was coming close – that Harry wouldn't stay in hiding for much longer.
Once again my thoughts drifted to my daughter. Maybe Harry could take her along with him. If he had managed to stay hidden for so long he'd manage the same with my daughter.
Suddenly, I felt my head become a little lighter and my eyelids heavier. I smiled a little, knowing that it wouldn't be much longer.
He must have noticed, too, because he knelt down before me, "So, tell me, Ginerva, do you regret it? Do you regret killing yourself?"
"No," I shook my head, "It might seem like the coward's way out but at least this way I won't give anything away. I am ready to go."
"Are you?" he smirked a little, "And what if I was to tell you that we found the letter you hid for Harry?"
"It doesn't matter," I replied, though, of course, it did make everything harder, "You won't understand it. And I have contingency plans. It's not the only letter."
All of a sudden, he grabbed my head and lowered his lips onto mine. Forcing my mouth open, he inserted his tongue and kissed me thoroughly.
"What was that?" I asked, as I pulled away.
"A good bye," he said, smiling at me as he stood up, "You could have had it all, Ginerva. You could have been my wife, we could have been a family."
"A family," I scoffed, "We wouldn't have been a family," I said, smiling a little, "You don't know what it means to be a family."
"Maybe not," he conceded as I closed my eyes. My time was coming. I was not going to live for much longer.
He began to undress me, but I could no longer bring myself to care. I let my thoughts drift back to my childhood. As I closed my eyes, I could see the burrow. I was running around happily. My parents were watching over me from the kitchen, looking out the window, whilst my older brothers were playing Quidditch. Next to me, suddenly, a small girl appeared. Camellia.
"Camellia," I muttered, quietly, opening my eyes again. I found that I as completely naked and that Malfoy was holding his knife in his hand again. He was cutting open my belly and I noticed, with a strange detachedness that I was going to bleed out soon.
I looked up at him and saw that he was a little blurry. I wasn't sure what caused this – the blood loss or the poison I had taken.
I closed my eyes again and imagined a different future. One where I was still alive, where I was raising Camellia. The girl who was always so serious, whom I hadn't seen smile once in the last five years – she truly hadn't had much to smile about, I had to concede – was running around, laughing loudly.
The last time I opened my eyes, Malfoy was standing above me, the bloody knife discarded. "He'll get you, you know," I said, smiling.
I believe that Malfoy nodded, but I do not know for sure. Suddenly, my eyes were very heavy.
In those last few moments, I regretted killing myself. I had so much more to live for. I had so much more I had wanted to do. I let a single tear escape my eyes as I closed my eyes for the last time.
I should have held on, I should have had trust. I should have been there for my daughter. But, as I gasped for breath, I knew that it was too late. I was going to die, I knew, and the clearer I knew it, the more I began to fight against it. But, in the end, it didn't matter. It was over.
I took a last breath and I was so sure that I could smell flowers. Camellias and Lilies. And then, I felt a warm light engulf me and I felt lighter than I had felt in a very long time.
My last thoughts went out to Ron, Hermione, Harry and Camellia. Then, it was over. I was gone. For a moment longer, I let my presence linger in the room before I let myself be swept off to the next step in the journey.
It was time to move on. I had fought all my life. It was time to let go.
And so I let go. I let go of all my anger, my mistakes, my regrets, my shame. I let go of all hate. And I felt so incredibly light, so incredibly pure.
With one last loving thought towards everything I was leaving behind, I let the wind scatter me and my consciousness ceased to exist.