Disclaimer: Still don't own HSM...
Italics in beginning are flashback.
Linebreaks after the first two and last one are for change of setting.
Slightly relieved that this is finished now...I was depressing myself while writing it! But the ending isn't as tragic as I was originally going to make it because my sister was horrified when she found out how dark it was...definately, definately going to write something a bit lighter now--with Ryan being much kinder or at least nicer to Troy. Most likely Chyan, since they premiered the "I Don't Dance" music video which was AWESOME!! I LOVE arrogant Ryan...
By the way, I got about a hundred hits...but only two reviews...I'm not going to get all upset and say that everyone must review, but I would really like for people to just say what they're thinking! I know it's dark and depressing, but reviews are still appriciated. But thanks to everyone who did review, put it on their favorites/alert list! It does make me feel appriciated.
Explanations
By: StillThereForMe
Chapter 3/3
The blond smirked triumphantly. "It'll just be for fun. And I promise—the very second you miraculously realize you're absolutely completely straight, the second it doesn't feel good anymore I'll stop." Ryan kissed up Troy's neck to his ear. "The moment you think Gabriella could do better, you can walk out that door no strings attached."
That moment still hadn't arrived yet.
A week before the premiere of Twinkle Town, and Troy still couldn't even bring himself to put his shirt back on, much less walk out that door. He couldn't even walk over to that door.
"What's wrong with me?" Troy mumbled to himself.
"Hm? Problem, Troy?" Ryan asked from his black chair, feet now crossed at the ankle on top of the desk as he flipped through the script.
"Why do I keep coming back here?" Troy asked pathetically, twisting his shirt in his hands and feeling completely defeated—like an addict that realized they just can't stop using. "I always feel horrible after, but I keep coming back. I feel guilty looking at Gabriella and everyone, but I still can't even leave this stupid room knowing that. Why can't I just leave?"
"Because you're a fucking hypocrite." Ryan answered plainly, still focused on the script in his hands.
Troy turned around to stare at the Drama King, not excepting to receive such a blunt answer—or any answer really, he'd been thinking aloud. "What?"
Ryan looked up at the brown haired boy, and tossed the script back onto the desk. "You're a hypocrite. You're supposedly this great team leader, emperor of this whole damn school, yet you can't make one single decision unless you've got someone guiding you by the hand, telling you it's the right one. You're head over heels in love with Gabriella, ye you come in here after practically every rehearsal to fuck me. You tell everyone else to be themselves and not care what anybody else thinks, to chase their wildest dreams down into the sky, but the truth is you have no fucking clue who you are or what you want, do you?"
Troy sunk down to his knees, suddenly feeling too tired and dizzy to stand. He hadn't thought Ryan loved him or anything, but he still couldn't believe Ryan could insult him like that so easily. He didn't totally believe Ryan when he said sex was completely unrelated to love—he'd assumed it had in some weird way brought them to at least friends with benefits or something. But Troy didn't ever remember being criticized so harshly before, much less by a friend. And he couldn't think of any defense for himself against what Ryan said. That probably wasn't a good sign. He was just getting more and more confused.
"If you think I'm that horrible, than why the hell did you start this whole damn thing with me? What the hell are you getting out of this if you can "replace" me so easily?" Troy demanded, almost feeling pathetically like crying but he was so confused over everything. He hadn't cried since he was twelve, when his dog died.
When did he become this mixed up? Was he that hormonal a teenager that he's just really sleeping with whoever was offering? Oh god…what the hell was going to happen if Gabriella found out? Or Chad? Or his dad! Why hadn't he thought of all of this before? What was so fucking wrong with him to let it get this far?
Ryan stood up from the black chair, grabbing Troy's attention out of his downward spiral of thoughts. The blond had a sickly sweet smile on his face that Troy could swear he must've taken from Sharpay's face. Ryan pulled his shirt over his head slowly and dropped it on the ground behind him. Troy hated how even when he felt like crap he could still find Ryan's body arousing. The feeling made him want to stab his own eyes out. Ryan held open his arms as he looked down at the self-loathing playmaker.
"Troy Bolton, welcome to my revenge." Ryan announced triumphantly smiling.
If it hadn't been for the fact that Ryan's eyes were dead serious, Troy would've probably found the line funny. Yet the with the condescending grin and the icy blue gazed at him, Troy could only stare for a moment. Not speak, not breathe—just stare. He wasn't even sure his blood was moving through his veins. The universe had just been ripped out from under him. All this time he'd been feeling guilty, he knew he had no one to blame but himself. The fact that he could barely bring himself to look at Gabriella and his friends now and not think of what he was hiding from them was karmatic guilt for making that secret exist. That he deserved not being able to sleep some nights because he was the one walking back to that dressing room for "practice." Gabriella's innocent face smiling at him was breaking his heart because he loved her but couldn't control his body around Ryan—all this time, he had not once even thought that Ryan was at fault. He thought this all was just something that had happened, and Troy was the only person dragging it out so he was the only one to blame for all of it. But now…someone had actually wanted him to feel like this? Ryan was happy at how confused he was, had planned on it?
"What?" Troy wasn't even sure he spoke—he may have just mouthed the word, he still wasn't breathing.
"My revenge Troy." Ryan continued as he strutted over and squatted down to eye-level with the basketball star. "The reason I could stand to have your dick pounding in me again and again without getting sick. For this moment, right now. You have no idea how long I've been looking forward to finally getting to watch this beautiful breakdown of yours. It's been so overdue."
"I don't get it…" Troy felt like his mind had just stopped working, like Ryan was speaking a different language. "Revenge? For what…? I don't…"
"Of course, Goldenboy wouldn't know what he was guilty of! If he did, it'd be that much easier to deal with Mr. Perfect. He wouldn't be modest or a good guy if he knew what a horrible person he was being, now would he?" Ryan spat mockingly, before his face turned darkly serious and voice lowered to an almost growl. "Newsflash Bolton, my body isn't the only thing of mine you haven't been able to keep your paws off of. You stole my part, my sister, my whole fucking world has become all about the Wonderful Troy motherfucking Bolton! And I'm sick, and tired of it. I'm sick of everyone worshiping the ground you walk on. I've had it up to here with you being the supreme god of this whole damn school. You really have done nothing to deserve it! So you're some sort of basketball prodigy—whoop-de-friggin-doo! Who cares? You're not smart, you're not that talented in anything else, so why does everyone love you so god damn much? Why do people fawn all over you when you do the littlest thing? Why do you get to just crush and ruin everyone else's lives because you want to try something new? Why does everyone just bend over backwards to suit your latest whim—regardless of those years and years of hard work other people have dedicated before? Everything just gets handed to you! Who cares of where it's coming from! I just can't stand it anymore. I want everything you took from me back—I want my main role back, I want my sister back, I want my UN-Troy Bolton infested world back! But I can't have that, now can I? Ms. Darbus already casted your talentless ass for lead, my sister's still fucking infatuated with you though I can't for the life of me understand why, and you aren't leaving this world anytime soon are you? So, before I went fucking crazy, I decided to do something about it and even the score by taking something from you."
"What?" Troy breathed shakily.
Ryan moved closer to the tanned boy, smiling again. "That's what I wondered about for a while too. There isn't much I can do to you without Sharpay noticing and hating me for it—and doing something to Gabriella would just push you closer to her and then I'd never be able to take my sister back. Then it just came to me what the perfect payback would be. If the world can't tell what a pathetic loser you are, then the least I could do was let you see that. Let you know how annoying it is to be constantly surrounded by you all the time. You stole my world, so now because of me, your world's gonna fall apart." Ryan moved to nibble on Troy's ear again.
Troy laughed bitterly. "So, what? You're stealing my sanity?"
"If I'm lucky." Ryan laughed dryly. "No, I was just aiming to take away that sense of entitlement you seem to live by. Take away that perfect little world of yours. Though if you want to go crazy, by all means, feel free." Ryan moved to place hot kisses and small bites on the side of the boy's neck.
Troy gave a harsh short laugh before he brutally shoved Ryan onto the floor—hard enough to hear the back of Ryan's head hit against the wood beneath the carpet that covered the room. He held there by the shoulders, resisting the strong urge he had to grab the blond's neck or rip off his pants.
"Not one of those things I did to you on purpose!" Troy shouted angrily at the paler boy, whose eyes were still squinted in pain from the throbbing on the back of his head. "How could you make me do all these things as payback? You know I would never—!"
"I didn't force you to do a goddamn thing Bolton." Ryan spat back, as calm as ever. "Everything you did you did of your own free will. You fucked me because you wanted to. You cheated on Gabriella because you thought you could get away with it. The only thing you could possibly blame me for is not stopping you—which would just prove my whole fucking point! You just feel entitled to get everything you want; you need someone to actually tell you when you shouldn't."
"No! I…that's not—shut up!" Troy yelled, confused again and shut his eyes. The more Ryan spoke, the more his words made sense…and the worse Troy felt about himself.
"You're crying." Ryan stated plainly, moving a hand up to wipe away the other's tears apathetically. "You're like a little kid."
Troy grabbed Ryan's wrist and held it above the blond boy's head as he glared. "Stop talking!" He felt like a child.
"You know how to shut me up." Ryan grinned conceitedly. "Just like you know that you can still leave this room, and even after all this supposed guilt you're feeling, you're just ignoring that fact."
"If you hate me that much, then why the hell would you still want to sleep with me if this was the big finale for your revenge?" Troy asked stalling, face feeling hot and wet and he hated it.
Ryan rolled his eyes. "You think way too fucking much, but you're also really stupid." Ryan pushed Troy off of him and stood. He stared down at the playmaker lying on the ground. "Playing prude now would be letting you off easy. I'd be making your decision for you, the one you obviously still don't want to think about. But I'm not going to do that. So, what's it going to be Troy? I'm haven't told anyone what's been going on in here, and I don't plan on doing it. It's much more fun to watch you squirm. So, now you know why I'm doing all of this, what's your move? Do you want to stop all this and run off to your pretty Eisteinette and pretend you're still Mr. Perfect with all your friends and fawning fans? Or I guess you could tell them, which would be interesting to see how they'd react to what you've been doing. Especially your dad."
"What's my other option?" Troy asked mumbling as he weakly pushed himself into a sitting position.
"We could keep having the fun we're having in here." Ryan answered casually.
"But that doesn't change anything!" Troy protested and stood up.
"Nope, but it's much more enjoyable, right? Plus, you don't have to think or decide anything, which I know is something that you love." Ryan explained as he approached the playmaker.
"I love Gabriella."
"I know."
"I don't want to hurt her."
"I know."
"I should leave."
"Probably." Ryan nodded, gently pushed the basketball star against the wall and kissed him despite the tears still rolling down the taller boy's face.
"So why the fuck am I staying?" Troy whispered as he rubbed his hands down the side of the boy kissing him.
"Like I said, you're a hypocrite."
"I hate you." Troy kissed the blond boy back deeply, finally giving up.
"I'm honored." Ryan grinned as he shoved a skilled hand down the other boy's boxers. "And the feeling's mutual."
Troy arrived an hour late for his dinner date at Gabriella's house. His clothes were a mess and his eyes were blotchy and red. Gabriella was annoyed as she answered the door but face immediately changed to worry when she saw the state her boyfriend was in.
"Troy, what happened?" The dark haired girl quickly asked as she ushered him into the house and onto one of the couches in her living room. "I tried to call you a bunch of times, but you weren't picking up. And what happened to your clothes? You look horrible, are you okay?"
"I'm so sorry." Troy whispered as he stared at the ground, unable to meet the girl's face.
"Troy, it's okay. We can heat up the leftovers or something later," Gabriella explained placing an arm around the boy's shoulders, waving her mom away with a free hand for privacy which her mother gave by returning to the kitchen. "Right now I'm more worried about you. What kept you? Is everything okay?"
Troy shook his head and then rested it in his hands. "I'm so, so sorry Gabriella." He repeated as a mumble, face getting hot as he felt the tears from earlier returning.
"Troy, is this about the dinner?" Gabriella pushed, leaning over to try and look him in the eye. "What's wrong? Is it your dad?"
"No." Troy shook his head, and started whimpering, trying hard to fight back the urge to cry.
"Troy! Troy, what's wrong? Tell me what happened so I can help!" Gabriella rubbed his back, starting to slightly panic. She had never seen her boyfriend like this. Recalling where he had gone after rehearsal, she then asked "you were going over lines with Ryan, right?" She felt Troy's body suddenly froze and guessed she must be close. "Did you guys have a fight?"
Troy slowly turned his head to look at her, and Gabriella's heart broke at how broken and hopeless he looked. Then he suddenly shot out an arm and pulled her close to him. He held her tightly and rested his head on her shoulder and finally let go sobbing into her chest.
"I'm really really sorry Gabriella…" Troy choked out. "Please forgive me."
"Forgive what Troy? Troy, what happened?" Gabriella worriedly rubbed his back, holding him awkwardly over her lap, at a loss for what to do.
Troy's arms around her suddenly grasped her closer, as if she were his lifeline and letting go would kill him. "I love you Gabriella. You have to understand that. I love you. I really do, I love you Gabriella."
"I do know. I love you too, Troy, but what's wrong? Talk to me." Gabriella pleaded, starting to feel like crying herself. It was as if Troy couldn't hear her. "Please, tell me what's going on."
"I love you Gabriella, please forgive me." Troy whispered over and over again like a prayer. "I couldn't help it. I didn't want to. I don't know what's wrong with me…But I really do love you. God I love you so much Gabriella. Please don't leave me. I love you."
"Troy…" Gabriella breathed, running a hand through her crying boyfriend's hair. "…what did you do?"
"I love you." Troy cried, everything else he mumbled unintelligible.
"I love you too, Troy." Gabriella kissed the top of his head. "What happened to you…?"
"Ryan, do you have any idea how late you are?" Sharpay interrogated immediately when her brother walked into their rehearsal room. "I was expecting you hours ago to rehearse! What in the world took you so long?"
"I'm sorry." Ryan said with a smile that confused his sister. He walked to hug her from behind and with a kiss to her cheek, presented her with a small box in pink wrapping paper in one of his hands. "I stopped by to pick something up for you."
"You got me a gift!" Sharpay exclaimed excited. "Oh! What did you get me? What is it?"
"Open it and see." Ryan smiled, resting his head on her shoulder.
"Let go of my waist so I can move and I will!" Sharpay teased her brother, wriggling out of his hug.
"Okay," Ryan put his hands up in surrender and followed her slowly as she went over to the table in the corner of the room.
Ryan watched from a few steps away as she excitedly tore of the fancy pink wrapper. Her eyes wide in anticipation and her smile grew when she saw the elaborate Tiffany's box beneath the paper. He couldn't contain the grin on his own face, knowing she was going to be extremely happy when she saw what he got her.
"The earrings!! I've been wanting these for FOREVER! Oh my god I can't believe you got them!" The blond girl shrieked in glee and ran over to jump into her brother's arms, giving him a nearly-strangling hug. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!! Thank you soooo much!"
Ryan laughed and spun her around once before setting her back down. "You are more than welcome. I had hoped you'd like them. I thought they'd match that blue dress you got a week ago—with the rhinestones?" Ryan place his hands on her shoulders, looking at the box from over her shoulder.
"OH! These would go perfectly with that! Okay, I am so wearing that for the dance now! I am going to look amazing!" Sharpay giggled and smiled widely looking at the small box. After a moment or two, her excitement died down a bit and she turned to look at her brother. "Not that I'm not thrilled with the gift—which believe me I am thrilled—why'd you get these for me?" Her face suddenly turned serious. "Don't you dare think this excuses you being late for our rehearsal, because you are still in trouble for that! Beautiful earrings do not excuse you being three hours late for our practice without even a call!"
"I know, I know," Ryan stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets, still with a smile on his face. "I only went to get those about an hour ago, and it's just because I wanted to get you something. I felt like seeing you smile because I wanted to—and maybe to make you a little less angry when I came back so late. But I'll stay up rehearsing all night with you if you want me to. I'll take whatever punishment you give. I just wanted to make you happy."
Sharpay giggled as she set the box down on the table. "What's got you in such a good mood?"
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked innocently.
"It's just that Gabriella called before." Sharpay mentioned slowly, picking up the wrapping paper and crumbling it all into one ball.
"She did?"
"Yeah, she said Troy showed up late for their dinner date, and he was really upset." Sharpay continued as she walked over to the trash bin with the wrapping paper, watching Ryan in the corner of her eye.
"Really? Why was he so upset?" Ryan looked curiously at his sister.
Sharpay turned around fully to face her brother. "Do you know why?" Ryan shrugged, and Sharpay stared her brother in the eye for a moment, not saying anything. She then looked away and walked back towards the table and her earrings. "He wouldn't tell her. Gabriella thought that maybe you two had gotten into a fight or something."
"Well yeah, we had a little argument but I didn't think he'd be that upset over it." Ryan shrugged the hidden accusation off. "He really needs a lot of help with his acting ability—and he hasn't improved his dancing that much either."
"Careful Ryan, your envy is showing."
Ryan turned to stare at her, mouth dropped, before moving to trap her against the table with his arms. "Would you rather be practicing here with Troy Bolton instead of me?"
Sharpay pretending to think for a minute. "Well, he is The Troy Bolton you know…"
Ryan's face fell. "Sharpay…"
The blond girl playfully hit his arm. "I'm just kidding, Ryan. Nobody, not even Troy Bolton, could replace you." She smiled at her brother.
"You promise?" Ryan asked seriously.
"Yes, I promise Ryan." Sharpay exaggerated her answer with a grin.
Ryan smiled widely with relief and pulled his sister into a hug. "Thanks Shar…I love you."
Sharpay giggled. "I love you too Ryan. Now what's all this about?" She pushed herself back a little and looked up to his face.
"What's what?" Ryan asked curiously.
"Why are you getting so sentimental all of a sudden?" She asked suspiciously.
"Is there something wrong with feeling sentimental?" Ryan feigned being hurt.
Sharpay laughed. "Fine! Keep your secrets!"
"I will." Ryan smiled victoriously. "Want to start rehearsing?"
"Since you're three hours late, I'd think we'd better!" Sharpay threw her hands up in the air heading over to the sound system. "We can't afford to get lazy now that we have actual competition! We can't let Troy and Gabriella beat us out at the next auditions!"
"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem." Ryan mumbled to himself with the smirk.
And that's it! Thanks for reading, and I'd really appriciate it if you'd review! I'm going to go write something happier now...