Author's Note: Not much to say, except, like the last one, this chapter was written over the course of two days. I hope that doesn't take anything out of it. Enjoy.
Star Dancer
Part Three: Show Me Everything
I want to learn. I want to learn Star Dancer magic—
Kakyuu stopped thinking abruptly, recalling her thought of Star Dancers and being able to read minds. She wanted to make sure Galaxia came to her decision of her own will, not having to agree if Kakyuu ordered her to do so—she didn't want it to seem like a chore.
The galaxy Star Dancer had begun walking in a large circle—pacing, thinking? She had an unreadable look on her face, and it was impossible for Kakyuu to tell which side she was leaning towards—and then Kakyuu realized there was a distinct possibility the Star Dancer might refuse. She had not considered it, had only thought of what might happen when Galaxia agreed—but she did not take into account what she would do if the Star Dancer declined.
Kakyuu was attempting to remove the seedling of hope that had grown in her mind, not so much succeeding, when she heard the light footsteps of Galaxia approaching her. "Princess."
She looked up carefully into the Star Dancer's guarded eyes. She heard the voice as Galaxia asked, "This is what you wish?" And that hope, that she had almost-just-succeeded in pushing away from herself, it came back in full force. Kakyuu wrestled with the feeling a moment before she lifted her head. The Kinmoku Crystal, she heard it singing in her mind, and it was what provoked her—it and the suddenly very tangible dream—to answer, softly, "Yes."
Galaxia appeared almost thoughtful, as she sat slowly on the stone floor and gestured for Kakyuu to do the same. Numbly, the princess followed suit, folding her hands across her lap. What could she think now?
"Do you—" the Star Dancer began, thought better of it. "Can you touch your magic?"
Kakyuu blinked, for a moment surprised. "I have magic?" But of course, she must—how else could she have dived into the heart of the Star of Stars and survive most of its energy?
"Every species that hosts a Star Dancer crystal has some small innate magic," Galaxia explained—Kakyuu suspected this was the beginning of one of her undoubtedly many lessons upon the doings of Star Dancers, and their magic, and their way of life. "Few, if any, are able to properly connect to such magic if they have not touched a crystal born of the core of a planet or moon or the heart of a star. The crystals serve as a—a gateway to the power.
"You have proven your mettle at withstanding the force belonging to the Star of Stars. However—you allowed the energy to come into you, instead of simply touching it. You bypassed the point where your own magic could have awakened; otherwise, there would have been more resistance to the Heart of the Galaxy besides your own mind." Galaxia eyed her. "You understand?"
Kakyuu sat very still, playing the words over in her mind. "You want me—to touch the magic. Not…throw myself in." That was the closest phrase she could think of to describe what she'd done, diving into the Star of Stars, letting it swallow her and consume her in its wild energy—
The Star Dancer nodded once, interrupting the direction of Kakyuu's thoughts. The princess of Kinmoku stared down at her hands, recalling the feel of the Saffer Crystal; how smooth, how warm it was, the fluttering pulse to it that reminded her distinctly of a heart's beating. Slowly, she nodded, glancing to take in the image of the sapphire jewel, so docile. She steeled herself and stretched out her hand, willing it not to shake, and laid her palm against the surface of the crystal.
Almost at once the galaxy gem reacted; Kinmoku was swept away and Kakyuu stood once more before the gigantic Star of Stars. She would not let it control her, no matter how the song wove through this great expanse of space, rolling through the star-filled clouds. She kept one hand firmly at her side; the other, she reached out with, daring to drift closer to the star, to feel its heat on her face.
And as she held out her hand to the Star of Stars, she was aware of a light, a beautiful, white-gold light that flowed about the greatest star in the galaxy—and yet she knew, with fearsome clarity, that this light did not belong to the Star of Stars. This light was of another nature—familiar, strikingly similar to the star, but it was not the same as the fiery light that the star bathed the area surrounding it in.
Kakyuu hesitantly passed her hand through the strange light, and it filled her with such happiness, such warmth, that she couldn't help but smile. It clustered about her consolingly, and she got the feeling it wanted to help her—whatever it was. She let it wash over her, comforting her; then she pushed onwards, and her fingers passed through the light and straight into the fire that composed the Star of Stars.
She was burning again and yet not. The light shielded her, for the most part, and so she only felt that tingling sensation run down her arm and fill her, as if a tendril of flame had escaped the star and had now attached itself to her; she could feel the warmth of the inner flame radiating from her body. Is this what magic feels like?
Kakyuu pulled herself away from the Star of Stars before the song could convince her to leap. The light followed after her for a moment, circling about her almost anxiously. "It's all right," she told it softly. "I'm all right." Well, her arm was somewhat numb, but that was better than what one could expect for sticking your hand into a star. She smiled when she felt that glow, that radiant little spark that the galaxy star had unearthed in her. She was better than all right. "Magic—I have magic!"
And she came back to herself suddenly; the loss of the light's warmth was like the skies had opened up and begun raining on her. But the sunlight of Kinmoku was warm, and Kakyuu let her hand fall from the Saffer Crystal, its song dimming in her mind once her contact with it was gone.
Galaxia's voice filtered into her ears. "You know your own magic now, yes? What is it like?"
Kakyuu didn't have to think. "Like a flame," she replied—"Almost like the heart of the star, but…warmer. Brighter." She wasn't sure if she was explaining it very well, but the Star Dancer nodded as if she understood—but then again, Galaxia's power did come from a star…
"Now that you know your own magic—what is it you wish to learn?"
Kakyuu clasped her hands together, looking into the Star Dancer's eyes, fighting with an impossible question. It came from her mouth anyways, because the crystal and the magic and the light had dazzled her too much to keep her thoughts to herself. "Could you—could you show me everything?" A daunting request, but…the Star Dancer was the most powerful of them all. Surely she could…?
Galaxia studied Kakyuu for a long moment, and Kakyuu feared that perhaps the Star Dancer had changed her mind—and so she was so pathetically relieved when the star-warrior's next words were, "Then we shall begin with your namesake—a fireball."
Fire was good. Better than nothing. Kakyuu nodded quickly, watching with interest as the Star Dancer stood, signaling she should follow. Once standing, Galaxia explained, "I am certain you have noticed the amount of symbols used in Star Dancer magic. For now, you need not know the reasoning behind them—you need simply know that they help direct your magic. This is the sign for 'fireball'." She traced an outline in the air, a symbol that somehow embodied the nature of a fireball, born from the sparks of a flame, burning and dancing and filled with light.
Sparks danced away from her fingers and the moment the drawing in the air was complete, it flashed gold and a fireball blossomed in Galaxia's hand, dancing merrily. All in a matter of seconds.
Kakyuu gaped. And then she forced herself to pay attention, watching the movements of Galaxia's hands as she demonstrated again, more slowly. Kakyuu fixed the motions in her mind's eye. She closed her eyes, tried to center herself, tried to think of that little inner flame the Star of Stars had given to her. She opened her eyes.
Carefully, she followed the dancing lines of the symbol, tracing it into the air as she had seen Galaxia do; she focused on the magic within her, thought Fireball harshly for added effect. She watched as the symbol flared up a flame-red—a strange contrast to the gold of Galaxia's runes—and then—
Nothing.
Kakyuu stared at her palms in disbelief. Where was the fire? Maybe—maybe she'd seen a very, very small puff of smoke. It might not have been actually there, but—that didn't change the fact that nothing had happened. No fireball, no sparks, nothing.
Just a possibly-not-there puff of smoke.
Kakyuu frowned. Maybe she'd been a little too slow? She sucked in a breath, thought of the motions again, tugged insistently on that fire within. She more or less made it through the second time faster, if not a little jerky in the tracing of the sign. Once more it flared up red.
And once more, there was nothing but a (slightly, just a little bit bigger) small plume of smoke rising from between her hands. Not even a little cascade of sparks—not even tiny embers!
Maybe I'm doing this wrong, she thought to herself. Maybe I…got the hand motions wrong. There's got to be something I'm not doing right. She fixed her gaze on Galaxia. "Could you show me again?" she asked meekly. "…Slower?"
This time Kakyuu focused intently on how the Star Dancer formed the symbol for Fireball. She watched, and she corrected any tiny, tiny mistakes she'd made in the working of the spell. Not many, she'd remembered fairly decently for seeing it only twice the first time around. She watched as the sparks danced and burst into flame so that the orb of fire seemed as if it were consuming Galaxia's hand; she watched as the Star Dancer released the magic, and the fireball fizzled away into nothingness, leaving behind a small trail of smoke.
Kakyuu took a deep breath, cleared her mind. Had she thought of anything that might have thrown the magic off track? Perhaps. She thought, very singularly, on the way the spell was designed, how each hand motion led to the next. She made sure she knew every single little movement. And, carefully, she let her hands follow those thoughts, and she tried to will that little flame inside her to leap out to her hands, to burst into radiant fiery life, to complete her spell.
The Fireball rune glowed red against the air. She was prepared for the flash as it dissolved, leaving a nondescript plume of smoke in its place. The smoke was getting bigger, wasn't it? She tried to convince herself that it was. She wanted to believe it was, wanted to believe she could work the magic.
Her own failure was still staring her right in the face.
Her shoulders slumped. She sat down heavily on the ground and stared at the curved edges of the cobblestones. She went through the motions one more time—the same result. Smoke, nothing more. Certainly not a fireball. Kakyuu sighed heavily; and even with her own thoughts piling up—Am I not good enough? Is this all an illusion, that I actually have magic? Maybe…maybe I'm not so special after all…—she could hear Galaxia sitting opposite her, and she almost couldn't bear to look into the Star Dancer's face, to see what emotion lay in her eyes.
But she did; and she was startled by the kindness that flickered in the depths of Galaxia's eyes—she had expected something closer to pity, that Kakyuu could not perform what appeared to be a simple spell, or anger—but no, there would not have been anger. Anger did not seem to be a part of the Star Dancer's psyche.
"Why—" Kakyuu broke off; fiddled with her hands a moment before speaking again. "Why do you look at me with such kindness? I—I couldn't make a fireball light. I couldn't do it! …I failed. I failed, so why are you looking at me like I haven't done anything wrong at all?" She wasn't sure what to feel, in the face of this unprepared emotion. All the while her mind was screaming Why, why?
Galaxia smiled faintly. "You do not understand magic," she said softly, "if you believe that it can be learned in a day. It takes practice and repetition. You have crossed the most important boundary—unlocking your own magic. You should now realize that every Star Dancer residing in this galaxy has been where you are. Even I."
"You?" Kakyuu stared, shaking her head. "Not even you—you said you were created to be a Star Dancer. Doesn't that mean that you already know how to use all of your magic?"
Galaxia raised an eyebrow. "Knowing of the magic and actually using it are two different things." A strange look passed across her face. "Perhaps—it would be better to show you, instead, of the first time I attempted magic." She reached out, and, as she had done when Kakyuu had asked how she had known of the princess's dream of being a Star Dancer, brushed the tips of her fingers against Kakyuu's forehead. Accompanying the now-familiar tingling sensation were images, sound—and Kakyuu understood, as the images grew to surround her, that she was watching a memory.
Galaxia was standing in a landscape of rock; she was young, a child, the bracelets on her wrists almost too large for her, the tiny white wings spread at her back similar to the fake wings Kakyuu had seen as a child (and was guilty of wearing, too, for all children who had seen a Star Dancer wished to pretend to be one) The circlet emblazoned with the symbol of the galaxy sat haphazardly on Galaxia's head, as if she were unused to wearing it.
As Galaxia turned slightly Kakyuu realized abruptly that this was no planet, as she had been thinking of it as. It was a very large rock, an asteroid, hovering somewhere in the inner spiral of the galaxy, for Kakyuu could see, silhouetted behind the child Star Dancer, the great bulk of the Star of Stars, burning away, and the deep darkness of space and the tiny white pinpricks of light that were smaller stars hovering about everywhere. The spiral pattern of the galaxy was not evident from here; all that could be seen were the clouds of stardust.
Galaxia tilted her head, as if listening to a voice only she could hear—perhaps it was the Star of Stars, Kakyuu thought, but she would have to ask the Star Dancer herself. Perhaps she had, indeed, learned her magic from the star that had birthed her crystal and, truly, herself as well, as she was a "created" Star Dancer.
The little Star Dancer turned to face the rock, her face set into fierce concentration. She lifted her hands, tracing a design into the space before her that Kakyuu knew, not sure how, but she knew that the particular symbol meant Light. And that, after all, did make sense, for Galaxia was truly a star's Star Dancer, and that aligned her with light and fire. Kakyuu watched as the symbol—all wavy and indistinct, as the nature of light seems to be—gleamed bright gold, a sudden brightness to contrast the dark of deep space.
But that single flash of golden light signifying the spell's completion was the only light that Kakyuu could see. There was nothing like the massive outpouring of light that older Galaxia had shown to Kakyuu before. The asteroid was still and dark; and the child stood still too, her wings fluttering faintly, glowing in the radiance from the galaxy star at her back.
The tiny Star Dancer frowned once, fleetingly; before a determined look crossed her face. She tried again, and Kakyuu was getting the odd feeling of knowing what was going to happen next, from her own failure. The flash of gold lit up the craters pitted into the surface of the space rock from meteorite collisions or other asteroids. The dark of space was still dark; with the only light that of the distant and near stars.
Kakyuu watched as the girl glanced back to stare at the Star of Stars—needing assurance, perhaps? Her wings flicked again from her shoulders, white feathers dyed yellow-orange by the light of the giant star. Galaxia reached up to lightly touch the Saffer Crystal, which Kakyuu could see was not as large as the one in the present, though indeed it did seem larger than one might think on the child, in the same way the bracelets appeared bigger.
The touch of the crystal must have given her comfort, or spurred on her drive to use her magic, because Galaxia readied herself and cast the light spell a third time. Kakyuu strained her eyes to see after the spell rune died away—was there a spark? Had she seen something very small that had soon been lost to the darkness all around, consumed by the much brighter lights of the stars?
Galaxia was staring very intently at the air in front of her. Had she seen it too? The Star Dancer's eyes narrowed sharply, and the look on her face was something close to anger—at herself? Kakyuu suddenly saw that she knew why the girl was angry; she was a created Star Dancer, this was her sole duty, to be a Star Dancer, to protect the galaxy with her magic, and surely that meant that she should be able to use her magic. Galaxia could not see why she could not master her magic easily, if this was what she was made to do.
Her fourth attempt was still no better; and now Galaxia clenched her fists, her wings flapping wildly before subsiding to fold at her shoulders. Kakyuu could see she was trying to calm herself; it was strange, to see Galaxia close to a state of anger when the older Star Dancer Kakyuu knew had never displayed anything like it.
And yet, clearly, the fact that her magic was unwilling to immediately cooperate was a fact that very much so frustrated the child Star Dancer.
Kakyuu watched the girl go through the motions one more time—she could almost see the thoughts in Galaxia's mind written on her face, how if it didn't work one more time she was going to do something, something she'd likely regret—
The golden symbol faded into nothingness, and the recesses of space, blacker than the blackest night on Kinmoku, were still as dark as ever. The little Star Dancer's spell had failed once more.
Now, at last, true anger blazed in the child Galaxia's eyes; her hands curled into firsts and then released, her eyes narrowing till they were little more than slits. She reached across to her right bracelet, her hand covering the sapphire gem set into the gold, and she pulled—
With a rush the images were gone, shattering like glass into the sunlight of Kinmoku shining down on them; and Kakyuu thought of the memory shown to her. It was surprising to see anger in Galaxia; but then again, she had also been much, much younger, and children were more given to anger than anyone.
Galaxia had tried the light spell five times, and she had failed. Kakyuu had only performed the fireball spell four times and not succeeded. Of course, it was easy for a child to make mistakes—was it so much for someone so much closer to an adult? Kakyuu tried to escape the heavy weight of her failure to utilize Star Dancer magic and focused instead on the end of the memory, how the little Galaxia had removed one of her bracelets. Kakyuu had not seen the outcome—the memory had faded too quickly—but she imagined it was not a good thing.
Her eyes found the thick golden bracelets adorning the Star Dancer's wrists. What were they for? "Galaxia," she questioned, "what do these do?" Daring, she reached across and tapped one of the bracelets; and the cold of it was surprising—they had been sitting in the sunlight for some time, surely the gold would have warmed? And yet, it was as if it were crystallized ice.
Galaxia twisted one bracelet around and around. "They are known as limiters," she answered, studying the blue gem on the bracelet that was identical to the Saffer Crystal, only smaller in size. "When a Star Dancer joins to a crystal and gains her wings, often the power given to her is too great to immediately control. The limiters are in place so that the Star Dancer can gradually learn to control her entire power. It is considered a…rite of passage when you are able to walk freely without your limiters."
"You say it's a rite of passage…but if so, shouldn't you have already passed by this time, if you've had your magic since birth?" To be honest, Kakyuu wasn't sure if birth was the right word, but she used it anyways. "Why are you still wearing them now?"
"Such is the nature of great power," Galaxia smiled sadly. "Truthfully, I have little control over the full range of my magic. It is—it is too much, as you said. And—if I walked amongst the galaxy with my limiters off, I would likely destroy more than half of the galaxy's inhabited planets just by being near them. Think of the Star of Stars, Princess. You retained your sense of self, but the Star of Stars' energy was too immense for you to do anything about it. It is…something like that. The limiters keep my power at…less than half its full potential. Perhaps less than a quarter. So that I will not destroy planets, so that the galaxy will not die."
"Have you—ever taken them off? Both of them at the same time?" Kakyuu was curious; surely Galaxia had, if she knew what the full might of her power was like. Kakyuu had almost witnessed what half the power of the Star of Stars looked like, but the Star Dancer had cut off the memory before she could have seen what removing the bracelets—limiters—did.
"Once. But I was—desperate then. I felt I had no other choice. Given the choice, I would do it again, but—" the Star Dancer closed her eyes briefly. "It is—not a good feeling, to not be in control of your own power."
"Why would you do it, then?" Kakyuu tilted her head slightly. "What—what happened?"
"That," Galaxia shook her head briefly, "is a story for another time." She began to stand, and it was in that moment that Kakyuu remembered the light she'd seen in the Saffer Crystal. Galaxia should know what it was, shouldn't she? "What—what about the light?"
"Light?" Confusion flashed across the star-warrior's face.
"The light—when I was in the Saffer Crystal, reaching out to the Star of Stars—there was this…light." Kakyuu knew she wasn't doing a good job of explaining when the look on Galaxia's face did not falter as the Star Dancer said, "All stars exude light, and the Star of Stars even more so."
"No! It was—near the Star of Stars, around it, but the light didn't come from the star! It was—there, but it wasn't a part of the light from the galaxy star. It was—different but similar, and it…wanted to help me." Of that, she was sure. "It kept me from burning when I plunged my hand into the Star of Stars. It—the light helped me."
And now, now, she saw the light of recognition flicker in Galaxia's eyes. The Star Dancer knew what the light was—but all she would say—again—"That too is a tale for another time."
Kakyuu sighed. Apparently, she had a knack for stumbling upon things she should not know. Not yet, anyways, if what Galaxia was telling her was to be believed. She looked at her hands, abstractedly tracing the symbol for Fireball in the air. The flash of red left behind the now-usual little puff of smoke, and the smallest ember of pale orange, glowing on Kakyuu's palm for the briefest moment before flickering out, leaving her to wonder if she'd even seen it at all.
It didn't really matter, anyways—she was not as far gone as she'd thought; she could use magic, and that was something even most people couldn't do. She would work for it, she would try as hard as she could, and someday, that fireball would light. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not the next week. But Kakyuu would get there. She would.
She calmed herself and looked to the Star Dancer sitting across from her. Galaxia had offered her the gateway to her dream. Someday, Kakyuu told herself, she would repay the star-warrior for this gift. It was more than she could have ever imagined.
"Galaxia," she said, "could you tell me what the other planets are like?"
Galaxia smiled faintly. And she spoke of a planet where there were no continents, only water, and the people there were akin to fish. She spoke of a planet where jungles dominated the land and creatures born of plants and beasts roamed, with wild horns and pale eyes and who could speak to trees. She spoke of fiery planets with scaled creatures of liquid light, formed from lava and the glow of three suns; she spoke of ice planets populated with large many-legged furry beasts that had three hearts. She spoke of a planet with inhabitants who appeared much like the people of Kinmoku. She spoke of a planet with giant insects as its people, and how when a swarm flew it was as if night had descended. She spoke of a planet where the sky was every color of the rainbow, and the people vibrant, strange colors with thick, veined wings and eyes that were as jewels.
Kakyuu sat still and listened, closed her eyes and imagined these fantastic places that appeared molded from the stuff of a child's imagination. She listened to the tales of the galaxy, and the thought of her failure to create a fireball dimmed, till it was nothing at all.
Kakyuu smiled. It was not so bad—she could be a Star Dancer.
And this time, when the jarringly near-tangible hope filled her at the thought of being Kinmoku's Star Dancer, of holding the Kinmoku Crystal—this time, she did not try to smother it.
She basked in the light.