To those kind reviewers who have PMs turned off, I'm not able to say thank you personally—so thank you publicly for taking the time to make my day!

Thank you to the wonderful betas over at Project Team Beta. Chapter two is new and improved because of mcc101180 and Twimarti.

Thanks to my wonderful pre-reader AstonMartin823. She has first dibs on Mindward.

I do not own Twilight or Batman. I wouldn't mind seeing Edward dressed up as him though. Did I say that out loud? No copyright infringement intended.

Batman and Robin:
1966-1968 TV series starring Adam West and Burt Ward – back when super hero costumes really did look like guys wearing their underpants on the outside, and special effects made you cry from laughing to hard. Hands up who else had a super huge girl crush on Adam West?
YouTube: The Best of 1966 Batman/Bruce Wayne

Chapter 3 – Batman and Robin

Bella stood staring up into the very pissed-off gaze of Edward.

Edward.

She was amazed that her idea had worked, and the realization of the power she held began to dawn on both of them. She'd never been in control of anything before, including her own adult life. Now that she'd had a tiny taste of power, she decided she liked it.

"Tell me how you do it," she demanded, her confidence growing.

"Missionary or doggie style? I'm not sure what's more you," he snapped sarcastically.

"What?"

"You want me to tell you how I do it. It'd be easier if you'd let me give you a demo. I can skip the kissing if it's not your thing."

You bastard!

Bella forced her mind not to get distracted by his mention of doing rude things to her. Under normal circumstances, if a guy as tall as Edward was glaring at her with such lethal force in a dark, dingy alley, she would have fainted for sure, but she felt confident and safe. She felt alive and free—feelings that were so foreign to her.

"How do you read minds?"

"The only things I read are books and the morning paper, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that. I know you read my mind," she insisted.

"Sounds like you've lost yours if you ask me." His tone was sharp and cruel.

"Fine."

Bella closed her eyes and let her imagination fly.

"Fucking hell! What is wrong with you?" he yelled.

Bella had momentarily flinched at his outburst. She cleared her mental picture and asked again.

"Tell me how you do it."

Edward was absolutely furious.

"What? So you can tell everyone about the sideshow freak you've discovered?"

"No, I'd never do that," she replied, truly shocked.

"Yeah right, like you didn't run to your little blonde friend the first chance you had and tell her?"

Fuck!

I did.

"I…um…well," she stammered.

"Exactly," he spat at her. His look made her feel like she was a despised enemy, and that thought was crushing. Her emotions were so topsy-turvy. She hardly knew this guy, but having him suddenly shut her out was a devastating thought.

"I swear I won't say anything else, but you've got to tell me," she said with a hint of desperation.

"I don't have to do anything," he fumed.

"Hey! If you poke around in my head, then you do," she said, suddenly annoyed again. "Why'd you even tell me you could do this if you didn't want me to know?" Bella was not going to let the matter go.

"I didn't tell you anything," he said defiantly.

Fucking hell, you're annoying.

"You offered to…to…well, yesterday," she said.

"I offered to what…exactly?" He was leaning over her with his hands on his hips, his eyes ablaze with fury.

"You know what you offered to do." Bella couldn't bring herself to say it 'cause she still couldn't believe it herself. "But, I wonder now whether you'd have had the balls to actually deliver if I hadn't run out on you."

"I guess you'll never know."

Aagghhh! God, damn you.

"Tell me!" she yelled up at him.

"My break's over." He pushed past her and kicked the milk crate with a frightening amount of force.

"We're not done," she said, trying to follow him. "Edward," she yelled as he vanished behind the heavy door.

Before it clicked shut, the door swung open again, and Bella was faced with a feral stare that made her take a step back.

"Don't…" he pointed his finger in her face "…don't you dare call me that in here or I'll have you banned."

The door slammed and the overhead light clicked off. Bella was left shell-shocked in the dark, reeling from her encounter.

What an asshole!

He's a pig!

A shit-head!

Fuck you, Ginger!

Never in her life had she ever been spoken to in such a manner. Never in her life has she ever felt so insanely angry, but never before had she ever felt so exhilarated either.

Storming into the bar through the front door, she ignored Emmett's greeting smile. She was sure she looked possessed because she felt it, but she didn't care. Bella Swan not caring what people thought—that was a first.

How dare he start this and not want to finish it.

You – hear me now? You could have kept your little abilities to yourself, but no… you offered me orgasms!

Pushing through the crowd, Bella made her way to the bar.

Edward was back taking orders, and Bella could tell he was still visibly upset. He tried to smile at his customers, but she could see through the façade. Bella stood, closed her eyes and focused her mind.

Cop this, asshole!

You want sexy, I'll give you sexy.

"Fuck," he shouted out loud over the blaring music.

Bella looked up and saw him pinching the bridge of his nose again. He shook his head and apologized to the startled guy he was handing a drink to at the time. Mary Ann met him at the register looking worried, and Bella assumed he was asking him if he was okay. Edward just shook his head and pushed his friend away roughly before turning to serve the next patron.

Bella continued to think of various compromising positions—involving the two barmen. He wanted action, then she'd give him action—guy-on-guy style.

Edward frowned and winced in pain but had no further outbursts.

A familiar high-pitched squeal distracted Bella from her mind torture.

Shit.

Rosalie.

As if her hot pink t-shirt wasn't enough, she was hanging off Emmett's back making her impossible to miss. She appeared to be "riding" him like some crazed cowgirl. One hand was clutched around his neck, while her other hand was in the air, making repeated circular motions as she gyrated up and down on his back.

What the hell?

Who on earth is she trying to lasso?

How on earth am I going to get her home?

Rosalie was also hooting and hollering, and she didn't appear to be bothering her muscular steed in the slightest. Bella left the bar and pushed back through the throngs of people to follow Emmett back to the door.

Out in the street, Rose's enthusiasm didn't die down.

"Rose," Bella yelled up to her. "Shhh. Cut that out."

Emmett just laughed. "She's a live wire, my little Rosie."

He knelt down and let Rose slid off his back.

"Awww," she moaned. "I wasn't done yet." She swayed slightly and pouted at the big guy.

Bella couldn't believe her eyes.

Before Emmett could get too far away, Rose lunged at him—this time a frontal attack. With her arms around his neck, she tried to kiss him, but his height gave him a distinct advantage.

"Hey, hey there, little one," he said, grabbing her wrists and trying to free himself.

"Rosalie Hale, you stop that this minute." Bella tried to help, but like most drunk people, they moved with surprising speed when they had their mind set on something. Bella gave up trying to get Rose's leather jacket back on her. She'd get cold enough eventually and put it on herself.

Her second attack on the bouncer involved lots of drunken jumping. She looked like a horny malfunctioning Energizer Bunny.

Oh, good grief!

Emmett began to chuckle as he tried to restrain her. In the end, he forced her to turn around and pinned her to his chest with both of his arms securely around her, holding her wandering hands still. She didn't seem to mind and continued to try to kiss him from her awkward angle. When this failed, she stilled but only for a second. A wicked gleam filled her eyes before she began rubbing her butt very obviously against his hips.

"Hey," he shrieked, trying to separate his body from her without letting her go.

"Oh, come on, big guy. Don't you want to play with me?" Rose asked, trying to be coy.

Bella couldn't help but laugh. Never in all the time she had known Rose had she ever witnessed her act like this. Rose was always in control—even when she was drunk. Whatever those barmen put in their drinks, it was gold.

"How am I going to get her home like this?" Bella asked as she watched Rose continue to try and rub herself against Emmett.

"Ah, you live together?" he asked, his hips dancing away from hers in a strange back to front tango.

"No, but if you help me get her there, I can get myself home."

He dragged Rose back toward the door and spoke to another much smaller bouncer.

"No problem. We'll be able to hail a taxi in a block or two," he said to Bella before proceeding to carry Rose down the street.

After what seemed like ages, Bella and Emmett finally had Rose tucked up in her bed, fast asleep. She had spent the entire trip home trying to molest the bouncer, but he took it like a true gentleman.

Standing outside Rose's building, Bella thanked him for his assistance once again. She was surprised that he didn't take advantage of Rose's amorous state. He really was sweet.

"Well, thanks again, Emmett," she said.

"Hey, I'm The Professor," he replied, smiling.

She smiled back. "Edward accidently told me your name, but don't worry I won't tell anyone."

Emmett watched her again, a bit like he had earlier when she'd asked him to show her around the back.

"Edward introduced himself to you?" he asked.

"Not exactly." Now she felt guilty for forcing his name from his lips with her mental assault. "Have you known him long?"

Emmett's eyes told her he wasn't going to give up his friend, or employer, or whatever Edward was to him.

"Okay, I guess I should ask Edward if I want to know about Edward, huh?" she asked.

Relief flooded Em's usually happy features. "Yeah, that would be best. Say, why don't I walk you to your place? I wouldn't feel right letting you walk alone at this time of night."

The pair walked together, chatting easily. Emmett was an open book when asked about himself, and he freely admitted that Rosalie Hale was the loveliest lady he had ever seen. Bella found that sweet, considering Rosalie's recent behavior had been anything but lovely. He agreed not to share with Edward any information that Bella had shared about herself with him. It was only fair in Emmett's book, and that made Bella happy. He also asked her to bring Rose back to BE Bar soon. Bella was vague with her answer because she wasn't sure she wanted to return to BE anytime soon but didn't want to lie to the first honest guy she'd ever meet.

…

Jasper was clutching his stomach because it hurt from laughing so hard.

"She was picturing us kissing?" he gasped out between guffaws.

"It wasn't just kissing," Edward snarled. "It was…it was…violent making out. You were all over me like a fucking rash."

Edward's face looked pained as he clearly remembered the images Bella had burned into his brain.

"So that's why you kept pushing me away."

"What?" Alice asked. She was sitting cross-legged on the polished wooden bar-top watching her boys.

"I thought he had a migraine and kept going over to him, but each time he'd push me away." Jasper swiped at a few tears of joy that had escaped his eyes.

Edward glared at him before swigging from a bottle of amber liquid. He winced as he swallowed, welcoming the burn.

"It's not funny. I can't tell you how graphic her mind is."

"You're in big trouble, little brother. Big trouble," Alice said.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he snapped, still pissed off.

"You'll see."

"Alice, what have you seen?"

"Ah-ah, you always say you don't want to know." She closed an invisible zipper across her lips.

Jasper had contained his laughter enough to start making Alice a drink. The smile that couldn't be wiped off his face showed how amused he was by the girl that had managed to get under Edward Masen's skin.

Edward threw his head back and drank steadily.

"Hey, man, ease up," Jasper said.

Edward collapsed across the bar, his head on top of his folded arms.

"You didn't see it, J. I swear she's got the most exquisite mind when she's not torturing me with it."

Jasper and Alice shared a look when he handed her a tall, fizzy concoction.

"It's like nothing I've ever seen. It's…it's…" He was lost for words. His anger was slowly dissipating thanks to the alcohol working its way through his veins. "She views things differently. I think I understand what looking through rose-colored glasses looks like, but…"

"But what?" Alice prompted.

"But, she doesn't see herself clearly. Her image of herself is nothing like the real thing, and it makes me furious," he admitted.

"Well, I guess it's your job to help change her opinion of herself," Jasper suggested. "Did you get her number?"

"Fuck, no! She was torturing me. As if I'd ask for her number." His annoyance wasn't far beneath the surface.

"Wait, you let her know what you can do, she wasn't scared off by this, you're actually attracted to her, and you still didn't get her number?"

"She infuriates me. Why would I want to call her? Plus, you're forgetting something. I don't date—ever."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Oh, for the love of God, you're not still sticking with that?"

"J, leave it. This is none of your business," Edward said seriously.

"Actually, it is my business when you start cursing at customers and smashing up the glassware."

Edward grabbed the bottle of whiskey and stormed off without another word.

…

Ring Ring.

"What?"

"Rose?"

"What?"

"Oh, thank goodness. I'm just calling to make sure you're alive."

"Barely. My brain is playing strange footage of events I wouldn't possibly do," she moaned.

"Oh, you did them," Bella said with a smile.

"There is no way I was riding a guy around a club. No way."

Bella's silence said it all.

"Shit. Tell me you didn't let me ride some random stranger. Oh God! Tell me you didn't let some random stranger come home with me?" She sounded alarmed, and Bella could hear the rustling of sheets. Bella laughed, imagining Rose checking to see if she was still clothed. Bella enjoyed finally having something on her perfect friend.

"Firstly, I didn't 'let' you do anything. You were totally out of control. Secondly, Mr. Random Stranger did help you home, but he politely refused your sexual advances."

"Huh? My sexual advances?"

Bella filled in her friend on the parts of the previous night that she had witnessed. At first, Rose was relieved that Mr. RS had been a gentleman, but by the end of the call, her ego was bruised by the fact that he'd said no. No guy ever said no to Rosalie Hale. Bella informed her that her inflated ego was making Bella feel nauseated since mere mortal females were quite used to not being fawned over by every guy that crossed their path.

"Sorry," Rose said, but Bella could tell she didn't mean it. "So, did you kiss Mr. Bar-gasm?"

"Stop calling him that, and no."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Bella, I know you're lusting after him, because if you weren't, you'd never have dreamed up that little fantasy that he read in your head. Did he try to kiss you?"

"Well, he probably would have if I let him."

"Bella!"

"Look, it's complicated. He drives me crazy."

"Yeah, but from my experience that means the sex will be electric," Rose added.

"He's playing a game," Bella stated, like this would prove her point for not kissing him.

"No kidding. It's called the dating game. And, newsflash—it's fun."

"I'm no good at that game."

"Well, maybe you should start trying, because sexy mind readers don't come along all that often."

…

It took two solid weeks of constant nagging by Rosalie before Bella gave in and agreed to return to BE Bar.

Bella said Rose was fixated on the fact that a guy had said no to her and that was the only reason she was so desperate to return. Rose denied this accusation adamantly, but she secretly wanted to find out what was wrong with this Emmett guy. If he had a wife or girlfriend, then that was fine… a boyfriend was unlikely since she was sure he'd been flirting with her at the start of the night, but other than that, she needed to know why he'd said no.

Bella had spent the last two weeks feeling conflicted and even more alone. She couldn't get past rule number three to "just be." It made her wonder who she really was, and where she wanted to be, but reality always knocked her over the head with a thump whenever she started to believe her life could be different. She tried not to think about Edward and his sugar lips, and the crazy alive feeling she got from being in his presence. She couldn't deny that he made her heart pound and her body vibrate. Bella secretly spent more than a few nights imagining what it would feel like if she said yes next time he offered to kiss her. Yet the idea of possibly sleeping with a guy as hot as Edward made her want to run and hide. That was Rosalie's territory, not Bella's. Guys usually didn't notice her, and guys in Edward's league definitely didn't notice Bella Swan.

The constant struggle in her mind, combined with the way their last encounter had ended, had Bella less than enthused about going back. As a result, she didn't put any extra effort into her appearance when she finally agreed to return. Her clothing options were limited at the best of times, as her budget never allowed her any frivolity in life, and any money she spent on clothing was used to save up for a new suit to keep her boss off her back.

She tried to ignore Rose's disgusted stare as they waited in line outside the bar. Bella loved wearing jeans, and the dark pair she had on were her favorite. She also hated wearing heels after hours, so her flats were just what she felt like having on. Tonight, she had left her hair down. It was neat and straight, so she couldn't understand how Rose could go on about that as well. It's not like she ever succeeded when she tried to curl her hair, and this fact Rosalie knew. Curling irons in Bella's hands only ever led to disaster, and the smell of burning hair was not really the look she was going for. Bella had to admit that her 80s Muppets t-shirt might have been taking "casual" to new heights, but it was what she felt like wearing. The bar was toasty warm when it was full, so she knew she could dump her jacket once they entered.

"Don't come crying to me when he ignores you in that get-up," Rose said.

"If he's only interested in what I look like, then this game is over before it even begins," Bella retorted.

You don't understand, Rose.

I don't have the money to burn like you.

"Would it kill you to buy something sexy and new once in a while?"

"Rose, please don't."

"What? Are you saving for your retirement already?"

Yeah, nursing homes are my way of letting loose!

"I happen to like my clothes, so if you want me to stay, then shut it or else I'm going home." Once again Bella found herself snapping. She would never have spoken to her friend like this, but for some reason now, she just wanted to do as she pleased. She wanted to just be.

Just be…be me.

I want to be liked for jeans and a silly t-shirt, not stilettos and push-up bras.

Maybe I can just be…

"Well, if it isn't my beautiful Rosie," Emmett boomed. "My Friday night just got brighter. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me."

Rose was clearly caught off guard again by the huge bouncer. "I've been busy," she replied coldly.

"Yep, I reckon a lady like you would never have a spare night free." He sounded kind of wistful as he said it. "If I'd known you were coming, I'd have kept my BE Bar lucky t-shirt for you."

"You think that's a good idea after the last time?" Bella piped up.

"Hey there, you," greeted Em with a big smile. "You're probably right, but I'd never pass up an opportunity to give my Rosie a piggy back ride any time she wanted."

She's gonna eat you for dinner, you poor sweet man.

"Is that so?" Rose asked. Bella could have sworn she felt the temperature drop a couple of degrees. The Ice Queen was about to attack. "I didn't think you'd remember me."

Emmett looked heartbroken. "But, I helped you home. Of course, I'd remember you."

"You could have called since you know where I live."

"I…I…I didn't think that would be right of me. I've been waiting for you to come back," he said softly.

"Oh, so I have to come running back to you. Is that how you operate? You make women beg for it?"

She can be such a bitch.

The look on Emmett's face nearly killed Bella. He was hurt by Rose's words, and he clearly didn't know how to make it better. Bella wished she could have helped him, but that would only make Rose madder.

"No, Rosie. I just didn't want you to think I was only after that. You know. I'd never take advantage of a woman. I was waiting for you to come back so that maybe I could ask you out on a real date."

Bella was impressed that he had gotten the words out, and Rosalie was yet again caught by surprise.

"A real date? I don't think so."

What? You're dying to go out with him.

Fucking dating games!

I hate them.

"I can't say I'm surprised. I didn't think a pretty lady like you would ever notice a door gorilla like me. But, that's okay. I understand," he finished, holding his head up high. "You're still my beautiful Rosie, and I'll still look out for you if you need me. Same goes for you, Bella." He stepped aside so the women could enter the bar.

Oh, you are too good for her, sweet Emmett.

As Bella was about to walk down the stairs, she turned around and asked, "Hey, what's your name tonight?"

"I'm Alfred," Emmett said with a big smile, his rejection seemingly forgotten.

At the bottom of the stairs, Bella grabbed Rose by the elbow.

"What was that about? I know you want to go on a date with him, Rose."

"Duh, it's called playing hard to get."

You are shitting me.

"What? You get to play hard to get, but I'm supposed to tongue wrestle the first guy that offers?" Bella asked, clearly annoyed. She realized BE Bar was becoming synonymous with feelings of annoyance and anger, and she wondered if that was healthy.

"I know how to play hard to get. You don't know how to play at all, therefore, you should just 'play,' and hard—whenever the opportunity arises," Rose said, grinning before turning and pushing her way toward the bar.

Before Bella knew it, she had followed Rose to the bar. The sea of people had parted for her friend like it often did, and Bella always marveled at how differently people treated her compared to Rose.

The barmen were dressed in electric purple t-shirts with shiny silver block letters across their chests. One read DICK and the other BRUCE.

Dick, Bruce and Alfred…who on earth?

Rose elbowed Bella as Dick bent over to retrieve several colored pre-bottled drinks from the fridge directly in front of them.

"So, is tonight's shirt an advert?" she asked.

The music was louder tonight, and Bella had trouble hearing.

"What?" she yelled.

"Is his shirt advertising what he's packing, or is it what he behaves like?" she said again, smiling.

What he's packing? What?

Oh shit!

How big is Edward's dick?

The way he acts, it's got to be huge.

Dick stood up and spun around, his eyes landing on Bella instantly.

Oh shit…MUST NOT THINK.

He smirked at her before quickly leaning over the bar to her.

"Oh, yeah…it's big enough to make you smile, Dollface," he said.

Before Bella could respond, he went back to his customer, laughing.

That cocky bastard!

Big enough for me, huh?

STOP THINKING.

STOP!

Bella knew she was blushing from not only being caught thinking about his cock, but his confirmation of her question. She had to try very hard not to think about a naked, well-endowed Edward now that he'd put the thought in her mind.

Could my life be any more humiliating?

Think about chocolate.

Think about kittens.

Do not think about his coc…STOP.

Bella was sure he kept walking past them on purpose. The next three patrons he served, he needed something from in front of her. Each time, his eyes locked onto hers, and he would smile or wink at her. His attention did nothing to quell the fire burning across her cheeks, especially when he licked his lips slowly.

Rose stood grinning from watching their exchange. She had that "I told you so" look.

"Are you drinking tonight?" Rose asked Bella, hoping she would say yes because her friend needed to relax.

"No."

"Oh, come on, B. Live a little. Look at him. He's clearly interested in fucking you."

"Rose! God! I'm not interested in that, thank you."

"Well, why are you blushing like a school girl?"

"Shut up."

Bella found her annoyance surfacing again.

Why are you so obsessed with my sex life?

Getting some won't change how fucked up my life is.

Jeez.

Edward looked up. His face was serious, and if Bella didn't know better, he looked concerned.

Do not pity me, you!

Stop… kittens…chocolate…

The idea of having to monitor her personal thoughts was hard to comprehend. She had never had to control her inner chatter before, and now she was beginning to realize how much she actually talked to herself. She wondered briefly if that was normal, or if she was actually insane, before she stopped and tried to quiet her mind. It was almost impossible due to her feeling agitated and frustrated and sort of turned on.

This place is bad for my blood pressure.

Edward stopped in front of them. It was their turn to order.

"Ladies," he said.

"Oh, Dick," Rosalie moaned.

Bella squeezed her eyes shut.

Do not think of big hard dicks…do not…crap!

When she opened her eyes, Edward was only inches from her face. To anyone else it would have looked like he was trying to hear her order above the racket.

"Don't stop now, baby. I like where you were going with that thought, but I really think I need to kiss you before we do that," he said, just loud enough for her to hear.

A shiver passed through Bella's body. She wanted him, but she hated how much control he had over her. She was annoyed that he could pluck her fantasies from her mind when she had no idea what he was thinking.

Narrowing her eyes at him, she said, "Really? Well, this is actually more my scene."

Bella kept her eyes open because she wanted to see his reaction as she thought about Dick and Bruce tongue-locked together. She pictured the two of them standing behind the crowded bar, making out like horny teenagers.

The only reaction Bella got from her mental assault on the charming barman was that he closed his eyes once briefly. She knew he was reading her loud and clear, but his violent response was absent. Bella glared at him in a silent challenge and upped the picture details to a more X-rated version. Edward stood his ground and stared back, still not showing any emotion.

A second later, he whistled loudly to Bruce at the other end of the bar before deliberately licking his lips.

Fuck. What is it with those Goddamn lips!

Focus.

Dick and Bruce kissing…Dick and Bruce grinding…Dick kissing Bruce…

The blond barman nodded his head, finished serving his customer and sauntered up to Dick. Bella's eyes nearly bugged out of her head at the way the blond guy was looking at Edward.

No. Way.

He wouldn't.

Edward gave Bella a smug looked and turned to face Bruce, who had stopped inches from him. The whole bar seemed to be watching the pair as Bruce raised one hand to cup Dick's cheek. Bella noticed for the first time that Dick was several inches taller than Bruce.

This move caught the attention of those who hadn't already stopped to watch the show. Dick winked down at his barmate and then pressed his wet lips against his mouth. The two men stood lip locked for all to see. Bella felt her mouth fall open as the bar erupted in hoots and cheers while the two men made out.

Fuck me stupid. I don't believe it.

In no time at all, the boys parted. Bruce looked absolutely love-struck and turned to face the patrons clutching at his chest over where his heart was located. Dick smiled and fist pumped the air like he was a champion. Several of the bar's resident gay clientele shouted for an encore performance.

Rose leaned down and woke Bella from her trance. "Wow, I think I'm actually gonna like this guy," she said.

Nothing could wipe the smile off Dick's face as he came back to stand in front of Bella.

"Careful what you wish for, Dollface. Now, what can I get you?"

Holy shit.

I think I kinda liked that.

What?

No!

Yes! Guys kissing is hot.

No!

What is wrong with me?

"Alcohol. Just alcohol," she uttered.

His laughter could be heard above the now extra excited crowd. "Coming right up. I think you need a Dick special."

Dick…

Fuck…

Kittens and chocolate…

Kittens and chocolate…

Bella felt dizzy, nauseated, faint, and horny all at once. In Round Three of Dick vs Bella—Dick had most definitely won.

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