CHAPTER 3

"PONYBOY? WHAT IS IT?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard someone yell my name. Then I realized it was just Johnny. He wasn't a threat. If he was really acting suspicious, I would just flop on him and squash him.

"It's Darry," I said through sobs and banana cream pie. "He smashed a pie in my face."

Johnny's face lit up. "AWESOME! I WISH I LIVED AT YOUR HOUSE!"

"No!" I started crying even harder. "I'm allergic to bananas! [And any kind of fruit or vegetable, for that matter.] Darry knows that! And he did it anyway."

Johnny pondered that. Then, being the kind-hearted, gentle soul he is, said, "I KNOW! HE WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU!"

"Thanks, Johnny. You sure know how to cheer a guy up."

"THANKS! IT'S ONE OF MY SPECIALTIES!"

I sighed, then buttoned up my coat as I continued to lick pie off my face.

Johnny thought for a minute. "HEY, IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC, HOW COME YOU KEEP LICKING THE PIE OFF YOUR FACE?"

I glared. "You got anything better to eat, Bucko?"

He pondered that then shouted, "I KNOW! WE SHOULD ASK DALLY FOR SOMETHING TO EAT!"

I paused, then nodded. Dally would feed us.

Johnny and I ran as fast as we could, through deserts [AKA parking lots] and giant lakes [puddles], and climbed a mountain [up the hill to the bus stop] where we hitched a ride with a knight in shining armor [the bus man].

We reached Dally's house, one of us slightly more out of breath than the other…and no, it wasn't Johnny.

I had just reached up to knock on the door when Johnny remembered something…and he told me so.

"HEY PONYBOY! I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING! DALLY HASN'T LIVED AT HIS HOUSE FOR A YEAR! HE RAN AWAY! REMEMBER?"

I groaned. Now we'd have to look all over creation to find him.

"Alright, so we have to think like Dally…where would he be?"

"UM…ISN'T THERE A PARTY AT BUCK'S HOUSE TONIGHT?"

I didn't see what that had to do with anything…maybe he was hinting that since it was a party, there'd be food. I grinned. Johnny was great. "I think so."

"WELL, HE'S PROBABLY THERE! DALLY NEVER PASSES UP A PARTY!"

So we went that direction, towards Buck's house: across raging rivers [the stream that flows in the gutter] and wastelands [the sewer system], through wild forests [the trees lined up next to each other outside the mall] and big cities [the outskirts of town], and even outran a scandalous villain [a stray alley cat] along the way!

We finally reached Buck's house, gasping for breath. I pounded on the door, and after a few seconds, somebody opened it.

It was Buck. He scowled when he saw us. "Whaddaya kids want?"

"Coke…" I wheezed. "Need…Coke…must have…"

He scowled even more, then slammed the door shut in our faces.

I collapsed on the doorstep and looked weakly up at Johnny. "D'you…d'you think he'll get-"

"DALLY? PROBABLY…BUT THIS IS BUCK, SO MAYBE NOT."

"No! Not Dally! Coke! D'you think he'll get us Coke!"

"OH!"

Suddenly, we heard a low growl coming from the bushes. We whirled around, but we didn't see anything. I grabbed Johnny and held him in front of me, though, just in case it was Dally in a bad mood.

Then, a giant creature leapt out of the bushes and attacked Johnny!

I started to run away as soon as I heard Johnny crying. Then I realized he was just laughing and decided to stay. I looked at the monster attacking him and saw that it was just Puppy, not the Hound of the Baskervilles.

The door to the building opened, and a bottle of Coke flew out. The door slammed shut again.

I grabbed the Coke and guzzled it down without offering Johnny any. When the bottle was empty, I sighed contentedly and threw it in the bushes.

Puppy promptly went into the bushes and retrieved it.

I stretched, then said goodbye to Johnny and headed home; after all, it was my house as much as Darry's.

I had decided that, since Darry would likely smash another pie in my face, I'd sneak in through the window.

So I did. Well, I tried– but I didn't fit.

Defeated, I went through the front door. Actually, I went through the front door, but I forgot the screen door was still shut. I went straight through that, with a crash loud enough to wake up everyone in the neighborhood. Which it did. But amazingly, my brothers seemed to be the only two in the whole town that slept through it.

So, untangling myself from the screen mesh, I snuck into the house as quietly as I could.

And was promptly bashed over the head with a baseball bat.

When I came to, I saw a duck and a monster looking down at me. No, wait; it wasn't a duck and a monster, it was Darry and Soda. Soda was wearing the dragon mask he wears whenever he wants to feel brave.

"I believe thou hast the correct answer," Darry was saying to Soda. "Thou hast killed our brother, not a robber."

I heard Soda sobbing.

"Yes, thou shall cry, fool! Dost thou know what thou has accomplished?"

Soda shook his masked head, still weeping.

"Thou, fool, has killed our brother, and in doing so, thou has taken away something very important to myself!"

My heart grew warm. Well, what do you know; Darry actually cared about me!

I was about to open my mouth to say that I thought Darry wasn't such a bad ol' guy either…but he wasn't done yet.

"If that child dies, then the government no longer pays for our cable hookup!"

Soda suddenly stopped crying. "Thuh govurmint pays 4 thuh cable? Y?"

"Because they feel sorry for us, imbecile! We must put up with the small human all the days of our lives! However, if we park him in front of the 'tube', as you pathetic mortals call it, he will stay out of our hair. Well," he considered this. "Those of us that have hair."

I sat up and glared at him. "Keep your thought to yourself, Bucko."

His jaw dropped and Soda immediately stopped crying.

"Yur alive!" Soda promptly burst into tears again and hugged me.

"Can't…breathe…" I gasped.

"Sorree." He let go of me and I stood up, and on my way to my room, I caught a look at Darry's face. Was it my imagination, or did he actually look relieved?

Nah; it was my imagination. I must not be getting enough sleep.