Our confusing tale continues...

Questionable Characters

Sonea woke up to find Cery watching her as she slept. She sat up quickly.

"Cery! I thought we got over this disturbing infatuation of yours in the first trilogy!"

Cery pouted. "There was a time you used to like men who watched you sleep."

Sonea felt some backstory tugging at her mind, but it wasn't yet time to bring that up. "That was different. He had an award winning torso. So, what's up?"

"I could have an award winning torso."

"Sure you could."

"I could."

"Hey, sure, whatever. Get back to topic, please."

"Sometimes, I wish the purge hadn't stopped."

"Haven't your problems got more to do with cocai- I mean, roet?"

"I guess," Cery replied, suddenly full of angst.

"Why are you suddenly full of angst?"

"My whole family are dead."

Sonea nodded sympathetically. "We all have bad days." She felt the backstory tugging at her mind again. Not time yet. "Even your daughter by a different baby momma?"

"Oh, no, not her. Good point. Well, bye now."

Finally, Sonea was left free to explore her backstory. She went up to the graveyard to remind the reader of an awful lot of stuff to do with black magic and Akkarin, and their bizarrely named son. Just then, Rothen showed up, his face a mask of worry.

"Rothen, why are you wearing that stupid mask again?"

"Sorry." He took it off and threw it in a stream. "So, I hear you're planning to kick Regin's ass in this petition about poor novices."

"Nah."

"Why not?"

"I'm too busy remembering Akkarin's final act of heroism."

"Oh. But you do that every day. And I thought you loved kicking Regin's ass."

"I do. But I prefer to store all my anger inside, where it slowly becomes a crippling mental illness."

"Righty ho."

Lorkin sat in a strip bar with his cast of many unimportant friends, with many, unimportant names. Just then Lorkin's Friend 1's cousin walked in.

She was the most beautiful woman Lorkin had ever seen.

"Anyone fancy a line- I mean, some roet?" asked Lorkin's Friend 2.

"Do they really keep slaves in Sachaka?" asked Lorkin's Friend 1's cousin.

"They do," said Lorkin's Friend 1. "But they don't belong to us. We keep the moral high ground against slavery by taking complete advantage of the slaves, without actually having to pay for them."

"Ah yes... Of course," said Lorkin's Friend 3.

"I wish I could do something useful with my life and become a super special hero who'll go down in history forever," said Lorkin.

Just then, Beriya walked in.

She was the most beautiful woman Lorkin had ever seen.

"Hey Lorkin," she giggled. "Remember when I broke your heart and taught you not to trust a woman just because she's beautiful?"

Lorkin laughed. "Ha! You'd think I'd have learnt that lesson, wouldn't you? But no, somehow I don't think I have. Good day to you all!"

Lorkin walked back to the Guild, pausing only to notice several of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen on the way, and propose marriage to two of them. He was watching one of them walk away when he bumped into a tall magician heading the other direction.

"Argh!"

"Eep!"

Lorkin sighed and looking up at the other magician, who was so tall his face was hard to make out through the clouds. "Sorry, I was thinking about proposing to people. Obviously I can't propose to you. Ha. Ha."

"Well, you could."

"I don't think I should, people might write slash fics about it."

"I'm used to people writing slash fics about me," Dannyl shrugged, tall-ly. "Wanna hear all about my research?"

"Sounds boring. Will it offer me the chance to do something useful with my life and become a super special hero who'll go down in history forever?"

"Probably not. You might almost get killed by a cave full of jewellery, though."

"Sounds super special to me. Let's go."