Alright guys!
Turned out that this has nothing to do with the actual story line what so ever.
I finished this in 6 chapters it seems. I had two options on how I wanted it to end, but I thought this the best.
Nothing has really changed in this chapter, if you read it. I will tell you which chapter has changed when you get to it. If you haven't read this before at all, then enjoy.
Dean walked into the place just in time to see Sam walking out of the bedroom, eyes locked on him with a frown on his face.
"Fix it." Sam said when he reached Dean.
"...What do you mean-"
Sam put a hand up to silence Dean. "Just shut up, and fix it." He stepped close to Dean threateningly. "I don't know the details, but it looks pretty bad from what I have pieced together?"
Dean let his eyes fall to the floor, he hated being shamed by his brother but he also knew when to accept that he deserved it; Dean nodded his head. "Pretty bad, yeah..."
"Seriously!?" Sam was hoping it was all a misunderstanding. "What the hell Dean!?"
"Don't you think I feel bad enough!?" He shot back. "It just happened, I didn't mean for it to go that far in the beginning!"
"Oh, I don't want your fucking excuses!" Sam shoved him against the wall, his hand planted firmly on Dean's chest. "You better fix this and quick." He was dead serious as he glared into Dean's eyes.
"What do you think I am trying to do...?" Dean glared back.
Sam eventually backed away, disappointment clear on his face. "I don't know what you are trying to do anymore..." He said, walking out of the front door without another word. Dean stared after him for a moment, he almost preferred Sam to punch him.
He looked at the bedroom door and took a deep breath before walking to it.
"...Cas?" Dean said softly, knocking. "Can I come in?" When he got no response, he slowly pushed the door open. "Castiel?" He called again, looking around the room. He found him sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head. "...Hey...I uh, got you some drugs for you." Dean tried to start a conversation. "I figured you'd be pretty hungover, I am sure you drank your weight in alcohol last night."
Cas didn't even look up at him. Thi made Dean frowned and rubbed the back of his neck, sitting the bag of food and ibuprofen on the floor next to the other man's feet. "I-it will help with any...other pain too..."
The silence was killing him. "Would you just start screaming at me or something already?"
Castiel let his hands fall into his lap, sniffling he raised his head slightly. "What is there left to 'scream' about?" He sounded tired, and Dean could tell he had been crying by how red his eyes were.
"...Fuck, Cas, I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me." He reached out to cup Castiel's face but the other quickly stood and moved away.
"I have to get dressed, and we need to get on the road soon so could you..." Cas motioned at the door. Dean took the hint and walked into the hallway, he turned to apologize again but the door shut in his face.
This was going to be a fun road trip...
It was so quiet.
And it was so awkward...
Sam rolled down is window just to get a little separation from the car. Castiel hadn't said a word from the back seat, and Dean was tensed up. Sam scoffed, his brother was probably trying to think of something to say to Castiel but he was never good with words. He thought about turning the radio on, but didn't want to somehow to be the one to cause the very large bomb to go off.
Castiel and Dean's eyes met in the rearview mirror a few times, but Cas only glared and looked away.
Sam had enough, this had been going on for over an hour now. He cleared his throat "...So, where are we going again?"
Dean glanced at him, as if realizing Sam was still in the car for the first time. "There is a town where a number of kids have disappeared..." He continued to tell Sam of how all the kids disappeared around the same time every night, with no explanation. Castiel was listening, but didn't show it. Dean's voice made him angry he noticed. He could see bruises forming on the older winchester's face, from where he had punched him.
Good.
"Any input Cas?" Sam asked, dragging him out of his wonderful thoughts of roasting Dean over a fire and offering him as a sacrifice. It made him feel better? Human emotions were disturbing...
"It is most likely a demon, we could set a trap for him..." Castiel looked at the back of Dean's head. "I am sure Dean would make the perfect bait."
"...It wants children Castiel." Dean corrected.
"Exactly my point." Cas said evenly and looked back at Sam, who was trying not to smile because he knew Cas was seriously pissed. Dean frowned, but kept his mouth closed.
Sam could only turn back around in his seat, and continue to stare at the window.
Uncomfortable didn't even begin to describe the rest of the trip.
"Well, that was interesting..." Sam stumbled into the motel room and groaned.
"Who knew it would be that fucking difficult to kill one demon..." Dean shuffled in behind him.
"I was talking more about you and Castiel..."Sam said, falling on the bed with a sigh of relief. "Where is he anyways?"
Dean shrugged. "Hell if I know...I can't even get him to look at me." Castiel disappeared after the demon was killed, without so much as a word. It was a pretty good trick, with him being human and all.
"Well, what did you expect?" Sam's eyes were closed but he was listening. "After what you did, normal people would go to jail."
"...You believe i didn't want to hurt him, right?" Dean's voice sounded so small. He sat down at the edge of Sam's chosen bed.
"It really doesn't matter what you intended Dean, but if I believed you did...what you did...on purpose I would've already kicked your ass." Sam opened his eyes to stare at his brother. "It comes down to, you did hurt him."
"How do I fix it, when he won't even give me a chance?" Dean growled out, frustrastion taking over.
"You have to give him time dude..."
"I just want him to forgive me, I don't want to wait around and hope he sees I am not a piece of shit!" Dean punched the bed, he was a man of action and he really didn't like Cas hating him.
"You fucked up man, you can't expect him to forgive you just like that? No, you are going to have to hope Cas will give you another chance." Sam patted his shoulder.
"...I love him." Dean whispered, pain in his voice. "I only wanted to show him that...I..." Sam sighed and sat up.
"Did you tell him that?" When Dean shook his head Sam continued. "Well maybe you should, he needs to hear something from your heart...It could be the only thing that saves you."
Dean didn't trust his voice, he was too upset right now, so he nodded. When a punch landed on his upper arm, it was so hard it knocked him to the floor, he let out a yell.
"Ow! The fuck did you do that for!?" He glared at Sam and gritted his teeth, rubbing his arm.
"It is the least you deserve, now go find Castiel and let me get some sleep." Sam laid down and rolled away from Dean.
"...Bitch." Dean couldn't help but smile, even if he wasn't feeling very happy, that fucking hurt.
"Jerk." Dean heard his brother say as he shut the motel door. He wrapped his arms around himself, blocking out the cool night breeze. He needed to find Castiel and take another shot at making this right. So he was down to admitting his feelings, great. He sucked with true emotions, and even more with saying them out loud.
"Here goes...everything." He uncrossed his arms and got into his car to drive around town, hoping to run into Castiel.
He shouldn't drink, he knew that, it is what got him in trouble in the first place but he after ending up at the local bar three times, he gave in. Castiel was on his fifth drink when he saw Dean walk in. He didn't try to hide the frown when the two made eye contact, but eventually put on a fake smile, when Dean came up next to him.
"If you give me about another hour, I will be just the way you like me and we can go for round two?" His smile faded into an angry scowl by the time he finished the sentence.
"...You know I don't want that..." Dean sat down next to him, turning down the bartender when she asked what he would like to drink.
"Oh come on, you wanted it yesterday so why not tonight?" Cas downed the rest of his drink. "Or am I only good for one go?"
"...I think you've had enough." Dean stopped him from calling the bartender over.
"Ugh, your voice is so...grating." Cas shot him a look. "Fine, if you don't want me maybe one of these other humans will be willing to-"
"I said enough!" Dean slammed his fist on the bar, not liking the way Castiel was talking about himself or the possibility of someone putting their hands on him.
"Or you'll what!?" Cas shouted back, getting the attention of some of the other customers. "Are you going to beat me up this time as well!?"
"No, but I will drag your ass out of here!" Dean stood up, and Castiel followed.
"Figures you'd want me alone, makes it a lot easier doesn't it?" Cas stepped into his personal space, and whispered in his ear. "Why don't you invite a friend, I might need to be held down this time."
"Guys, either calm down or take it outside." The two barely acknowledged the bartender. Dean's jaw was clenched and Castiel knuckles were white from how hard he squeezed them together.
Dean relaxed first, closing his eyes, this isn't why he came here. "I don't know how many times you want me to say I'm sorry, so I will just keep saying it..." Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and opened his eyes to look at Castiel, he let his mask fall away and his emotions played freely on his face. "I know it doesn't make it right...I just...I have loved you for so long Castiel, and when you kissed me that night..." He rubbed his eyes quickly, letting his gaze fall to the floor. "I only wanted to show...I..." Dean stopped and shook his head, he couldn't think of a good enough way to express what he felt. "I...just wanted to forget everything and everyone, except for you..." He finished and continued his staring contest with the floor.
Castiel didn't say anything, but he seemed to relax and his glare softened. "You...love me?" He asked after a moment. Dean nodded.
"Yeah, like it is almost scary..." Dean softly admitted then backed away. "Well, that is what I wanted to tell you...I am going to the car now, if you want a ride...I'll be waiting, for however long you need me to."
Castiel still didn't say anything, he couldn't, his emotions were too confusing and he couldn't decide what he felt more. He watched Dean slowly walk away and disappear through the door before falling back into his seat.
"What can I get you?" The bartender came over after a moment and asked with hesitation.
"I have no idea..." Cas admitted, obviously not talking only about the drink, and hid his face in his hands. "I have no fucking idea..."