I was not thinking about that teacher. No, I wasn't. I was sitting in my chair, waiting for the train to stop, listening to my best friend talk about her summer.

Yes, that's right.

I let out a groan, my head thumping on the window as I not so gently leaned against it.

Bloody hell!

"Alex, what are you doing?" Alice frowned at me, probably wondering why I was acting like a complete distracted psychopath with amber eyes on the brain.

Damn it! I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT PROFESSOR WHAT'S-HIS-FACE!

'It's Professor R. J. Lupin, dear. And he does really have nice eyes.' My conscience oh so nicely put in, smiling at me as she did so.

Why the hell does my conscience look like that freaking nurse at Hogwarts?

"ALEX! Are you listening to me?" the blonde half-shouted at me, brows furrowing as with that annoyed glint in her blue eyes that was once my favorite color except now it's been replaced by the eyes of that person.

You know, I just realized, right at this moment, that during the time I've been friends with Alice that that was the sentence she repeated the most around me.

Huh. Pathetic isn't it?

I smile at her, "Of course I'm listening! I just wanted to… lean my head on the window."

Oh Merlin. That sounded completely stupid.

What if the Order of the Sparrow or whatever bird name they use captured me and interrogated me or something? Okay. So maybe they haven't re-formed it yet. But they may come back by the time I graduate so my reasons are legitimate!

Anyway, they'd be like: "What were you doing at the scene of the crime?" and I'd be like: "Uhh… Leaning against the wall..?"

Oh Merlin. I am so screwed.

Okay, don't panic. I'm not in the field yet. I have time to prepare and change my ways.

Note to self: Don't get caught doing something bad which you would obviously be doing when you become a Death Eater.

I gave a small frown as I repeated it to myself. It seemed a bit too long.

… P.S. Work on mental note taking skills

There. I'll work on that as soon as we reach Hogwarts.

"We're here!" Alice grinned at me, and I could almost see her urge to clap her hands excitedly at the prospect of a new learning filled year ahead.

I gave a strained smile back at her, "Whoopee."

I repeat: I am so screwed.

XXXXXXXXXX

Hogwarts has a lot of yellow.

Yes, I've seen through my biased haze of "Hogwarts-is-for-Gryffindor-haven't-you-seen-the-fire-engine-red-train-?!"

And I want it back.

Yellow is too close to amber which is the color that I've suddenly become attracted to for some odd reason that I really don't care to know.

It would pass.

Damn it. Why are the Hufflepuff so bloody addicted to yellow?!

I should hate yellow. Yellow saw me half-naked. Yellow is a teach—

Bloody hell! How did 'yellow' suddenly become a bloody code name?!

"Alex, are you alright? You look like you're about to stab someone." Alice whispered to me in concern as we got off the train.

"Yellow." I growled out, feeling my fists clench as I saw another Hufflepuff student walk by.

Why am I so irrationally attracted to that color all of a sudden?!

"You want to stab someone because of the color yellow? Or do you know a person named 'Yellow'?" she asked me, confusion apparent on her beautiful features.

How does one answer a loaded question like that without revealing important information?

"OOH!"

My eye twitched. And I floundered in the urge to run far, far away.

She made the sound. My eye twitched. It was all a sign. It was a warning sign, especially for me.

"You like someone, don't you!!!" she exclaimed excitedly, practically beaming my eyes out with the brightness of her smile.

How a person could ever conclude that from the fact that I wanted to stab something and it involved the color yellow was beyond me, but somehow, Alice had done it.

And, for the first time, she was wrong. Because there was no way that I had a crush on Yellow.

Bloody— Merlin—! Why was that capital 'y'?!

This was too complicated for my first few minutes back at Hogwarts. This was living proof that school messes with our lives, that school complicates everything that seems so simple as opposed to making things easy and understandable!

"No, I don't." I answered quickly, wanting to flush out the probable plans she was concocting in that intelligent mind of hers to get me together with who she thinks I like but I really don't.

"Sure you don't." she smiled slyly, obviously not believing me.

I let out a sigh, feeling a migraine coming on.

This was not how I wanted to begin the year.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Great Hall is a place where you can eat and chat with your friends, a place of happiness and comfort AKA my own personal hell.

Why? It's simply because, one, I do not have friends from my own house (Alice sits at the Ravenclaw table) which means I have to suffer eating alone. And two, I had numerous food allergies, some of which I'm not aware of, which results in my having to walk around egg shells every time I eat, and to add to that, I'm probably allergic to egg shells as well. In conclusion, every meal for me is a test to see whether or not I survive.

Anyway…

I looked up at the front, trying to see past all the heads crowding my line of vision, before finally seeing the lot of toads that were singing some song that I probably have never have heard of until now.

A few minutes passed before the song ended, and yes, it wasn't because it felt like it was that long as opposed to it being really that long.

On a positive note, Dumbledore was making his speech.

This is the most I've interacted with the wizard, watching him make the opening speeches every year. Sad isn't it? Plus, some of my soon-to-be Death Eater friends just might off him someday. I'm going to miss that old coot.

"Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say, before we become befuddled by our excellent feast. I myself am particularly looking forward to the flaming kiwi cups, which, while somewhat treacherous for those of us with facial hair..."

I stared at him blankly, which I'm sure, all of us were really…

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, throwing a sharp look at the Headmaster.

"Mm. Yes. First, I'm pleased to welcome Professor R. J. Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Good luck to you, Professor." He continued, smiling at the said professor.

The applause was scattered, and somewhere in the Gryffindor table I saw the Harry Potter boy clapping loudly with his friends.

I didn't clap. None from my table did. And I survived the past years from laying low so I wasn't about to start doing otherwise now.

I wasn't looking at him either.

Nope. I wasn't. The effort though, of trying not to, surprisingly took a lot. It was if something was pulling my eyes to him.

Of course, that was impossible, or if I was being generous, improbable.

I frowned.

'Just one little look won't hurt, will it?' some daredevil part of my mind spoke, egging me on.

Right… One little look…

It won't hurt anyone, or me.

Right? Okay.

I gave in and looked…

Bloody—

…And I swiftly looked away.

There was an unnatural heat in my cheeks, and for some reason, I was holding my breath as my heart sped up.

What was happening?

What's wrong with me? And…

I risked another glance at the man, only to find that he was talking to the professor beside him.

I felt relieved.

Maybe I had imagined it. Maybe it was some trick of light or something…

Because, there was no reason on this Earth that he would be looking at me.

Right? Right.

My eyes slid shut, and I let out the breath I had been holding.

No. Reason. At. All.

XXXXXXXXXX

I'm sure all of you are probably thinking along the same lines I am which is: "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!"

If you know the answer, then please, feel free to tell me. Haha! Review please!