Tony was relieved as Gibbs told him he would be taken care of in his own home, a small house, where Gibbs said he had vacation days and would spend time with him, and someone from the team wuld be there if he couldn't.

As they set Tony up at his home, and he could finally lay in his own bed, Tony asked Gibbs if he could stay with him, and keep the lights on. Gibbs agreed of course.

Ducky was of course concerned with the lack of weight, and the fact that he was half catatonic, sometimes they couldn't find any sign of Tony when they spoke to him, sometimes, he would speak again. Some bones hadn't healed properly, and were twisted, some had been rebroken several times in a short period of time, and Tony told Gibbs he had to reset them himself. It seemed Tony only felt completely safe when Gibbs was around.

Tony had so much to tell Gibbs, to explain, to express, but he just couldn't. Every time those memories turned up, and welled up under the surface, he would suddenly blanc out. Everything just seemed to stop. And he knew it was because he couldn't, or wouldn't, think about it. It was as if he was fighting a battle against himself, and the darker side was winning even though he didn't realy want it to. Or maybe he did, but didn't understand it. How did it all come to this? Why did this happen?

Flashback:

It had all gone smoothly until he'd said goodbye to Gibbs, and was transported inside. The first thing they did was remove his clothing and not replace it with anything. The next thing he knew, he had a black bag over his head and became completely desorientated and confused. Then the beating started. They told him to not make a whisper, to be silent, and he was. Always was good at taking orders, Tony had thought to himself then. It wasn't until the third dy of not sleeping, and utter darkness all the time, no food and almost no water, that he knew he would never break this case. It wasn't until two weeks later that he gave up on Gibbs getting him out. And then he would b too scared to tell anyone he was a federal agent, like it wasn't enough that the guards were beating him half to death when it suited them, constantly waking him up, asking stupid questions, no, if he told anyone he was a federal agent, the terrorists would recognize him immediatly, but call him their brother and pretend he was a well known terrorist. Either way, he was totally screwed.

End flashback.

"...come back to me Tony? Hello in there?" Gibbs's voice broke through the darkness, and Tony saw Gibbs hovering over him, snapping his fingers. He stopped when he saw Tony blink and look at him.

"Hi" Tony said.

"Hey you.. listen, Duck told me we could start with a little soup.. or broth, but broth tastes like crap warmed over, so I think maybe tomato soup'll do it" Gibbs said.

It was enough to make the heartmonitor beep faster.

What the hell? I only said tomatosoup? Why does he react like this? What did I do wrong? Why can't he tell me?

Gibbs's thoughts were racing a million miles per second, making it hard for him to make a descision.

"They gave me blood" Tony breathed. Gibbs almost couldn't hear it, but he froze when he heard it.

"They gave you blood?" he asked dumbly. Get a grip, Tony wouldn't lie about something like that you stupid old bastard! Now come on! Focus!

"They wante me to.. to eat it.. and when I wouldn't, they'd pour it down my throat.. they.. it was my own blood.." Tony said.

They fed him with his own blood? Sick bastards! I'm going to find them, empty them of blood and ma-

"Don't even think about going after them.. this is the government we're talking about Boss" Tony mumbled sleepily.

"Hey, don't fall asleep yet" I need you Tony. I need you to.. to make me safe again, to let me know you're still you , "and call me Gibbs, or Jethro, or whatever suits you" Why don't I care what he calls me? I should care, he works UNDER me! I'm his boss! I shouldn't get this attatched!

"Gibbs then" Tony mumbled, "I'm very tired"

"I know, but look, I brought this, drink this at least?" Gibbs asked, holding out a glass of water to Tony.

Tony lifted his hands, but as Gibbs slowly let go of the glass, Tony's hands and arms were drooping, an Gibbs pushed them down way to easily, lifting Tony's head up and letting him take agonizingly slow sips of the precious water. When Tony looked at him, he removed the glass and was pleased that it was almost completely empty.

"Good work" Gibbs said.

"That's all I need" Tony smiled and closed his eyes.

I'm an idiot. I had my chanses with Gibbs. He wouldn't kill me now, would he? Why am I even thinking about this? Why do I need him so much? I need him to push me.. and hold me.. maybe even... stop thinking about it stupid Tony! I should tell him! I should tell him what exactly? 'hey Gibbs, I've been secretly longing for your body against mine for years now, so, your bed or mine?' Yeah, cause he wouldn't smother me with a pillow right now if I did. Stupid brain. Stupid thoughts! Why can't I concentrate on getting better? Why am I even THINKING about telling Gibbs? Bad brain, very bad brain. Sleep. Sleeeep... sleeeeeeeeeeep... can't. I gotta say it!

"I love you" Tony mumbled and instantly fell asleep.

He didn't see the look Gibbs gave him.

Didn't feel the touch of Gibbs's arm on his, didn't feel the kiss planted on his forehead.

And he didn't hear the whispered

"I love you too Tony"

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AN: You likey? okay, okay, somewhat confused everyone? Kate's alive and Shepard is director? I KNOW! I should've told you guys, but I'm a little tired these days.. I needed someone with a grudge against Tony, and who better than a psychopatic bitch like Shepard who's used to get her own way? And I like writing Ziva, but felt Kate would be more appropriate in this setting. And besides, twilight never happened... did it? wink

Thanks for all the delicious reviews, and I'm sorry about the short chapter, but I'm still at the stupid hospital and trying to get better with a stupid stupid Internet connection that doesn't work half the time. I'll do my very best :)

Thank you guys! I love reviews and that people like this story, I woke up to 27 messages from fanfiction! Loved it! Thanks :D