Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the awesome reviews and favs! I am having so much fun writing this story, so I'm glad you're all having fun reading it!
A/N: This chapter gets a little closer to the eventual M rating. A bit of medical stuff that may be a bit squicky for some of you, and some of Duo's outraged swearing^^
Chapter 3: Picking Up the Pieces
Heero watched Duo as he slept, worn out from mental trauma (and from eating two helpings of green Jell-O in the time it took normal humans to eat one). He had always found it endearing how Duo ate like every meal might be his last, savoring each item as if he were afraid that he might never taste it again so he had to commit the taste to memory now. Heero knew it was a lasting facet of his life as a street orphan—the children on L2 had lived like a pack of wild dogs, devouring whatever food they happened to find quickly in case someone larger came around and tried to take it from them. They had scrapped over bits of food like animals and Duo remembered breaking another boy's finger in a fight over a rotten apple he had gone to great lengths to steal from a street vendor. Even now, though Duo had ample time to eat his meals, he still did so with a surprising celerity.
The former Wing pilot reached up to brush part of his lover's long bangs away from his forehead, wondering if he was dreaming. When Duo slept now, did he have dreams of the past as though it were his present, or did he perhaps dream of his recent life even if he couldn't remember it upon waking? Heero wished that there were some way he could infiltrate Duo's dreams, as they had infiltrated so many OZ bases, and rewire things so that he could bring back his memory, or at least make it so he dreamt of things that had happened since that fateful nearly-failed mission.
Duo moved a little in his sleep as he felt Heero's fingers touch his skin, his eyebrows twitching cutely. He rolled his head over to the side, closer to Heero, and murmured very distinctly, "I told you not to get the Whirlpool. I wanted the Maytag…"
Heero froze, hand still suspended over his lover's head. "What, Duo?" he asked softly, heart in his mouth. Two days before Duo had fallen off the roof, they had fought companionably over which new refrigerator to buy, to replace the old one that had come with the house and had finally breathed its last lukewarm breath on the first day of their dual vacation from work. Heero had wanted the Whirlpool because it was more energy-efficient, but Duo had argued for the Maytag, because it had the attached water and ice dispenser, which he had liked. If Duo remembered that now, then maybe he had gotten his memories back after all, or at least retained them within his subconscious.
"Fuck saving the planet…I want fresh ice," Duo told him clearly, wrinkling his nose at the thought of the inferior fridge his partner wanted to buy. Heero leaned over the bed, listening carefully. Duo had developed a tendency to talk in his sleep over the two years that they had lived together; he had never done so on missions, but after the first few nights of sleeping peacefully beside Heero after the war, he had started carrying on one-sided conversations with him while asleep.
If Heero woke, he sometimes answered the other boy or asked questions to amuse himself, but Duo rarely woke up and hardly ever remembered what he had said in the mornings—leading to a few very embarrassing stories from Heero over the breakfast table. Heero had always taken the sleep-talking as a sign of Duo's comfort with him—that he trusted Heero enough as he slept beside him to be able to revert back to a childhood tick that could have gotten him killed as a Gundam pilot. Even when they went on the occasional Preventers missions together, Duo never spoke until they were at home again in their own bed.
Now though, Heero's heart was racing at the thought that Duo was recalling something so recent. He was sorely tempted to wake the boy and find out if he truly remembered anything or was just dreaming, but he knew better than to bother him when he was so deeply asleep, especially when he very much needed all the rest he could get. He tried one last time, knowing that Duo was pretty reliable about talking back if asked a direct question.
"Duo, do you remember who I am?" he whispered, speaking above Duo's exposed ear.
The other boy smiled in his sleep. "You're the man who won't let me get my fridge…but I still love you, so shut up and let's go get something before my chopped Yuy goes bad…"
Heero smiled at the boy's willful mispronunciation of the food's name—he'd always called it that whenever he insisted on making it for dinner as a joke about his last name. Heero was also in charge of the family budget and could become something of a tyrant when his lover tried to buy something too extravagant, so Duo's cursing at him now was nothing out of the ordinary. They weren't pressed for money by any means, but Heero preferred living simply and planning for all possible contingencies. And he simply liked to deny his lover things sometimes, just to annoy Duo who always ranted at first and forgave him later, usually in mutually entertaining ways.
Well, he decided, sitting back in his chair by Duo's bedside, even if Duo didn't remember anything in the morning, at least Heero could be assured that he hadn't lost his memories completely. If they were there, he would find them.
Duo woke again when the same woman brought him and Heero breakfast the next morning. "Mmm, French toast…" he said happily around a yawn. Heero, who was already up, nodded in thanks to the woman who set the meal on Duo's tray table and scurried back out the door. Duo stretched as far as his IV would allow (which wasn't far) and struggled to sit up. Heero automatically jumped up to help him, rearranging the mountain of pillows comfortably.
Duo yawned again, then smacked his mouth distastefully. "Ick, morning breath. I feel so messy. I don't suppose you'll let me get up to take a shower or anything? And…speaking of which, why don't I need to go to the bathroom yet…?" the boy wondered out loud, his mind walking him through his usual morning routine on auto-pilot and his body feeling strange because he wasn't able to physically carry it out.
Heero sat beside Duo again, this time not asking for permission. He wanted to inquire about Duo's dreams, but he answered his lover's questions first as he again pulled the tray table closer and began to stick straws in the foil tops of the plastic juice containers— apple for Duo and orange for him. "I brought your toothpaste and brush to the hospital, so you can clean your teeth right here. No, I'm not going to let you up until the doctor says it's ok, and even then it's debatable. I can give you a sponge bath if you need one. And as for going to the bathroom, you're wearing a catheter. I'm surprised you had to ask." He reported everything calmly, but he was already bracing himself for Duo's blowup. It came without delay.
"A catheter?! How could you let them do that, you bastard? You know how I hate those things! Of course I didn't notice—I've been a little too busy worrying about that fucking pain medication and my head and oh, my loss of memories to spare thoughts for other parts of my body!" he fumed, gathering steam as he went on.
The doctor had come in early before his shift ended and reduced Duo's drip—clearly without him noticing—, so Duo was much more able to argue today than he had been yesterday. Heero thought he would probably be happy to discover this fact when he stopped to think. He still went on though, his cheeks reddening.
"Ugh, I don't even want to think about other people touching me like that—at least tell me you didn't watch…" Heero took a sip of juice, deciding silence was best until Duo finished his rant. He started surreptitiously cutting up Duo's toast for him into manageable bites and opened the little packet of syrup.
"And don't think you're in charge of my recovery. As soon as the doctor says I'm free, I'm out of here and you can just deal with it. I'm not staying in here any longer than I have too—I'd leave now if I wasn't poked full of fucking needles and tubes." Duo paused to take a breath and only just then seemed to notice that his French toast had magically split up into perfectly edible squares. Automatically, he poured the opened syrup over them and took a quick bite before continuing (Heero hid his satisfied smile behind the sausage link he was nibbling).
"And, if you try to give me a sponge bath, I'll break your fucking arm, Yuy. Don't think I won't, just because we're friends. No one gets that close." He took another bite to indicate that he was finished lecturing and followed it with a sip of the miraculously opened juice.
"Anything you say, Duo," Heero replied solemnly, not wanting to argue with Duo this early in the morning. He was just happy to see the other boy so lively again after so long watching him lying almost lifeless on the hospital bed. He was clearly feeling better and healing well, even if he didn't notice it yet himself. It really wouldn't be long until the doctor signed his release and as much as Heero also wanted to get him out of the hospital and into his own care, he also knew that Duo would be a lot harder to control if he wasn't hooked up to multiple IVs and monitors, where just the added drip of a sedative would knock him out again. Heero knew from experience that Duo was a danger to himself while healing, always wanting to push himself to become active again before his body was ready, and inevitably making things worse rather than better.
"That's more like it," Duo approved, liking Heero's easy acquiescence. He didn't remember Heero always being this easy to get along with, but he wasn't about to complain about it at the moment. Right now he was too busy downing bites of sausage and toast to care.
After breakfast, Heero, as promised, brought Duo his toothbrush and paste along with a cup of rinse water and another to spit it in when he was done. Duo felt much better with clean teeth and with his stomach full again, his mood improved greatly. He still felt dirty after who-knew-how-many days without a shower and whenever he moved he could now feel the catheter firmly embedded deep within his dick, which made him wince, but he could tell he was getting better and that alone was enough to make him cheerful.
Heero had pulled back the thick curtains over his bedside window to reveal a sunny spring day and a view of the cityscape from their 10th floor room in the intensive care ward. Duo was technically supposed to be moved to a lesser priority ward for recovering patients, but as the ICU wasn't particularly full, the doctor said to just leave him where he was, rather than risking injury in moving him around just yet. Duo was perfectly happy with that plan, as it secured him his window and superior view.
Quatre came in to visit again after breakfast and Heero took the opportunity to use Duo's bathroom shower to freshen up. Duo shot him a dirty look as he retreated into the tiny room with his bag of toiletries—compliments of Quatre, who had stopped by their house for them—but the Winner easily distracted him with polite conversation.
As he had promised, Quatre filled Duo in on the larger things he had forgotten in the last few years. He started, of course, with the end of the war and the disarmament and went up through the establishment of the Preventers. He told Duo where the other pilots were now and what their other friends were up to. Wufei, Sally, and Lady Une were part of the Preventers, Relena had taken her late foster father's position as a vice foreign minister, and Noin and Zechs were currently on Mars working on her terraforming project. Hilde had married a former member of the Treize faction and had joined a charity organization that helped rebuild the colonies after the war—especially L2, which had been hit the hardest. Trowa was an executive at Winner Enterprises, specializing in arts and entertainment among the colonies.
The Winner skirted around the issues that were more personal to Duo himself, knowing that it was Heero's job to fill him in on those types of things. He wouldn't tell Duo where he worked or lived or what he had been doing in the past two years, but only mentioned vague details that didn't help much. It annoyed Duo, but he was still too happy about his eminent recovery to get too worked up about it yet.
They were deep in conversation about Hilde's work with the new home for orphaned children on L2 when Heero emerged from the bathroom amid a cloud of steam. Duo's violet eyes were drawn to the other boy and they widened when he saw that Heero was only wearing a small, hospital-issue towel tied snugly around his slim waist. He trailed off in whatever he was saying to the Winner, watching Heero instead.
The other boy casually walked by the bed on his way to the overnight bag Quatre had brought him and bent to rummage through it for some clean clothes to change into. Quatre caught Duo staring at Heero's behind and hid a smile behind his hand. Duo may not remember the feelings he had for Heero now or even during the latter part of the war, but the evidence of his attraction was plain on his blushing face.
Duo tried to cover up his obvious lapse in conversation. He crossed his arms as best he could with the IV lines still in and said, blunt as ever, "Geeze, Heero, put some clothes on, will you? This isn't a swimsuit competition."
Heero looked up, a variety of garments in his hands. "I know better than to compete with you, Duo," he stated clearly as he made his way back towards the bathroom. He was feeling rebellious with the pent-up sexual frustration of being denied for over a week, and he couldn't help snapping back breezily with, "Nothing I put on could ever compare to that little black Speedo you wore for me." He shut the door quickly before he could see Duo's reaction, but he could hear it though the thin door.
"What?!" Duo cried in outrage as Quatre instantly tried to shush him. "There is no way I would EVER be caught DEAD wearing a Speedo! That's just so…so…" he trailed off again, flustered, both by the fact that he apparently had gotten a lot more cavalier in his dress and that Heero was well-acquainted with his personal wardrobe.
"Gay?" Quatre supplied, giggling. "I know I probably shouldn't share this, but I've seen you in it too—when you and Heero came with the rest of us pilots on a vacation last year to the beach resort on the west coast…"
"Aagghhh…" Duo groaned, fading back into the pillows and covering his eyes dramatically with his arm. "Go ahead and shoot me now. Put me out of my misery," he begged.
"Now," the Winner said gently, "Don't let Heero hear you say that. As you know, he's been very touchy about that sort of thing lately."
Duo's outrage immediately dissipated as he remembered Heero's last reaction to the mention of his death. "I know, Quat," he said more quietly.
Without thinking, he toyed with the marriage band around his left ring finger—a habit he had built over the years. Noticing a slight roughness on the underside, he lifted his arm from over his face and curiously removed the ring to examine it more closely. Up until now, he'd been trying to ignore its presence, but he felt a sudden urgency to know more about it if he could, hoping maybe the small metal object could provide some answers.
He held it up to the light, going nearly cross-eyed as he tried to decipher the delicate inscription carved around the inside. It read: Heero & Duo ©June 21, A.C. 196.
"The first day of summer," Duo said softly, staring at the date and the pair of names before it.
"You wanted it to be outside," Quatre told him. "So you could—"
"See the Earth," Duo finished with him, not taking his eyes off of the tiny gold band.
Quatre gasped, his aqua eyes going wide. "Do you remember it, Duo?" he asked, suddenly excited.
Duo shook his head, breaking his contact with the ring, and said glumly, "No. It just seems like something I would say if we really won the war like that. I would want to be outside, like having all of the world witnessing it," he added, almost too low for Quatre to hear, "I wish I could remember it…"
Heero came back out of the bathroom then and Duo quickly jammed the ring back onto his finger and hid his hand impulsively under the sheets. His husband, looking happy in his fresh clothes as he carried the old ones over to drop beside his bag, didn't notice. "Thanks again," he told Quatre, grateful that the other boy had offered to stop by their house for him. Like Duo, he hadn't showered in a week and was fairly certain that his state of uncleanness wouldn't help matters in the hospital.
"It's no problem, Heero," the Winner assured him warmly. "If you two need anything else, please just ask me. I should probably be going now, but call me if you need something and me or Trowa will get it to you. I'll try to stop by again tomorrow."
"How about a couple of syringes and a fake disguise so I can sneak out?" Duo asked plaintively.
"There will be no sneaking," Heero informed him firmly. Duo stuck his tongue out at the boy from behind his back and Quatre smiled.
"Sorry, Duo, but Heero's right. The only way you leave is with one of us and a clean bill of health."
"But that could take another week!" the boy protested.
"Good!" Quatre and Heero said in unison. Duo could clearly see he wasn't going to win any arguments against the both of them. He huffed in annoyance but held back any additional comments, trying to convince himself that his friends were just looking out for his well-being. Quatre said good-bye and exited the room, leaving Heero and Duo alone again.
As though Quatre's departure had suddenly left Duo feeling tried, the boy yawned and snuggled back into his pillow mountain. "Mmm, looks like it's naptime," he said with his mouth wide open. Heero smiled and went to reclaim his bedside chair. Duo watched as he opened a case and pulled out the ubiquitous laptop that he remembered so well from their various missions.
"In two years, haven't I cured you of carrying that thing around?" he asked playfully as he wriggled from side to side, trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep in.
Heero laughed as he booted it up. "Not yet. Although you'll be happy to learn that I don't usually carry it around—I'm just a little behind on some reports, so I'll type them while you sleep."
"Reports of what?" Duo weaseled, still not aware of what exactly their jobs were.
"Later," Heero said and Duo wanted to protest, but his eyelids drooped and a minute later, he was asleep.
Heero woke him again so they could share a lunch of macaroni and cheese and they watched a Pay-Per-View movie on Heero's laptop afterwards. The doctor visited again before dinner to check Duo's progress but left without giving any indication of his possible date of freedom. After dinner, Heero continued to fill out his mysterious reports and Duo contented himself with doing a crossword in the paper—Heero wouldn't let him read the rest of it.
When he began to yawn again, Heero looked up from his typing. "You should get some sleep, Duo," he said.
Duo looked at him, still sitting upright in his chair, exhibiting perfect posture. "What about you? You have to sleep sometime too, Mr. Perfect Soldier."
Heero shrugged. "I'll sleep here when I'm finished. I've slept here every night."
Duo was momentarily distracted by that announcement. "You mean in that chair? But don't they kick you out after visiting hours?" he wondered.
Heero grinned. "Not after the first time they tried," he said proudly.
Duo paled. "Tell me you didn't pull a gun on some poor orderly!"
"No guns, but I was pretty frantic. Once Quatre informed the staff of what our previous 'jobs' were, however, and how 'unstable' we could become if antagonized, they were more than happy to let me stay with you."
Duo groaned, embarrassed but also a little amused as he tried to picture the scene. "I see. Well, you can't keep sleeping in that chair—you'll break your back. You can at least go find a couch in the waiting room."
"Out of the question. I'm not leaving this room until we leave it together."
Duo heaved a sigh, knowing there was no point in trying to convince Heero otherwise tonight. "Fine…" he grumbled and started scooting over inch-by-inch, as far as his drips would allow.
Thinking that Duo was making a sorry bid for escape, Heero stood quickly. "What are you doing now?" he demanded—he had thought Duo was ready for bed!
"I'm making room for you, baka," Duo said irritably, as though it should be perfectly obvious. "If you won't leave, then you're going to have to sleep in the bed with me. I'm not going to be responsible for you getting shit for sleep in that damn chair."
Heero blinked, surprised by Duo's adamant offer. He knew that Duo had reverted back to a time before they had been used to sharing intimacies and he had resigned himself to that, but now here Duo was demanding they sleep in the same bed. It seemed that if Duo initiated the contact, he didn't seem to be upset over it, whereas any extraneous touching on Heero's part startled him.
Perhaps, thought Heero, he just saw this as a time like any other mission where they had been forced to sleep together for warmth or lack of space. He had never seemed uncomfortable then, when necessity called for their proximity, and had, of course, touched him at other times in purely friendly ways, like an arm around his shoulders. Heero wished he knew what was going on in his lover's head, but he was so desperate for anything Duo was willing to give him, that he couldn't protest now.
"If you insist…" he said, leaning back over to shut down his laptop.
"Just get in, Yuy. I'm not going to tell you again," Duo said sleepily. Heero couldn't help but smile as he quickly closed the curtains around the room and removed his shoes. He already wore comfortable sweat pants and a t-shirt, so he didn't bother changing for bed. After he shut off the light, leaving the small bulb glowing in the outlet by the floor, he approached the bed. As there were wires and tubes on both sides of Duo, he deftly wriggled under the ones on his right and lay beside his lover, pulling the sheets up over the both of them.
Duo, unable to turn on either side comfortably, moved his arm to lie over his belly so Heero could get closer and away from the edge of the small bed. Heero carefully slid his arm under Duo's neck and the other boy instinctively rolled into him, resting his head on Heero's shoulder, too sleepy to protest the more-than-friendly gesture. Heero smiled to himself and waited until he was sure Duo was asleep before drifting off himself to the sounds of the drips and beeps of the various pieces of equipment in their room.