A/N: Hey! Hey! Hey!

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. My computer hard drive died the night chynna18rawrr asked me to update. It was hell to get all my shit back. And I had been going through things I'd rather not speak of and that I would never wish on anyone. ):

But I'm back now and I promise on my bitchy three kitties, that I will regularly update from here. Besides, it's summer! Haha.

Oo, chynna18rawrr if you're reading, this is for youuuuuu(:

Sorry, I couldn't get it in April or May.

Warnings: Sasuke and Naruto have potty mouths this chapter. Oh, sasunaru action! [is that even a warning?]

P.S.| There will be no SASUSAKU in this story what so ever. Seriously. I would throw up on my brand new keyboard and then commit suicide. Just kidding but only slightly. Besides I don't need to add that in to make my story complicated and dramatic. Capeesh?

I'll give you incite into their nonexistent relationship next chapter.

The Wedding Planner

By: N a i. K i r e i. Y u k i.

Summary: My wedding planner is a complete dobe… He's loud, annoying, and forgetful… But the worst part about the situation is that… I think I'm falling in love with him. Great.

Naruto looked up toward the tall arched ceiling praying for his inner Christ to intervene but no intervention ever came. He sighed, exasperated from the rigorous mental activities and reluctantly released the door.

Sasuke stepped on the tile rather triumphantly. Naruto wanted to smack the vile smirk off the arrogant business owner's face. But he resisted the urge no matter how lavishly the idea presented itself.

"Good boy." A hint of amusement intertwined with his voice as he patted the golden spikes mockingly.

Naruto growled, "Asshole! I'm not your dog! If you want one there are plenty of homeless, diseased dogs in downtown L.A. that are begging for-your-attention!" Naruto launched himself at the taller man desperately trying to reach in for a staggering blow, preferably one in the jaw.

Sasuke took a step back and grabbed his wrists, immobilizing his attempted vicious attacks. He quirked a thinly shaped brow. No one had ever come at him with such vigor before. He nearly reminded him of a stubborn kitsune battling its peers for a pound of meat.

Sasuke pulled at his wrists until their hot bodies were pressed together…

Naruto was miffed how they were situated like perfect puzzle pieces…

Naruto rejected Sasuke's touch and his close proximity like he had been burned—in a way he was—taking a step back quickly.

Sasuke was peeved by Naruto's unusual behavior; he rather liked the predicament he had placed them in.

A little too much.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Sasuke smirked, tauntingly.

"Go to hell, Sasuke." Naruto growled, glaring at Sasuke with expressive blue eyes.

"Already here," Sasuke sighed looking about the foyer, approvingly.

"My house is not a hellhole," Naruto glared, pointing a finger in Sasuke's face disrespectfully.

Sasuke only enjoyed the view of the riled, younger man completely disregarding the finger.

"Actually, with you here," Naruto began rousing Sasuke's attention, "It just might have just finally frozen over," Naruto chuckled lowering his arm to his side. The Uchiha's scowl was more than priceless. It was like finally getting your child to shut the hell up on a three hour plane flight. Complete bliss. He loved how Sasuke's expensive bejeweled high-horse just lowered into the molten lava and a frown marred his perfect features.

Sasuke's teeth clenched.

'He's still on about that damn frosty the snowman shit.'

"I think I'm ready now." The blond propped his hands on his hips, a sigh of relief escaping him before his face hardened again, "Come in, you bastard."

Naruto moved to close his door, unknowingly sealing his fate.

Sasuke walked to the small wooden hall table picking up a picture of Naruto as a child. His familiar broad smile was stretched across his face, except…

"Hn, hard to believe something so uncouth was even born." Sasuke examined the framed photo even closer, narrowing his eyes to capture just enough ammunition for the moment.

"Don't touch that!" Naruto heatedly snatched the image frame of his younger self from the Uchiha's touchy hands.

"While we're on the subject, don't touch anything! Now, go sit over there and keep your dirty paws to yourself!" Naruto pointed to the lounge area with the two couches.

Sasuke's devious smirk returned, amused by Naruto's fiery nature.

"If only you still had no teeth," Sasuke teased his lips quirking into a slight smile at the flash of red that reflected in the usually blue eyes.

"That's it! You're dead!" Naruto replaced the picture neatly in its rightful area, swinging his fist at Sasuke recklessly. Sasuke gracefully dodged it, simply just stepping to the side, whisking the back of his hand into Naruto's head.

"Ow!" Naruto cried out childishly, cradling the side of his head. "Friggin' jerk!"

Naruto turned around aiming his left jab to Sasuke's jaw, to see the teme holding a small yellow envelope to his nose, "Huh?" Naruto's blinked azure eyes, paralyzed in the violent moment.

"Hn, shouldn't you be looking at this?"

Naruto snarled snatching it from his hand, "UGH!"

"Move." Naruto pushed past Sasuke dragging down the hallway.

Sasuke eyes twinkled at the sight of Naruto's gray t-shirt ridden up on his hips revealing more than just a sliver of tan flesh as his sweat pants hung low on his hips.

'He's tan everywhere?'

Sasuke tilted his head to inspect Naruto's hip's natural sway in full swing.

'Nice view.'

Sasuke nodded to himself in affirmation before following Naruto to the living area.

"Let's go."

Naruto walked to the transparent glass table, placing the folder next to his Apple laptop, sighing.

Sasuke looked around the Colonial styled house in acceptance. He had to admit the dobe had a sense of style. Everything was organized and looked invariably expensive, especially the wooden carriage wheel across the room hanging on the beige wall above the head of the love seat.

Naruto walked past the couch arm, turning to Sasuke, a harsh expression present on his face. "Now, stay—remember—don't touch anything! I'll be right back!"

Naruto hurried down the hall leaving Sasuke in a pool of wonderment.

"Almost done!" Naruto pulled the oven handle back, feeling the surge of heat slap him right in the face. These were moments where he enjoyed the warm air though he was more into cold weather…

Naruto froze in the midst of pulling the large metal pan out of the oven.

"My God does that mean that I like s-snowmen?" Naruto froze, his eyes wide.

Naruto chuckled to himself shaking his head, "Of course I don't. I would never like it in a winter wonderland…" Naruto tried to convince himself that endless hours of play in the crystal snowflakes and bundling in cute winter attire wouldn't suit him. Because it so would. In California, there wasn't much room for change of a wardrobe with the continuous weather year round. That simple fact almost made him want to relocate to Flagstaff, Arizona where they actually experienced seasons. But then again, there wasn't much stood up straight to grab the oven mitts next on the counter to pull out his master piece lasagnafrom her heated home. He placed her on the marble counter, but not before admiring her tender noodles oozing with Italian seasoned tomato sauce coated melted mozzarella cheese in the 13x9 pan. He turned back around and pulled out the drawer, finding the sharp spatula to cut the pasta. Naruto sighed with a smile. Boy, did he love making his own creations in the comfort of his own home. No one to have to share with, no one to ostracize the food, no one—

Naruto shrieked at the tall man hovering over his dinner.

"Sasuke! I told you not to move from the couch!" Naruto hand gripped the spatula tightly as he snarled at Sasuke's disobedience.

Sasuke was deaf to Naruto's angry ranting. His gaze was enraptured in the steamy, delectable lasagna dish offering him undeniably sensational aromas.

"Can I- Can I have some?" Sasuke stare was intense. He swallowed hard as his mouth gaped open.

Naruto jerked back. "No, you can't have any! It's mine! I made it and shouldn't have to share it!" Naruto stamped his foot, clenching his fists at his sides.

Sasuke ignored him again, having an imaginary staring contest with the food, as if it were challenging his ability to get some of her tasty bits. His mouth began to water and he silently vowed to himself that he would get a piece that particular cuisine. He couldn't pass up the tomato sauce drenched lasagna.

Naruto grimaced at the sight of the drool dribbling down the chin of the supposed to be respectable Uchiha.

"Don't drool on my food, Sasuke! Ew!" Naruto expressed loudly, snatching a cloth napkin from his inner fabric holster and dabbed it on Sasuke's moist chin up to his lower lip.

'Are those diced tomatoes? I had no idea the dobe could cook.'

"Hey—" Naruto yelled out only to be interrupted by the empty stare of the dark haired man.

Naruto shivered. Why was Sasuke the only one who made feel these certain array of emotions? Guilty. He shouldn't feel bad for not wanting jovially giving away food that he slaved over for three hours in his own kitchen. He should be beating Sasuke's pompous ass for asking such a question but instead he was stuck here with a lump in throat, actually thinking about doing what his pride wouldn't allow.

Surrendering.

"No," Naruto growled.

Sasuke continued to stare causing Naruto's eyebrow to twitch.

"UGH! Whatever!" Naruto cut a sizeable portion of the upper left corner and placed the freshly baked pasta on the pristine plate.

He huffed, carelessly putting a fork on the side of his plate. "There. Happy?" Naruto grunted turning to the fridge.

Sasuke smirked. What an Uchiha wants he always gets. How he loved to see the fashionably precocious blond so irritated by none other than him. Taunting the dobe just might have become his favorite new pass time. He could almost see the bright flashy commercial: Angry! Vengeful! Blond! Promised to bring endless hours of entertainment! Mattel's brand new toy – The Dobe. Buy at Toys R Us near you! Yeah… That would be nice.

Naruto closed the industrial sized fridge placing a crisp tossed salad in a deep glass bowl on the counter. He pulled the drawer near his hip and took out the salad tongs, clicking them together once. Salad always complemented the best of meals and it always made him feel less guilty for three bowls of ramen and bag and half of twizzlers he ate earlier in the day. It made him feel—healthy. And that was all that mattered. He couldn't help but smirk at the thought.

Naruto looked up to see Sasuke staring at him again. Naruto's pleasant expression dissipated into a harsh frown. "Are you serious?"

"Can I have some o—?"

"You are so annoying!" Naruto stomped away slamming to the high wooden cupboard adjacent to the oven opening it, muttering to himself.

"You know," Sasuke began. "You should be more impartial to your paying customers."

"How I can be impartial to such a bastard like you?" Naruto slammed down two small glass bowls to the counter so hard it was a mystery how they didn't break. He didn't intend to mistreat his precious dishes but Sasuke flared his temper so much. "Besides, you've yet to pay me a cent. So, I'm permitted behave anyway I want towards you. Your fiancée isn't as gold digging as you once perceived. She actually paid me with her own money."

Sasuke stiffened. He did he have a point. Naruto: 1. Sasuke: 0.

After, Naruto finished distributing the green tomato salad and passed Sasuke his bowl returning to the fridge. "That's all you get for free."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at the odd statement. Was Naruto honestly expecting him to pay if he desired more of his gourmet proficiency?

Naruto unexpectedly produced a bottle of wine and a bowl of what looked homemade vinaigrette salad dressing.

"Naruto—"

"Oh my God! Do you want my goddamn bathroom sink too!" Naruto hissed as the loud clack of the wine on the counter stilled the intense encounter of he two opposing sides.

"If you're offering, who am I to decline?" Sasuke said. He could almost see the pit of flames and pillars of smoke surrounding the smaller man.

"Well, you can have it." Naruto huffed out, harshly pealing off the protective plastic covering the salad dressing only to toss it down.

Sasuke bit his lip to choke back a chuckle. Provoking this idiot had to be the perk of the raven's day.

"Upside your damn head!" Naruto blue eyes burned fury as he yelled out, reluctantly sharing the eighty year old wine.

Sasuke frowned at the cruel tone and the violent implication of the statement. Naruto wouldn't be stupid as to try to throw a sink at his head… Actually, nevermind.

"Just sit over at the table. If you spill anything, you owe me two table cloths." Naruto mentioned, pouring the salad dressing onto the salads.

Sasuke furrowed his brows. What the hell? Could he be anymore cryptic?

"Why would I owe you two tablecloths?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"To replace the one you ruined and another one to apologize for ruining the first." Naruto said simply.

"You're an idiot."

"Look here, this is my playpen and if you spill something on the tablecloth that's the protocol. If it's too risqué you, you can always eat on the veranda. I won't mind. Really." Naruto shrugged. He couldn't help but peep at the stoic ice princess' troubled face. He stifled a snide chuckle. Naruto always thought the doctors should always take his medicine before prescribing to his patients. They deserved it. He fucking hated doctors. There was just something untrustworthy about them and their too-white-jackets and their phony smiles. It was almost like this was the third jacket change for the day because the previous ones were soaked in blood. The false smiles were just buttering you up for your inevitable demise.

"Hn. Whatever."

They prepared to eat as Naruto settled everything on the table, keeping his hawk gaze on Sasuke.

Sasuke pulled out his chair, sitting down and returned the glare. "What?"

"Shut up," Naruto fired back instantly.

Sasuke scowl deepened as he observed Naruto lowering himself on the other side of the table with great precaution. Why was he looking at him with such distain? Like he was a poop stain or something. Sasuke's gaze shifted to his dinner and just like that he felt a little less hungry.

Sasuke lifted the fork to taste the lasagna for the first time. He was astounded at how easily the fork was swallowed by the supple noodles. The cheese was gooey and left a trail as he put it in his mouth.

As he closed his eyes, a slow an array of colors danced in front of his vision and sparks burst on his taste buds—

"Sasuke—what the hell is wrong with you?" Naruto was slightly drawn back from the table, fork in hand. Sasuke noticed the look of disgust on his face.

The dark haired man paused chewing to stare at the horrified blond.

"Does Sakura not cook or something?" Naruto asked trying to gain some kind of incite on why Sasuke looked like a malnourished kitten that hadn't eaten a decent meal in months.

Silence greeted Naruto.

Naruto's mouth made a 'o'. Now he got it.

"Well, you only have the rest of your lives left together. I'm sure in the afterlife they have delicious cooked meals." Naruto smiled taking a large gleeful bite of his food.

The black gawk set on Naruto was cold and blank—the Uzumaki completely unaware of the look he was getting.

"You're lucky to live in L.A. ya know? There's a variety of restaurants around—you can get to know most of the chefs. Maybe they'll give you a discount because that's bound to become costly. Though you wouldn't deserve it."

"Shut the hell up, dumbass." Sasuke growled beginning to appreciate the quality of the meal.

Naruto broke out into a mischievous grin and sang out, "You're only mad because I'mmmm right."

Sasuke glared and finished devouring the delectable meal down to the last morsel. Sasuke couldn't remember ever eating a meal that succulent since he was diapers. Wait, he couldn't remember back that far. Correction: he had never such a delicious meal in his life. When he was younger, he had always been fed by chefs and maids that never allowed seasoning, trans fats, or God forbid calories into their food. It left the entire flavor for all daily meals to be desired.

MSG equated to murder in their books. Just in the span of fifteen minutes, Naruto just reminded him that eating could be enjoyable.

Naruto smirked at Sasuke's empty plate. Someone enjoyed his cooking… Not just him.

He had almost completed his dinner not including the scattered strips of salad and a single cherry tomato. He smacked petal pink lips together and inched his fork closer when unexpectedly Sasuke's fork countered his own, swiping the small fruit from the plate.

Naruto looked up in shock as Sasuke popped the tomato into his mouth with a challenging smirk.

Did he just… No one ever had eaten his food—right off his plate before.

Naruto stood suddenly, knocking his chair on its side—fingers digging into his palms, "Teme!"

After they finished cleaning the kitchen—Naruto washing the dishes, Sasuke drying them—they took comfort in the den area.

"Why are you still here?" Naruto drawled, slapping the yellow envelope against his face.

"Is it a problem for you?" Sasuke asked standing behind the microfibre couch.

"Yes!" Naruto hollered slapping the envelope to his lap. "Let's do a small evaluation. One, you don't live here. Two, you already delivered the message." Naruto slightly turned to him to emphasize the small package in his hand. "Three, I just fed you."

"But it's so cozy here. You just make me feel so welcome," Sasuke pitched waiting to gage the blond's reaction.

"Don't get used to it, you piece of crap." Naruto sighed unfastening the envelope to see it's contents. As he pulled the papers out he was anxious to see what flowers Sakura was considering. He had wished that she had been here to discuss the preparation or arrangement she desired for the overall scheme of the event. Unfortunately, she had sent the incompetent teme in her place to handle a socially developed individual's job.

The ways his customers complicated his life! Sometimes he felt like he needed a deserted mountain to scream on. Like in the movies. It seemed to relieve their stress.

"What did she give you?" Naruto turned to his left not realizing how close the Uchiha actually was.

Nose tip to nose tip, Naruto felt Sasuke's warm breath fanning his cheek in large puffs. As blue bled into black and for the first time Naruto realized Sasuke's eyes weren't smooth obsidian but rather slick silver. The unexpected smack on the intoxicating—captivating—scent of Sasuke's expensive cologne chased away all the air right from his lungs. What was more terrifying was the complete and complacent barrel of emotions bundled in his chest.

Naruto bit his lip, trying to intercept the need to move closer and disregard the fact that Sasuke wasn't moving away either. Some role model he was.

Dark locks tickled Naruto's cherry cheeks as his brushed insistently against Sasuke's.

Sasuke eventually pulled away with a big sigh. Naruto stiffened thinking he couldn't have made a bigger fool of himself.

"Desperation at it's finest. Smooth Naruto…"

Without a word, Sasuke joined him in the couch.

Naruto released a much needed but shallow breath shamefully taking his first glance at the pictures in his lap.

They were fuchsia Peonies. His favorite flower.

It turns out "the ditz" had excellent taste in flowers. It made Naruto's heart sink even lower.

"Purple?" Sasuke asked more to himself than to Naruto.

Naruto was dissatisfied with Sasuke acting like they didn't… "If you're going to be here, be quiet." Naruto said sternly pulling his laptop onto his lap, flipping it open. "Even though it's late, I have work to do."

Connect…

In a eerily calm silence, Naruto beat away at his laptop keys, the sound waning as his head nodding off several times. Sasuke's looked at the sharp gorgeous features of the wedding planner—his wedding planner—with a large gulp. Temptation was high but self restraint always won the gold.

Naruto's head eventually fell onto Sasuke's shoulder resting there as he fell into a blissful slumber, his exhaustion evident.

Sasuke stared at the mop of blond hair in wonder, his conflicting feelings battling as he closed the younger man's laptop down. He took the device and placed at the glass center table, careful not to wake Naruto. Sasuke heaved the man into his arms and carried him up the seemingly endless flight of stairs. He assumed the biggest room down the hall was the master bedroom and he set him down in the queen sized bed.

Naruto released a soft sigh, sweet lips gaping slightly.

Sasuke watched in silent admiration.

He had never seen someone so peaceful and beautiful when they were asleep, especially someone who was feisty and boisterous during the day.

Sasuke hovered over the majestic creature, not believing what he what he was about to do next…

Wanna find out what happens?

I'm the writer, my ego is the monster. And she's hungry /:

But! B-U-T -T, if you feed her enough she'll give you a chapter again by the end of the week. Sound good? Do we have a deal? :D

Well, I'm off to bed. Good night.