Blisters on Her Feet

(while watching past pageant winners receive their crowns)
"Look, she's gonna cry again... 'Oh! If I only had a brain!'"
—Gracie Hart, Miss Congeniality

"I don't think pink is your color, Hinata," Kiba said. "And I'm sure Sakura will wear green for her evening gown, Anko will take a dark purple, Karin will probably take black…" He grinned. "God, I can't wait for the show to start."

Hinata gaped at him, and Kiba added hastily, "Of course, I'll be rooting for you!"

Hinata stifled a sigh. Instead, she asked, "Where's Shino-kun?" She hadn't seen him since the two of them, along with Akamaru, first arrived at the Hyuuga compound.

Kiba's smile turned decidedly impish, and he waved a hand. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, Hinata. Now," he said, reaching into his bag and holding up bolts of fabric, "Lavender, or pale blue?"

Akamaru butted his nose against Hinata's hand sympathetically. Well, at least someone was on her side.

Hinata worried her lip as she considered, but was spared the trouble of answering by the arrival of Shino. She jumped, startled, when he slipped silently into her room and spoke.

"A slightly darker shade of lavender would bring out her eyes."

Kiba studied the fabric, holding it up against Hinata's shirt. She flamed red at the attention. Kiba noticed and shook his head.

"Hinata, you're going to have to get over your stage fright if you want to win this thing."

I don't even want to be in the pageant, Hinata thought.

"Anyway," Kiba said, shifting his gaze to Shino, "You're right. I'll get a darker color. So, tell me – did you find anything?"

Shino nodded.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense," Kiba said impatiently. "What's going on?"

"Chouji's being used as leverage against Shikamaru," Shino said, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "Anko's behind it."

"Naturally," Kiba said, hardly ruffled. "That bitch is crazy." Akamaru growled in agreement, and Kiba ran his fingers absently through the fur on his side. He looked lost in thought.

Finally, he snapped out of his daze and looked hard at Hinata, then Shino.

"This pageant isn't going to be easy to win," he said. "It's going to take cunning. It's going to take courage. And, Hinata," he added gravely, turning to her. Her knees shook at the serious expression on his face as he went on, "It's going to take bikini wax."

Hinata fainted.

Kiba frowned at Shino. "I don't like doing this to her, but she can never know what we're about to do."

Shino nodded grimly, expression – what little of it could be seen, anyway – hard. "Let's go."

And with a bark from Akamaru, they disappeared.

Hinata was left lying on the floor.

-x-

In another part of the Hyuuga compound, Neji was picking out materials for his own teammate. Several maids had gone out and bought makeup, fabric, gowns, accessories, and other such beauty-making materials. Neji didn't understand them, no matter what Hanabi seemed to think.

"My hair is naturally like this," he said through gritted teeth.

She only smirked at him, running a hand over a bolt of white satin. "Naturally strawberry-scented?"

Neji barely refrained from snapping at her. His hair did not smell like strawberries! That was so ridiculously feminine.

Turning his back on his cousin, Neji picked up two bottles of shampoo and examined them critically. Did Tenten need more bounce in her hair, or perhaps more shine?

Just to be safe, Neji packed both bottles in a bag. Hair was important.

Behind him, Hanabi asked, "Is that for you or your girlfriend?"

Neji seethed.

"She is not my girlfriend. She is my teammate. And the shampoo is for her."

"Whatever you say," Hanabi said, not looking very convinced. "But it's probably better that you're not going out. I don't want you heartbroken. You might dye your hair black in mourning."

Neji sneered at her. "What are you on about?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," Hanabi said, bending over a gown with gaudy orange polka dots. She nudged it away distastefully and glanced back at Neji. "He's the prize," she added with relish.

Neji dropped his shampoo bottles.

-x-

Shikamaru was in a bad mood.

This was rare. Shikamaru was generally a very laid-back person, hard to ruffle or get excited. But who could blame him for being so tense, he thought irritably, burying his hands in his pockets as he walked past the Yamanaka flower shop. Ino wasn't inside, but her mother was. She lifted a hand to wave as Shikamaru passed, then faltered when she noticed the anger radiating off him.

He was tired. His best friend was missing, kidnapped by a lady crazier than their Hokage. That same Hokage was forcing him to judge a beauty pageant, of all things, and Shikamaru really had no desire to do any such idiotic thing.

Plus – and he knew he wasn't just being paranoid anymore – he was still being followed!

With a sigh, Shikamaru rounded a corner, faced the sun, and flashed through a few seals as he walked. Then he rubbed the back of his sore neck – he hadn't slept right last night – and paused.

"Why are you following me?"

No answer. Shikamaru turned – and came face-to-back with a mop of red hair.

Shikamaru had to think for a moment. Then he relaxed, released the jutsu, and let Karin whirl to face him, cheeks flaming..

"I just—I—" She stopped, glanced around the nearly empty street, and pushed Shikamaru into the narrow alley between two buildings. He stumbled, caught off-guard, and cursed.

"What the hell are you doing, crazy woman," he grumped.

"You're judging the Miss Konoha pageant," Karin said in a low voice.

"No kidding," he began to say, then stopped.

Stared at her.

Karin was bright red, even in the darkness of the alley, but she remained facing him, in her short black dress. Her glasses were gone. Her hair was swept up, leaving her neck and shoulders bare. As Shikamaru gaped, Karin took a deep breath, stepped forward – and smiled.

"Shikamaru…" she breathed sensually as she approached. "I want…"

In response, Shikamaru flattened himself back against the wall, as far from her as he could get. "You want what?" he asked, glancing around frantically for an escape route.

There was none, and in the next second, Karin was pressed up against him. Her blush was gone, her eyes half-lidded as she stared up at him. Shikamaru swallowed.

"I want," she repeated, lips fluttering against his jaw. Unconsciously, Shikamaru felt himself leaning into her touch. "I want… to win."

Shikamaru stiffened, then pulled back. "Win what?" he asked with growing dread.

She blinked up at him, looking dazed. "The Miss Konoha pageant, of course," she said, as if he were the worst kind of idiot. Then she leaned in again, hooking one finger in his collar.

Shikamaru shuddered and nudged her away.

"To win Sasuke, right?" he said flatly. He didn't wait for her to respond and instead gestured between them. "You don't think this is kind of a dirty way to go about it?"

She burned red. "Well, of course I do," she snapped. "But what choice do I have?"

Shikamaru ran a hand over his face. Karin went on, pacing about the small alleyway.

"I mean, I used to be an enemy! It doesn't matter that I'm a citizen of Konoha now, everyone still hates me! Juugo and Suigetsu, you all love, but me? Nooooo. What the hell. Why do you people hate me? You guys suck. I hate you too!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Karin continued to vent.

"But I have to enter this pageant, and I have to win," she exclaimed, eyes bright with determination. She turned back to Shikamaru, hands on her hips. "I can't let Sasuke go to one of them. Especially that teammate of his…"

Shikamaru wondered, idly, what Sakura would say if she could hear Karin now. Or what she might do if she found out what she had tried to do to win. Then he decided he really didn't want to know.

"Right," Shikamaru said, pushing off the wall. "Well… good luck in the pageant."

Karin stared at him, completely baffled, as he walked away from her. She tried to make a grab for him at the last moment, but he slipped out of her reach.

"I'm not biased," he assured her. "Just don't… touch me anymore."

Then he walked away.

He couldn't believe he had almost succumbed to Karin's seductions. He felt so violated.

He couldn't wait until this stupid pageant was over.

-x-

"Ow! Ow, Ino! What the hell! I'm saying 'ow'!" Sakura yelped, batting Ino's hands away from her hair.

"I heard you," Ino said, stepping back and tossing the brush onto Naruto's bed. She wrinkled her nose. "God, this sucks. When do you move back to your own apartment?"

"Possibly never, if it bugs you so much," Sakura said, rubbing her scalp miserably. "God, can't you be more gentle?"

"Where does being gentle get you?" Ino asked. "The pageant's in six days, Sakura, and we don't even have you beautified yet!" When Sakura scowled at her, looking hurt, Ino added hastily, "Not that you aren't beautiful. You are. We just need to… shine you up a bit."

"…"

"Do it for Sasuke!"

Sakura sighed. "Okay. Fine. But can I eat first? I'm starved." She didn't wait for an answer – she knew Ino wouldn't give her the one she wanted to hear – before she was out of her seat and through the door.

Ino rolled her eyes, huffed dramatically, and flounced after her.

Sasuke, Naruto, Sai, Kakashi, and Yamato – for some bizarre reason – were all gathered in the kitchen, eating ramen. Naruto was passing Sakura a big bowl of it when Ino entered the kitchen.

She sneered at them. "Don't you have to train or something?"

"When one member of the team has to suffer, we all do," Kakashi said.

"We love each other," Sakura added. Sasuke looked disgusted.

"Lazy," Ino muttered under her breath. "Five minutes," she added, more loudly, to Sakura. She ignored her.

Ino turned and walked out of the room, and to the windows along the opposite wall. The sunlight was streaming in, and the sky was clear and blue. It was a nice day. Maybe Ino would take Sakura outside to get a light tan. She was pasty from so many hours spent in the hospital.

Outside the window, people were going about their regular business. Working, walking, spending time with friends. There were the Academy students eating lunch. There was a Jounin heading to the Hokage's office. There were Lee and Tenten running laps—

Ino blinked, then opened the window. Tenten was a contestant too, if she remembered correctly.

"Hey! Tenten!" she hollered.

Both Tenten and Lee turned at the sound of her voice. They waved, and Ino beckoned them over. She could hear Kakashi coming up behind her. Ino ignored him in favor of the visitors at the window now. She leaned further out to smile widely at them.

"Hey," she said, "What are you guys doing?"

"Visiting hell," Tenten said cheerfully.

"Running laps!" Lee corrected with a stern look at his teammate. "In preparation for the Miss Konoha beauty pageant, which Tenten will be partaking in! She's put on a tad bit of weight, nothing to be ashamed of, of course," he added quickly when Tenten glared at him. "In the prime of your youth, measly pounds are of no consequence, Tenten!"

"He's right, Tenten," Ino said. "And honestly, you could use the weight. You're a stick. I hate you."

Tenten wasn't fooled. "Thanks," she said flatly. "But it wasn't my idea; Gai-sensei made me do it. And speaking of Gai-sensei…" Tenten's gaze shifted, and Ino turned to see Kakashi nod, looking resigned. Clearly, he had been expecting this.

"Another challenge?" he said lightly. "This is one I'll accept. Tell him that."

Tenten nodded. Beside her, Lee looked nervous, fidgeting with his fingers before saying, "Is, ah, is Sakura-san competing?"

"She is," Ino said, fighting back a smile.

Lee glanced timidly at Tenten. She waved him off.

"Go ahead, I won't be offended."

Lee took a breath, then – with great effort, it seemed – shook his head once. "Tell Sakura-san I'm sorry," he said earnestly, "But I must put my teammate before her in this instance. I wish her all the best of luck, however."

"We will," Kakashi said as Ino stepped back from the window, already heading to the kitchen. She found Sakura there, already reaching for a second bowl.

"Sakura!" she snapped, and she dropped the bowl, startled.

"Ramen!" Naruto wailed.

"What the hell, Ino," Sakura grumbled, staring up at her. She caught sight of Ino's stern expression and wavered. "Ino?"

"Forehead," Ino said, "How do you expect to win the swimsuit competition if you can't even fit into your swimsuit? Up!"

Sakura was so startled that she stood without a thought. "What? What am I doing? What's going on?"

"Good idea, Ino," Kakashi said from the doorway, having just returned. Ino beamed at him.

"Sakura," she said, "We're going running! Or, well, you are. Time to drop a size or three!"

"What," Sakura said.

"And no more ramen!"

"What," Naruto said.

"You can have Sasuke's tomatoes!"

"What," Sasuke said.

Yamato stepped in before Team Seven could attack Ino.

"It's okay, Sakura. You can get your training in this way! I'll run with you, okay?"

"Yeah, you all should," Ino said. "You guys aren't going to make ANBU by lying around eating ramen all day."

"…"

Yamato sighed. Unleashed, Ino could start a small war. Where were her teammates when you needed them?

-x-

Shikamaru,

We know Anko has Chouji. We also know we can get him back. Your best friend, home safely, and within only 24 hours. All we ask is one small favor.

Our teammate is in the Miss Konoha pageant. Hinata. You know her, and you also know how shy she is, especially in front of large crowds. We got Kurenai-sensei to sign her up for this because, let's face it, Hinata needs a boost to her self-esteem.

We're not even telling you to make her win. Unlike Anko, Hinata is more than capable of winning on her own. All we ask is that you go a bit easy on her. And that you don't give in to Anko.

We got your back, man.

KIBA & Shino
(not & like… we're together, or anything. Okay? Okay.)

P.S. Sorry Kiba's stupid. – Shino

You know, even I'm not sure when Sakura and Shikamaru will actually get to interact.

Next chapter: Operation: Rescue Chouji, Neji puts his ninja skills to use, and Sasuke eats ice cream.

…It'll make sense.