Uncertain

"That's not the most glamorous job." Punk admitted, coming home late with Dean after his first day on the job. It helped out with keeping his probation officer sweet. Finding a job really gave him stability. It gave him money and a clean start. Something he hoped would impress AJ in any way shape or form.

"Yeah, but it's fun, right?" Dean nodded.

"Yeah, it was… it was good to be out in the fresh air and busy." Punk said, "Sure beats prison." He nodded, sitting down at the kitchen table as Dean nodded.

"Yeah, how was that?" Dean asked, "I know I visited you and you said you were sweet but-"

"It was what it was." Punk nodded, "It was scary, eye-opening, lonely." Punk said.

"Enough to scare you from doing anything stupid again?" Dean wondered.

"For sure." Punk nodded, "I was really holding out for a visit from April. I thought she'd come." Punk said.

"Did you really?" Dean asked as Punk nodded.

"Well I…. I guess I just held onto the hope that she would." Punk said, "I wish I could just take it all back." He sighed.

"Well you can't." Dean said, grabbing a beer from the fridge and popping it open, "No point in thinking like that." He said, sitting down at the table with him.

"What if she never forgives me? What if this is it? Over?" Punk asked, "And I never get to see my kid?" He shook his head as Dean sighed.

"Look, I can't tell you what she's thinking. I can guess because I… I know the girl. I've known her since we were sixteen. She doesn't trust anyone like she trusted you." Dean nodded as Punk looked at her, "You know the whole story with her family. How messed up they are. She's never trusted anyone in her entire life until she met you and then…"

"Then I ruin it and I hurt her." Punk nodded.

"Yeah." Dean nodded, "She probably feels like her back is up against the wall." He said, "She's taking care of a baby and she's only twenty. She's got no job and she's living in a scary apartment block on her own." He said, "She's in full protective mode, of herself and of the kid." He said as Punk nodded.

"So you think she could never trust me again?" Punk asked.

"You slept with someone else. In your bed you had with her. That's… that's horrible." Dean nodded. He was always honest with his brother. They had a very honest relationship.

"We had broken up. We had a fight and she said she didn't want to be around me anymore. That she wanted to break up. I was upset-"

"Ok, all of that, everything you're saying… she doesn't care about that." Dean nodded, "All she knows is, things got tough and instead of wanting to work it out, wanting to better yourself, fix things… you ran and you got in someone else's pants. That's where her mind went." Dean said as Punk nodded.

"Yeah, fair enough." Punk said, "I never wanted to hurt her, though."

"I know you didn't, buddy. I know you love her, and I know she's your one. She has been since you met her when she was the new kid in school. But now she's the mother of your kid and you're the guy who foolishly risked a life with them for Rio." Dean said.

"I needed the money and one thing lead to another. She knows that. She introduced me to him so that I could get money." Punk shook his head.

"I know and she's wrong for that. And she knows she is. Those were dumb high school shit that you two got involved in, thought you were some sort of Bonnie and Clyde. She got out of it, you stayed. That's where the problems happened." Dean said, "You chose to stay."

"I know I did. Don't tell me everything I know happened." Punk scoffed, "She was fine with it."

"No she wasn't. Maybe at first she tried to be ok with it but then she… she realised that she was turning into her parents, and so did you." Dean said, "She tried to get you away from it and you didn't. That's what you have to be sorry for. Because when everyone turned their back on you, she was still there, fighting for you, trying to help you." He said, "That's what you threw away."

"I know." Punk said, "I know and it sucks." He said, "Knowing I wasn't there for her whilst she was pregnant. I couldn't see my daughter being born. I don't even know what she looks like." He rolled his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Yeah, I thinks he gave birth alone." Dean said as Punk sighed, "But hey, I was on her ass the entire time. I wanted to help her. I mean… it's my niece. I wanted to be there for her, for whatever she needed… she wouldn't let me." Dean shrugged.

"Well thanks for trying." Punk nodded.

"I know that this sucks." Dean said.

"I brought it on myself." He said, "You're right. Dumb high school shit turned serious and I… I couldn't get my head out of my ass to realise it. I was just… I had fun with Rio. It sounds horrible but I did."

"So did I. He's not a bad guy. That's the issue." Dean said, "But he does bad stuff, and he gets people involved and that's how people like you end up in prison for a year." He said, "Plus it's not so much Rio you gotta look out for it's… it's who he associates with." He said as Punk nodded.

"I just miss her." Punk shook his head, "I miss her more than anything in the world. And I hate not being able to do anything to make it right." He said.

"It's gonna take time." Dean said, "Trust me, if you just keep your head down, keep out of trouble and keep down a job… she might be more approachable, she might realise you're taking this shit seriously now." He said as Punk nodded, listening as there was a knock at the door.

"You get it." Punk told him as Dean nodded, getting up from the table and heading down the apartment to answer the door, opening it up and groaning to himself.

"What?" Dean groaned, "We don't got money for you."

"I'm here to see my son. The other one." A blonde haired woman hissed, staggering in the door as Dean rolled his eyes, "Phillip, sweetheart." She opened up her arms, stumbling into the kitchen as Punk looked up at his very drunk and possibly high mother.

"Nope." Punk shook his head.

"Oh, come on." Their mother, Sam, said, wrapping her arms around him from behind as Punk shook his head.

"You stink." Punk said as Sam laughed, "If you're here for money, you aren't getting it." Punk told her as Sam scoffed.

"Do you think that's all I ever want from you boys?" Sam questioned.

"Yes, it is always what you want." Dean said, "So leave."

"How was prison?" Sam sighed, "Did they hurt you in there? What did they do to you?" She cupped Punk's cheeks as Punk stood up from the chair and backed away.

"Just get out." Punk made clear, "I seriously don't know the last time I saw you sober. I really don't." Punk said truthfully as Sam looked at them both, stumbling back a little.

"I… I just need a twenty." Sam nodded, "Please." She placed her hands on the table to balance herself as Punk turned to Dean who shook his head.

"Go find it somewhere else." Dean said as Sam looked at them both.

They both didn't know their mother in any other form. She had always been drunk or high on drugs or sleeping around, even when they were just little kids. They raised themselves and eventually each other. She really had no influence on them. She never took care of them. If anything, they took care of her.

"I owe it to someone." Sam said.

"No… no, bullshit!" Dean yelled, "You say that to me all the time and I know you just go spend it on a bag of cocaine or booze. You're not getting shit from us. Alright?" Dean spat, "Get the hell out."

"Phil." Sam turned to Punk desperately as Punk shook his head. It wasn't being cold. They'd lived with their mothers lies, her stealing, her habits all their life. At times they had been homeless because of her drug habits, or even worse, living with other people, other men. They didn't owe her anything.

"Go." Punk advised as Sam stumbled back, hitting herself against the door and nodding, stumbling away out of the kitchen and leaving the apartment as Dean shook his head, "You know… things really haven't changed since I went to prison. When I left mom was a drunk and AJ hated me… I'm back and same thing applies."

"Yeah well mom's always been a drunk and she always will be." Dean shook his head as Punk nodded.

"She been harassing you?" Punk asked.

"Off and on." Dean nodded, "I just send her packing every time. We don't gotta put up with that anymore." He said as Punk nodded.

"Does she know about April and the baby?" Punk wondered.

"No, well… I never told her so I don't see how she could." Dean said, "Not like she would care." He said as Punk nodded, "I'm gonna turn in for the night." He said as Punk nodded.

"Yeah, I'm gonna grab some food and then crash." Punk said as Dean nodded, leaving the kitchen as Punk sat down at the table.

"Stupid water." AJ shook her head, trying to run the taps in the kitchen sink. She'd lost count of the amount of water troubles she'd had in the apartment. From the shower, to the taps, to the toilet. The system was shocking.

She left the apartment, running across to Kurt's and knocking on the door as he came immediately, "You ok?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah." AJ nodded, "Well, my water is off again. Is yours?" AJ asked.

"No, I've been good." Kurt said, "You want me to take a look?" He asked as AJ nodded.

"Yeah, I just… I have a sink full of dishes that need done." AJ said as Kurt smiled and nodded, walking over into the apartment with her, "Just gotta be quiet. I just got Thea down." She said as Kurt nodded, quietly making his way into the kitchen with her.

"Might just be a blockage." Kurt nodded, opening up the cupboard under the sink and taking a look as AJ folded her arms and watched.

"I gotta take a crash course in plumbing." AJ laughed a little as Kurt smiled.

"Well technically the handy man around here should fix this but… well, hes never here." Kurt nodded, "Joys of living in a run down apartment block"

"Yeah." AJ figured.

The apartment wasn't ideal. It was small, at times damp with so many problems within it. Of course she was thankful that she had somewhere to live, especially with Thea. She remembered when they first got the apartment, straight out of high school. It really felt like a home then. Now it was just somewhere she lived.

"So… how are things with that ex of yours?" Kurt asked, "I know you said you didn't wanna talk about it but I got a feeling maybe you do."

"I really don't." AJ said truthfully as Kurt nodded, staying silent and waiting as he knew AJ would say something about it, "I just can't trust him, you know?" AJ sighed as Kurt looked up.

"Do you still love him?" Kurt asked as AJ nodded, "And what do you want for Thea? Do you want her to know him?"

"I thought I didn't but… I don't know. I don't know what I want." AJ said, "He hurt me. He was all I had and he hurt me. I tried to help him get out of everything but… he didn't to. He pushed me away and then he went to prison-"

"How long have you known him?" Kurt asked.

"Since I was sixteen." AJ nodded, "We had… similar backgrounds. We never went home, ever. We always found parties and just crashed at people's houses. Got into a lot of trouble sometimes." She nodded.

"You? In trouble?" Kurt shook his head.

"Yeah, believe it or not." AJ nodded, "But he took it to the extreme. And now here I am, with his baby, literally… trapped in this place." She shook her head, sitting down at the table, "I swear sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating." She shook her head, "I'm just… I'm turning into my mom. I am her. Had a baby at nineteen. I have no money. No family or friends." AJ said, "No job. And I can't get a job because I have no one around to look after Thea." She said as Kurt sighed, looking over at her, watching her placed her hand over her forehead.

"You're still young, honey." Kurt nodded, "I know that seems like such a horrible piece of advice… it's not really advice. But… you got time. You're brave and you're strong. I think you're an amazing mom. That boy was stupid to risk losing you and that little girl."

"I just… I don't know what to do. I hate him. I hate him for what he did. And I don't trust him."

"Then he shouldn't be in your life." Kurt nodded as AJ looked at him, "If you don't got trust, you don't got anything."

"Yeah… yeah, you're right." AJ nodded as Kurt went back under the sink, trying to fix the blockage whilst AJ looked over at the fridge, staring at the pictures of her and who she thought was the only person she could trust in the entire world. Her everything. She just couldn't let him back in her life. Not when she could remember the pain of losing him, of being hurt by him. It scared her too much.