10 ways to annoy Nealan of Queenscove
disclaimer:
me: (carefully checks around for kel) Yay!!!!! a whole new chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kel: (steps out from behind a rock) figured that you would write a new one sooner or later! what is this one about?
me: (glances around for an exit... sees a fence leading to an empty paddock) this one is about Neal.
kel: Neal! you are a bully! i hate bullies. do you know what i do with them!? (takes a menacing step foreward)
me: (starts edging towards fence) actually i think i got a pretty good idea during reading your series of books (which by the way i do not own)
kel: you have until 5 to hand over that sheet of paper!!! 1.....2......
me : (jumpes over fence) you'll never get it!!!!!!!!!!!! (stupidly trips over a cow pat)
kel: and.....5!!!! (grabs poor so perfect it hurts and drags back over fence)
me: (i forgot she could run faster then me....) sigh.... gasp.... gurgle.
on with the annoyance of Neal!!!!!!!!!!!!
10.) accidentally let it slip his daughter will be trying for knight hood
9.) remember the speech about kels hotness? Now would be a good time to dig up those palm cards again….
8.) After completing the speech inform him for many months as a page kel had a HUGE chrush on him and he just ignored her and made her sit through stupid love poems and songs for many years. Watch his expression change and the blood drain from his face. Bring popcorn.
7.) Start him on an endless debate. Continuously interrupt him in the middle of a sentence with pointless questions that have no answer for example " neal could you please halp me with this maths problem? (don't wait for an answer) if a person got locked in a food cupboard for one hourhow much food did they eat? Watch his ace get redder and redder as he can't answer any of them. Leave before he throws something.
6.) While he is alone in the stables softly call his name. do this often, but not often enough he can figure ou where it comes from. Do this over the course of a few weeks until he is convinced there is a ghost in the stables haunting him and refuses to go into the stables. Watch lord Wyldon hand out punishment. Bring chocolate to go with your popcorn
5.) Bribe irnai the seer child to constantly follow him around shouting out embarrassing thing that will happen in his future. Laugh.
4.) Reaveal to him that you are infact the ghost of the stables.
It is advised after number 6 that you bring protection from death magic. Especially if neal screams "ill give you ghost of the stables!" and starts trying to kill you
3.) Put green hair dye in his shampoo. Tell him the colour suits him. When he insults you inform him in a haughty voice that insults are the last resort for people with no vocabulary.
2.) continuously call him "meat head" add that the meat is american cafeteria meat loaf.
1.) inform him that yuki stands for: yellow, ugly, kissing, insect