Fitz drove from his house to Marisol's. Lately he hasn't been doing much. Either he's at work, or at the Ravine relaxing. Clare hasn't talked to him much since last week, but he wasn't going to be a clingy guy so he shrugged it off. When he pulled up to Mari's, an image of her hurt and broken flashed before his eyes. He shook his head, and walked inside. "Mari, your second favorite man in the world is here." he smirked.
"Second favorite? You're my first." Marisol said, grinning. She hugged Fitz. He hadn't seen her since she'd been out of the hospital, and she still looked pretty gruesome. She led him into the kitchen, since Paddy was sleeping on the couch. "Do you need anything? A drink? Food?" she asked, rifling through the fridge. His eyebrows raised, as he followed her into the kitchen.
"First favorite? I outrank Cook now..." Fitz shook his head with a teasing look in his eye. "I like that idea. Um, a coke?" He asked. She tossed him one, and then he opened it. "You're looking better Mar. I mean it." he said softly looking in her eyes.
"I'd say that Cook is only slightly under you." She said, sitting down across the table from him. "And thank you. I'm feeling better too." She wondered what kind of person she looked like in his eyes, for a moment. Was it a pathetic one? A sad one? The only people she'd been around recently were too kind to tell her if she was a mess or not. "Did you hear that Jace was back?" She said without any emotion. An angry look entered Fitz's eyes at Jace's name.
"I heard. He was talking to Bianca... I wasn't too happy. If he goes near either of you, he won't be coming back.. again." Fitz meant that, he was tired of this kid. After he hurt Mari, and started talking to Bee, Fitz was even more pissed off. His hands clenched into fists, thinking about Jace. He relaxed as he felt Mari touch his hand, his look softened. "Sorry about that."
"It's okay. I don't like him talking to Bianca either. Or Ashleigh, or Julietta. This entire situation is a mess. I hate it." Marisol said, squeezing his hand as she laid her head down on the table. She was still a wreck. She tried not to let it show, but she was. She tried to be strong, but she wasn't. And oddly enough, it was fooling everybody. Except Fitz. He frowned a little. "Me too Mar. He doesn't know about you, does he?" Fitz quietly asked. She looked exhausted, but not sleepy. Mental exhaustion. He took another sip from his drink, before standing up and walking over to her seat. Grabbing her hand, he pulled her up gently and held her. "You don't have to be strong in front of me Mari." he whispered in her ear.
"He doesn't know. He asked, but he doesn't know." Marisol said, looking up at him. She didn't know what to do anymore. Cook didn't know, and it seemed as if all of her friends were against her with what she was choosing. It was really hard to wrap her mind around, the fact that she had a little person inside of her. Fitz came to her and held her. "I can't help it. I'm in defense mode all the time. I have to be."
"What I told you still stands Mar…about the baby." he said quietly lifting her chin up to look at him. "Loosen up that defense mode. You can be vulnerable with me… I am with you." His last words trailed off quietly as their brown eyes gazed at each other. Marisol nodded.
"I've been raised that way sense I was six. There was never a time when I was allowed to be vulnerable. I can't bring down this huge-ass wall. It's not possible for me. I'm scared every day of my life, and now, even more so." She explained. She was a miserable human being.
He nodded understandingly. "I know… Maybe little by little, that wall will come down for me." Fitz gave her a tiny half grin. He pulled away, looking at her. His fingers ran through his hair, as he breathed out. Being that close was just... He didn't exactly know.
"I hope so. I don't like being like this all the time." She said, grinning a bit herself as he did. She had missed being that close to someone. That friendship. Only, in some way, it felt like more than that. It was an odd feeling. It wasn't one she recognized, but it wasn't unpleasant.
He smiled glancing sideways at her as he walked back over to his chair. Fitz grabbed his Coke and finished it. Absentmindedly biting his lip, he put his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall. "What do you want to do now Mari?"
"Anything. I really don't mind. As long as other people don't have to see me." She said. She'd been getting a lot of stares when she was in public, which was understandable, considering. "And of course, we have to stay here, since Paddy's here. He's too young to look after himself." He nodded. "Wanna watch some TV then?" Fitz didn't wait for an answer, as he turned out of the kitchen. He pretty much had a lay of the house from when Jace was there. She followed him, and for some odd reason that made him happy.
"I just really want to watch Mean Girls, okay?" She exclaimed, wanting to change the subject desperately. Fitz started for the living room. "Oh, not in there. Paddy, remember?" Marisol said. She led Fitz down the hall to her room. It was oddly right, tugging him along.
Fitz was nervous as she grabbed his hand leading him to her room. Them, a movie, and her room? It was nothing. He tried shaking it out of his mind. They entered her room. It was different from Clare's, more preppy. It made him smirk a little. "Mean girls?" His raised his eyebrows.
"You can't tell me that you've never seen that movie. No matter who you are, you're going to laugh at something in it." Marisol said, popping it into the DVD player. She went over to the bed and hopped on, patting the space next to her. Fitz looked hesitant. "What? Afraid of my purple comforter?" she laughed. He shook his head as he sat next to her. "Never seen it. And hell no… purple isn't scary." Fitz laughed glancing at her. Even though she was covered in bruises, she was still very pretty. He leaned back onto the bed, folding his arms behind his head. "You owe me. I'm watching a chickflick with you."
"Oh whatever, Mean Girls is not a chick flick. I know completely straight men who have quoted this movie." Marisol said, resting her head on his arm. She was so glad she didn't feel the constant pressure around him. When she was with Cook, she always felt like she could say one wrong thing, and then he'd be gone, but with Fitz, it was somehow different.
He bit his lip as she leaned on him. He felt a rush, and he didn't understand. Fitz leaned into her touch, smiling to himself. "If you say so, Mari... I'll try to enjoy the torture, but you still owe me." he laughed teasingly poked her side lightly.
"Oh, how will I ever repay you for watching a movie with me?" She said teasingly, batting her eyelashes at him. She laughed and turned her head back to the screen. His breathing was a bit off, which was weird. She made him nervous. Why was he feeling like this?
"Figure it out, Lewis." Fitz smirked lightly watching the movie. "This isn't so bad... It's kinda funny." he said laughing at a joke the characters just said. He let his arm slide down around her, not bothering to try to cover his move.
"I told you that it was!" Damien had just explained why Gretchen Weiners' hair was so big when Fitz put an arm around her. "Fitzgerald! What are you doing?" Marisol said, shocked. She found it funny that he was putting the moves on her. Sweet, but still funny. He had a girlfriend, and she had a boyfriend. He had respect for her boyfriend. What was happening? Rolling his eyes, he looked at her.
"What's it look like? I'm putting my arm around you." Fitz didn't think it was that big of a deal. It was like a side hug that went on forever. His eyebrows raised at the look she was giving him so he pulled his arm back turning his attention back to the TV.
Suddenly, she wanted that arm back around her. It felt almost like rejection, him taking it back. She looked at the TV feeling slightly hurt, although she had no right to be. It was ridiculous that she was. She hesitated for a moment, and then lifted his arm back around her.
He smirked at her. "Whoa. Marisol Lewis, what do you think you're doing?" Fitz laughing as his hand rested comfortably on her. He wasn't going to show it, but he was really happy she moved his arm back.
"Oh, shut up!" Marisol exclaimed, slapping his side. She laughed, and for the first time in a while it felt like a real one. Not even Cook had been able to truly make her laugh since before the… incident. She was happy. For the moment at least.
"Ouch!" he said pretending to be hurt. His fingers gently slid across her waist in a playful manner. Fitz looked down at her with his brown eyes, watching her as she laughed at the movie. He could tell it was a real laugh, and that relaxed him.
Why does this feel right? Why am I getting chills? Marisol asked herself. Her every nerve ending was a live wire from one simple touch. Even Cook had never accomplished that. Just that one hand on her waist. She couldn't comprehend this odd magnetism she felt towards him, but she would never let it show.
Fitz turned his attention back to the movie. The girls were doing the Santa skit, and he smirked shaking his head. "You could do that..." he smiled avoiding her eyes teasingly.
"Ugh, don't be ridiculous. I would never wear that much pleather." Marisol explained, gesturing to the costumes. "Besides, it's no where near Christmas." She looked up at Fitz. He was grinning from ear to ear. "You're insane. You know that?" Lightly he tickled her side with one hand. Leaning closer, Fitz smirked. "But you like me that way." His eyes twinkled a little, as he looked down at her.
"You're right. Only a lunatic would come to protect me from a lunatic." Marisol said. She squirmed as he tickled her. "Stop!" she giggled. "Quit it!"
Yeah crazy for you. Fitz thought to himself. He smiled as he rested his hand gently on her hip again. "Geez, someone's ticklish." he laughed as his head turned to the TV again. Fitz was grinning to himself.
"Leave me alone! Most girls are ticklish." Marisol said, mocking defense. She liked having him there. She shouldn't but she did. No one could ever find out. Ever. It would kill Cook if he knew she could have feelings for someone else, even if she was still a bit confused as to exactly what they were.
Smiling he shook his head. "I like that you are." Fitz laughed at something they said on the movie. He liked how close she was, but he didn't know exactly what to feel about this. He loved Clare, even if things with them were sort of rough right now.
"I can't stand being ticklish. It is my only weakness." She explained. They were coming close to the end of the movie. She chuckled at how many people had been victimized by Regina George. It was so strange for her to feel this comfortable with someone again. It hadn't been like this with Cook. But why am I comparing the two relationships? We're just friends. She thought to herself, furrowing her brow.
Fitz saw her face scrunch up, so he pulled away a little just to get a better look at her. "Is everything okay?" he asked softly holding her waist tightly.
"Um, yeah. Everything's fine. I just- I need a minute." Marisol said, getting up and walking quickly to the bathroom. She walked over to the sink and splashed some cold water on her face. She stared down the drain. "What are you thinking?" she said to herself, out loud. "You have a good thing going! Don't fuck it up with feelings!" She scolded quietly.
Fitz sat up and put his feet on the ground. He needed to get whatever was going on in his head straight. He lifted his head staring out the window. "Shake it off man. It's just Mari." he mumbled out loud. "Stop thinking the way you are."
Marisol exhaled through her mouth, and walked back out into her room. "Sorry, had to use the bathroom." She said, covering. She forced herself to sit considerably less close to Fitz on the bed. Not that she didn't want to be right back were she was before, but it just wouldn't be right. Fitz swallowed the lump in his throat. Standing up, he saw the movie came to its end. Looking at her, Fitz said softly, "Maybe.. I should go." He hated to do this to her, to push her away. Marisol didn't want him to leave, even though it was probably for the best.
"Oh, you don't… have to. Unless you have something to do, obviously you should go in that case, but otherwise you can stay if you want, and I'm rambling again! Damn it!" Turning to her, his crooked smile showed a little. "I don't have anything to do.." Fitz mumbled.
"Then stay. And please, keep me from rambling. It's embarrassing." Marisol said, grabbing his hand. Fitz looked down at their hands.
"I can't keep you from rambling." he said. Well he could, but he couldn't do that.
"I only start rambling when I'm nervous. That's my tell." Marisol said, letting go of his hands and wiping hers on the legs of her pants.
"Why are you nervous Mari?" he asked curiously.
"Um… I'm not comfortable with disclosing this information." Marisol said curtly.
Rolling his eyes, he stepped close to her. "Why not?"Marisol hesitated. "Fitz, this isn't funny."He casually rubbed his lip. "Fine.." Fitz stepped back, still curious to why she was acting like this. Marisol was freaking out on the inside. Why was he playing with her like that? "Damn it!" She said, and sat down at the foot of her bed. Fitz was done being in the dark.
"What the fuck is going on?" he said getting a little pissy. Not at her, just in general.
"I don't even know! Don't get angry with me." She said, looking back up at him. She couldn't tell what was going through his brain. He sat down next to her.
"I'm not angry with you. I just don't get what you're hiding from me."
"And like it's not the exact same way for you?" She said, turning toward him. "I don't understand all these signals your sending me!"
Backing off he gazed at her. "Like you aren't sending any back!" He stood up, his mouth open, just plain surprised. "Okay. I like you a lot more than I planned to. Happy?"She hadn't actually expected him to say it. She just sat there, mouth half open in shock. What could she say? There wasn't a good way to put what she was feeling. He stared at her as she sat there speechless. "I'm sorry." Fitz muttered, leaving the room and going down the steps. He couldn't stay. If he did, and it turned out well… he knew they'd both cheat on who they were with. If it didn't go well, it would just be awkward.
Marisol didn't have any choice but to let him walk away. In the end, it would be better for both of them, at least until they were both out of their relationships. Not that Marisol wanted to be out of hers, because she loved Cook with all of her heart, but… she couldn't shake this feeling.