Part 2: Cue the Tumbleweed

Belatedly, Yuusuke realized that he was, in essence, filling the Bad Guy role this time around. And, as such, should not have stopped to gloat.

Okay, Yuusuke. As far as Stupid Things You've Done go, this is probably somewhere near the top of the list.

He faced off against Kaka-whatever, the pink-haired girl and the dark one who made him think, strangely, of Hiei. The extra versions of Orange-Pants vanished in puffs of smoke as the original tensed in his arms.

During their moment of hesitation, Yuusuke made a swift assessment of their danger levels.

Silver haired tall guy: on a scale of 1 to 10, Yuusuke placed him somewhere around upper 7 or 8. Probably not able to melt Yuusuke's mind where he stood, but still not someone Yuusuke could take lightly.

Pink haired girl: Yuusuke wasn't sure. He was a bad judge of women fighters, since his only experience was on either ends of the extreme between passive civilian and I'll-kick-the-shit-out-of-you-without-breaking-a-sweat badass. But she'd moved well in the exercise he'd just witnessed. She was fast and thought on her feet. Still, he wasn't overly impressed.

Black haired boy who still reminded him of Hiei (maybe it was the "I'll kill you" glare?): Somewhere between the girl and the teacher. He had the look of someone with a great deal of raw talent that hadn't been shaped yet. Dangerous, but not overly so if Yuusuke was careful.

Of course, "careful" was not really Yuusuke's style.

"Hey there," he greeted with a fierce grin. They weren't attacking him, yet. Good, good. He could fuck with them a little before he ran like hell.

The demon was uncurling, stretching under Yuusuke's skin and behind his eyes. He blinked when he realized it. It was responding to…what?

Don't get lost in the roll, Yuusuke. You're not actually evil.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to borrow Orange-Pants here for a bit." He tried to soften his grin into something more reassuring. By the way the silver-haired guy narrowed his visible eye and the almost-Hiei pulled a knife-looking thing from a sheath on his thigh, Yuusuke guessed he wasn't very successful. How did Kurama do it? "Don't worry. I'll get him back to you in one piece."

And, well, most likely dead.

Yuusuke decided not to include that part, and gathered himself to make one of those impressive demon-powered leaps away from the scene. They'd give chase. The silver haired guy might be a challenge to escape, but Yuusuke was pretty sure he could manage it with a little effort.

That's when Orange-Pants bit him.

"OW!" Yuusuke loosened his hold without thinking. "You little shit!"

Instead of making a break for it, the kid rounded on him. "Don't call me a shit, you asshole!"

The kid tried to clock him, but Yuusuke caught his wrist and jerked him forward a little.

"Oh yeah?" No, Yuusuke. You're not going to get drawn into a bitching contest with a brat. You're not going to get drawn into a—are you even listening? "Well…you're stupid!"

Good one.

Surprisingly enough, though, the blond rose to the bait. "WHO'RE YOU CALLING STUPID?"

Wow. Orange-Pants had some lungs.

"I'm calling you stupid! Who the hell fucks up dying?" Besides me. "I mean, it's the fucking easiest thing to do, moron!"

"DON'T CALL ME A MORON!"

"I CALL IT LIKE I SEE IT!"

Since Yuusuke found himself mentally reverting to his early-teen years, he easily picked up the soft but annoyed little cough that interrupted the rhythm of his quarrelling. The "teacher cough" he used to call it. The "would you kids knock it off and pay attention to the lesson before I smack you with my ruler?" cough.

Despite the fact that he'd dropped out of junior high and hadn't been in a classroom in years, the reaction was instantaneous. His teeth clicked shut and he turned hostile, sullen eyes toward the sound.

The silver-haired guy had relaxed a bit out of his defensive stance, and was watching Yuusuke and Orange-Pants fighting with a look of bemused annoyance. The small dark-haired boy rolled his eyes. Even the girl had traded her "oh shit" expression for one that was closer to "…my god. They're both complete morons."

"Excuse me," the older man stepped forward, "but I think you have some explaining to do. Who are you? And what do you think you're doing?"

Yuusuke bristled on principle at the patronizing tone. "Urameshi Yuusuke," he declared. "Ruler of one third of the Makai."

"The Makai?" Orange-Pants echoed in a curious tone.

"The Makai," silver-hair drawled.

"Yeah."

"And that is…?"

This is where Yuusuke faltered. Though it wasn't a stated rule that no one was supposed to know about the Makai and Koenma's machinations, it still wasn't a good idea to go blabbing about it. Botan had stopped just short of literally beating that into him.

"It's…a…gang."

"A gang."

"Sure!" Yuusuke gave him a shit-eating grin.

"But why would the leader…one of three leaders of a gang be in Konoha Village?" the girl wondered out loud, frowning at him.

"And why are you here?" the Hiei-esque boy demanded. "Picking on Naruto, of all people?"

"What the hell's that supposed to mean, Sasuke?" Orange-Pants spat with automatic hostility.

"And what did you say earlier? About Naruto dying?" the girl questioned, eyes sharp.

"Eehh." Yuusuke slouched, trying to project tough but ultimately dismissible while keeping a firm grip on the blond's arm. "It was just a prank."

The way the silver-haired man's eye scrunched shut in a knife's-edge smile made Yuusuke want to take an instinctive step back.

"I see. I wonder if the patrol coming our way would say the same."

"Shit," Yuusuke muttered as three shapes blurred into the clearing, and then blinked when he recognized them. "You guys!"

The scarred leadman kept a hard, steady gaze on Yuusuke as he addressed silver-hair. "Kakashi-san, please take your students to a safe distance. We'll handle this."

Kakashi didn't move. He looked between Orange-Pants and Yuusuke as he spoke to the patrol leader. "I would like to know what's going on."

"We're not sure ourselves, Kakashi-san. Except that this one and his accomplice managed to breach our defenses and are causing havoc. We've caught the other one—"

"Hinageshi?" Yuusuke felt a stab of worry.

"—but so far she hasn't said anything. Still, Kakashi-san…" If possible, scarred-man grew grimmer. "We believe these people are dangerous. Please, step back and let us take this one into custody."

"Dangerous?" the blond scoffed, though he had yet to get his arm out of Yuusuke's grip for all his trying. "This asshole?"

Kakashi still didn't move. "Naruto's my student. I'm in charge of his safety."

"We're not leaving him," the girl agreed, drawing out her own knife-thing.

"He'd probably screw up and get himself killed," put in the dark-haired boy.

"YOU SHUT UP, SASUKE!"

"Fuck." Yuusuke was annoyed at how quickly this had all gotten out of hand. He reached out and tapped a finger against the blond's head, shooting enough reiki through his system to short circuit his consciousness. The boy folded into Yuusuke's arms. "Sorry," he gave the rest of them a tight smile. "Play time's over."

He let go of the tight hold he'd kept on his ki and it crackle over his skin like small sparks of electricity. This was mainly for show, but he knew it looked damn impressive. It also helped open his awareness, helped connect him with the land and his opponents. Stupid Zen shit, he'd called it. Genkai had put his ass in traction for that one.

Now, even with his eyes closed, he knew the trees were ten meters back. He knew that the three-party patrol were all an equidistant seven feet away. The woman's energy was blurring—some sort of an illusion?—in preparation to attack. The kids would move first, impetuous enough to ignore the danger.

Don't screw this up, Yuusuke.

Anticipation was a thrill of excitement that shot through him like a jolt of lightning. This was going to be one of those fast and furious and life-threatening fights that Yuusuke hadn't had in a while. Six competent fighters against one encumbered by the limp body of their comrade. This was going to be fun.

Yuusuke grinned.

Breathe. Watch them.

He could feel their power levels sparking against his. They weren't as impressive as A-class demons, but they still weren't something to scoff at.

Watch them. They're going to move.

Wait.

Wait.

NOW!

"ACK!"

- WHUMP! -

"OW!"

"Dammit!"

"What the hell is—Urameshi?"

Ah. So the person who had landed on his head, now smushing him into the ground as they clambered hastily to stand, had an identity.

"Kuwabara!" Yuusuke snarled, which really would've been more effective had his mouth not been full of dirt and moldy leaves. "GET OFF!"

Kakashi pulled his attack up short, nearly stumbling.

Oh…kay….?

As far as days went on the scale of strange, this one was climbing up in rank. Beside him, the patrol leader hesitated as well, and shot Kakashi a look, but the silver-haired Jounin didn't have answers for him.

A part of him still wanted to attack. Now, while The Enemy were distracted. They were perfect targets. But that was a separate, older self. And the louder part of him said wait. Wait and observe.

Three more people had appeared from, as far as he could tell, thin air—right into thin air. They had popped into existence about twelve feet off the ground. The largest had crashed headfirst into the dark-haired boy; the other two had twisted in mid-fall and landed lightly on their feet. They seemed to be the dark-haired boy's allies, which, regrettably, evened the scales a bit.

"This is your fault, isn't it, Urameshi?" the larger boy demanded, struggling to his feet.

"It is not!"

The swift move that simultaneously knocked orange-haired boy off his feet and to one side was executed with a deftness that made Kakashi twitch.

"Asshole!"

Kakashi blinked as the orange-haired boy was back on his feet in a flash and had tackled the smaller one. They fell into a scuffle that somehow avoided Naruto's unconscious form on the ground.

"Kuwabara! You jackass, knock it off!"

Two of them had names, now. The bulkier, orange-haired boy was Kuwabara. The original dark-haired antagonist was Urameshi.

They were loud, obnoxious children, Kakashi couldn't help thinking, despite the power Urameshi had displayed earlier, despite the fact that they both obviously knew how to hold their own in a fight, even if they were only play-brawling at the moment. It was difficult to see past their teenager-punk attitudes, even though he knew he should know better.

The other two…

Colorful, was the first thought that struck Kakashi when he looked at the slender redhead. He was bright green eyes and deep true-red hair. He was dressed in rich blues and greens, the clothing expensive but practical if one ignored a few dramatic flares. His mouth was curved into a half-smile as he watched the Urameshi and Kuwabara quarrel out of the corner of one eye. The rest of his attention was focused on the Leafs with an unwavering intensity.

Which made the shortest of the four a sort of anti-everyone else. He was not colorful, and he was not loud, and he didn't show any outward signs of strength or skill. He was small and his shape was hidden in a long black cloak. Kakashi noted that even his hands weren't visible, which was dangerous. There was no way to judge what kind of weapon he used—if he used a weapon. If he was a fighter at all. He looked young. Younger than Kakashi's Genin trio, which of course, meant nothing when it came to deadliness, but it still gave him pause.

Then the boy turned, and locked ruby red eyes with Kakashi. The Jounin almost flinched in surprise. Sharingan…?

Beside him, Sasuke let out a soft hiss of breath.

But no, Kakashi realized after a tense moment. Though the boy's glare was nearly a solid thing of contempt, there was no actual power behind his gaze.

The redhead said something softly, and the small cloaked one sneered, a brief drawing back of lips over teeth revealing—fangs?

The day, Kakashi thought to himself, was definitely getting stranger.

All they were missing was tumbleweed.

Yuusuke kept waiting for one to blow across the clearing as the groups stood eyeing each other in a tense stare-off. He'd finally managed to headlock Kuwabara into submission and reassess the situation, and it wasn't looking too great.

Hiei's telepathy was a touch of flame in his mind. {Do we kill them?}

"No," Kurama said quietly but forcefully, frowning at the fire demon. "No fatalities. They're human."

Hiei sneered.

"They're human. But they feel…off." That from Kuwabara, his voice still a bit hoarse from Yuusuke's strangle hold.

"Hinageshi said they're ninjas," Yuusuke put in.

Kuwabara balked. "Ninjas?"

"She didn't tell you?"

"We didn't know she was even here," Kurama told him.

"Then how did you get here?"

{The Brat.}

"And he didn't tell you?"

"Hell no!" Kuwabara snorted. "It was just—'Something's going on. I'm synchronizing you with Yuusuke's ki signature and sending you through. Don't screw up.'"

Yuusuke growled, "Typical."

Curious green eyes flicked toward Yuusuke before returning to their careful watch of the people surrounding them. "So what is going on?"

{Not the place to talk. Their backup's coming. And these few are becoming impatient. They will attack. If we don't intend to fight, then it's time to fly.}

Yuusuke stooped to gather Orange-Pants from the ground. The boy's head lolled, face pale and very young and the Reikai Tantei held him close, chest-to-chest, just to make sure he could still feel a heartbeat. He nearly dropped the kid again when the Yuusuke's demon blood—flexed a bit, a ripple of curiosity.

With a shake of his head, he pushed it back. "Think we can make it?"

Hiei gave him a look of such incredulousness that Yuusuke had to grin a little.

"Right. Sorry. Dumb question."

"Who's taking who?" Kuwabara asked.

Yuusuke glanced at the fire demon, and Hiei's telepathy immediately opened into a net, catching all their minds, and Yuusuke tread softly, unfolding the plan for them to see.

"Everybody got that?"

Three heads nodded.

"All right then. Break!"

As the Tantei fell into formation around him, leaving Yuusuke facing the silver-haired teacher, he couldn't help feeling as if some apology was in order. "Look," Yuusuke said, "I'm really sorry about this. REI—"

"That's enough!" The voice was sharp and paralyzing, cutting right through him and stopping him in his tracks. From the way everyone else flinched and then went still, he figured the effect was the same for Tantei and ninjas alike.

Yuusuke choked on his words, and the quick dispelling of his ki felt like an electric shock as he twisted to get a look at the newcomers who floated gracefully down from the sky.

There were twelve of them in all. Solemn, blank-faced women with hard eyes, dressed in dark blue traditional kimonos with deep red sashes. Each one held an ore in delicate hands, the wood a gleaming white. They weren't actually riding them, though. They were holding them as guards on duty held spears as they drifted down the to the earth feet first.

A group of three separated from the main group. The woman in the lead had silver streaks in her black hair. Directly behind her, a flicker of white and red cowered. And walking beside her was an old man with a silly-looking hat who smelled of mortality and aging but impressive power.

{Human leader.}

Hiei gave voice to what Yuusuke already suspected, even before the old man confirmed by making an abrupt hand gesture as he said, "Leafs, stand down," with a voice of authority.

The woman in the lead, whose kimono was adorned with the kanji for "head" over her left breast in silvery threads, locked eyes with Yuusuke as she spoke, "That's enough, Tantei."

Yuusuke eased back, out of his fighting stance, but still very much on edge. The response was mirrored by everyone in the clearing. Something was going on, and neither side was very pleased.

"Ho-Hokage-sama!" The pink-haired girl stepped forward with a determined expression. "Those people…" Yuusuke blinked when she pointed accusingly at him, though her eyes were still on the old man. "They want something, they've done something to Naruto!"

"I know, Sakura-kun," he said, and though his eyes had softened a bit when they looked at her, his voice remained hard. "This…situation is very troublesome, but I'm sure we'll sort it out."

The old man was Not Happy. But that was fine, because Yuusuke wasn't thrilled himself. He put Orange-Pants down and then straightened. Long, belligerent strides took him well into the Head's personal space. A small frown marred her smooth, milk-white features as she looked at him with black, empty eyes.

"What the hell are you people doing here?" Yuusuke demanded, up close and personal, where she couldn't ignore his question without looking like an idiot.

"This…situation," she said with the same distaste and hesitation as the old man, "has deteriorated enough that we are forced to interfere."

"Deteriorated? They just got here!" He gestured to his team.

"It was past saving as soon as she became involved."

The Head stepped aside to reveal Hinageshi, who was curled away from them a little, head down, trying to look as small as possible.

The Head continued, and Hinageshi flinched at almost every word. "Most useless, idiotic, weakling brat to ever attempt the name of—"

"Hey!" Yuusuke cut her off, nearly snarling. "Like you never made a mistake."

"Actually," the woman said with an arrogant tilt to her head, "I never have."

Yuusuke barely resisted the urge to smack the crap out of her, and might have said something very impolite had the woman beside the Head not spoken.

The kanji over her breast was "voice."

"Stand away from Uzumaki Naruto."

In spite of anger and reluctance and confusion, the people in the clearing did as they were told.

"Now," the Head declared as she stepped past them through the opening provided, "we will end this."

"What exactly are you going to do?" Kakashi demanded, the abrupt and cold tone cutting through the silence. The Voice had pinned him and he wasn't moving, but he wasn't quelled, either.

"We will correct the mistake," the Head told him, coming to a stop beside Naruto and looking down at the unconscious boy. "By taking the life of Uzumaki Naruto."

A/N: It's proven rather difficult to get the two casts to interact correctly. So far, it's sort of like a junior high school dance. Boys on one side, girls on the other. The music is playing, but nobody's dancing… Of course, I intend to sort that out (by force, if I have to) in the next part. Apparently, I am incapable of writing humorous fluff. Which is rather sad, considering that I enjoy a good humorous fluff piece. Well, it appears there's going to be action and plot for at least a while longer. The fluff will kick in soon...ish.

I thank everyone for their reviews. Though it's not something I usually do, I think I may start answering some of them at the end of the story in this space. I should just reply to you by email, but I'm kinda...lazy...

On a final note: no matter how hard I try and how careful I am, always manages to screw up my formatting. We'll see how it does, this time.