Chapter 3
A/N: As the show took liberties with the real Amerithrax case, so have I.
2001:
It was a high profile case, more so than ever before during Strauss' career. The entire nation, as well as large parts of the rest of the world, were already on edge after the 9/11 attacks; the anthrax letters created a new level of panic, and everyone in the Bureau was working like mad to apprehend whoever was responsible. As a part of a larger team, Strauss and Blake had been working closely for weeks.
As Unit Chief, Strauss had soon noticed how the men were inexplicably uncomfortable working with Blake. For all its declarations of equality, FBI was still very much a boys' club, and the boys often got defensive at the sight of an intelligent, independently thinking woman. Their behavior was childish and ignorant, but after a few, forced attempts to make them play nicely together with Blake and taking into account the pressure they were all in, Erin had decided to deal with team issues later. For the moment, she tended to pair Blake with herself, which, with the long days and long hours they pulled in, meant that they spent more time together than with anyone else. A fast friendship was formed.
As the weeks passed, those long days started to take their toll. It became almost a routine for people to crash, every now and then, on the old army cots at Quantico's basement, Strauss and Blake included.
Erin sat across the mattress from Alex, leaning her back against the wall, with Alex sitting cross-legged next to her. They'd come down to the basement almost an hour ago, but, despite the long day and being exhausted, neither of them could sleep. Unfortunately, it was a common occurrence. Their minds were still working, even if their bodies were ready to call it quits for the night. Thankfully, the room was deserted, except for the two of them, so, at least, they could pass the time by talking before sleep would finally claim at least one of them.
"There just didn't seem to be a point to it anymore," Erin said, opening up for the first time about her recent divorce. "Everything we did for years revolved around the children, and now they're old enough so that they don't depend on us so much. I hadn't realized it, but, for a long time, our lives were so ridiculously routine we didn't even talk about who would pick up Michael from practice, or take Samantha to her piano lessons, or Andrea to her friend's house. We hardly ever talked to each other anymore. Not even about the children. And it was like John and I suddenly had nothing to say to each other. There was just this huge nothingness between us."
"But you tried to figure it out, right?" Alex gently inquired.
"We tried. We talked some, went on a few... well, dates, I suppose. We tried to get on the same page, sort of find each other again." Erin shrugged slightly. "It turns out, it's hard to do that when the other one has already set sights on someone else."
"Oh, Erin." Alex reached to hold her superior's hand, but, as soon as their hands touched, she seemed to realize she was overstepping boundaries. They were friends, yes, but Strauss was still her boss - and a very private one at that. Blake started to withdraw her hand when Erin grasped it and didn't let go.
It had stung at first, but Erin had come to terms with her ex's infidelity. It said a lot about the state of their marriage that she'd been able to do so as quickly as she had. "She was a finance consultant, hired for their company." Strauss chuckled under her breath. "The thing is, though, that she's not younger, nor necessarily even prettier. She just doesn't work as long hours as I do, and she's not tied to maintaining a household with three teenagers after all that."
Alex winced in sympathy and then looked wistful, something that didn't escape Erin's notice.
"What about you and James? You're still happy, right?"
The brunette looked down, her dark hair obscuring her face from Erin's questioning eyes. "Alex?"
"I'm not sure if he's having an affair, or if he really is that dedicated to his job. Whichever it is, I'm definitely coming second," Alex finally admitted, after a long silence.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Strauss murmured. She was about to continue when the door of the room opened, and another female agent walked in. Pulling their still linked hands apart, the women nodded a greeting to the intruder. Alex glanced at Erin and offered a rueful smile; the time for confiding was over for now.
Two weeks later, Blake and Strauss found themselves wrapping up the day earlier than usual. Or, what was rapidly becoming 'usual'. The Unit Chief stretched her aching muscles and watched as Blake stood beside her desk, packing a few items into her bag.
"How ridiculous is it that when we, for once, get to go home around a decent time, I'd rather stay downstairs than go home?" Strauss asked around a yawn. "I just don't want to drive all that way to an empty house. Then again, I don't think my back could handle the poor state of those bunk beds tonight."
Alex squinted her eyes, looking at Erin as if she was trying to decide on something.
"What is it?"
"Okay, you have to tell me if this sounds weird, or if you feel like I'm crossing a line here," Alex forewarned. At Strauss' accepting nod, she continued. "I'm not too thrilled about the idea of heading home either. James is working a double shift, or so he says. All I've got waiting for me at home is an aquarium and leftover pizza, so... We could get a room at the Dumfries' Holiday Inn, relax, get room service, have a glass of wine… or two, and, I don't know, recharge by watching a comedy or something."
Erin had to admit she was tempted. The idea of no cooking, no cleaning, and just taking it easy for the rest of the evening sounded like heaven. She readily agreed.
The following morning Erin decided that it was the best idea Alex had had since they'd started working together. The evening had been enjoyable, and Erin marveled at how the easy friendship they had developed over the past months had somehow deepened in just one evening. They'd talked, late into night, and discovered their many similarities and shared interests. Erin found herself trusting the other woman in a way she had never really trusted another person. She treasured the time they spent together and was surprised to discover just how much she had come to rely on Alex.
Soon, it became something of a tradition for them; whenever their day ended reasonably early, so that they could enjoy the evening together, they'd get a room at the Inn. By their fourth stay, they had added sex to the list of activities for the night. After the first time it happened, Erin woke the next day with a serious case of regret over their actions. She couldn't believe they'd allowed things to take such a turn, no matter how each of them had wanted it. She was still Alex's superior, and sex could, and most likely would, complicate matters. And Alex, well, Alex was still married. Erin agonized over their indiscretion while still lying in bed, the other woman snuggled to her side. Then Alex lifted her head from Erin's chest and smiled brilliantly before leaning in for a kiss. After that, Erin couldn't, for the life of her, come up with a reason why she should end this arrangement.
For two months, Alex and Erin made their way to the Inn after work, sometimes once, sometimes twice a week. The frequency of their meetings after work made them both worry over being found out, and so they soon started staying in different inns, rotating them at random intervals. If either woman noticed how those evenings went from chance encounters to moments they worked hard to fit into their schedules, neither mentioned it. By some miracle, they managed to hide the affair from their co-workers, though, if anyone noticed how close they'd become, they probably contributed it to their obvious friendship.
It was the first week of January, and the first time since before Christmas that Alex and Erin had been able to arrange to meet in private. Now, two hours after checking in, Alex collapsed on the bed, quite exhausted from their enthusiastic reunion. She laid on her back, pulling the covers over her and Erin. Alex let her eyes rest on the other woman, who, still slightly out of breath, settled against Alex.
"God woman, what you do to me," Erin sighed against Alex's shoulder.
The younger woman laughed. "What can I say? I missed you."
The kiss that followed the heartfelt confession was sweet and tender. Too soon, though, exhaustion took over and they gave into sleep. An hour later, and refreshed from their little nap, it was mutually decided a shower was needed, after which they ordered light dinner to be sent to the room.
Finally reclining on the bed again, this time Erin resting against the backboard as Alex leaned against her lover, their discussion drifted back to work, as it sometimes did, despite their best efforts. This had been a good week, though; they talked about the breakthrough they'd just had. An arrest had finally been made, two days before, and the BAU's profilers were currently interviewing the suspect. Soon, they'd find out just how many people were behind these attacks, and they would finally put an end to this madness. Erin congratulated Alex on providing the vital insight against the terrorist.
"It wasn't just me though, Erin. It was the team, all of us," Blake stated. She might have helped with the linguistics, but they all agreed on the meaning of the wording, which, in turn, lead them to the right man. Now, it was just about making sure they had tied all the loose ends and hadn't missed anything.
"Well, either way, it looks like we'll be wrapping this one up soon. God, just thinking about the amount of paperwork waiting for me once this is all over gives me an ulcer," Strauss lamented. She was a bureaucrat, it wasn't something she was ashamed of, but just because she was a firm believer in rules and regulations, didn't mean she loved paperwork any more than the next person.
"So, once the case is done..." Alex's words drifted off; they were both well aware that the end of the case meant there would be no more excuse for long days.
No need to rent a room at a hotel.
"I don't want to give this up, Erin." Alex kissed the woman's bare shoulder and reveled in the feeling of Erin holding her just a little tighter.
"I don't want to either," Erin confessed quietly.
The three, unspoken words hung in the air but remained unsaid; this was not the time for grand declarations. Maybe, once the case was truly over. Their eyes met, and it was as if a silent agreement had been reached; as if they'd just made a pact. Unable to stop the smile spreading on her face, Erin leaned closer to Alex and kissed her thoroughly. She couldn't have been happier.
The next day, Erin sacrificed Alex's career for the sake of the team's reputation – and her own.
TBC