**Chapter 3: Downfall**
*They* were in Roger's boat which he shared with Justin, a 5 year old boy who had rescued Roger from a fire when they'd lived in PB.
'Where's Justin?' asked Edilio to Roger. They were in Roger's room. There were so manydrawings on the walls, you could hardly see the orange wallpaper.
' Swimming with his friends.' Replied Roger.
' Does he know?' asked Edilio.
' No, he's too young to understand.'
' Since when did you know that you were, err, gay?' asked Edilio embarrassed that he'd used he 'g' word.
' Before the FAYZ, when I had a girlfriend and didn't love her. Being with her made me bored and sad. So I used the Internet to search about my sexuality and, well, I refused the possibility that I was gay, so I started Internet dating girls to see my possibilities, but they weren't for me. Then I met a boy in the FAYZ, and I knew we were meant to be. I wanted him so bad, but he was straight.' Roger frowned. Edilio frowned.
'Who was i_"t?' Edilio asked slightly jealous of the boy.
' You.' Said Roger. Gazing at Edilio.
' What!' shouted Edilio taking steps back.
' It's true, ever since I met you, I loved you.' Roger said desperately wanting Edilio to calm down. Like that was going to work.
' I... Need to go, now.' And Edilio ran. But Roger ran too and tackled him to the ground, again. This time, he fought back. He span round to see Roger's sad eyes. Edilio regretted having to do this but Edilio punched Roger in the face. He got to the door and looked back at Roger, he was on the floor with his nose bleeding. Edilio wanted to help but he was scared, scared of Roger's love for him.
Edilio turned and ran off the boat, ran out of the marina, past the gardening plots, and into the wasteland of dry grass and coyotes. He screamed and shouted out, and kicked the dirt. Then collapsed on the ground. He sobbed and cried.
What had he become. A monster. He had punched the man who loved him and had run away from his fears. No, he wasn't a monster, he was a coward. Edilio like Roger, but not like that. Sure, he had gotten a reaction down below but that didn't mean anything, did it?
He wished he had the Internet to look up what it meant like Roger had. He wished. But no one listened to wishes or prayers in he FAYZ, there was no God. After all, Why would God make him this way?
Who would know what it meant, who in the FAYZ knew what it meant to get hard. Was it attraction to the boy, or attraction to boys in general. No one knew. No one at all.
No, that wasn't true, Roger knew. But Edilio wasn't going to waltz into his boat and ask the question not after what had happened.
Roger cried, cried endlessly. How could he have been so stupid. To tell Edilio. *His* 'Dilio. Edilio hated him.
He didn't know how long he wept, but he knew that he had missed Dinner and ignored knocks on his door from Justin.
He had wanted Edilio so much, he wanted to hold him throughout the night, to kiss him in broad daylight not caring about onlooking kids. He'd had a chance to be with Edilio, but he had snatched at it and missed it carelessly. It was like standing on a platform of thin ice and running in order to get off. You would just fall through.
He had had fantasies and hopes about being with Edilio, when Edilio had come out to him, they had seemed all too real and complete. But out of selfishness and greed, Roger had overwhelmed Edilio with the truth when he wasn't prepared, he should have made Edilio realise they were in love slowly.
It was obvious they were in love, Edilio had gotten hard infront of him. That doesn't happen to anyone. Just Roger.
He had earned all his hope to be flushed away and he had earned that broken nose. He barely registered the physical pain, but the mental agony was too much to bare.
So Roger lied there, crying his eyes out.