I really struggled with this chapter and became angry with myself for a while for leaving it on that cliff-hanger. However, I knew that we needed to have a Thranduil/Tauriel conversation at some point in the story and I might as well try and write it and fortunately, my family are so dull tonight I managed to write something.
Thank you for your amazing reviews to the last two chapters. They've been incredible and so lovely to read. You are all wonderful and I wish you all who reviewed, followed and favourite a Happy New Year and a wonderful 2015.
Tauriel had never thought of Thranduil as terrifying before.
He had intimidated her when she was young elfling, but he had also been the elf who had comforted her after her parent's death. He hadn't pulled her away when she had clung to him in fear after the elves had found her. He had told her stories, kept her safe and treated her like his own child. She had been brought up with the Prince, treated with the upmost respect and loved by many.
Even when she had served him as a guard he hadn't scared her. Thranduil had of course intimidated her and she would never have disobeyed him but she was never scared of him. She had always been grateful to him. He had saved her life, given her every opportunity possible and had rewarded her with the title of Captain of the Guard. The title that he had taken away from her just as quickly as he had given it to her. She had been so proud the day that she was made Captain. Most of the elves had believed that it wouldn't happen because she was so young and a woman but Thranduil had smirked at them when she beat them in trials and shown herself to be one of his strongest guards. He had awarded her in front of a large crowd of guards, many of whom were the elves who had complained about her possibly receiving the title. They had celebrated, drunk and Thranduil had told her that he was proud of her. She could remember smiling in happiness at being told by that by the figure she had tried so hard to impress.
Even the first time she had disobeyed him by going after the dwarves and then threatened him by pointing an arrow at him, she had been far from scared. When she had saved Kili, she knew that Thranduil would not be happy with her disobedience. She had known that she would be most likely banished, forced out of her home and left to her own devices but she hadn't cared. She had seen what she could do if she simply left their borders when she had sat beside a healing Kili. She had wanted to save lives, stop the evil from spreading, not hide away inside the borders of her home. Kili had awoken the need in her more than she had ever thought possible.
Threatening her king had been her desperate attempt to protect the man she loved and his kin. She had wanted to save Kili and the dwarves and she was not going to allow Thranduil to let them die. Even when he had destroyed her bow, told her that her love wasn't real and threatened her life, she hadn't been scared. She had found herself hating him. Found herself, hating the elf who had once been a father to her. She had loved him once but at that moment, when his sword was pressed against her, she had never hated anyone as much as she did him. He would have allowed Kili to die to remain safely hidden away. He wouldn't risk his people's lives to save thousands of others, even though they were the stronger army. He had wanted to stay away from the danger and she would never forgive him for that.
However, standing in front of her King now as he sat on his throne, scared her. He hadn't said anything since she had arrived to find that there were no guards present. It was only her and him. He was staring at her in complete silence and that terrified her. She didn't know why she had been called for an audience and she still feared that he would learn about her baby. She had tried to hide the change to her figure, pulling on a thick cloak she owed and making the guard even more frustrated because she had taken so long to find it. She had never really worn it before. She barely felt the cold and it wasn't a particularly necessary item in her wardrobe but it would hide her figure to some extent.
"It is nice to see that you have left your room Tauriel," Thranduil finally commented, his voice cold as she nodded slowly, not knowing how to respond. She desperately wanted to return to the comfort of her dark room where no one could judge her. She wanted to hide away and keep her baby safe from the elves who may wish harm upon her child because they viewed it as an abomination. "You are cold," Thranduil said quietly, almost like he was concerned, as he glanced down at the dark material that was wrapped around her. "Are you unwell?" he asked.
"No my lord," Tauriel finally responded, her voice almost silent, while his eyes remained on her. She knew that he didn't believe her. She wouldn't be wearing a cloak if she was feeling healthy. "I am just tired," the redhead continued, desperately trying to stop him worrying about her. She knew that if he became concerned enough he would order a healer to see him and she would not be able to turn them away. A healer would learn the truth and would be forced to tell their king the truth. "I have not been sleeping well since…" she admitted, not remembering the last time she had slept through the night. It was not like she had even grown used to having Kili beside her at night. They had spent one cherished evening together and that had been it. They had spent every night with one another. They had been fortunate just to have that one night alone together.
"Maybe a healer would be able to give you something to help you sleep Tauriel," Thranduil suggested, shocking her by how completely worried he sounded. He had moved forward in his seat, almost like he was desperate to move towards her but was stopping himself. "Legolas told me that you finally allowed him to see you," Thranduil commented. "He has been worried about you, we have both been concerned with your behaviour recently," he declared.
"I apologise for worrying you both," Tauriel said quietly. She hadn't planned to worry anyone but she hadn't thought about anyone else. She was confused. Thranduil had banished her and yet had allowed her to return to Mirkwood. He had hated the very thought of her relationship with Kili and yet had tried to comfort her when he had discovered her with his body. He had clearly been frustrated when she had entered the room but now seemed concerned about her wellbeing. She would have preferred to know that he hated her rather than be stuck with this feeling of complete uncertainty. "I am sure you didn't ask for me to discuss my health," Tauriel commented, remaining still when Thranduil laughed in response.
"No I did not Tauriel," Thranduil stated before reaching across for a piece of parchment that she had not noticed. "I received a parchment this morning," he explained, confusion covering Tauriel's face at his statement. What did a parchment have to do with her? She knew no one outside of their borders. The parchment clearly couldn't have anything to do with her. "We have been informed that Thorin will be crowned King under the Mountain in a week. I wish to send you and Legolas as representatives," the King declared, noticing the complete shock that decorated her face at his news. Thorin was still alive?
"Thorin survived?" Tauriel asked quietly. He was still alive? "He is alive?" she questioned, her King nodding as she smiled weakly. Although she knew that Thorin would have disapproved of her love for his nephew, she was glad to hear that one of the line of Durin had survived the battle. Then it hit her. "You want to send me to Erebor?" the redhead asked, panic suddenly covering her face. "But I…" she began. The idea of returning to the place where Kili had fallen and the halls where he and Fili were buried panicked her. She didn't want to face the dwarves when she felt so guilty for their loss. She should have been able to protect Kili but she failed. Here she could hide away in her rooms but if she went to Erebor, all eyes would be on her. The dwarves still didn't trust the elves, she was aware that that was unlikely to change even after they had fought together at the battle. She would be watched with an equal amount of dislike as she was stared at her. "I do not feel that I would be the most appropriate person to attend on your behalf," Tauriel said quietly, aware that it was unlikely that she would be able to change his decision. Thranduil had made his mind up and he often didn't listen to others opinions.
"You are the most appropriate person to attend this coronation Tauriel. You understand the dwarves and I know Legolas would like your company," Thranduil stated before standing and slowly moving down the steps towards her. She suddenly felt panicked. If he got too close to her there was a greater chance that he would find out the truth. "I also think that it would be good for you Tauriel," he said honestly, his voice calm as he reached her and smiled. "You have been hiding away in your room since your return and I know that you are grieving for the dwarf but you cannot hide away forever," the blonde declared before reaching out and resting his hand on her shoulder, her eyes looking up at him as she bit into her lip. "You are immortal and you are not fading Tauriel, you need to leave your room and start living your life again," Thranduil declared as she nodded slowly, aware that he would never change his mind. "I have allowed you to return to Mirkwood, do you not feel happy to have be welcomed back to your home?" he asked, clearly getting frustrated with her. He was right. He had allowed her to return after banishment, after she had disobeyed his orders and she was not obeying him. She was not showing herself to be grateful like he believed she should be. She was instead hiding away in the darkness, ignoring the rest of the world around her.
"When do we leave?" Tauriel asked quietly, trying desperately to be grateful.
"Tomorrow," Thranduil stated. "They have apparently planned numerous festivities for the coronation," her King explained, the redhead not surprised that the dwarves had organised various celebrations. She had learnt from Kili that they loved music, food and drink and were extremely fond of any form of celebration. After all the tragedy that had occurred to them with the battle, she wasn't surprised that they would celebrate the first good event to happen after they had taken back their homeland. "You might have fun Tauriel," Thranduil commented as she nodded slowly, smiling weakly at him before she began to move towards the exit. "You do know that I care about you Tauriel?" Thranduil suddenly asked once she had her back to him, her eyes shutting at his question. "You were always so happy and spirited, I would like to see her return," Thranduil continued as Tauriel bit into her lip, suddenly aware of the tears that were threatening to spill. He would not care for her again when he learnt the truth, learnt that she had given herself completely to their enemy and conceived a child.
"So would I," Tauriel admitted before slowly walking away from the throne room, aware that their conversation was now over. "But she is lost I think," Tauriel whispered to herself, returning to the safety of her bedroom.
What do you think? I know some of you will not like that Thranduil didn't sense her pregnancy but it wouldn't work for my story. I do have a plan for when he will know about the baby but there is a lot more to happen before that and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
Please review, I do love to hear from you.
Also, I forgot to ask that if anyone has any suggestions for anything that want to see in the story do let me know and I will try my best to fit in at some point. This story is as much for you as it is for me.