Beautiful Disaster
"Phil, its Sam, I just want to say that I'm sorry about last night and everything. I just want to talk to you-can you meet me in the soft interview room in say half an hour or call me when you get this message, Luv u Sam" Damn it, why isn't he answering Sam thought to herself. There was a knock at the door and the DCI came in.
"Sam" he asked concerned.
"Yeah"
"have you heard from Phil"
"I left a message on hid voicemail and he hasn't answered, I hid my number so he wouldn't know its me. I don't know why he's not answering. Last night I went round to his house and he wasn't there neither was his car." She paused. "I think something's happened. He got caught up with Dreyfus, these people are career criminals. Something must be wrong"
"well that's what I was going to tell you, Uniform from Swanley Police have found his car, but"
"but, no Phil"
"right" he looked grave "theres some CCTV which you can view if you want"
"mmm" Sam said trying not to let Jack see the tears that were rapidly falling down her face. Jack pulled her into a hug.
"Its not your fault you know"
"yeah, but if I hadn't of flew off at him. None of this would have happened."
"Sam, either you would have done that or I would of have. Its just he took advantage of you-he wouldn't have said that to me."
"suppose"
"Come on, you want to see that tape don't you" She followed Jack into CID briefing. He pressed play and Phil running out of a garage appeared on the screen. He ran over to a women "Monica" Sam muttered to herself "she could see the back of someone pushing him into the van.
"Can we get a better sound on this"
"Are you sure you want to hear it, Sam" she nodded.
"Monica, Are you ok"
"don't Phil it's a trap"
"What do you mean" Sam then watched in horror as Phil was bundled into the back of a unmarked white van-no reg, they had practically no hope in hell finding him now.
Jack looked at Sam, her shoulders fell and her eyes were glazed. She went to the loo's. She put the seat down and sat. Sat and thought. I need him back. I must have him back.
That evening Sam was sat at home with a half full bottle of wine watching a crap "entertainment show." After about twenty minutes of mind-numbing chatter she switched it off. She thought of Phil, if he dies its her fault.
He
drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as
damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And
if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't
right
It just ain't right
He's been there for her, the whole time, like he said-through Weaver, Hugh, Abi's Abduction, Stuart, the miscarriage and Romania. He stood by me, always there. He told me he loved me and I ran away. I didn't know what he wanted-whether I was the one. I didn't want to risk my heart being broke, But whats life without a couple of risks. He said that to me after Romania-like Romania was Risk free. We nearly died, he told me he loved me and I pushed him away.
Oh
and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so
beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold
on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or
just a beautiful disaster
People say he will cheat on me, but I never gave him that chance. He changed. He changed for me. He changed me. He changed me for the better. I could open up to him, feel safe; Surely I should've stayed with him, given him a chance-through the good and the bad. For better or worse.
Oh
'cause I don't know
He's
magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More
damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So
hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
I don't know what he's after
But he's so
beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold
on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or
just a beautiful disaster
He didn't care when it was or why-as long as I was there, as long as I needed him, he was there. Why do I always follow my head? Follow your heart to your dreams and your head to success.
He's soft to the touch Oh 'cause I don't know He's
beautiful
I'm
longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy
hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so
long
So long
But frayed at the
end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I
can take
I don't know what he's
after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if
I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be
beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
Such a beautiful disaster
I can't live without him, I need him and I need him to know that.
Plz review, luv Emma x