The next day, Harley woke up at the crack of dawn. Not that she could see that it was the crack of dawn underwater, but mermaids tell time based on the rise and fall of the tide, and in this particular instance, the tide indicated that it was the crack of dawn. She instantly swam out of her coral bed and through the palace, heading straight for the door.
"Hold on there, young lady," said a stern voice, as her arm was seized by Poison Ivy. "Before you head out there, we need to have a talk."
"Can't we talk afterward?" begged Harley. "I really wanna see the sun rise!"
Ivy sighed. "Fine," she said. "But stay well away from any humans until Selina and I join you tonight. And then we'll talk."
"Thank you, Mother!" exclaimed Harley, hugging her tightly. "I promise I will! See you tonight!" she cried, dashing off into the ocean.
"Meet us on the rocks by the bay!" called Ivy after her. "We'll have a surprise to show you!"
Harley half wondered what the surprise was, but she was too excited to focus on anything but her impending experience of the surface world. As she swam hurriedly up and up, the water turned lighter and lighter, until she broke the surface of the sea to see beams of gold shining all around her. She felt the sun on her flesh for the first time, and warmth seeping through her entire body. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced before, and better than she could ever have imagined. She giggled, splashing around in the burnished water, flicking her tail and watching the droplets catch the sunlight and form little beams of rainbows. She thought she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. It wasn't the only time she was going to be thinking that today.
Eventually, she swam to the shore, making sure to keep herself concealed in the water as much as possible. She saw the huge buildings the humans had created along the shore, and then she saw them walking along the water's edge – running, laughing, playing, splashing. She saw the sweet, innocent faces of children chasing the tide in and out, of men and women going about their daily business, and she longed more than ever to experience their lives.
She barely noticed the passage of time, engrossed as she was in observing the humans, but as the sun began to set, she suddenly saw a huge object in the distance getting closer and closer to the port. Curious, she dove into the water and swam over to it. It was a ship – she had never seen one of these up close either. She swam alongside it, and managed to grab one of the ropes hanging over the side, hoisting herself up so she could see the deck without being seen herself.
The ship contained only men, dressed in similar clothing. All except one, a man dressed in purple, who stood with his back to her along the opposite railing, staring out to sea. He was humming something, and suddenly started singing, in the most beautiful voice Harley had ever heard, "They're finny and funny and oh, so delish! They're joyful and jolly Joker fish!"
"We're almost at Gotham, sir," said one of the sailors, saluting him.
"We're almost at Gotham, your highness," corrected the man, turning around to face him. And Harley gasped at the most beautiful face she'd ever seen. The man was tall, and irresistibly handsome, from his porcelain skin to his bright green hair and eyes, and grinning red lips framing a huge white smile. He held a fish who looked identical to him, which flopped in his hands.
"Uh…we're almost at Gotham, your highness," repeated the sailor. "Do we really…have to call you that? I mean, you're not even a real prince…"
"Of course I'm a real prince!" snapped the man. "I'm the Clown Prince of Crime, and therefore the reigning monarch of Gotham City! I don't see anyone else vying for that title!"
"Uh…yes, sir," agreed the sailor. "Your highness," he corrected, before the man could.
"Oh, it's always nice to return to my sweet little ha-ha-hacienda!" sighed the man in the purple suit, turning his attention back to the harbor. "And by ha-ha-hacienda, I mean kingdom. I bet Gotham's really missed its Clown Prince while I've been away, and now that I'm back, I'm ready to give this town the kind of criminal it deserves! The kind who invents genius plans, like Joker fish," he said, gesturing at the fish he held.
"Uh…what's genius about it?" asked the sailor.
The man frowned. "Well, if you don't get it, you don't get it," he sighed. "Maybe it's a caper a little ahead of its time anyway. Besides, this little guy's just a minnow – not suitable at all for my plan," he sighed, dropping the fish gently over the side. "There you go, little guy. Swim away and be free. Oh, and dump the rest of 'em overboard too," he said, gesturing to a net of caught fish flopping around on deck. "We'll do this scheme another time."
"Dump 'em overboard?" repeated the sailor, incredulous. "Why wouldn't we eat 'em…"
"You don't eat Joker fish!" snapped the man in purple, rounding on him furiously. "They share my unique face! You don't get to eat my face! Nobody gets to eat my face, understand?!"
"Uh…yes, sir," stammered the sailor.
"Yes, your highness!" snapped the man in purple. "Now dump the fish! And hurry, before they suffocate! I'm many things, but wasteful I am not," he said, heading for the cabin. "And maybe if they go back out into the ocean, they can procreate and make Joker fish babies! And what could be cuter than that?"
Harley watched in astonishment as the sailors obeyed, dumping the fish back into the ocean. She saw them swim away unharmed, and then turned her attention back to the ship. The man in purple had disappeared into his cabin, but she stared dreamily at the door, feeling a hundred new and wonderful feelings bubbling to the surface. The man was not only incredibly handsome, he was incredibly kind, returning the fish to the water rather than catching and eating them. Maybe her mother was wrong about some humans. Maybe some were different, and special. Harley knew in her heart that this Clown Prince was…
"Harley!" snapped a furious voice, and Harley turned to see Ivy and Selina glaring at her from the water below. "Get down here at once!" snapped Ivy. "It's hugely dangerous to be around ships! You could be caught in a net or crushed!"
"Sorry," whispered Harley, leaping off the ship and joining them in the water. "I was just curious. I've never seen a ship or humans that close before."
"Have you had a good birthday?" asked Selina.
"Oh yes," sighed Harley. "I've had the most wonderful day! The humans are so fascinating to watch, and Mother, you'll never guess what one of them did…"
"I'll hear all about it later, dear," interrupted Ivy, gently. "Come on over to the rocks with us. We have something to show you."
Harley obeyed, swimming with them over to the sharp outcropping near the port. "What is it?" she asked, climbing up onto the rocks next to them.
"You see that ship you were watching?" asked Ivy, pointing to the Clown Prince's ship.
"Yes," said Harley, nodding.
"Well, let me show you what all your years of voice and magic training are for," said Ivy. "Selina, you may begin."
Selina opened her mouth, and the most beautiful notes began to flow from her, enchanting the air around them, and the ears of everyone on the ship. Harley watched as the sailors steering the ship became hypnotized, and began turning it toward the rocks.
"What are you doing?" whispered Harley, confused and concerned. "The ship is going to crash if it steers near us."
"That's the idea," agreed Ivy. "You see, Harley, that's what we sirens do. We use our voices to lure sailors to their doom. We crash their ships, and if that doesn't kill them, we pull them under the waves to drown them."
Harley stared at her in shock and horror. "But…but why?" she gasped.
"Why?" repeated Ivy. "Because they're evil barbarians. Trust me, you don't know men, but I do, and men deserve to be drowned, every last one of them."
"That's not true!" cried Harley. "And this isn't right! Selina, stop singing, please!" she begged. "You can't crash that ship!"
"Don't be such a fraidy fish, Harley," retorted Selina. "It's fun."
"Selina's right – it is fun," agreed Ivy. "Just wait until they're in the water and you can drown them, my darling. I promise you'll enjoy that…"
"No!" cried Harley. "No, I won't! It's evil and it's wrong and nobody on that ship has done anything worthy of death! Stop it right now, before it's too late! Please!"
"It's already too late, Harley," retorted Selina, as the ship suddenly dashed into the rocks, which split it open.
"What the hell are you idiots doing…" began the Clown Prince, who had come out of his cabin suddenly to see chaos on deck. Harley gasped in horror as the ship lurched, sending him hurtling forward and knocking his skull against the railing, which knocked him unconscious. The ship lurched again, sending him over the side.
"No!" she cried, leaping off the rocks and into the water suddenly.
"Harley, come back!" shouted Ivy, diving after her. Harley ignored her, swimming furiously and scanning the water desperately for the Clown Prince. She spotted him at last, sinking slowly down into the deep, and raced after him. She seized him around the waist, pulling him up toward the surface, when her tail was suddenly grabbed by Ivy.
"Harley, what do you think you're doing?" she demanded. "You're supposed to pull them under, not pull them up!"
"I'm not letting him drown!" shouted Harley, kicking against her.
"Harley, he's just a man!" shouted Ivy. "And drowning men is what we do!"
"It's not what I do!" shouted Harley. "It's horrible, and wrong, and if you can't see that, then you're the barbarian, not him!"
"Harley…" began Ivy, deeply hurt, but Harley kicked at her again and she let go. Harley instantly swam off toward the surface, holding the Clown Prince tightly. She broke the surface of the water and towed him to shore. She lay him on the sand, and began searching desperately for signs of life. She pressed his chest, and opened his mouth, and then brought her mouth to his, trying to breathe life back into him.
She drew away with tears in her eyes when he didn't respond. But then one more idea struck her, and she suddenly raised her hand and slapped him hard across the face.
"Woah!" he exclaimed, jolting awake. "My aching skull! What the hell happened…"
He stopped talking abruptly when he saw Harley, who stared back at him, open-mouthed, a mixture of relieved that he was alive, and panicked that he, a human, had seen her. The latter emotion overrode everything, and she suddenly dove into the water without a word, disappearing down into the safety of the deep.
The Clown Prince picked himself up slowly, walking to the edge of the beach and peering down into the waves. Then he shook his head, and rubbed the bump on his skull. "Some hallucination. Must have hit my head harder than I thought," he muttered, turning away from the sea.