Chapter 3:

Father & Son

The pair sat awkward in silence for a long while, Sam shifting nervously in his seat. The sound of Katherine moving around the kitchen the only noise in the house. Sam thought about leaving more than once but couldn't bring himself to. His eyes drifted back to the mantle every few minutes, his heart skipping guiltily. He'd never expected to be the one to leave a one-night stand holding the baby, that was Dean's speciality, okay, it happened once, but still he never though he'd be that man.

His stomach clenched at the memory of Emma, monster that she was, she'd still been Dean's daughter and he'd killed her. It had haunted him, he didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't had Gabriel to turn to. Only Gabriel hadn't been real. - But the peace he'd give, even imaginary, had been better than none at all.

"So Dean's on a hunt?" Alfie said, pulling Sam out of his head.

"Huh?"

"You said Dean was hunting with a friend?"

"Yeah, Garth. He's a little…unusually but a good hunter."

"You didn't go with them?"

"They didn't need me. - And well, I needed some time away from Dean."

Alfie stared at him and Sam got that feeling of being read. He felt it all the time with Cass. - He'd even on occasion had felt like Gabriel was reading his mind. He'd never liked it.

Alfie nodded understandingly; pressing his lips into a firm line while staring down at his sneakers covered feet.

Sam exhaled. "So…what do you do? - Here I mean. I know you were at college when…before."

Alfie shrugged. "At the moment I'm just…getting settled again. I want to go back to school. Maybe."

"I think you should." Sam smiled encouragingly. "I saw you're grades, you're bright, don't waste it."

Alfie sighed, getting to his feet and walked out of the room. Sam sat frozen, fearing he'd said something, done something to upset his son. He pushed himself out of his seat and moved to the door; worry etched in his features when he heard Alfie returning. Sam retook his seat cautiously watching Alfie approach and sit beside him.

"So I found this in the library a few days ago." He held out a book to Sam.

"What is it?"

"You're parents' high school year book." Alfie clarified, flicking though the pages before holding it out to his father.

Sam scanned the black and white pictures until a soft smile caught his attention, younger than the last time he'd seen her. Mary Campbell. His mother. The tears he'd fought to hold back since his arrival finally slid his eyes. His fingers stroking the beautiful girls face.

The cushion shifted beside him but he didn't look up, he simply tore his gaze from his mother and flipped through the pages until he found another all too familiar face. John Winchester. The thick black lettering announced. Sam swiped at his eyes, the sudden image of his grandfather flooding his mind. His dad would never know what Henry had done, that he'd given his life to save them. - Why he'd supposedly abandoned him as a child. The John staring up at him now had no idea that his father was a hero. That he'd loved him.

Sam turned sharply to stare at Alfie, his eyes red and sore, his heart racing as he looked at the boy he'd help create, his chest swelling with an unfamiliar warmth.

"You okay?" Alfie asked gently, his brow drawn tight together.

Sam nodded. "Fine." he choked. "I… - I just… - I met my grandfather recently, your great grandfather, Henry Winchester." he swallowed the lump growing in his throat. "He…my dad…" he looked down at the picture. "He thought he'd been abandoned but he hadn't, not on purpose. Henry was pulled here. He tried to get back but… - He sacrificed himself to save me and Dad will never know."

Alfie sighed sadly, hanging his head. "I'm sorry."

"You'll never know him." he glanced back at the mantle.

Alfie followed his line of sight. "I have memories." he reassured tightly.

"Yeah, but it's not the same." Sam shook his head. "Me and my dad argued constantly. We never saw eye to eye, but I still wish he was here."

"I…. - I miss him." Alfie confessed quietly. "It's only been a couple of years for me, so it still…hurts. - I was really young when he… - I miss his voice as he told me bedtime stories. I miss his silly jokes and the way he'd play with me. - I wish he were here sometimes. - When the nightmares come. He was so good dealing with nightmares."

Sam smiled shakily, his hand squeezing the younger man's shoulder. "I…" he took a breath. "I miss him too sometimes." he confessed. "He'd be proud of you. - And pissed at me for not protecting you. For not finding that message sooner."

Alfie shook his head. "I'm not so sure he'd be that proud of me. I got captured didn't I, despite everything he warned us against I didn't run when I knew there was trouble."

"Believe me, he wouldn't hold that against you. He'd just blame it on your genes." Sam smiled. "Us Winchesters never know when to walk away from trouble, it's how I ended up with Gabriel in the first place."

Alfie raised a brow quizzically. "Oh?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah. The night we…" he shook his head. "You were…you know, he got into a fight with a biker at a bar and once again I had to rescue him, just like in high school. I should have walked away, trouble always follows Gabriel but I just…couldn't." he sighed.

"Katherine doesn't talk about…how I was conceived." Alfie said matter-of-factly. "She says she wasn't there, Dad only told me the bare minimum. I was only a kid after all. I know Katherine was his vessel."

Sam nodded. "She'd been his vessel in high school too, that's how I met her…him….them both. I don't know why he was there, he never told me. I used to think it was just to screw with me but…he insisted it wasn't. - He was only around for a couple of weeks, then he vanished, though I didn't know that, I didn't even know…I thought Katherine was just giving me the brush off for kissing her. - Anyway I bumped into him in New York, not knowing it was Gabriel. I thought it was Katherine. I saved him from the biker, we had a few drinks and reminisced. It was like we'd never been apart then…well…I'm pretty sure you don't want the gory details." he flushed. "You're here so you can probably figure out the rest. - I assume Katherine's explained about the birds and the bees?"

Alfie looked at him confused. "Huh?"

Sam stared with wide eyes. "You're…kidding right?"

The laugh that burst out of Alfie sent a pain though Sam's chest. "Of course I know about sex. I even had a girlfriend before…." his smile faded slightly.

"You did?" Sam asked, surprised. "Isn't that…I mean you're technically only…"

"And Dad's a good few billion years old than you." Alfie pointed out smugly. "You're practically a baby compared to him."

"Touché." Sam conceded with a laugh. "And gross. I do not need to be thinking that. - So what was her name?"

"Melissa. - I met her the first day of freshman year but we didn't start dating for almost three months."

"What happened?"

Alfie looked at him like he was crazy. "I vanished. - Now I'm here."

"Right. Sorry."

Alfie gave a quick shrug. "It wasn't like I was planning to marry her or anything, we were just dating."

"Still."

"What about you?"

Sam stared down at his hands, a strange sense of guilt rolling over him. "Huh…There was…someone but that's over now. - It was never going to work."

Alfie frowned at him. "Why?"

"You know what this life is, it wouldn't be fair to bring someone into this." Sam shrugged.

"Dinner will be ready in five, you guys better get cleaned up." Katherine called from the kitchen; causing them both to jump.

Alfie laughed, getting to his feet. "Come on, I'll show you to the bathroom.

Sam closed the yearbook and placed it on the couch before following after his son.

~~~There Are No Lies, Only Truths No Yet Told~~~

Dinner passed with an easy atmosphere and light conversation. Sam avoided any mention of his work or Alfie's missing couple of years, instead asking questions about his son's childhood and Katherine's work. She regaled him with stories of Alfie's first word, which had apparently been Dada. His first step, which had been Gabriel's proudest day on earth. How he'd grown quicker them normal children. - Obviously. - And how that had made living in her small New York apartment more difficult.

While they didn't talk about hunting they couldn't avoid all mention of it, especially concerning Gabriel. Each time it happened Sam felt a tightness in his chest. Despite the discomfort and pain it was nice hearing tales of the archangel's relationship with their son. He only wished he'd been there to see it.

After dinner Sam helped Alfie with the dishes, their conversation focusing on more social topics like sport, politics, films and music. It was almost eleven when Sam started to make his farewells.

"When are you leaving town?" Alfie asked at the door.

"I need to be back before Dean, so tomorrow some time. - Why?"

Alfie nodded, scuffing the toe of his sneaker on the stoop. "There's a…. high school football game tomorrow, I just thought maybe we could catch it." he asked nervously.

Sam had very few memories of father/son time with his dad and what he did have were pretty much centred on hunting in one form or another. All his early fun memories were shared with Dean or Bobby. Even when he'd joined the soccer team back in middle school, his dad had been too focused on some creature to even make it to a game, Dean had been his only cheerleader. He sworn to himself he'd never be like that. He'd always have time for his kid. "Sounds good." Sam smiled. "I can pick you up. What time?"

"Kick off's at four. - You could come for Sunday lunch and we could head over after." Alfie said trying to hide his smile, and failing.

Sam's heart leapt at the sight, his chest warming. "I'll be here a one, okay?"

"Great. See ya then."

Sam hovered on the threshold for a long moment before forcing himself to leave, heading back to the car he constantly glanced back over his shoulder.

~~~There Are No Lies, Only Truths No Yet Told~~~

He had a son. Despite it being almost forty-eight hours since he'd discovered the truth, Sam was still having trouble digesting it. It was just so unreal. He had a son the past five years. His and Gabriel's son. Sam threw back another glass of Jack, his mind buzzing loudly. He wasn't sure if what he was feeling concerning Gabriel was anger or regret. Setting the empty glass down on the nightstand, Sam fell back into the pillow, his eyes drifting shut. His mind travelling back to that last night with Gabriel, wishing the angel had told him they'd had a son before he'd died.

Sam couldn't help but wonder if he'd have left the archangel quiet so easily had he known. Would he have dragged Gabriel away as they'd done to Kali?

He was still questioning himself as sleep pulled him into her warm embrace.

Sam stood in the middle of the stylish motel room, staring down at Gabriel. The archangel's soft amber eyes never leaving his. He was so close he could almost touch him. He wanted to touch him. "Why are you really here?" he whispered, conscious of Dean only a few feet away.

"I told you, I'm here to pull your asses out of the fire."

Sam stared at him intently, taking a small step forward. "Why?"

Gabriel didn't answer, he just watched Sam watch him. Sam took another step, then another, until there was only an hairbreadth between them. "Tell me, Gabriel."

"Because we have a son." the archangel whispered.

Sam's face split with an overjoyed smile, reaching out he pulled the archangel to him, his fingers wrapping tight in the folds of the man's jacket, his mouth descending, taking Gabriel in a fierce hungry kiss. His hands lifting to cradle Gabriel's face between his large palms. The archangel's fingers combing through Sam's over long hair.

Finally Sam drew back still smile; his thumb rubbing at the shorter man's jaw.

"Look after him Sam." Gabriel said brokenly; taking a step back.

"You're coming with us." Sam demanded; his eyes scanning the empty dining room, the upturned tables, the gaping door. "We'll look after him together. Gabriel!" he yelled as the archangel took another step away. "Gabe? Gabriel!"

Sam flinched as bright light filled his vision, a loud cry of agony ringing in his ears.

Sam shot up breathless in bed, the sheets tangled around his legs, his t-shirt damp with sweat. His head hurt; pounding within his skull. It had been over a year since he'd last had a nightmare of Gabriel's death, while he hadn't actually been witness to it, he'd seen enough angels killed to create the moment in his mind and every time it left him cold and sick to his stomach, bone-weary and lost.

Closing his eyes once more Sam inhaled, trying to fight the waves of nausea. It took ten minutes of deep breaths before he felt able to open them again and face the world. Glancing at the clock he groaned. 11:40am, Alfie and Katherine were expecting him for lunch.

Throwing back the covers, Sam climbed out of the bed and marching to the bathroom. He wasn't going to let Alfie down, no matter how crappy he felt. It was their last day together for a while and he was determined to make the most of it.

~~~There Are No Lies, Only Truths No Yet Told~~~

It was strange standing on the bleachers shoulder to shoulder with his adult looking son, watching his hometown high school football team. It was surreal in a way nothing else in his life had ever been. - And stranger yet it felt natural. Normal. He'd gone to games in Kermit with Amelia, they'd had fun cheering, being just like everyone else, but there had always been something missing, a hole she couldn't fill. At the time he'd put it down to the grief of losing Dean. Then Dean had returned and the hole remained, so he'd told himself it was there because he'd walked away from Amelia, from his change of normality.

Now through, standing in the cool sunlight of a Sunday afternoon, that hole in his soul felt just a little bit smaller. A lot less painful.

He glanced at Alfie as he cheered along with everyone else and a smile slowly spread across his face, his heart swelling with emotion, with a soul deep connection he'd never felt in his life. Not with his Dad, Dean or Jessica. Then he felt tears prickling at the back of his eyes, Gabriel should be there, side by side with them, enjoying this normal day. When Alfie turned to meet his gaze, a look of understanding in his blue eyes, Sam knew he felt it too.

The game ended with a defeat for Lawrence but Sam wasn't wholly disappointed and neither was Alfie from the look on his face. It was obvious that while his son had enjoyed the game, it had merely been an excuse to spent time together. They walked back across the field to the parking lot, talking casually about the game.

When they reached the rental car, Sam turned; his hands buried awkwardly in his pockets. They stood in an uncomfortable silence until Sam cleared his throat and pulled out the keys. "Well I…" he glanced up at the darkened sky. "…should really be heading back, if I'm not there when Dean gest back he'll ask a billion questions."

Alfie nodded. "Thank you." he murmured softly.

"For what?" Sam frowned.

"Finding me." Alfie choked out. "For coming to tell Katherine, when you thought…"

Sam stepped forward almost on instinct, like a violent pull in his chest and dragged Alfie into an unexpected embrace, the both of them unsure and awkward for a few seconds before the bond of blood wiped all doubts away. Sam squeezed his son tightly, Alfie's arms clinging to the back of his jacket. Tears burning in both their eyes.

"I'm so glad you're alive." Sam whispered brokenly; his face pressed into his son's neck, not caring what anyone around them might think. Despite all their issues it was never said the Winchesters didn't know how show affection. - At least in part. At least towards family.

Pulling back finally Sam swiped at the tears on his cheeks with hid arm, Alfie following suit. "You have my number and email, I'll keep in touch as often as I can." he promised; his voice thick with emotion.

Alfie nodded; keeping silent.

"If you need anything, call. - Watch yourself and Katherine." Sam pulled open the car door while Alfie continued to nod, mutely. "Do you need a ride home?" he asked as an afterthought.

"No. I'll be fine."

The pair stared at each other once more, Sam's fingers tight on the open car door. He didn't want to go. Didn't want to leave his son. However, he had a job to do, an important job and Alfie understood that. "I'll call you later." he promised sadly, taking another intense look at his son, he finally climbed reluctantly behind the wheel. Alfie pushed the door close and stepped back; waving through the window as Sam stared the engine.

Taking a deep painful breath he pulled away from the grassy curb, his eyes flickering between the road ahead and the rear-view until he lost all sight of Alfie. With that he just tightened his jaw, swallowed convulsively at the pain in his chest and drove back to Lebanon.

A/N: I added another dream sequence with Gabriel because it's my way of keeping Gabriel alive in the story. Gone but not forgotten. The scene is a reworking of the scene from Unrequited Sabriel: Masquerade.

If you think Samandriel/Alfie is out of character, you have to remember he was brainwashed by heaven. The Samandriel we met in the show was the one out of character, this is the real Samandriel/Alfie.

I was originally going to have Claire Novak be at the game but while writing it up I decided that was maybe a bit too much. Missouri getting a call from beyond that brings Sam back to Lawrence where his son is living in his grandparent's old house, that's one thing, it's slightly plausible but Claire being in Lawrence, nah, I just can't defend that, even to myself. So that got cut. - And I'm thankful I did as I just found out she's back in season 10 and that would have just landed me with problems. I am however hoping that her return in 10 will give me a change to bring her and Samandriel/Alfie together because I have a bit of a would-be-ship concerning those to.