Chapter 3

Planning and fallow through

A/N concerning the last chapter yes Alpha's and Omega's can be females, at least in my version. AND angsty drama in this chapter along with POV switch. I was trying to right it all John but I found I was getting stuck on this chapter, then I had an epiphany while at work and it just took me a while to get around to writing it.

It took john two weeks to actually leave Sarah, they had gone out a couple more times but he felt awkward around her not quite as at easy with her like he was before. He felt confused especially after the conversation with the therapist, he couldn't figure out his own sexuality, there was also the fact that every time he was out with her he kept wondering about Sherlock and how he was doing. If he had gotten any new cases or if he was hurt.

The brake up had been more mutual than he thought it would be, but when he had approached her after the clinic closed, "Sarah wait up," he called after her as she headed out to the car park. "John," she greeted smiling. "Sarah, this is odd but,um, its just that I don't think we should go out anymore," he rubbed the back of his neck waiting for her to get angry or cry or something. instead she gave him a relieved smile, "thank god," she said. Startled John narrowed his eyes at her. "I was afraid I was going to have to do the break up," she said, "things have been awkward the past couple of dates and I figured it was a mutual thing, so I was going to tell you this weekend but it seems you beat me to it." John nodded not sure how to respond, "so friends?" he asked, "of course," she said before pulling him into a brief hug and kissing his cheek. He stood there as she walked away and eventually made his way back to the flat. He decided to walk instead of taking the tube, which aloud him time to get over the rather odd breakup and also think about how he was going to act around Sherlock.

He decided that with Sherlock he would take things a bit at a time, touching him more, paying some of the tabs at the restaurants they went to and maybe some minor gifts. He was passing a book store, speaking of gifts.

He quickly went into the shop and looked at the anatomy and chemistry books. Sherlock had said something a few days earlier about a book he had wanted to get that had, descriptions of organs and how they reacted to chemicals added to them after death. He found the book shoved between two thick hard backs. He pulled it out an quickly checked the price and smiled, he had enough cash on him to buy it. He paid and left wrapping the bag tightly around the book to protect it from the rain that had started.

He arrived at the flat fifteen minutes later damp from the rain and in oddly good spirits. "Break up with Sarah then?" was the first thing that Sherlock said in greeting, "how did you?" john asked before he could think twice. "Its obvious, you walked instead of taking the tube which means that something happened you wanted to think about, and the package under your arm, most likely you bought it for yourself to make you feel better, you've been at the clinic all day the only one you know there of any significances is Sarah, so break up," Sherlock said in a tone of utter boredom. John smiled and shook his head, "you're right we did break up, it wasn't working, I realized that I like someone else, bit your wrong about one thing." Sherlock's head snapped up "what was I wrong about?" he asked in disbelief. "the thing I bought it's not for me its for you," john said handing the still plastic covered book to the taller man. Curious Sherlock took the bag off and stared at the book, his eyes bright, "where did you find it?" he asked in awe. "A mom and pop bookstore a few blocks from here," john said, feeling giddy at Sherlock's reaction of delight. "It was band two weeks after it came out, I've looked everywhere for it," Sherlock said running his hands lovingly over the cover, plane blue with an anatomical figure on the front holding test tubes, it didn't have a title or an Author on the cover, but Sherlock had described it well enough.

"Thank you very much," Sherlock said, a light blush on pail cheeks. John felt pride swell in his chest, he had made Sherlock blush. "your welcome," john responded smiling. "What takeaway do you want?" he asked looking over the collections of menu's they had accumulated. "Thai, you pick the curry," Sherlock answered still petting the books cover. John smiled harder and picked up the phone calling a curry place. He ordered a single serving of green curry knowing full well Sherlock wouldn't eat a full meal till he had read and reread the book. The est of the night and next two days where fairly quiet as Sherlock read his new book over and over.

Over the course of a week, John got into the routine of gently touching Sherlock as he passed, a hand on the Shoulder or placing his hand in the small of Sherlock's back when they were walking. He even stopped saying "I'm not gay," when people commented on the oddity of his and the detectives relationship.

Finally John felt right about taking Sherlock on a 'date'. They had just finished a long case and John in the guise of celebrating another successful case had them go to a posh restaurant. Sherlock looked around as they where guided through the romantic dinning area to a secluded table for two. "I don't think anyone owes me favors here," Sherlock said. "that's fine," john responded waving it off, he had looked up the prices for the restaurant the day before and as long as neither of them order the most expensive thing he could afford it. They talked as over drinks and the meal, stake for John, pasta for Sherlock, john was pleased with how the night went. They even held hands on the journey back.

SH

Sherlock was worried, something had happened to John. For the past three months, John had been taking him to dinners and getting him gifts, he'd been touching Sherlock in gentle ways. Like hold his hand, or guide Sherlock with a hand on his back. At first Sherlock thought John was dieing but, he always seemed perfectly healthy. However what really bothered Sherlock was not John's behavior to him, but Sherlock's reaction to John's behavior towards him. Every time john touched him Sherlock wanted to lean into the touch, every time John got him a gift he cherished it. case in point, Sherlock now slept with a stuffed monkey that John had gotten him randomly. Sherlock though sure it was a joke couldn't bare to part with it. Three months of dinners and walks at night, hand holding and gifts had Sherlock feel like he was reeling. He wasn't sure where he stood with his flatmate, and what was worse was he wasn't sure he wanted to know, he was afraid it would end.

Sherlock however felt bad, John looked like he was enjoying what he did for him, but to Sherlock it felt like he was using John. John treated him like one of his girlfriends and Sherlock reveled in it. However he knew John didn't like him like that, couldn't like him like that. But Sherlock couldn't let it end so he held his tongue. For three long months he held his silence waiting for John to realize what he was doing and stop.

Sherlock sat on the couch laptop on his lap when John came bursting into the room. Sherlock looked up at him eye's quickly cataloging everything. Excitement, nicer clothes than usual, clean shaven, conclusion 'date, important date, probably with the girl he met at the bar last week.' before he could open his mouth to tell John though John had bounded over to him, "Sherlock get dressed, I've got a big surprise for you." Sherlock silently cursed, wrong again how had been so wrong lately. He got dressed stripping out of his pajamas and dressing gown, and judging by John's clothes dressed himself accordingly. Black trousers the blue shirt that john had gotten him that actually fit more comfortably and was a size bigger than what Sherlock usually bought. He pulled on a suit jacket that matched the trousers and put on a pare of shoes.

Dressed he went back into the living area to see John holding his violin case, "John?" he asked. "about two weeks ago you said you had never preformed in a real music hall, so I got in touch with a guy who owed me a favor that works as an even coordinator in the Bartholomew music hall, I know its not very big and there wont be an audience but," john answered holding up the violin case blushing a bright red. Sherlock stared for a moment before he slowly moved forward and grasped the handle of his violin case, "thank you," he whispered, he paused and thought, this right here was to much, he didn't know what john was doing but if he didn't ask he might never get his feet under him, john kept knocking him down, metaphorically, with the big things he did for Sherlock. "John I," he started but was cut off as john grabbed his hand and almost dragged him out of the flat. "we don't have a lot of time," john said as he hailed a taxi and they climbed in. John gave the cabbie the address. The ten minute ride was met with Sherlock's thoughts in turmoil as he stared dazed at his violin case. John on the other hand as a bouncing ball of nerves, Sherlock noticed absently. The cabbie pulled up at the back entrance to the music hall and John paid as they got out. They went in through the performers entrance and onto back stage. Sherlock almost on autopilot tuned his Stradivarius he had just finished tuning when the heavy velvet curtains where drawn back. he was blinded by the stage lights and had to blink to clear the watering away. He quickly ran through his head what would sound the best in a proper place. Slowly he placed the freshly rosined bow against the violin cords and drew a note. It echoed long in the chamber, for a moment Sherlock reveled in it eyes closed. Then he began to play in earnest. It was a difficult peace that took nearly fifteen minutes to play through, it had highs and lows fast sections and slow sections. He knew the piece by heart, it was the piece he was going to play to enter into a music academy, but he never got the chance he went into his first heat on the week of his audition, and because he didn't show his slot was given to somebody else. He played it through to the end adding his own personalized flare to finish off.

For several heart beats the last notes hung in the air, then the sound of a thunderous applaud rang out. Sherlock blinked still blinded by the bright stage lights the audience sounded full, very full. Eventually the stage lights dimmed enough so that Sherlock could see that indeed ever seat in the house was full and they were standing. Sherlock took a bow and straightened his eyes connected with John in the front along with people he knew from the MET and some in his homeless network plus his brother and Molly. Sherlock bowed again and quietly left the stage. A minute later John was next to him beaming, "you where amazing, I knew you where good but that, that was better than anything I had heard before." Sherlock felt himself heat up at the praise. As he cleaned his instrument and put it away. "where did they all come from?" he asked John, "from all over, there your fans from my blog and their friends, and people you've helped." Sherlock nodded mutely, "John I need to ask you something," Sherlock said, uncertain. "Sure but can I wait till after we grab take away?" John asked as he held the back door open for Sherlock, he nodded.

Once back at baker street Thai curry in hand Sherlock and John sat down to eat, twilight had descended the flat. Sherlock looked over at the calendar he used to keep track of his heats he felt his heart stop in week he would spend nearly four days, desperate for sex. Sherlock didn't think he could go through that again, not with John, Sherlock knew he loved John but it was impossible for John to love him. Sherlock lost his apatite and pushed his food away. "you wanted to ask me something?" John asked after finishing his own meal. "never mind," Sherlock said standing to dump his uneaten food in the trash and leave. John reached out before he could really move away and grabbed Sherlock's hand. Sherlock stopped and stared at their hands. "why?" he asked softly. "Why what?" John replied confused.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you treating me like this? You barely even tolerate me as a friend."

John stood and faced Sherlock, "you are so much more than a friend to me Sherlock, I love you."

Sherlock stared at John for a good long moment before he felt a disbelieving and slightly hysterical laugh bubble up and spill out. "Sherlock?" John asked worried, "are you all right." Sherlock shook his head, still chuckling. "Nice try, did Mycroft put you up to this?" Sherlock snarled any trace of laugh gone from his voice. John looked stunned "what? No! Sherlock I'm being serious, I'm in love with you." john reached up to touch his face Sherlock in anger smacked his hand away, "you are a bad liar Dr. Watson," he snapped. He glared down at John watching the Doctor's emotions flicker on his face. Dancing between anger shock and hurt, deep hurt. After a full minute John settled on hurt. Sherlock studied the hurt, it was the kind of hurt that Sherlock wouldn't see if John wasn't telling the truth. John turned heel and marched out slamming the door shut behind him. The whole time Sherlock watched his retreating back he wanted to reach out and stop John wanted to call him back, to get on his knees and apologizes. He wanted his John, but when he heard the second door down the stairs close it was to late. Sherlock sank to his knee's in the middle of the living room and buried his face in his hands.

He lost John.

JW

John stormed away from 221B both parts angry and hurt. It took him a block and a half to stop and ask himself why was he hurt. He shouldn't really be hurt by what Sherlock said, it was true, wasn't it? Then why was he hurt, why did he feel like his heart just got crushed? He ran through the events of the past four months looking for an event that could have triggered it. What he came to instead was his reactions to Sherlock's reaction to what he did. He felt pleased when he made Sherlock blush or happy, he enjoyed taking Sherlock on dates, secret as they were. He couldn't get enough of touching him. The constant thinking about Sherlock when John wasn't near, even before he broke up with Sarah. John stopped walking and slumped against an alley wall when it finally dawned on him. He was in love with Sherlock and had been for a long time, since John had met him most likely.

John stayed leaning against the wall for a good few minutes when his phone rang. He dug in his pants pocket and checked the number, he was startle when it read 'Sherlock' Sherlock never called, he always text. He answered on the third ring "Sherlock?" he asked not sure if he wanted to talk to him right then his revelation so close. "John," the deep voice on the other end wavered, "I'm sorry, come home, please?" "I'll be right there," he said "give me ten minutes to walk back." John disconnected, and turned around.

When he arrived at the flat he found Sherlock sitting on the floor gray eyes bright and tear tracks down his cheeks. John knelt down in front of Sherlock and pulled him in to an embrace. "I love you," he muttered into Sherlock's ear tightening his grip around the thin shaking man.

A/N: I know, its a long chapter but it was necessary, I mean come on I was trying to answer like toughest question question ever and I still don't think I did it right. However if I had gone on to try and answer it right this chapter would have been 8,000 words instead of nearly 3,000. so there you have it, also the peice Sherlock plays is Mozart violin sonata number 18.

review please I swear its not hard.

P.S. Thank you to the two that did review I rote this for you :D