Two supersoldiers, a flying man, and a spysassin walk into a bar – oh wait, sorry, wrong joke.
(or, anything's a joke au if you try hard enough. anything.)
#1:
how to get rickrolled in russian
It goes something like this: Kazuha doing the grand favour of updating the guys about all the good food they've been missing out on worldwide (by virtue of being stuck in an icecube and Japan respectively) over a late takoyaki lunch.
(Honestly. Cap she can understand, since the future's probably foreign enough of a country to begin with, and SHIELD had kept him busy enough with ops – Kazuha would know, she'd been with him for two-thirds of them – but what's Heiji's excuse?
And after they'd basically gone on a mini world tour looking for the Soldier, too. What a waste, jeez.)
Ran had started out quietly listening, but Kazuha's totally pretending not to notice how she's warming up to the topic and contributing every now and then, switching to English and back whenever she can't find the words.
Super mission success, Kazuha decides, as she proceeds to expound on the best eateries in Moscow.
"There was that..." Ran begins haltingly, and frowns a little in the way she does when she's trying to recall something fuzzy. "Cabbage roll? With stuffing inside?"
"Oh, golubtsy!" Kazuha grins. "Ya should try the one near the Kremlin, it's got crayfish inside – "
"How– wh–" Heiji splutters at the same time. "Why do you speak Russian."
There's a moment of complete silence.
"Don't be a birdbrain, Falcon," says the Black Widow, voice dry as a Siberian winter. "I'm a superspy, of course I speak Russian."
Across the table, the Winter Soldier raises an arm – the metal one – and Kazuha fistbumps her without even looking.
"Я очень рад," chimes in the good Captain from beside her, and Heiji's head hits the table with an audible thunk.
Kazuha grins, triumphant, and reaches over to steal the last takoyaki from his plate.
("I remember when I used to be the most badass person around," Heiji laments to the tabletop.
"Really?" Kazuha says, voice wholly unsympathetic. "'Cause I'm older than ya, Heiji, and unless ya were around during the 1940s – ")
.
(Cap does not know Russian, though if the SHIELD scientists' theories about the serum effects are correct he'd probably have a easier time learning than most everyone else.
Kudo Shinichi, however, does know two certain someones who are more than willing to teach him a phrase or two just to mess with people.
Or specifically Hattori Heiji, in this particular situation.
Whatever. Kazuha thinks it's pretty worth the effort, overall.)