Disclaimer: Rocky and Bullwinkle are owned by Jay Ward Productions.
Hoods in the Woods or The Forest Dangers
Narrator: When we last left our heroes, their car was crushed by a tree, and they hiked to Frostbite Falls National Park. Upon reaching the park, they are greeted by a fishy forest ranger.
"Forest Ranger" (Boris): Hello, I am the park warden. Welcome to Frostbite Falls National Park! As you can see, it is open to visitors who want to go camping at the campsite.
Rocky: But what about the note right next to you?
Boris sees a piece of paper taped to the gate of the entrance, and it says that the park is closed. He hurriedly grabs the note and swallows it.
Ranger: What note?
Rocky: The one you just swallowed.
Ranger: Oh, that note! That was nothing, it didn't say the park was closed for renovations or anything like that. Anyway, I will show you where the cabins are.
Narrator: While our adventurous duo follow the ranger, Rocky becomes increasingly suspicious.
Rocky: *whispering* Bullwinkle, I think he's lying to us.
Bullwinkle: You're always worried or suspicious, Rocky. Why can't you accept that he is a nice, honest forest ranger who just so happens to look like Boris Badenov? We met a lot of people who look like Boris and they weren't him, right?
Rocky: Actually, they were all Boris Badenov.
Bullwinkle: Well, there's a first time for everything.
Rocky: You said that earlier.
Bullwinkle: I know, the writers must be running out of ideas.
Narrator: They walk around for a while, and notice that they're moving deeper and deeper into the woods.
Rocky: Mr. Ranger, are you sure this is where the cabins are?
Ranger: Of course! Now if you just follow me into this isolated secluded area, I will show you your cabin. Heheheh...
Narrator: Meanwhile, in Pottsylvania, Fearless Leader is still in Central Control, and he is waiting for the results of his "invention" from Boris and Natasha.
Fearless Leader: Where are those idiots? I should look for them myself, that way I don't have to just sit here waiting. It gets lonely when I can't threaten or yell at them. And if they fail to capture Moose and Squirrel, I can fire them!
Narrator: The boss sets off to look for his henchmen. He drives the Powitzer, a prototype of a new Potsylvanian tank. Yes, a tank.
Fearless Leader: This tank has a built-in GPS device! I should have no problem with finding Boris and Natasha.
Narrator: Fearless Leader, can I ask you a question?
Fearless Leader: Sure, what is it?
Narrator: If you have a huge, powerful tank on your hands, why didn't you just give it to Boris and Natasha? I mean, wouldn't that make more sense than giving them a trap that's just a hole? Personally, I think you made a mistake.
Fearless: I am Fearless Leader! I don't make mistakes.
Narrator: Yeah, sure... *mumbles* psycho.
Fearless Leader: What did you just call me?!?
Narrator: Uh, nothing.
Fearless Leader: I heard that, you called me a psycho. Because of that, after I blast Moose and Squirrel, you're next! Anyway, I will use the GPS to locate Frostbite Falls.
He tries to turn it on, but it does not work. He then sees a note.
Fearless Leader: "Dear Fearless Leader, we were going to install the GPS device, but our lab is under budget and we are on vacation. Sorry for the inconvenience. Signed, the scientists and researchers".
Fearless Leader: Dang it! I will have to use a map to find Frostbite Falls. Now, where did I put that map?
Narrator: After he finds the map on the back of the note, he drives to Frostbite Falls. He sees two men sitting on a bench.
Fearless Leader: Have you seen Moose and Squirrel?
Edgar: Chauncey, there's a weird guy driving a tank down the road!
Chauncey: Now there is something you don't see everyday, Edgar.
Edgar: Wasn't I supposed to say that?
Chauncey: I don't know, I thought I always answered with the catchphrase.
Edgar: No, I'm pretty sure you would remark about something, and I would answer with that remark.
Chauncey: Really? But I was sure it was the other way around.
Edgar: Maybe we both say the catchphrase?
Fearless Leader: I don't give a dang about who says what, just tell me if you have seen Moose and Squirrel!
Chauncey: Yeah, we saw a moose and squirrel.
Fearless Leader: That's exactly what I am looking for! Where did you see them?
Edgar: They were in a park in Frostbite Falls, but I don't remember what it's called.
Chauncey: It's Frostbite Falls National Park.
Edgar: Oh, that's what it's called. Anyway, we saw a moose and a squirrel there.
Chauncey: Actually, we saw more than one moose, and a lot of squirrels. It's a nice park, but it's not open today.
Edgar: But our neighbours Rocky and Bullwinkle said they were going camping in that area.
Fearless Leader: Wait a minute, Rocky and Bullwinkle are your neighbours? Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
Chauncey: We thought you were looking for wildlife or something.
Edgar: If you said their names, we might have actually told you where they are.
Fearless Leader: Bah! You two are no help at all. After I blast Moose and Squirrel, and the Narrator, and possibly Boris, you two are next!
Chauncey: Edgar, the guy in the tank wants to shoot us!
Edgar: Now there is something you... wait, do I say it, or you?
Fearless Leader: Screw waiting.
The tank doesn't work. He finds another note from the scientists and researchers, saying that they did not finish working on the tank.
Fearless Leader: I can't shoot with this thing?!? Oh well, I'll go to the park and help my spies get Moose and Squirrel.
Chauncey: That was close, Edgar. We were almost shot at.
Edgar: Now that's something you don't-
He immediately drives away from Chauncey and Edgar.
Narrator: Boris, poorly disguised as a forest ranger, takes Rocky and Bullwinkle to a secluded area, where they meet another phoney park official.
"Park Manager" (Natasha): Hello, I am the manager of Frostbite Falls National Park.
Rocky: Ms. park manager, where are the cabins?
Manager: You can find them at the end of that forest trail, which has no traps whatsoever.
Boris: And there isn't a dangerous swamp either.
Bullwinkle: Oh boy Rocky! We're going on a nature hike!
Rocky: I don't know, Bullwinkle, that trail seems dangerous.
Bullwinkle: Well that huge thing behind that tree seems dangerous, and I'm not complaining.
Narrator: They see a huge figure behind a group of trees, and it is getting closer. Who or what could this shadowy figure be? Could it be a cougar, a bear, Fearless Leader in his tank, or even Mr. Big? Stay tuned for, "It Came from the Trees" or "Watch out for Bears" for a very obvious answer.