After Death Relationship

Draco Malfoy did not feel comfortable walking into the crowded lower rooms of the Phoenix headquarters, of course he didn't let it show, he never let his emotions show, at least not since he became a spy. He couldn't afford to, and not because his life had been on the line, but because his heart was. Yes, unlike his Godfather, he was not in denial of his emotions, he knew quite well what they were, but after everything that had happened before and during the war, his only shot of surviving with his heart even slightly intact was to hide, hide, hide his emotions. Because just like his Godfather, he had fallen in love with a Gryffindor, the same one who had fired called him not twenty minutes ago to inform him that his dear Godfather was pissed drunk and scaring the shit out of the rest of the order.

He knew he shouldn't have shown how fucking scared he was at the thought of losing his Godfather. The man was doing everything in his power to give Draco an aneurism. It wasn't even three days ago he had gotten hit with a green hex in the chest when a few still loyal supporters of the dead dark lord tried to get to the man who had killed their leader, only to be intercepted with a few members of the order who had gotten tipped off just in time. Everyone had thought Severus was dead, especially when that damn werewolf let out a howl of agony before running to the fallen Potions Master and appating away. Draco, who had been there to see the horrifying show, had lost it a bit and used some spell that might have gotten him in serious trouble if people hadn't been so shock the emotion on his face to realize how dark his spells were. Draco still hadn't forgiven his Godfather for making him cry in front of the one person he had decided he needed to avoid and hide his emotions from.

If Severus hadn't made him think he was dead, he wouldn't have shown his emotions and people wouldn't have realized that yes Severus was the closest thing to a father Draco had, because really Lucius, the bastard who tried to kill him and succeeded in killing his mother, did not count. If everyone hadn't realized that Draco might actually have a heart somewhere under the ice prince exterior, than no one would have thought to call him when his Godfather got drunk. So he was a little pissed when he came over to the bar Severus was slumped over, nursing an almost empty fairly large bottle of the strongest drink in the house. Draco really wanted to slap his Godfather, that is till he got a good look at the man's face, his tearstained face.

Draco cursed his godfather silently for making all of his anger evaporate before calmly having a seat at the bar next to him and asking, "Severus, are you trying to give everyone a heart attack?"

Severus looked up at him with eyes that would put a sad puppy to shame, even if they were a little glazed over from all that liquor. Severus tilted the bottle back and finished the last of it off before asking in a voice Draco hadn't herd in a long time, one filled with emotion, "Do you think I deserve affection?"

Draco frowned and said, "Severus, you're smart, the smartest person I know. You're an absolute genius when it comes to potions, surly that warrants some affection."

Severus looked at his Godson and slurred, "You're just like your father, beautiful and cunning."

Draco tried not to let it show how much those words hurt him, and as he hefted his Godfather up off where he had landed on the bar in his drunken stupor, he said, "I always thought I was more like you Uncle Severus, terribly cruel to the people I might care about because I'm afraid of getting hurt."

Severus sighed and said, "Jealous too, we hurt people when we're jealous too."

Draco snorted as he started to haul his Godfather up the stairs that led to the bedrooms, ignoring the few people standing about, gawking. He really couldn't blame them, it was strange to see his Godfather piss drunk. About half-way up the stairs Severus said, "Dragon, have you found someone as beautiful as you to love?"

Draco decided that enough was enough, if he was going to have to deal with a pissed Potion Master then he wanted some answers, "What the hell happened? Why would you drink yourself into such a state?"

Severus groaned and said, "I don't know what happened, that's exactly the problem. I haven't changed a bit, so why would he want me now, when no one has ever wanted me before? Just thinking about it makes my head hurt, although that might be the booze talking."

Draco sighed and glared at the gathering on lookers till they backed off a little bit, then he had a seat next to his godfather on the stairs and said, "Wasn't it you who said last time you got this pissed, to 'keep away from Gryffindors because they aren't rational, they don't make sense and they'll steal your heart and without even realizing they have it, tear it to shreds.' I didn't heed your advice, and like always, discovered that you were completely right. You shouldn't try to make sense of them, because they just don't make sense, not to people like us, who spend so much time hiding how we feel that we sometimes can't even recognize what emotions are."

Severus sighed and said, "To bad we didn't follow your father's advice."

Draco let out a small chuckle and put his hand out to help his godfather up as he said, "Severus, you were already in love with a Gryffindor and I never listened to my father's advice, we just need to accept the fact that it's a hopeless cause."

Severus took his hand and as he helped him to his feet, said, "Think we should try it the Gryffindor way and just show 'um how we feel?"

Draco laughed, a full belly chuckle, as he pulled Severus up the last of the stairs and down the hall and said, "I think we might scare the piss out of people if we actually showed emotion, they'd think we were plotting, trust me Severus, showing any emotion at all, on our parts, just leads to twice as much trouble, now I'm going to lay you on your side, try not to throw up on the clean sheets."

With that Draco wiped his hands off on his trousers and left his now snoring godfather to find that damn Potter and ask him why he couldn't have just hauled the man up the stairs to his room himself, instead of fire calling him in the middle of the night. He'd have to tell him that he was here because it was the proper thing to do, not because he cared. He needed to stop letting that stupid Gryffindor see his emotions, because his heart just couldn't take it.

When he saw Potter a ways behind the bar, he forced himself to find things he could insult him for, it was getting harder and harder to do, what with him loosing the baggy clothes and the crappy glasses. Now Draco had to resort to calling him petty names like stupid and inconsiderate, because he really couldn't find anything ells mean to say, but he had to say something mean. He was actually rather proud of himself for having made the insults sound so venomous that it might actually make up for how pathetic they really were. He was just beginning to think he had done enough to erase the memory of his tear stained face from Potter's memory, when suddenly Potter smiled, at him and Draco had to take a step back because his poor heart couldn't stand being that close to such a beautiful smile. Then Potter said, "Careful there Draco, if your that mean to me people might start to think you actually care."