When she finally woke up, the early morning sun was shining through the window and a warm, solid body was pressed against her back, an arm snug around her waist. It took her a minute to recall what had happened, and even that was foggy. Turning her head she saw Brody fast asleep a smile gracing his face. She had to admit, this was kind of nice. And at the very least, she now knew that he doesn't completely hate her.
She lay still, enjoying the warmth and comfort, feeling truly rested for the first time in over a week. Plus she didn't have the heart to disturb him. She dosed in and out of sleep for another hour or two before she felt subtle shifts in the bed signaling that Brody was awake. This was the hard part; she honestly didn't know what to say to him. She turned gently so that she was facing him, his arm still draped over her hip and stomach.
"Hi," she whispered. She felt his arm tighten around her as he pulled her into a hug.
"God Rach….you had me so scared. Between the way you were walking last night and the fact that 5 minutes after you laid down, you were shaking and crying in your sleep. I didn't know what was going on." He held her tight and showed no signs of wanting to let her go. She snuggled into his embrace, not sure how to explain the recent events. "Talk to me sweetie," he begged his voice still hoarse from sleep.
"I haven't really slept all week. So between that and stress from classes I guess I hit my breaking point and was so exhausted I was about to collapse. Honestly I don't remember much from last night," she sighed not knowing whether or not to mention the other reason for the state he found her in last night.
"And? Come on Rach, I know you better than that. If that was all you wouldn't have that look on your face," he gently prodded. He wanted to help her but couldn't if she wouldn't let him in.
"I was scared. I already lost my first love, and my best friend and roommate is never around anymore. He's trying to not think about his breakup by focusing on work. And then….you weren't talking to me. And I know it was probably nothing, but with the timing, it just…hurt," she explained. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and she had no idea why they were there or how to stop them. She was usually so in control of her emotions, but right now it wasn't working.
"Oh Rach…I was just trying to give you some space, I didn't know what had happened with Finn after you left Callbacks. If you were trying to make things work with him I didn't want to get in the way. I saw the way he looked at me after we sang together. He was not a happy guy. If I had known you were having issues, God I'm such an idiot, I should've noticed earlier this week. I'm so so sorry baby," he said. She could see him mentally beating himself up for not being aware of the situation sooner. She placed her hand on his chest.
"It is not your fault; none of this is your fault. I'm the one who is a mess right now and can't handle the breakup that I caused. Well maybe it's not so much the breakup as losing the one steady thing in my life. I didn't tell you this, but we were engaged, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, that he…our relationship would be the one thing that never changed. Then last week happened and that idea was shattered. For good. And I guess I didn't realize how it would feel to be in a new place and single. Everything has changed, and I don't know how to handle it," she explained as calmly as possible.
"One day at a time. That's how you handle it. Use the experience as an artistic motivation, use it to connect to music and theater in a way you couldn't before. And talk to me. I'm always here to listen, no matter what time it is okay," Brody responded. "Now come on, let's get some breakfast, my treat." She smiled and nodded, slowly climbing out of bed and stretching.
"Thank you, by the way," she whispered as she walked past him placing a kiss on his cheek as she headed to the bathroom down the hall.