Day 1 – Night (Continued)

Lois stared at her open window.

She watched the curtains fluttering long after Superman's departure. She found herself frozen in place.

She couldn't think…

Couldn't speak…

Couldn't move.

Stunned at what had just happened did not begin to explain how she felt. She wasn't sure how long she stood there. It was as if her mind and body had shut down, and needed to reboot like a frozen computer.

Tonight was confusing. There was something off about Superman tonight. He seemed distressed with an underlying tension. His speech was different, hesitantly spoken as if every word was cautiously calculated.

She stood up again and paced in her living room as she thought over the events earlier. There was something more there. She was missing something, but what?

Where was the superhero, the one who always had a smile for me?

The one who just a couple of weeks ago had teased me about how special I was because I caught bombs instead of bouquets?

The one who seemed to look directly into my heart?

Tonight, he wasn't here.

Instead, she saw someone who was serious and distant. He seemed tense and uncomfortable. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was in pain. But he was invulnerable. He was troubled as he confessed his fears. Obviously he was vulnerable when it came to matters of the heart. So maybe he was in pain tonight. Not physical, but emotional pain.

Who had dared to hurt him? And how?

They'll have to answer to me!

How dare they cause that wonderful man pain!

Would he tell her? Actually she didn't see any reason why he would confide in her. Not unless he could trust her with his heart. And he couldn't tonight. It was obvious he couldn't trust her with knowing everything about him, so how could he trust her with his heart? She slumped, dropping back onto her loveseat.

She thought about what else he'd said tonight.

He worried about how his enemies might hurt his potential girlfriend, wife or children.

Obviously that was a very real fear he carried with him. How long had worried about that? Before Trask appeared? Probably. It sounded as though he had seriously considered it for some time.

Before tonight Lois had no idea he carried such worries. He never seemed burdened by them before now.

Her perceptions of him seemed wrong. Was she overconfident to think she knew him so well? Then again, tonight was the longest conversation they'd ever had. Even longer than her exclusive interview.

Tonight he never addressed her confession of loving him with or without his superpowers. That seemed to bother him.

Why?

She wondered, 'What'd I say?'

What about that statement made him change the subject rather abruptly?

She thought about exactly what she'd said, "I know you. And I don't mean you the celebrity or you the superhero. If you had no powers, if you were just an ordinary man leading an ordinary life, I'd love you just the same."

And his reply, "Oh, Lois I wish I could. You don't know how much I wish I could believe you. But under the circumstances…" And then he abruptly changed the subject.

What circumstances?

What would make him think she didn't love him as an ordinary man?

One of her professors in college said to look for the simplest explanation to a puzzle. That advice had served her well, and her leaps of logic in investigations often came about after applying that principle.

So what was the simplest explanation here?

The circumstances that would make him not believe I could love the ordinary man living an ordinary life would be…

Oh. My. Gosh.

He must be that ordinary man! It was the only thing that made sense.

Somewhere she must have met him as Ordinary Guy living his ordinary life. Not only had she not recognized him, but also to her chagrin she realized she must have brushed him off. Maybe even in Mad Dog Mode.

No wonder he thought she couldn't love him as Ordinary Guy! He might even think she disliked or hated him.

And he changed the subject because…?

He didn't want to discuss it. Maybe because then she'd know he was also Ordinary Guy.

Why?

Surely he must know how she's always admired him. And she told him tonight she was completely in love with him.

What'd I say?

She told Superman. Not Ordinary Guy.

And that's important because… he thinks of himself as Ordinary Guy?

That can't be right. Why on Earth would Superman, that wonderful man who could do so many things ever think of himself as ordinary? It just didn't make sense. Unless… did he want to be ordinary?

Why? Ordinary is nothing special. Ordinary is what most people are. Most humans.

Lois had spent her life striving to be extraordinary, and Superman was born that way.

Maybe she needed to look at this through his eyes. As the only survivor of his people, he was the lone Kryptonian among billions of humans. How would that make him feel?

Alien? Even alienated?

Isolated?

Different?

But in his case different was great! Didn't he see that? Or maybe he needed someone to remind him of that fact.

Could Superman want to be that Ordinary Guy? He said he was a man, with a man's feelings. Did he want to be human?

To belong... He wanted to belong and be normal?

Then why would he fly around as Superman?

What did he say when she first met him? He was here to help. So Superman was here to help. Firefighters, policemen, first responders all need time to recover from their shifts. And isn't that what he is in many cases? He's a first responder, an unofficial fireman and policeman… and so much more.

So maybe Ordinary Guy lets him recover from rescues and all the horrors he must see on a daily basis. And maybe he liked being Ordinary Guy. Could the Superman suit be a uniform so he could help when needed without exposing himself as Ordinary Guy?

What had I thought before tonight?

That between rescues he just hovered, in the sky looking for the next person to help?

Or maybe was rescuing someone in the world 24 hours a day?

Actually, she realized she'd never thought much about it.

And if he was Ordinary Guy, he probably had a job, friends and maybe a family. Obviously that part of his life he kept under wraps. With good reason, she realized. If anyone suspected, the government, tabloids and public would hound him until they discovered all his secrets. And would indeed use his family and friends to get him to do what they wanted. Or to destroy him, like Trask tried to use Clark, Lois and his parents. To her horror she realized that's what she wanted to do months ago when he first appeared. Use him to uncover his secrets and get her Pulitzer.

Did he know that?

What if Clark told him?

Or maybe he heard her? How far does his super-hearing work anyway?

Something else she didn't know about him.

How she must have hurt him—both of him.

AARGH!

She buried her head in her hands in embarrassment.

She was wallowing. And Lois Lane did not wallow!

What could she do now?

She had to figure this out and make it right…

TBC

Thanks for all the comments. Your support is wonderful. Comments, even just a brief one encourage faster posting of the story.