Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, and my psychiatrist tells me despite what I may think sometimes, I'm not J.K. Rowling
Rated M for sexual content & strong language!
A.N. Okay...theres only one more chapter after this...please please please don't kill me for this...the story got a mind of its own and I just wrote where it took me. So blame my plot bunny, not me! Just keep in mind that there is one moe chapter after this, so...yea.
A.N.: This started off as an idea for a one-shot song fic and it just grew wildly. The main song is "Only One" by Yellowcard. But this chapter has lyrics from "Sorry" by Buckcherry, "Goodbye my Lover" by James Blunt, and "Goodbye Love" from RENT. It's Draco/Harry so obviously it's slash. If you don't like boy on boy action HIT THE BACK BUTTON. This is my first HP fanfiction so please be nice. All flames will be answered publicly. I am not a professional writer so please don't expect me to be. However constructive criticism is always welcomed. I'd like to thank my beta, the lovely shadeshadows Thanks!! Enjoy and Review!
Draco had been lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling for at least 6 hours now and he hadn't moved a muscle. Pansy sighed as she walked back into his room, noticing that he hadn't moved since the last time she'd been there. "Hunny, would you like to come with me to get a bite to eat?" She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge leaning over to stroke Draco's hair the way that he liked it. "Or maybe we could have the elves bring you something up here. Hmm? How does that sound love?"
Draco hadn't even blinked or acknowledged her presence. She would have been worried that he was dead, could she not see his chest gently rising and falling. "Hunny, you haven't eaten anything in two days, I'm really starting to get worried about you." She laid down on the bed next to Draco, propping herself up on one of her elbows while continuing to stroke Draco's hair gently. "Hunny, it's okay. I know that you're hurting, a lot, but you need to eat. You need to keep up your strength, I would hate for you to get called in this state. God only knows what would happen to you." Pansy said, tears filling her eyes.
"And you're my best friend Draco, I don't want anything to happen to you. No matter what, I don't want anything to happen to you." Pansy sighed when she still got no reaction from him and hugged him closely. "I'm going to leave you alone for a little while longer. But when I come back I'm going to force you to eat something, if I have to shove it down your throat. Just…just remember that I love you Draco, and that I would be devastated without you."
Draco rolled over onto his side facing away from her and she took that as her cue to exit. She got up off of the bed and opened the bedroom door, casting one final look back at Draco before shaking her head sadly and heading back to her own room. Maybe she should contact Granger. Potter couldn't be doing much better and maybe she was having better luck with him and would have some ideas on what to do. With a slight glimmer of hope, she promptly turned around and headed off towards the Gryffindor tower.
She finally arrived at the portrait to the entryway and politely knocked before standing back and awaiting someone to answer. She stood there for a minute or two before she looked at the portrait and frowned. She knocked a second time and stood back to wait once again.
"Looking for someone?" Hermoine asked Pansy as she walked up to the portrait of the fat lady.
Pansy jumped slightly, surprise registering on her face for a split second before she composed herself. She smiled slightly and responded, "Yes I am, you as a matter of fact."
"Oh, okay. Well in that case, let me let you in." Hermoine whispered the password and the portrait swung open letting the two girls inside. She directed Pansy to sit down on a couch as she sat down on one right across from her. "What can I help you with Pansy?" She asked, quirking her eyebrow in curiosity.
Pansy frowned, "It's Draco." She said quietly. "I don't…I don't know what to do. I think I need help. And I figured that you couldn't be in a much better situation. And us being the two brightest witches in Hogwarts, I figured if we put our heads together, we could come up with something." She looked at Hermoine hope shining in her eyes.
Hermoine nodded, "Got any ideas?"
And the two girls got to trying to figure out what to do to help their best friends.
Meanwhile Draco lay in his bed still staring at the wall, in the same position that Pansy had left him in. He felt so hollow, so empty inside. He just didn't know what to do. His head told him that he had done the right thing, and this was something that he would have to endure; but his heart told him that he needed to go run straight into Harry's arms and beg for his forgiveness. The internal battle was consuming everything Draco had left after three days straight of no sleep. He couldn't sleep, every time he did beautiful emerald green eyes taunted him. And he just couldn't take that anymore, so not sleeping was a better option.
He was silently contemplating getting up and sneaking into the kitchen, he really could use something to drink, when a glimmer of something caught his eye. He looked at where the glimmer had come from curiously, not seeing it anymore and shrugged it off as his over tired mind playing tricks on him. He went back to his musings when he saw the flash again and quickly turned his head; and he saw it. He climbed out of his bed and walked over to his book shelf, kneeling down so he could reach the bottom shelf easily. He gingerly picked up what the sun had been reflecting off of and walked back to his bed. He sat back down, cross legged, with his trinket sitting in his hands. He closed his eyes and remembered back to when Harry had given it to him.
"I have a present for you." Harry said smiling gently up at his boyfriend.
"Having you is all the present that I need." Draco said shrugging his eyebrows while pulling Harry in for a scorching kiss. When they both decided that air really would be a good thing, they pulled apart, both panting slightly.
Harry chuckled, "Seriously Dray, come on. I have a present for you, close your eyes."
Draco's grin grew and he put his hands out in front of him and closed his eyes.
Harry walked behind him and wrapped his arms around the taller blonde. He placed something in his hands before leaning up and brushing a kiss to Draco's earlobe, whispering, "Happy Birthday love. You can open your eyes now."
Draco opened his eyes and looked down at what was in his hands and scrunched up his face in mock confusion. "Ummm Harry? Why did you get me a cardboard box covered in paper?"
Harry swatted on his arm before rolling his eyes and saying in his ear, "You have to take the paper off of the box, and take the present out of the bloody box prat." He kissed his ear again and hugged him close, as Draco began to unwrap the box.
Draco finally got the string off of the box after grumbling something about stupid ribbon and stupid knots in stupid ribbon and stupid Gryffindors tying stupid knots in stupid ribbon. Harry just chuckled at his impatient lover and continued to watch him open his present. He had spent hours looking through Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade for the perfect gift for the picky blonde when he finally spotted this in the window of a store he'd never been in. He instantly knew that it was perfect and he had it wrapped and taken it back to school with him that same afternoon. Draco finally got the paper off and was opening the box and reaching inside. Harry held his breath, hoping to Merlin that he was going to like what he'd gotten him. Draco gasped as he pulled his present out of the box. He spun around in his boyfriend's arms and kissed him square on the lips.
"Thank you so much Harry. Oh my gods, it's so beautiful…I didn't…I wasn't…you didn't…" Draco couldn't quite seem to find the right words to say and was fumbling. Harry kissed him again.
"Hush, Dray. I wanted to; I saw it in the shop window and knew you would love it. Besides, you deserve it, being the world's best boyfriend and all." Harry said grinning at Draco.
"You're right I do and I am." Draco grinned back at Harry before kissing him again; this time eliciting a moan from him. Draco growled before pushing Harry backwards till his knees hit the back of the bed and he tumbled down onto it, pulling Draco down with him.
Draco snapped himself out of his thoughts, not wanting to think about the amazing sex that had followed the rest of the night. Things like that were still way to painful. He glanced down into his hands and just stared at the beautiful work of metal and emeralds he held in his hands. He looked up into the mirror on his bedroom wall and stared at the reflection looking back at him. The red, swollen, puffy eyes, the huge dark circles underneath his eyes, the cheekbones slightly protruding from malnutrition, and his paler then usual skin. It all looked back at him hauntingly, and he looked back down into his hands. And that's the way it was for a good ten minutes, Draco just kept looking back and forth between his hands and the mirror.
Draco put the trinket into his robes and gasped as he looked up into the mirror. He knew what he had to do now. He stumbled through the corridors and up the stairs, finally arriving at the portrait, which he promptly started banging on. He needed to see Harry NOW!
Pansy and Hermoine were currently sitting on the same couch, facing each other and sipping tea while they discussed what could be done when movement caught Pansy's eye. She turned her head to the side and smiled at the intruder. "Hello Harry." She said softly, she'd been right; he looked just as bad as Draco had.
Harry said nothing to either of them, he just sat down on the couch that Hermoine had earlier occupied across from both of the girls and stared into the fire. Hermoine sighed and placed a hand on Harry's knee, "Is everything alright Harry?"
He looked up at her and nodded slightly. "They were just being too loud and it was hurting my head, I wanted to get away from the noise." Harry said quietly while looking down at his hands.
Hermoine was about to say something when loud banging echoed throughout the common room. Harry winced at the noise, it made his head hurt. He wordlessly walked up to the portrait hole and opened it up, only to have a very, very pale Draco fall into his arms. Harry's eyes shot open wide before catching the blonde in his arms.
"Dray?" Harry whispered tears filling his eyes once again. "What are you doing here?" Harry managed to choke out.
Draco smiled up at Harry and gently brought his hand up to Harry's cheek and kissed him gently on his cheek. Both of the girls had completely shocked expressions on their faces as they smiled tenderly at their two best friends. Maybe they wouldn't have to interfere after all.
Draco pulled back from Harry and smiled slightly before saying softly, "I just came to say goodbye love, goodbye love. Just came to say goodbye love, goodbye." Harry looked at Draco completely confused now, what was he talking about?
"Dray, what do you mean goodbye?" Harry asked, he didn't want to lose Draco again, it would tear him apart and completely destroy him once and for all.
Draco just smiled gently and kissed Harry again softly and gently. He pulled back as he started to feel like he was going to fade away and smiled sadly at Harry before glancing down. Harry's eyes followed Draco's down to his chest where there was a wet spot. Harry looked at Draco strangely before pulling Draco's robe back to be able to look at his chest and he gasped in horror as Draco collapsed in his arms.
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
"DRACO!" Harry screamed while sliding down the wall to lay the boy onto the floor. Pansy and Hermoine came running over at Harry's scream and when Harry ripped Draco's robes from his body they both gasped as they saw. There sticking out of Draco's chest was the beautiful Drawven made dagger, made of silver with the handle twisting into the shape of a dragon with emeralds sprinkling the hilt, that Harry had given him for his birthday last year. Harry kept screaming and screaming Draco's name while Pansy pulled him away from Draco with tears pouring down both of their faces, giving Hermoine room to see if there was anything that she could do for him.
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
Early the next day, before it was even light out, Pansy walked up to Draco's bedroom door. She hesitated as she put a hand on the door knob, sobs wracking her small frame. She pulled the door open and walked inside to find nothing amiss, except a piece of parchment sitting against Draco's pillows. She picked it up, crying profusely now, and looked at the words that the one person who really knew her had written in one of his last conscious moments.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.i
Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all you're sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.ii
I love you my Harry, please never forget that my love.
i Goodbye my Lover by James Blunt
ii Sorry by Buckcherry