Author's Note: I want to explain my angsty beginnings. I know people tend to think lighthearted when they see holiday fics, and while I hope there is some humor in this, I chose a different route. I've always though Usagi was treated really frigging bad in the Anime. Everyone seems to pick on her, and while it's obvious to me she tries her best, I've even seen some other writers tear her apart when it comes to the first season.

So I thought to myself, what could it be that makes it so much harder for her. I came up with a bunch of answers. The first is simple. Lack of self-confidence. If you've been told by everyone around you that nothing you do is good enough, you start to believe it. I felt this way most of my life... and it actually took my husband yelling at me to get me to understand I was important and special and wonderful in my own way.

The second revolves around instincts. Please remember that Princess Serenity was NOT trained to be a fighter. Sure she was probably graceful... eventually, but with no training on fighting off Youma, how would her reincarnation have those instincts. The Senshi however, were trained, probably from childhood, to be not only the protectors of Serenity, but also the Solar System!

The third thing is the use of the Silver Crystal when she is untrained. She doesn't even know she's using it. How might those side effects appear? I would assume there would be plenty. Burns, weakness, instability... but you get my point.

Fourth, the dreams... I have them causing her physical pain as well as emotional pain, because, let's face it, the Crystal wants her attention. If you were desperate to get what you needed, which in this case, is to be used so you can protect your carrier... you might take drastic measures too. And while the Crystal isn't sentient in the same way you and I are, I've always felt there was an awareness. Why else would it have covered Neo Queen Serenity without being asked?

And finally, Usagi, is FOURTEEN. Do you remember being fourteen? Couldn't make your own feet work because in the last year you had shot up several inches. You were dealing with hormones from hell, getting your period, and dealing with things like acne and low self-esteem. No one should blame her for being afraid, being klutzy, and not being as fast as the others. But they do.

I'd like to raise my fist (like Sailor Venus) and claim I shall have revenge. But alas, I am a lowly fanfiction writer, and can only do my best to show people the error of their ways. Sigh.

As for Mamoru, I think sometimes people forget what it's like to be a lonely, frightened child. Or they never knew. But for someone raised in an orphanage, who doesn't remember what it feels like to be loved... there have to be side effects from that. Possessiveness, an inability to connect with others, fear of rejection, and most importantly, a belief that they are unlovable. Can you imagine being in a position to feel that way and then meeting someone as bubbly and loving and open as Usagi? It would throw you for a loop, make you question everything. And don't you think you might be a little jealous of her. Friends and family that adore her, even if they don't always treat her the right way... the ability to go to school, and not worry that when she gets back her things would have been stolen by other children. Poor Mamoru... until Usagi gets ahold of him.

Also, I would like to remind people that Usagi is not typical of the Japanese culture. Usagi is a rare jewel, and that is probably why people love her so much. Mamoru and Ami are much better examples of the Japanese culture. Quiet, respectful, studious.

Putting soap box away for the moment...

Lessons Learned
Chapter Three
Switched

Mamoru found himself inside a dream much more strange than he'd ever had before. Instead of his princess standing on a balcony asking him for the Silver Crystal, he found himself instead in a war-torn area. In the body of a woman, following someone who seemed an awful lot like himself, witnessing the deaths of the Senshi, and then himself. It was him that took the hit for the girl whose body he was trapped in.

Then the girl picked up his sword and pierced herself with it, falling down over the man who looked like him. Pain blossomed in him, so fierce he couldn't breathe. Opening his eyes, he screamed, but it wasn't his voice that was screaming. He knew that voice. He shut his mouth with a snap. Usagi's voice disappeared.

He rolled over, finding a trash can with a scented bag next to the bed, and vomited through the pain. Wondering what the hell was happening, he looked around at the very pink room. A black cat was staring at him. Her eyes were red, and there was a crescent moon on her forehead, which he assumed was a bald spot.

"Usagi-chan?" Came a woman's voice. "Another dream?" It was the cat speaking. She stood and came closer, nudging against his arm. "Was it the same one?"

A small shriek escaped Mamoru, again in Usagi's voice. His brain sped through the possibilities. He couldn't let this cat know he was stuck in Usagi's body. Couldn't let her know something was wrong. So he nodded, unsure what else to do.

"Well go take a shower and you'll feel better." Luna. That was the cat's name. Luna sniffed a little when he didn't immediately move. Finally he sat up and tried to stand. But the pain was so bad he fell as soon as he'd gained his feet. He clutched his abdomen, wondering what was wrong with Usagi that she would be in so much pain.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. It always fades Usagi-chan. Just go take your shower. You have to be at the temple by ten you know."

Mamoru ended up crawling to the bathroom. He used the counter to help him stand and looked into the mirror. Sure enough Usagi's face was looking back at him. He stifled another scream. He looked wildly around. There was no way he could shower in her body. She would kill him. It was going to be torture just going to the bathroom.

Oh crap! I have to go to the bathroom! His thoughts were wild. He didn't know what to do. He made his way to the toilet, automatically reaching for his own equipment before remembering he was in a female body. Crap. Crap. Double crap. He frowned.

Finally he figured it couldn't be too bad. He pulled down the pajamas and underwear, careful not to so much as peek, and a minute later was surprised that everything had been so easy. Unfortunately he couldn't just shake himself. He reached for the toilet paper, mentally screaming as he wiped the area. He knew there was no way he could shower. Instead he went back into the bedroom and grabbed some clothing.

It took him a while to find something he considered appropriate. He found a pair of lavender jeans, a black short sleeved t-shirt, and a green short jacket. The length only came past the chest, but the arms were full length. He wasn't sure if he should button it or not so he just left it open.

Glancing at the time he noted it was only seven thirty. He rushed out, still clutching his belly. The pain from the dream still lingered.

"Usagi!" He turned back to see Luna sitting on the edge of the bed. She threw something at him. It was the golden brooch. He stuffed it in a pocket and sighed when she also threw him a pink watch. "I swear, you are just worthless sometimes," the cat hissed. Mamoru was taken aback. Sure he'd had a rough morning, but he hadn't done anything that bad.

"Your hair isn't even done," the cat continued. He glanced in the mirror to see the rather messy leftovers of the Odango buns Usagi always sported.

"I'll fix it soon," he promised, in Usagi's voice. "I just need to grab something." He backed out of the room and closed the door behind him. Making his way downstairs he made no noise whatsoever as he tiptoed to the front door and out of the house.

As soon as the door was closed behind him he took off running, and fell three steps later. He groaned. This could not be happening to him!

Usagi groaned. The princess on the balcony was wearing her dress, and her hair. She was suddenly angry. Only she ever wore that hairstyle. She stretched in the bed, feeling strange, and opened her eyes.

A moment later she screamed. She was not in her own room, but in a room that was painted grey. She was in a bed that was not her own, and next to her was a table that held only books and an alarm clock. She reached out, searching for her brooch. Nothing. She held up her wrist to look for her communicator, but it was gone as well.

And then she caught a good look at the wrist. Hair. There was hair on her wrist. And the hands were too large, and rougher than her own. She held up the other hand before letting out a shout in a voice that definitely was not her own. It was a male voice. And worse, she recognized the voice.

"oh no!" She cried, but her voice was a man's voice. "Oh no oh no oh no! Kami!" And then she screamed again, a strangely girlish sound even with Mamoru's voice instead of her own.

A fierce knocking was coming from another area of what she now assumed was his apartment. She stumbled out of the bed and went out of the room, following a short hallway to a living room that was as boring as it was fancy, and made her way to the door, almost tripping over the edge of the genkan (AN: a traditional Japanese doorway, that is slightly lower than the rest of the living space).

She pulled open the door and stared at herself. Her real face was looking back at her, and quickly pushed her back into the apartment and followed her in. Her own voice was a growl coming out with Mamoru's inflections when he spoke. "Please tell me that's you in there Usagi. We don't need any more people added to this, whatever it is."

Usagi could only nod, looking down at herself. She was so tiny from this angle. No wonder he never took her seriously. She looked so small! Her voice came out higher pitched than she'd ever heard from his mouth when she answered.

"What's going on? I just woke up. I thought I'd been kidnapped." She looked again at his hands, which she was using. "Is this some weird nightmare?"

"I don't think so," the answer sounded like her, but not with that tone and pitch. "We have to do something."

"What do we do?" She asked, edging closer and closer to hysteria. "Oh, Kami, what do we DO!?"

"Calm down Usagi!" Mamoru spoke, and the sound of her voice with his inflections nearly drove her insane. Instead she began to laugh, and couldn't stop for a very long time. When she had finally calmed, Mamoru (still in her body, boy was this getting confusing) was busy pouring coffee.

"Do you have my communicator?" He gave her a questioning glance, and even she had to admit it made her face look a bit vapid. Crap. Obviously this was why no one ever took her seriously. "The watch. Did my cat give you my watch?"

He pulled the communicator out of his pocket and she snatched it away before giving him a sheepish look. "I uh. I have to go to the bathroom, but I don't know..." she trailed off. He gave her a horrified look and she giggled, which sounded strange coming out of his mouth.

"I had to as well. Don't worry, I made sure not to look, or accidentally touch something," hearing her own voice that way was so odd she almost forgot what he was talking about. She tried to forget in fact. It was just too embarrassing.

"How? How do I..."

A rather involved discussion followed (AN: I was going to write this out, but when I was talking to my husband about it he said it might be a bit too weird, so I am going to leave it to the imagination) before she headed for the bathroom to take care of business. When she came out he had lain an outfit on the bed and she dressed quickly.

Once that task was taken care of the two of them sat down, but Usagi felt odd and uncomfortable between her legs. She gave him a startled look as she felt a pinch and another discussion had to be blushed through as he explained how to keep things tucked out of the way.

She looked down at herself, except it was his body. She was wearing jeans, a black short-sleeved t-shirt, and his ugly green jacket. She looked over at him, still wearing the outfit he'd picked. She wondered if he realized they were dressed like a couple, then shrugged, realizing he probably didn't.

"I'm hungry," he said suddenly, and even she had to admit her voice sounded whiney.

"I have a headache," she admitted. "You obviously need to eat. And much more than you usually do, I'm afraid. I have to consume about four times the calories of the other Senshi, and they have to eat more than other people as it is. Otherwise I start losing weight and get really weak, until I'm no good in a fight."

"You need to drink a LOT more coffee. Completely addicted." He shrugged her shoulders.

"I really want my body back," she sighed, and he nodded enthusiastically, blonde odangos jumping with the movement.

He prepared the coffee while she made pancakes and sausage. He kept glancing at the time and she wondered what he was thinking.

"Okay, you aren't going to like what I'm about to tell you," he said, in her voice. She was startled and looked up, only to be forced to look down instead. This whole thing was so strange she pinched her belly to see if it was real.

"Hey!" Shouted her voice. She giggled again, his own voice sounding insane when she did. "Alright, here's the thing... the thing is... Okay, see..." She looked at him, tilting her head slightly. Or, technically his head. This was all just too confusing.

Finally he continued. "At any given time you might feel a strange pain in your head, and then a tug in your chest. I can't explain it any better than that. Whatever you do, you can't give in to the feelings. She's just going to have do deal without back-up this time and pray the others can be there with her." He growled suddenly, and coming from her mouth it sounded so strange. Her eyes looked hard and angry.

"Who and what are you talking about?" She asked.

"I can't tell you that," he sighed. "Just don't give in to the feelings, okay?"

"I'll try, but there's something you should probably know as well. At any time this communicator might start beeping. Wait! Do you have my brooch?" She watched as he pulled it from her pants pocket and gave a sigh of relief. "Thank Kami!"

Unsure how to go on, she stood and paced. His longer legs were difficult to get used to, but she noticed she wasn't as klutzy in his body as she was in her own. Very strange. It was as though the balance was better. As though he was more fit and toned, and his leg muscles were fully developed. Maybe her own body was just going through a phase.

"Okay, so I'm not exactly who you think I am," she said finally. "I don't know if I can even walk you through this, but there is no one else, so unless we can get switched back before a Youma appears, you're stuck doing it."

"Did you say Youma?" Her voice sounded aggressive. She only nodded, his black hair falling into what were, for the moment, her eyes. She brushed it away in annoyance before moving to stand behind him.

"I'm going to fix these while we talk." She began to pull the buns out of her hair. It was a strange process when she wasn't in her own body. Who was she kidding, everything was strange this morning. "So, I uh. I am part of a team that fights those Youma that appear all the time. I'm um..." She sighed. "I'm Sailor Moon."

The silence stretched for a long time. She finished fixing the hair and moved to stand in front of him. Her. Whatever. Finally there was a huff of breath and he answered. "This can't be coincidence. Snap your right hand a little bit to the side and think about a rose." He commanded it in her voice, standing suddenly.

She did as he commanded and found a rose in her hand, before there was a rush of power in her body and she found herself closing her eyes to avoid a brief flash of light. She looked down again to see the tuxedo her masked hero always wore. It was just too much. She sat heavily and released the henshin.

"Take the brooch," she ordered, when she had calmed down. When he did she ordered him to lift it and told him the transformation phrase.

"Moon Prism Power Make Up," he said, in a firm but quiet voice. The lights and flashes of her own transformation took several long seconds (AN: though much faster than in the show because lets face it, if it really took that long they'd all be dead by now). She noted, for the first time, that during her transformation she was actually naked for a time, and blushed.

"Holy crap," came her voice.

"You're telling me," she said in his.

"This just cannot be coincidence," he said again. "Do you realize we met on the same day in both forms?"

She nodded, his hair falling into her eyes again. "I have to call for help." She said finally. She watched as he released the henshin as well and sat again.

"Your cat said there was a meeting at ten." He gave her a look, and cocked his head, much like she often did. "Does she always talk to you like that?"

Usagi nodded. "She never used to, but ever since Mars came around..." there was no need to finish. He'd heard Mars often enough, belittling her.

"I'm assuming Mars is Rei, and Mercury is Ami. Am I right?" Mamoru asked.

"Yeah. Come on, lets go meet them." She stood and had to catch Mamoru as he stumbled. "Sorry about that. I can never seem to figure out my own legs." She giggled again, noting how strange it sounded yet again. She couldn't seem to focus.

The two of them left the apartment, talking in hushed voices as he explained his attacks and she explained hers. Mostly he could manipulate roses, and now vines. She had her tiara, which could be used like a discus or with the Twilight Flash attack.

"My powers seem different than the other girls," she added. "They don't seem to be weakened by using them, and they never get hurt by them."

"Wait, your attack hurts you?" Mamoru asked.

"Yeah." She looked around and saw her reflection in a shop window. It was strange seeing his eyes looking back at her. She shuddered. "This is just too weird. Hey, we haven't fought once!" She added excitedly.

"I think I'm too shocked and afraid to fight," he answered, "but lets get back to the attack hurting you."

"It's nothing really. Just when I use my tiara it burns me a bit. Only when I have to throw it. I think it's the charge I put into it. It fades overnight though." She tried smiling. "It's nothing debilitating if that's what you're worried about. The Twilight Flash attack just makes me really tired and a bit headachy."

He nodded, deep in thought. It was a good look for her face and she studied it. Maybe she could practice the look later, when she got her body back. "So how the heck do we switch back?" She asked the question that had been circling her mind.

"Not sure," he said. "It depends. Was it the old man at the festival or could it have been the Youma we fought? If it was the Youma, we just have to wait until we kill it. If it was the old man, we have to go talk to him."

"Okay." She tried not to hyperventilate. For some reason the shock of learning he was Tuxedo Kamen had made the whole thing seem surreal, but reality was crashing down on her, and she most definitely did not like it. "I uh. I don't remember fighting a Youma."

He stopped, her body nearly falling to the pavement, and she reached out and caught him automatically, as though it were a programed response. "Wait. You don't remember at all?"

Usagi shook her... his... head.

"That sounds a lot like what happened to me when I first became Tuxedo Kamen."

"So, what happened?" She asked.

"Okay, well, you and I had just stumbled out of the house of mirrors. Both of us were feeling sick."

Usagi nodded. She could remember that much.

"And then a Youma was right in front of us. No one was screaming, and the other Senshi didn't appear. I pushed you back inside the mirror house, and moved away to henshin. Then suddenly Sailor Moon was there and we were both attacking the Youma. But it threw something white at us and just disappeared."

"I can see some of that now," Usagi admitted. He just nodded. "Why is that?"

"Because now you know you're Tuxedo Kamen, I think. When Motoki told me who I was I started to remember."

"Wait! Motoki knows? He could be in danger!" Usagi felt a little panicked. Motoki was like a brother to her, and Mamoru's best friend. They couldn't lose him!

"No one is aware that he knows, and he promised never to speak of it to anyone but me." Her own voice sighing was interesting. Usagi nodded, trying to calm herself.

Mamoru felt clumsy and foolish. Usagi's legs didn't seem to work right. His belly still hurt from the dream. He had a slight headache, and every time he moved too fast he tripped. Usagi, in his body, seemed to be having a much better time of it. It was hard to imagine being her on a daily basis. If she felt like this all the time, he worried she would get seriously hurt in a battle. And it was no wonder he had to swoop in and save her.

"Do you know why I get pulled to you?" he asked. She shrugged. It looked silly in his body.

"No clue. I just knew that you would show up if there was a particularly bad fight. And that you would protect me. I have to warn you though..." she trailed off, unsure how to tell him. "The others don't trust you. I always have. I don't even know why I've always been so certain, but I never wavered."

"I'm pretty sure my only purpose in these battles is to protect you. That's why I tend to sit on the sidelines and just watch until you need me."

They began climbing the steps to the Hikawah Jinga, slowly but surely. She noted that he was lagging behind. Her legs were shorter, and her body weaker than his. In his body, she wasn't even getting tired. Thought there were a lot of steps.

Rei appeared as they cleared the top and marched over to Mamoru, who unfortunately was trapped in Usagi's body. She wasn't sure what to do to stop the inevitable, and she was a little ashamed he was about to see what her 'friends' really thought of her.

"What the hell are you doing? You're late! And why did you bring him? What is the matter with you. You really do have dumplings for brains if you thought you could bring Mamoru to our meeting. I swear you are the most foolish, stupid..."

And that was the moment Mamoru snapped. Tired, in pain, still hungry, and very worried about the situation he and Usagi had found themselves in, he lost his temper. It didn't happen often, and coming from the mouth of the tiny blonde it probably sounded very strange, but he no longer cared.

"Shut up Rei. Shut up right this minute and don't you dare speak another word. Lets go inside right now." He motioned Usagi to follow him.

He could hear the sigh that followed, and noticed her wincing, but he didn't care. He was going to put a stop to this. Rei led the way into the living quarters. They stopped and removed their shoes, before going into a large room that held traditional tables and pillows. Ami and Luna were already there. Mamoru pointed Usagi's tiny little hand imperiously, motioning to Rei to sit down.

"First of all, I am not Usagi. You would know that if you had bothered to ask what was going on and why someone else was being brought to the meeting instead of jumping down your leader's throat."

He waited for their reactions. The girls, and the cat stared at him, then at Usagi, who was fiddling nervously. Mamoru put a supporting arm around her. No one spoke.

"Second. After spending the morning in Usagi's body, I am forced to admit that all of us have been too hard on her. She is in physical pain almost constantly, and I swear if I don't get some food in her belly soon this body will pass out." He turned and looked up at her. "How the hell do you live like this?"

Another shrug. Her hand was on her forehead. His forehead. Agh! This was confusing. He turned back to the others. "Usagi is right now dealing with my caffeine withdrawals, while I am dealing with her issues, including your attitudes. You call her your leader, but then treat her like crap." He sighed and tugged on Usagi's hand so they could sit on a couple of cushions on one side of the table. "I can't say much, because honestly, I've treated her the same way. Though to be fair, never as Tuxedo Kamen. Don't you think she'd perform better if you encouraged her and perhaps trained with her than she would when you are constantly belittling but offer no help? She's much more like my dream Princess then the rest of you Senshi,"

There was a stunned silence. He could hear the distant crackling of the Great Flame, and the sounds of crows cawing outside. He could hear Usagi's intake of breath, from his own mouth, and the sound of her heart beating. And then there was an explosion of talking as everyone else in the room tried to get him to explain himself.