AN: Here's the next chappie! I love the fact that I make people laugh. I want to do it all the time, but in person I'm self-conscious, shy, and I've just realized that I don't have as many friends as I thought I did. I just looked back upon theirs and my behavior, and…..Well…yeah. I like them better than they like me. I have few friends. But you guys like me right? And my Sammy-poo (As my sis so annoyingly calls him) loves me! Question: How does this end up as a 30-second bunny crack fic? Ivanova said it was.

Ginny rocks! She, Molly, and Lily are some of my fav characters just because they're so bad-ass! And they have great hair. Add in Hermione, Fleur and Luna and you've got yourself a veritable girl's army with awesome hair! I mean, who doesn't love their hair? Yeah, 'Mione's is a bit wild in the first few films, but it tones down by the end.

And yes, Ginny did just slap a god. Loki has a history of being slapped by red-heads, doesn't he? Oh, and the reason Molly slapped him was because he had never thought to check if Harry was alive or not. Poor, poor Loki. Are all the meany ginger girls ganging up on you? Thor's dialogue is really hard to write. I wish there was a Mordern English-Shakespeare translator. Yes, there will be backstory this time. Fine fine, on with the story.

Thor was laughing his head off, as was Tony, Clint and Harry. Natasha and Bruce were trying to hold in their giggles, because what kind of assassin and someone who had just destroyed half on New York giggled? Because Loki had just been slapped by a woman. A mortal woman. A petite, pretty, mortal woman.

"Oh, shut up you four. Ginny, that hurt!"

"You deserved it, mister. That's the fourth time Harry's had to come rescue you, and you need to get your head around defending your mind!" Ginny shook her finger at the offending God.

"Why're you here, anyway? I thought you were back at the Manor worrying about me with Teddy and the Weasleys?" Harry questioned.

"I came because this is the first time you've had to liberate your father in the middle of a battle field and I thought you might need my help. I left Teddy at Mum's to play with Victoire and came straight here." Ginny replied, going over to Harry who had sat down on what used to be a couch.

"Not that I'm not grateful or anything, but you really shouldn't have apparated all the way across the pond. Great strain on your core, you know, especially without a permit. Did you even stop off at Ireland or Canada?" He hated and loved the fact that she thought him important enough to pressure her magical core into apparating straight across the Atlantic.

" Nope. I came right here. You'll be grateful after mum fixes you up. The state of you! How many legions was it this time? A dozen?" Said Ginny, hurrying him off the couch so they could apparate properly.

"More or less, yeah." Replied Harry, with a devious wink at Loki. "Hey, Dad? I think they want explanations."

"Why? I already told them about the mind-control."

"I think he means about him. Where'd you get a son, Reindeer games?" Tony replied in lieu of Harry, as he and Ginny had already left for the Burrow to put him under the medical ministrations of Molly. (I 3 alliterations!) "Yes, brother dear, tell us about this nephew of mine." Boomed Thor, clapping his brother on the back and almost sending him out the window.

"How many times have I asked you not to do that?" Said Loki disgruntledly, getting up from the floor.

"Every time I do." Replied his brother, grabbing his shoulder in an attempt to help him up and managed to hurl him across the room.

"And that. Really, do you not know how overbearing you can be?"

"No, he doesn't." Steve said, while Thor pouted.

After Loki had stood up in safe distance from his brother, he continued. "Anyway. Harry. Around the time this lump got exiled into… Donald Trump or something…. The Allfather decided to exile me too, don't ask me why. He put me in the body of a stillborn child, born to a witch and wizard named-"

"Wait wait wait, witch and wizard?" Interrupted Tony.

"Yes, that's what I said."

"Wand-waving, potion-brewing, broomstick-riding wizard?" Clint continued, astonished.

"And witch." Natasha added.

"Yes, around 5,000 years ago the Allfather told me I could grant a gift to a mortal …..And I chose magic..…and I gave it to more like 50 people…..I never expected it to be hereditary! And I apparently can't take it back, so now there's a huge, world-wide hidden Wizarding world." Loki sheepishly explained.

"So that's why father was furious at you for ages." Thor said, "Because you gave mortals Asgardian powers and now there are thousands of them!"

"Yes, I know, I spent a century as a fox. Can I get on with the story now?"

"But-but-but- magic! How on earth is there magic?!" Tony had resolved to sputter about impossibilities.

"You're on a vengeance team with a super soldier, two assassins, a scientist with major anger issues, and a Norse God. Not two hours ago the statues of New York came alive and beat the crap out of the Chitauri, and you can't accept the existence of magic?" Said Bruce.

"Alright, fine. But I want proof when Potter comes back." Tony glowered, sulking because he had been proven wrong.

"So, I was put I the body of a newborn baby. Since he died in birth, there was no oppressing original soul/person to oust me out. Also, unlike Thor, I had no memories from my time on Asgard, so in all respects I was a perfectly normal wizard baby." Loki created a picture of baby James, Dorea and Charlus.

"Charlus Potter and Dorea Potter, neé Black. Brilliant people, wonderful parents. And there's me. Little James Charlus Potter. Wasn't I adorable?"

"Eh. I was cuter." Tony argued.

"Were not."

"Was too."

"BOYS! Get on with the story, will you?" Natasha was tired of bickering men.

"Okay, okay. So when I was eleven, I got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts. And before you ask, it's a school where you learn magic. Great big castle, brilliant teachers, wonderful place to play pranks."

"Oh no." Thor groaned.

"Oh yes! 7 years in a magic school with brilliant, prank-loving friends, what could go wrong!?"

"What did you do?" Thor asked, fearing the worst.

"Everything! The castle was barely standing by the time I left and I had the second-most detentions in the history of Hogwarts. Sirius had the most." Loki brought up another picture, this one of James, Remus and Sirius under the old oak by the lake.

"Sirius and Remus. Two of the best friends a person could ask for. And Pettigrew was there too, I suppose. Slimy traitorous rat. Eugcch.

"I met Sirius on the train to , we use a train. Flying carpets are outlawed in the UK. He was sitting in an empty compartment, looking lonely. I came in, asked if I could join him. Not a minute later a clumsy boy ran straight into another boy with his head stuck in a book, then fell into our compartment in a rather comical way. Of course, me and Sirius laughed ourselves silly, and helped the two up. I took a liking to all three, and as it seems, they did to me. We spent the next seven years wreaking havoc and for me, pining over a gorgeous red-head." Here he brought up yet another picture, one of a pretty ginger girl that did in fact look quite a lot like Harry's wife.

"I assume this is Lily?"

Startled out of his reminiscing by Thor's question, Loki answered. "Yes, that's her. The most wonderful, amazing woman in all the nine Realms. She hated me for six years, mostly because I was always picking on a friend of hers in the hopes to impress her. Merlin, I was stupid. Who likes someone because they insult your best friend?"

"Not mum." Harry had just popped in, Ginny on his arm and a small wolf-cub holding onto his pants' cuff with his tiny fangs. "Argh! Teddy! What did I say about hijacking apparition?" He picked up the cub, not even blinking when it turned into a toddler with bright blue hair.

"But Unca Hawwy…." The boy pleaded, hoping to stay here where Grampy Loki and the interesting people were.

No such luck.

"Ginny, would you mind taking him back to the Burrow? I want to hear dad make fun of himself some more. I'll record it for you, I promise."

"Fine." Ginny took the little boy from Harry. "You, little man, are becoming a nuisance. I don't even know how you like apparating."

"Eh. He gets off on it."

"Harry! He's four. Four year-olds don't get off on anything."

"So say you. Hey dad, Molly wants you over for Sunday dinner. Potluck , this time. Apparently she's tired of having to cook for three days before the bi-monthly In-Laws dinner."

"Oh great. You know I can't cook."

"Yeah, you're screwed."

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I know this is a crappy ending, but I had no idea how to end it properly! Yes, Teddy can turn into a Wolf. This is because of the combination of his metamorphagus abilities and the werewolf blood. He's not a werewolf, just a wolf. Yeah, Grampy means grandfather. I call my mum's dad Grampy, so do my sis and cousin. I just thought that it would be neat if Teddy really, really liked apparition. Like it was candy.