Title: The Immediate Context of History
Author: Marcia Plome
Fandom: The West Wing
Characters: Jed/Leo, Jed/Abbey
Rating: R for language, allusions to a m/m relationship, and violent references
Disclaimer: The West Wing, its characters and storylines are the sole property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Bros. and NBC Television. What follows is for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Major for events seen in flashback during "An Khe"
Summary: Pre-administration, Jed rushes to Leo's side as he recovers from injuries resulting from being shot down and the aftermath.
Warnings: Angst, very major angst. Slash, but well within an R rating.
Archive: Absolutely, just let me know.

The incessant ringing of the telephone on the table by his head brought Jed slowly back to awareness. "'Lo?" he answered, sitting up and trying to regain his bearings.

"Mr. Bartlet? It's Lt. Ferguson, I'm sorry to wake you, but my shift ends in a little less than an hour and I wanted to introduce you to the night nurse if you were planning on being around after visiting hours," she explained.

Jed looked out the window and noticed it was fully dark now. The hour he'd promised himself had stretched closer to three. "Yeah," he said, still groggy. "Yeah, thanks, I appreciate that. Give me a couple of minutes to wake up and I'll be right there."

"No need to hurry, I've got to give him a bath and help Col. Hester with his treatment before I'm through here. You probably don't want to be here for that anyway," she said.

Jed's stomach clenched at the thought of Leo so helpless he had to be bathed by a stranger. Eventually he supposed, the shock would wear off and each new reminder of the reality of his lover's condition would stop causing a physical reaction, but he expected that was still several days away.

He tucked the envelope with Leo's instructions into his jacket pocket and started back to the hospital. It took the short walk to clear away the last of his sleepiness and Jed was almost to the elevator before he realized Nurse Ferguson had said she was going to help Dr. Hester with some kind of treatment for which Jed didn't want to be present. Jed definitively didn't want to watch anything like that, never having been entirely comfortable around blood, much less the more gruesome realities of injuries as bad as Leo's, but more than that, he felt like he was violating Leo's privacy to be there for something so personal. Jed grimaced at the absurdity of that thought as the elevator stopped on the fifth floor, he'd certainly been party to the most personal of interactions enough times that watching something like a wound check shouldn't feel like an invasion. Still, he reasoned, part of his discomfort was that as long as he felt obligated to be present, to monitor anything being done, it was an undeniable sign that Leo was still powerless to do so for himself. This was his role here, to protect Leo's welfare and interests, and the growing sense of unease gave urgency to his steps. He hurried past the vacant nurses' station and was almost at a run when he reached Leo's room.

He'd lost his plane. Of all the stupid-ass, rookie mistakes, he'd gotten them shot down and not even been able to punch out right. He deserved this pain then, but he wondered if maybe the punishment wasn't worse than the crime. God he hurt. It was beginning to come back to him now, he'd busted his leg up pretty good, he'd seen the bones sticking out before Kenny'd bandaged it for him. It wasn't just his leg now though, and Leo didn't remember doing anything else to himself. In fact, he didn't remember a whole lot after Kenny dragged him away from their landing site. He'd told Kenny to leave him, and wherever Leo was, feeling like this, he dearly hoped Kenny had listened and was somewhere far away, and safe.

Jed got to Leo's room and stopped in the doorway, unsure whether he should go in. Dr. Hester was there, in scrubs this time, removing the bandages from Leo's leg. Jed noticed the sickly sweet odor intensify as Leo's leg was laid open to the air.

Hester looked over at the nurse, not having noticed Jed. "This is not improving. God, I hate to cripple a kid this age, much less one with his record, but if the necrosis keeps spreading there won't be enough leg left to reconstruct, even if we can stabilize him enough for the surgery."

Lt. Ferguson paused, seeming to consider her response, but there was no hesitation in her voice when she spoke. "Shouldn't you take him up to the OR and really clean it out then, Colonel? Why continue the debridements down here if it isn't enough?"

Hester shook his head grimly. "He's barely hanging on as it is, I can't chance anesthetizing him and I'm not enough of a monster to put him through that kind of procedure when there's a chance he could wake up in the middle. It's bad enough that I'm doing this much without putting him under."

Ferguson unfolded a surgical drape and handed it to him. "But if the gangrene goes systemic?" she asked.

"It's a chance we have to take. Right now, I'm a lot more concerned about whatever other bug he picked up, that's what's killing him, not the gangrene." Hester answered.

Jed tried to swallow the lump in his throat, Dr. Hester hadn't sugarcoated things for him in their earlier conversation, but he hadn't been as direct as he was with his staff. Hearing him like this illustrated for Jed the fact that Leo's case was a medical challenge, not just a case of waiting for the antibiotics to do their work. He struggled with his feelings for long moments, still watching the two of them work on Leo. Finally, his throat still thick with emotion, he coughed, giving himself away.

Lt. Ferguson turned, startled, and looked to Col. Hester for direction.

Hester looked up at Jed, his demeanor calm and unsurprised, and gave Ferguson a very slight nod before returning to his work,

Jed took this as permission and stepped over the invisible threshold and into the room.

"You can stay, Mr. Bartlet, but don't contaminate my field," Hester warned quietly.

Leo floated closer to this well of consciousness again, trying to separate the latest hazy dreams from the reality that had pulled him out of them. He tried to piece together what he knew. Pain. Even the dreams were tinged with pain, it had begun to define his existence. Shot down. Wrecked leg. Where was he now? Leo tried to open his eyes, but couldn't get them to obey. Had he been captured? There had been an NVA patrol on the ground looking for them, Kenny had tried to hide him, he remembered that much. His leg felt like it was being carved into slices. They'd gotten him then, he'd probably given himself away somehow. He was cold, and he felt damp. NVA torture methods favored holding GIs under water and Leo knew they wouldn't stop until he'd given them something. He tried to talk, to offer up some useless information, but he felt like he was gagged, like they had shoved something down his throat. He wanted to be amused at the irony of torturing someone for information while physically preventing them from providing it, but found the pain distracted him from even that. What did they want from him? His breathing was coming too fast, and Leo knew his heart rate was higher than it should be as well. He tried to slow his breathing, to find a way that didn't hurt so much, but every attempt to control it only made things hurt worse. He felt that awful gurgling at the end of every breath and knew there was either blood or water in his lungs. If they'd just leave him be, stop dunking him in the water, maybe he'd have a chance to cough it out. His leg was being hacked, but that didn't make any sense if there were drowning him, maybe there were rats? Rats gnawing on his leg? Made sense, he guessed, they'd be attracted to the blood. Leo choked at the inhumanity of it. He'd been briefed on the NVA torture methods, but nothing had prepared him for this. Fucking commie bastards, they didn't give a rotten goddamn about the Geneva Convention. He tried to flail an arm, to lash out at whomever was doing this to him, but again, his muscles weren't under his control.

Jed thought he saw Leo's fingers twitch, almost imperceptibly, against his bandaged hip. His concerned look at the doctor was returned with a slight shake of the head.

Col. Hester bent back to his task, "Almost done here Captain, just a bit more," he said, gritting his teeth as finished the job. With Leo's leg cleaned out and rebandaged, Col. Hester stripped off his gloves and took a seat on the physician's stool. "I'll update his chart, Lieutenant, you can go find Captain Jones and brief her on the status of the floor for tonight."

"Yes sir," she replied, clearing away the last of the mess from the procedures they'd done for Leo before leaving them alone.

Col. Hester stretched a bit on the stool and took a long look at Leo. "We don't have anything else planned for him tonight, the nurses will just be in for vitals checks. If his condition hasn't changed, I want to take him off the respirator in the morning."

"But if he stops breathing again?" Jed asked.

"It's a necessary risk. The longer he stays intubated, the more dependent he'll become on it. He's got some fluid building up in his lungs, and the respirator will increase the risk of pneumonia. Even if we have to put him back on it later on, any time he's breathing for himself right now is delaying the onset of respiratory paralysis," Col. Hester explained.

Jed's concern about the possibility of complications was tempered by his satisfaction that pulling the tube was a clear sign of improvement. "I understand," he said.

"All right, I'm headed home for the evening. Captain Bauer is on duty overnight. He's been involved in Captain McGarry's case from the beginning, so he knows what to look out for. I expect he'll be in to check on things later tonight," Col. Hester explained. "Do you have any other questions for me?"

Jed thought for a moment, but nothing struck him. "No, not right now, thanks."

Col. Hester nodded, "All right then, I'll see you tomorrow Captain. Mr. Bartlet."

Jed turned back to Leo, "You hear that? He's taking out that infernal tube tomorrow, so you'll be able to tell me to be quiet and let you sleep. Meanwhile, you're stuck listening to me go on and on about your goddaughter. Let me tell you about the time I was burping her while grading papers, and she spit up all over one of the essays. I had to bump the kid's grade a whole letter to make up for the fact that I was returning his paper with dried baby puke on it." Jed told the kind of stories that he realized were funny to devoted parents and no one else, but Leo would be awake soon enough, and then they could talk about more adult topics. In the meantime, he was free to run on about his baby girl.

He was startled some time later by a chuckle from the doorway. Standing, he saw Nurse Ferguson there with another nurse he hadn't seen before. "What?" he asked, somewhat embarrassed to have been caught talking to Leo like he expected a response, and more embarrassed that the topic had been the varying consistencies of baby excretions.

Nurse Ferguson smiled, "Nothing, it's just that babies are a pretty unusual topic around here." Getting serious again, she continued, "I came by to introduce you to Captain Jones. She'll be taking care of Captain McGarry tonight. Ma'am, this is Mr. Bartlet, he's the captain's next of kin."

He put his hand out, "Please, call me Jed."

After a tiny hesitation, Nurse Jones reached forward and shook his hand with her fingertips. She was older than Nurse Ferguson, but not as old as Dr. Hester. Jed guessed she was in her early forties. Her light brown hair was pulled up into a French braid at the back of her neck, above the collar of her uniform. She was more distant than the rest of the people Jed had met here so far, and her "How do you do?" implied a more privileged background. She stepped past him to scan Leo's chart for a moment, and nodded to Jed on her way out, "It was nice to have met you, Mr. Bartlet. I'll be back in an hour or so to do another vitals check."

"See you tomorrow," Nurse Ferguson said with a quick grin before hurrying down the hall after her counterpart.

By the time Nurse Jones returned, Jed had switched to telling Leo about some of the trickier bits of his dissertation. After a silent nod of greeting she went about her checks with all the surety of experience that Jed had seen from other nurses, although she kept an emotional perimeter around herself, something that was noticeably absent from Nurse Ferguson. After recording the latest numbers in Leo's chart, she turned to Jed, "You understand that visiting hours end in another hour, Mr. Bartlet?"

Jed's heart sank, things had been smoothed over for him so effectively to this point that he hadn't expected a fight. Nonetheless, he had no intention of leaving Leo alone, and he'd spent enough time around hospitals to realize visiting hours were entirely negotiable. "Listen, I'm not trying to cause any trouble, I just want to be here with him. Can you see your way clear to look the other way?"

"Rules are rules, Mr. Bartlet, they're there for everyone's protection," she answered.

Jed looked at Leo, still helpless, still silent, and decided to appeal to her sympathetic side. "Look, ma'am, no one here has given me anything but bad news and extremely guarded prognoses about my friend. He's fighting for his life, and I'm just trying to remind him what he has to fight for. If you were in his place, wouldn't you want to have someone around that loved you?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Jed wondered if he'd said too much. Could he backtrack from that last statement, couch it in terms of brotherly love or something?

Nurse Jones' posture changed completely, and she answered quietly, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I would."

"I – I didn't mean, uh, it's not," Jed stuttered, trying to somehow undo what he'd just said.

"No, it's all right," she put her hand on Jed's arm, "I do understand. I'm sorry about your friend, and I'm sorry I can't offer you real hope. If you being here offers him something, I don't want to be the one that takes that away." She started to leave and then turned back, "If I can do anything to make this easier for you, ask." She was gone before Jed could gather himself enough to respond.

Leo fought his way back to consciousness, this time the layers of pain were more familiar. The sharp biting pain in his leg was gone, but it still felt like someone had jabbed a knife in there and twisted. The leg was on fire, but he was cold. He'd heard enough stories about POW camps to be unsurprised by that finding. He'd be lucky if they left him in his flight suit, they'd probably already put him in the lightweight black pajamas, and he could forget about getting a blanket. He could hear voices, but he couldn't make them out. At least they'd taken a break from beating him. The NVA wouldn't let a little detail like him being unconscious stop them from pounding on him, but he didn't want to give himself away either. He took another moment to assess his condition. Breathing still hurt, and the rattle he felt was getting worse, he assumed they'd broken some ribs. Lucky thing he hadn't punctured a lung. For a moment he almost questioned that. Maybe it would be luckier to go ahead and die early. He didn't have anything to look forward to here except more pain. . Even if he told them everything he knew, it wouldn't matter, when they were finally satisfied he'd given them everything he knew, they'd beat him for fun. Still, Leo told himself, he had to hold on a little longer. He had to make it until someone knew who he was. If they hadn't gotten him to the Hilton yet, they would soon, and there would be other GIs there. Once he'd gotten his name and his serial number out, then he could let go, but until then, he had to hang on. He owed that to his buddies back at Tahkli, to his sisters, and most importantly, to Jed. Missing in action almost always meant dead, but it was that 'almost' that kept people from being able to let go and grieve properly, that kept them from being able to move on. He'd promised Jed he'd come home, but if he couldn't keep that promise, at least he'd be certain Jed knew for sure, that he didn't have to spend the rest of his life asking what-ifs. Leo had seen what those kinds of questions could do to a guy's family and friends and he wouldn't put Jed through that. He tried to crack his eyes open just enough to get a glimpse of where they were holding him, but found he didn't even have the strength for that. There was nothing to stay awake for and Leo didn't fight the blackness as it pulled him back down.

Jed had run out of things to talk about. He'd told funny baby stories, he'd told funny student stories, he'd given an impassioned defense of why 'Desolation Row' should have been included on Dylan's greatest hits record, he'd worked his way through his rosary twice, and he'd alternately begged, cajoled, and threatened Leo to just wake up and say something. He was fighting boredom and the pathetic selection of months-old military magazines and Reader's Digests were doing nothing to help the problem. Nurse Jones had been by a few times to do more vitals checks, and she'd indulged Jed with a few moments of small talk, but he hadn't found a real point of connection with her, and she had other patients and responsibilities. He was watching Leo sleep, trying to remember the last time he'd sat at his bedside with nothing else to do, content just to be close to him. It had been before he and Abbey got married, a weekend after Leo had finished his officer's training and before he'd started flight school. Leo had gotten a room and they'd stayed in, ordered room service and barely stuck their noses out the door for two and a half days. Still exhausted from the last week of his training, Leo had slept late every morning, and Jed had stayed in bed with him, reading the paper and just relishing the closeness. Leo slept on his side facing him and Jed found himself frequently having to skip backwards in articles after catching himself studying his lover's face. He'd been careful not to wake him, Jed knew how far his friend could push himself, and how much he needed this rest, but he couldn't quite restrain himself from running a gentle finger around the outside of his ear. It was featherlight, just barely making contact at all, but Jed was rewarded by Leo's half-smile. He knew that look, and even in his sleep, it meant Leo was comfortable and satisfied. Jed tried it now, reaching forward to gently stroke the ridge of Leo's ear, but Leo didn't move and Jed didn't see any change in his expression around the breathing tube.

He'd slumped back in the chair, trying to marshal his thoughts towards positive outcomes and away from the growing sense of despair when a young blonde doctor brushed by him. He walked past Jed without acknowledgement and snagged the chart off Leo's bed to scan it. Jed, annoyed by being ignored, cleared his throat. "I don't think we were introduced before. I'm Jed Bartlet."

The doctor looked up, "I'm sorry, I didn't see you. I'm Captain Bauer. I'm the doctor on call tonight." Jed looked him over, taller than either he or Leo, but not as tall as Dr. Hester, Bauer's blonde hair was cut short like most of the other men Jed had seen on the base and combined with his medium build to make him rather average looking. After his cursory introduction, he'd gone back to studying Leo's chart.

Jed shifted uncomfortably in the chair, wondering what this younger doctor saw in those notes.

The captain looked over at him, "You might as well go get some sleep. He has no idea you're here."

Jed was stunned. This man was the antithesis of Dr. Hester, who'd been gentle and caring, not only with Leo, but also with Jed. Nurse Ferguson had been great from the outset, and even Nurse Jones had made him feel welcome after he'd explained the situation. Jed got the feeling that having a family member around for one of their patients was unusual enough that they welcomed the change. They all seemed open to the idea that Leo might have moments of awareness, even if he couldn't demonstrate them, and that Jed's presence might be comforting to him in those moments. This guy didn't even seem to consider that a possibility. Jed had had about enough of being told what was best for Leo. He was tired, he was hungry, he was scared, and he felt horribly out of place. The one thing he knew how to do here was stand up for Leo, and it was with that in mind that he responded to the young doctor's suggestion. "Maybe he doesn't", Jed growled, "but I'd rather be here and not have him know it, than take a chance on him knowing he's alone with you."

The doctor's chin snapped up at Jed's comment and he glared at him, "I don't know what you're trying to imply, but if he's going to be alone with one of us, he's a hell of a lot better off with a trained surgeon than with some civilian who'll only get in the way."

Jed was too angry to be diplomatic anymore. "It's not as if you require a lot of room to maneuver in order to read his chart there. The only one here doing anything important is him," Jed gestured pointedly at Leo, "he's fighting for his life while you stand there beating your chest. I managed to stay out of Dr. Hester's way earlier when he was actually doing something, so I think I can avoid you while you just stand there. If you decide to do more, you let me know, and I'll move. Frankly, that would be a welcome change from what I've seen from you so far!" past the point of caring about making a scene, he let his voice rise into a shout.

"That's enough!" Captain Bauer responded, his tone matching Jed's. "Visiting hours are long over and it's past time for you to go. I can see that you're overwrought, but you're going to have to learn some decorum when addressing officers and physicians."

Bauer's patronizing words snapped the last remaining thread of Jed's self control, "Don't you dare lecture me about decorum! You want me to be awed and deferential towards you as some gifted healer, then fucking make him better. As long as he's lying there like that, I'm staying here. And as for whatever shiny piece of metal you have pinned to your shoulders, I don't give a good goddamn. Prove you're entitled to the respect, and I'll give it to you. Until then, maybe you ought to stay out of my way," he finished fiercely.

Bauer took a step towards Jed and just stood there for a moment, his presence vaguely threatening. "You're lucky I don't call the Security Police."

Jed didn't back down, "Call whomever you need to."

Bauer blew out an exasperated breath and shook his head in apparent resignation, "We both want what's best for Captain McGarry. The best thing you can do for him is to stay out of my way here." He turned on his heel and stormed out.

Still too hot to let Bauer get away with the last word, Jed called after him, "Stay the bloody hell out of mine, doctor." The sarcasm on the last word was impossible to miss.

Jed's heart was racing, confrontations like that weren't really his thing, but he'd just had more than he could take here. He paced the room for a few minutes, waiting to see if Bauer was coming back, but eventually settled back into the chair by Leo's bed.

Leo tensed, he could hear shouting, but he couldn't make out words. He concentrated, trying to decide if it was English or Vietnamese he was hearing, but again, his thinking was too muddy to be sure. Vietnamese voices arguing would probably mean they were trying to decide what to do to him next. Leo had been out of it for a while, he knew, and it was probably time for them to start up on him again. If they were English voices though, that would mean other prisoners, people to whom Leo could get his information. People that would be able to tell his family what had happened. English voices fighting about what though? It didn't make sense and Leo was too tired to hold on to the slippery strands of consciousness.

It was after four by the time Jed finally left, knowing that the morning shift started at seven and that it would be an hour or two after that before they'd have finished rounds and be ready to start with procedures. He hated to leave Leo alone, but he'd decided Nurse Jones was competent, albeit in a more formal, less personal way than Dr. Hester and Nurse Ferguson were, and Dr. Bauer hadn't made another appearance. Leo would be okay for a few hours, and Jed knew he needed to get at least a little sleep in order to be coherent when Hester pulled the tube.