A/N: A big thanks to SoulSister for getting rid of my writer's block
Rewrite of episode 22 of Code Geass (sort of)
Lelouch's point of view (mostly).
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
The lazy drone of the cicadas could be heard in the muggy air of the late Japanese summer. A field of sunflowers swayed in the small breeze with vibrant yellow petals basking in the generous light of the afternoon sun. Laughter filled the open field as two young boys waded through the waist high grass, their clothes stained green, and their legs sore from running under the weight of their heavy schoolbags.
"Come on, Suzaku." Whined the boy with the dark hair as he pulled the other along in his wake.
"Where are we going, Lelouch?" asked the Japanese boy, looking behind to see if anyone else was around. "We'll be late for dinner." The one named Lelouch answered him by pulling him behind a patch of sunflowers and kissing him fervently. He was smiling when they broke apart for air.
"This is the only time we can be alone together." The Britannian boy said breathlessly.
"Lelouch." Suzaku replied, his eyes downcast. "Don't you ever feel like maybe we're getting to old for this kind of thing?" Lelouch wrapped his arms loosely around Suzaku's neck and leaned in close.
"And what, exactly, is "this kind of thing"?" He whispered in a voice that caused a relatively new feeling to burn in Suzaku's lower body. He blushed.
"I don't know." He answered, shifting uncomfortably. "Playing?" he suggested, "Wasting time?" Lelouch laughed in response and pressed his hot body up against Suzaku's. Helplessly, Suzaku let out a constricted sigh, heat rising in his cheeks. He bit his lip and his hands settled on Lelouch's shoulders.
"Let's give it a new name, then. A more grown-up name." Lelouch offered. "How about "Loving"?"
"We're not that grown up." Scoffed Suzaku. Then his blush returned. "We don't know how to…Love." The Britannian boy was not to be deterred. He began undoing the buttons of his best friend's school uniform. Suzaku shivered as fingers lightly grazed his bare skin.
"We won't know until we've tried." Lelouch unbuttoned his own uniform and placed Suzaku's hand on his chest. "It will be an adventure for us." He captured Suzaku's lips in his own. "We'll go farther than we've ever gone before." Suzaku returned the kiss hungrily and soon they were both lying on the dirt floor, gasping for breath. Two boys acting upon their newly discovered lust and hardly grasping the gravity of what they were doing. "Let's pretend that I am king of the universe…" Lelouch continued, straddling his friend and sucking his neck. He paused to look up at Suzaku with mischievous eyes, "And you are my lovely queen." Suzaku sat up and pushed the boy off him playfully, his confidence renewed.
"The only thing that you could ever be king of is chess." Said Suzaku. Lelouch pouted and attempted to slide his hand into Suzaku's overly-tight underwear. Suzaku grabbed the appendage and used his free hand to tip Lelouch's chin up. "How about I be a brave and valiant knight and you be my fair princess?"
"That works too." The dark haired boy laughed and reached up for another, softer kiss.
Suzaku…
"Lelouch!"
I was jolted from my very explicit memory at the sound of Nunally's soft voice calling my name. For a split second I found myself thankful that my sister wouldn't be able to see my shameless blushing.
"I think I can hear the water boiling." She said, pointing in the direction of the stove.
"Oh thanks." I went to turn down the heat and returned to the cutting board to finish chopping vegetables. "Is there any reason why we are making such a big dinner? Since Sayoko isn't here, wouldn't it be easier if we just ordered pizza?" I asked. Nunally smiled.
"We are celebrating Euphie's plan for the Special Administrative Zone of Japan, of course." She replied. I frowned but did not voice my opinion. For Lelouch Lamperouge and all the other countless naïve Britannians of Area 11, I would play the part.
"And I hope you don't mind," Nunally continued, "But I invited Suzaku over tonight."
Ouch. The knife slipped. I hissed as the sharp blade cut into the index finger of my other hand. Droplets of red dotted the cutting board.
"That's great." I lied, my voice smooth as ever. Nunally wheeled over and gently put a hand on my arm.
"Did something happen?" she said, "Are you two in a fight? You can tell me about it."
"Of course not." I laughed. "Everything is fine."
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Everything was not fine, that much was clear. I didn't see how the dinner could be any worse. For the first time I actually despised Nunally's need to play peacemaker. Suzaku and I didn't speak to each other, only answering if Nunally asked us a question. We sat stiffly in our chairs and I wondered if perhaps she regretted inviting Suzaku for dinner, as I was certain she could feel the awkwardness in the air during the lapses in conversation.
After eating, Nunally decided that she was tired. I helped her into bed, taking my time in hopes that when I returned to the dining room, Suzaku would have shown himself out the door. He didn't. He was still sitting there with his arms crossed when I entered the room. He wanted to talk.
"Just out of curiosity," I began in an acidic whisper, quiet enough so that Nunally wouldn't hear if she were still awake, "Was it your idea? This Special Zone of Japan?"
"Does it matter?" Said Suzaku, standing up, immediately defensive. My eyes narrowed.
"You're a fool, Suzaku. A FOOL, if you think this will work." I growled. "Don't you think that I'd have suggested this first if I considered it an easier solution?"
"Frankly, Lelouch, once you've been made the enemy, it won't matter what you think anymore." He answered in a tired manner. I recoiled. So that was it? Maybe Suzaku didn't care about the Japanese people. Maybe this "Special Zone" had been created for the mere purpose of neutralizing me. It had worked. I was ruined no matter what I chose to do from now on.
"You think you're so goddamn righteous." I spat in his face. "If only people knew the truth about you. A conniving, power-hungry bastard. You're the very essence of the Britannians that you once claimed to hate so much."
This was how it was played now. Suzaku, with his lofty ideals, against my cold, hard logic. Sometimes, he could not ignore me. I watched him clench his fists at his sides.
"What about you?" He said, the fire in his emerald eyes evident. "You have a chance for a free Japan; what you've been fighting for all this time. Will you become the enemy of peace because of your own stubbornness?" His voice became softer. "What about the promise you made to me?" He added. "By the hand of Kururugi Suzaku or Zero…"He quoted. He grabbed hold of my collar suddenly. I cringed as my shirt tightened around my bruised neck. "Well it's my hand that can do it now."
Our faces were close. Goosebumps had formed on my skin from whatever unidentifiable emotion that combined fear, anxiety, and anticipation.
"You weren't lying, back on that island. You wanted for us to be together." Suzaku said. "Is your mask really so important that you are willing to give up Japan?" His eyes searched mine, worn and frustrated. "…us?" he added.
What 'us'? I wondered. How could there be a chance of that anymore. Didn't he realize who we were?
Suzaku pulled me close so that our chests were pressed against each other. He closed his eyes, breathing softly. My hands, which hung uselessly at my sides, longed to touch him.
"Can't you step down, just this once? For me?" He asked, his lips brushing the skin of my ear after his whispered words. I shivered involuntarily, letting his knee slide between my thighs.
Suzaku was being sincere but I couldn't help but feel that we no longer talking about the SAZ. In my mind, I was a kid again. I was taken back to that afternoon with Suzaku, in the seclusion of the tall sunflowers. My body was hot and aching with want, beads of perspiration sliding down my flushed face, my breathing, erratic.
"Can't you just…surrender?"
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
All eyes were on me. Whether it be from the stands below, the chairs onstage, the television set at the office or on the street, the entire world was watching my grand entrance. The wind whipped through my dark clothes, cold from the altitude. My hand rested against the surface of the Gawain to steady myself as we made the descent.
My eyes picked out Suzaku as the Gawain landed on the stage. He had dressed nice for the occasion, the fancy clothes suiting him perfectly and making him look every bit the part of a knight. The smile he wore was the only honest one.
Euphemia stood, her arms held out in a hospitable way, as she welcomed me to the Special Zone of Japan. As I stepped down, I felt the small, plastic needle gun at my side. My mind, in an unusual storm of emotion, had told me to bring it, but not exactly what I would be doing with it. I was not used to being cornered. Not used to defeat.
"Euphemia de Britannia, I wish to have a word with you."
Only when we were finally alone together, did I remove my mask. I wanted Euphemia to know my true identity. I wanted to give her the opportunity to hate me. Looking upon my face, she didn't seem surprised. She had already guessed that I was Zero. I handed her the needle gun. I asked if she would still accept me, knowing that I was the one who killed Clovis, knowing that I had murdered countless Britannians and Japanese alike in order to get where I was standing now.
She didn't care. Unlike Suzaku's black and white world, my world in shades of grey, or our father's world of black, Euphie's world was entirely white. Her love was unconditional. Her ability to forgive extended to everyone.
I asked her why she was doing this. She said it was for me and for Nunally. So that we wouldn't have to hide anymore.
That was when I knew that Zero could die peacefully. I could place all the lives of Zero's followers in the loving hands of Euphemia. I could rid myself of this burden of trying to take over the world.
But that was when my left eye began to burn. Things suddenly went horribly wrong.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
I ran. My legs, hardly built for such running, seemed to be moving in slow motion. Everything seemed to have slowed down. It was as if my vision had turned red. Red was on the walls surrounding me, in the air, on my clothes, pooling around my feet. The screams of the dying Japanese and the blasts of machine gun fire were only the background noise to the deafening sound of my heart pounding in my ears.
My geass had caused this…
When I stopped for a moment, an elderly woman grabbed the hem of my cloak, clawing desperately at me. My eyes stared in shock as the horrible image of her bloody fingers and maimed body was imbedded into my mind.
"Zero…Savior of Japan…" she croaked weakly. "You are our last hope."
"No." I breathed, taking a step back. "I am no savior. Don't ask me to save you." I turned around and fled, the soles of my shoes leaving bloody footprints on the concrete.
This wasn't how today was supposed to happen. Zero was supposed to die today. Lelouch Lamperouge was supposed to live the rest of his perfect life without ever having to use the power of his geass again. But now my eye burned intensely, the pain, a constant reminder of the curse I carried and the destruction I had wrought.
Knightmares occasionally fired at me, but otherwise paid me no heed and returned to the slaughter at hand. Zero had been forgotten in the chaos. The Black Knights had joined the fight. I hadn't given them orders, but they thought they knew what I wanted. To them, it would have looked like I'd just performed some kind of sick miracle.
C.C. was nowhere to be found when I reached the Gawain. I looked up as the Lancelot soared over my head. Suzaku was still alive. Panic overcame me when I realized that he was looking for Euphemia. I had to find her before Suzaku did.
When I located the Lancelot again, it was sitting, empty. I landed the Gawain and lowered myself from the cockpit. On the ground a few yards away, Suzaku was kneeling. One of his hands was clutching a gushing wound on his side. The other pointed a gun. My eyes followed the direction he was pointing. Euphemia stood facing him, her loaded weapon aimed at her own knight.
My worst fears had been realized.
Their eyes glowed red as they looked at each other. Their hands were shaking as they fought with all their might against their geasses. They were powerless against the invisible force that had enslaved them and pitted them against each other. Euphie's geass had activated the moment she had seen Suzaku's handsome Japanese face. Suzaku's had been triggered by the threat of Euphie's gun.
Tears stained their cheeks, blood stained their clothes, but as my pleas to them fell on deaf ears, I realized that the most helpless one was me. The spectator. The unwilling puppet master who had carelessly tangled the strings and lost control.
Was this about to be how I would atone for my sins?
I was Zero. I could do anything.
As Euphemia let a shot loose, and as Suzaku pulled his trigger in response…
…I was standing in the crossfire.
.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
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