"I'm tellin' you, man. Wario has got to have a bottomless pit in him like Kirby does."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Dude. Wario can eat his own bike. Tell me, where does it go?"

"... Out the other end to add to global warming."

As soon as Olimar and Cloud entered the dining hall, they were met with a hot discussion between Lucario and Little Mac. Neither one even wanted to interrupt them in fear of being dragged into it themselves. Besides, they had more important things to take care of.

Unfortunately, the room was filled with chaos.

Pit was arm wrestling Dark Pit (or Pittoo as he calls him), Bowser Jr. was fighting over who would get the last cinnamon bun with the rest of the Koopalings (when there were more being made already), Kirby had eaten King DeDeDe's massive plate and was currently being chased by the said king with his mallet, R.O.B was pestering everyone about what it was like to taste in order to gather data to act more 'realistic', and Falco had decided to hit on Bayonetta (which resulted in him being stomped on by an otherworldly foot and a "Try asking your mum about how to talk to a lady, little pheasant," from the umbral witch).

All in all, it was nothing new. But one problem was definitely clear: How were they going to get everyone's attention?

At this moment did Olimar remember his first friend when he first came to Smash Bros. He turned to Cloud, his serious expression fitting perfectly on the sword wielder's face. "I have someone that can help."

"I'm not sure Alph can-"

"No. It's not Alph. This one was my first actual friend when I arrived."

This interested Cloud. "Who is it?" he asked intently. The response was completely unexpected.

"Captain Douglas Falcon. Sure, he might have... 'Accidentally' killed an army of my Pikmin and is a bit straightforward, but we're closer than you would assume. If anything, he can probably quiet this entire room."

Cloud was completely confused. To him, Captain Falcon would be the last person Olimar would be friends with. Seeing his confusion, Olimar sighed, "I'll explain later. For now, go and tell him that you and I have an announcement to make."

The former buster sword wielder really didn't want to even make contact with the racer. He had only been inside the mansion for a short while and Falcon was one of many that got on his nerves. They never really talked much; the bounty hunter was too loud. However, he really had no other choice now. Standing up tall (or, at least as tall as he could make himself in Olimar's body), he made his way to Douglas Falcon, who was currently in a heated pancake eating contest with Bowser.

In a weird sort of way, Cloud was actually kind of impressed when Falcon beat the Koopa King.

"I REMAIN UNDEFEATED!" the racer proclaimed as Bowser lay on the floor, completely full and never wanting to see another pancake again. Falcon looked down to Cloud and gave him a hearty thumbs up. "Happy you could see me keep my title, 'lil bud!"

In return, Cloud forced a smile. "Yeah... Well, Ol—Cloud and I need to announce something to everyone. It's important."

Captain Falcon gave Cloud a suspicious look. "Don't tell me you're announcing that you're leaving your wife for—"

"Absolutely not," Cloud interrupted sternly, which resulted in the racer laughing. "You're so easy to tease, bud! I know you'd never leave her. You want the guys to quiet down so you can tell us something, yeah? Leave it to me," Falcon replied and stood up on the syrup-covered table he was at.

Taking a deep breath, the bounty hunter instantly got everyone's attention after shouting, "MY BUD HAS SOMETHING TO SAY, SO ALL OF YOU LISTEN UP!"

With the volume of the exclamation still ringing in his ears, Cloud stepped forward followed by Olimar. The two looked at the crowd of Smashers that now had their eyes on them. After a few seconds, Cloud sighed, "This is completely stupid..."

"I agree, but we have our orders to confess," Olimar replied, "Master Hand shouldn't be defied, after all."

Cloud hated that he was right. Taking a deep breath, the former swordsman told the confession.

"I am actually Cloud Strife. The one that looks like me is really Olimar. We... Swapped bodies."

Murmurs filled the room after that was said.

"Wasn't Manaphy exiled from the mansion?" Marth asked, which was followed by Ganondorf, "Yes. Good riddance to the pest, too."

"Swapping isn't really possible now, so why make up something like this?" Sonic inquired, a skeptical look in his eye. This set off Cloud, "Are you saying that we're lying about this shit? What the hell makes you think that we're 'joking'?"

This left the all of the Smashers stunned. The space pilot never swore, not even lightly. As for Olimar, hearing himself swear without his control was pretty... Unnerving, to say the least. Alph cautiously approached Cloud. "Captain Olimar..? Are you feeling okay?" he asked hesitantly. The real Olimar shook his head, "Alph, that isn't me. It's Cloud."

Alph quickly looked to him, to Cloud, then back to him with a suspicious look. "Prove it."

"Fine then. You and your crew rescued me from a golden monster keeping me hostage. Apparently, I had found your cosmic drive key in the assumption that it was treasure. I guess you could say that we saved each other," Olimar stated with a light laugh while Alph's eyes widened, "Your captain offered to drop my partner and I off at Hocotate on your way home to Koppai. Again, I apologize for his never ending hunger that cost you the temporary loss of your provisions."

"Wh-what did we do yesterday?!"

"Karaoke. My family honestly has no interest in it, as I've told you before... They don't know what they're missing."

After snickers from the crowd of Smashers subsided, Alph slowly turned to the group.

"... They're telling the truth."

A/N:

Yes. Olimar is into karaoke. I'm not making that up at all. I will gladly prove it if you ask.