Title: Helpless – Pt. 3
By: FanofRandy
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The date did not go well. He had tried to get into the "mood" and have a good time, but he could not block the image of going under water from his head. He picked at his food and was not a very good conversationalist. He finally took the young lady home, apologized, and went home to try to get some rest. He had not slept any length of time in over 48 hours and he was certain that he would not be getting much more before his next shift.
The next day he was off and the day was filled with errands, grocery shopping, laundry and helping his neighbor lady with a project. When he finally returned home, he realized that it was dinner time and he had not eaten all day. Exhaustion and hunger overwhelmed him and he gave in to the latter. After making himself a sandwich and grabbing a glass of milk, he sat on the sofa to eat. He finished his meal and lay down on the couch to rest his eyes. He was jolted awake by the sound of water rushing past his ears and his dad's voice saying, "You're gonna be okay, Son." John could not think of what the dream meant. He searched his memory for a match to the dream, but came up empty. He resigned to the bedroom and pulled the covers down the bed. He fell into the sheets and a fitful sleep.
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When he returned to the station the next day his exhaustion was apparent to everyone. "Didn't get much rest, huh, Gage?" Dwyer commented as John entered the dayroom from the parking lot. "Heard you had a hot date."
"Where'd you hear that?" John snapped back, but followed with, "Oh, never mind." When he saw Roy walk in to the Day Room. "So, how was the shift?" John diverted.
"Actually, pretty quiet despite the rains. Roy told me about the rescue you had the other night…the kids in the storm drain. Glad we didn't have anything like that." Dwyer said as he got up to follow John to the Locker Room.
John answered. "Yeah, I guess you guys got lucky."
John walked on to the locker rooms and when he opened the door, the smell of stagnant water stopped him in his tracks. An overwhelming sense of déjà vu came over him. He moved to the bench in front of his locker and sat down. He opened his locker and saw that his shoes were still in there from the previous shift. "That smell is familiar." Johnny thought. But he could not remember where he had smelled it before and why it seemed to cause him such unease. He resolved that it was the stress he and Roy endured as they searched for the boys. Rescues involving children were always more of a strain. He shook off the feeling and continued to dress for his shift. He was nearly dressed when Roy walked up beside him.
"Hey, Junior." Roy greeted.
John jumped. "Man! Roy, you gotta sneak up on a guy like that?" He declared, obviously startled by Roy's presence.
"I thought you woulda heard the door, Johnny. 'M sorry." Roy apologized as he assessed his Partner while getting dressed himself. "Did you get ANY sleep last night?" Roy asked, remembering their talk about his restlessness.
"Not much." He admitted. "I guess I have just gotten too tired to sleep." John deduced.
"Now that doesn't make sense. Do you think that swallowing that water has gotten you sick?" Roy worried.
"No, 'm not sick. Just can't sleep is all. I lay there and…nothin'. When I do get to sleep, then I wake up with a jolt, like 'm fallin' or somethin'." John explained.
Roy was careful to tread lightly so his Partner would not close down. "You think Brackett can help? Maybe give you something to help you sleep—at least when we are off shift?" He ventured.
"Dunno. Maybe. I'm okay right now. I may check with Brackett when I get off t'morrow." John acquiesced. Roy was at a loss for words. This was not what he had come to expect from his Partner in the two years they had been working together. John Gage generally hid his feelings, emotions, aches and pains and was not open to outside help. But, something had changed.
"Johnny, what's going on?" Roy asked his now pensive Partner.
John was staring into his locker and had become silent. He was suddenly overcome by a memory that disturbed him to his very core and he was unaware of Roy's words. He looked at the bottom of his locker as he remembered the water rushing over him once again and he was going under…
He was shaken from the vision when Roy's arm landed on his shoulder. "Hey, Partner. You okay?" Roy asked.
John jerked and turned toward Roy. "Uh, yeah. I just-just…I don't know, it was like I was remembering somethin'." John deflected as he grabbed his shoes to put them on. Roy caught the smell as well.
"Those the ones you were wearin' the other night in the storm drain?" Roy questioned.
"Yeah. Musta left 'em here when we got off shift the other morning." John said as he tied the bow in the first shoe.
Just then, Cap called out, "Roll Call in five, men." John sighed; grateful the conversation would end, at least for the time being. Roy turned to answer Cap's call as John shut his locker and walked out into the bay without another word.
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John and Mike were assigned to hang hose. After the rains the last few days, there was a lot of hose to clean and hang to dry. John loved this assignment since it usually meant he would be up in the hose tower, 50 feet off the ground. Up there, John felt freer, more at peace. Most of the men did not begrudge him the task of pulling the hose up the tower. They would rather have their feet planted on terra firma. Mike was a quiet soul and John knew that meant that there would not be anyone asking him questions or bothering him with details of his date night.
As he pulled the last of the hose up from Mike, Chet called out from the bay doors, "Hey, Gage. How was your date the other night?" Any hope of avoiding the subject was now gone.
"None of your business, Chet." John yelled to his tormentor. But, he knew that Chet would be relentless in his pursuit of information.
"Aw, c'mon, Johnny-baby. Tell us how you swept her off her feet and all, why dontcha?" Chet mocked.
As John hung the last few feet of hose, he glanced down at Mike who was smiling up at him and shaking his head. "Mike, you wanna turn that hose on Chet for me, Pal?" John joked with his crew mate and motioned toward the hose attached to the back of the station.
"Be glad to Gage." Mike quipped. "But, I don't think it will shut 'im up. It'll just get 'im wet."
John was taken back once again to their last rescue in the storm drain. "Why can't I shake this one?" John wondered aloud.
"What did you say, Johnny?" Mike called up; not quite hearing the man's words.
"Uh…nothin' Mike. Be down in a minute." John recovered.
In his mind, John could see water rushing over him as he went under for a second time, but it was not in the storm drain a few nights ago…it was when he was 12 years old…and the memory threw him off balance and he started to tumble...
TBC